"Then, why are you crying?"
Time froze for just a moment. His serious ocean blue stared into mine. His expression was softhearted and concerning. I slowly, moved my hand up to my cheek. I felt a streak of stickiness on my skin. A remnant of a tear. I was ... crying? I removed my hand and stared at the boy in horror.
"Hey," the boy started, snapping me back to reality. I ran down the hall before he could finish what he was saying. I wasn't going to let this stranger see me cry any longer.
After the incident at Recon Corps Therapy, the Fubars decided it would be best for me to see a crummy school counselor as well. Didn't they realize they were only making my situation worse? Didn't they realize that I was an antisocial, introvert teen? Didn't they realize that I didn't like talking about anything in my past? Didn't they realize that all of this counseling was a waste of time and money? Didn't they realize that I was just a little piece of shit that was infiltrating all of their lives? Apparently not, because they wouldn't stop talking to me, and now are forcing me to seek counseling help that I didn't need from my new school.
What my aunt and uncle really didn't know was what had happened in the hallway, between the waiting room and the therapy room. The boy who had seen me cry. He had only seen a few tears descend from my eyes, but even those few tears were all too much. When was the last time I had cried? I couldn't remember, not since I was a little girl, that was all I knew. Why had I faltered then? Not once before had I succumbed so easily in front of anyone. Erwin Smith had asked me too many questions at once. He had reminded me of all too many memories of my past. And worst of all, I had run into another person, a stranger, showing him signs of my weakness. I was probably fine though. I would probably have to never see this boy again, or at least, never have to deal with him again.
A little over a week had past since I moved in, and spring break had come to a close. I was starting school today, at my new high school, Trost High. I looked at my schedule
1st Drawing and Painting Zacharius
2nd Online Lab Bozado
3rd Chemistry Zoe
4th Algebra II Ackerman
5th World History Pixis
6th American Lit Gin
Bertholdt had shown me where my first hour was, since his was nearby. I was glad there was an opening in an art class. Thankfully, since it was after spring break, we were starting on a new project, still lifes. Except, I had the problem that my right arm was broken and I was right handed. Great, now anything I try to do in this class will look like crap. Not only could I not write but I wasn't going to be able to draw anything either. Lovely. It was an interesting hour, trying to draw with my left handed and utterly failing at it.
After my disastrous time in first hour, second hour, it was online lab.
Thankfully, the school allowed me to have the same online program I had at my old school. I learned sign language online. I had a feeling this would be my favorite class, because I didn't have to interact with anyone.
Online lab had come to an end. My next class was chemistry, with Mrs. Zoe. Bertholdt and Reiner had told me a little about her, since they had her last year. Apparently she was a "psychotic chemistry enthusiast" in Reiner's words. I had visited this woman's room once before, but I got utterly lost in the midst of the hallways. I didn't bother asking anyone where her room was last hour, it was my silent hour, I shouldn't have to interact with anyone.
The bell, signaling the beginning of class rang. Shit. It was only 3rd hour and I already had a tardy. A part of me wanted to skip out on chem. The empty hallways were nice and quiet, but I knew skipping out on my first day was probably not a good idea. After five minutes of walking in a dead silent, empty hallway, I finally stumbled across C-12, my chem class room. I held out my hand, and held the metallic door knob, and slowly turned the knob and opened the door. I saw a few faces turn around and stare at me. The teacher stopped writing on the board and turned around.
"Annie! You made it!" She exclaimed. I could instantly see what Reiner meant by "psychotic enthusiast" The woman had oval shaped glasses and her hair tied into a messy ponytail, wore a white lab coat with jeans and a navy blue T-shirt that said "A.P. Chem 2013-2014".
"Come in, don't be shy, I won't bite you for being late, you just got a little lost right?" A little unnerved by this woman's enthusiasm, I nodded. For once, that was really the reason to why I was late.
"Oh okay, here sit at that open desk over there." She pointed toward the far back corner, where a blonde girl with short hair looked at the board and was copying whatever was written on the board. I could barely see her face, but she had glasses on. I walked over to my new seat, and set my backpack down on the floor. I looked back up, and the girl turned around.
"Hi, I'm-" she started, and stopped. This wasn't any girl I was talking to. This was the boy I had run into the other day at Recon Therapy! The one who had seen me crying. Shit. The boy looked at me, his sea blue eyes wide open, looking at me in shock. I quickly turned away, looked down and broke the awkward stare. How was this happening? How come he goes to this school?! He looks like a little girl! And why out of all people in the entire school, was I put next to him?! This was bad, really bad.
"Hey," he started, interrupting my thoughts. "You should probably write that stuff down," he said, a look of nervousness in his eyes. I broke out of my trance, and nodded. The rest of the hour, I wasn't able to concentrate on anything. I just sat in the classroom, blankly as Mrs. Zoe yapped on about chemistry.
"Well, your homework for tonight is page 358, #20-30" I quickly scribbled down the homework assignment, onto the blank notebook page.
"Hey," the blonde boy started to say as he took his glasses off and put them in his case. I raised an eyebrow in response.
"I'm Armin,by the way, uh, nice to meet you," he said. I said nothing. This situation was beyond awkward for him, and it was for me too. He didn't have to pretend that it was nice to meet me. It really wasn't. Considering our first encounter, he should know that I'm just a fucked up teenager with a fucked up life, if I was at therapy. Then again, he was also at the therapy center as well. Then he should know better and not deal with messed up people like me.
"Do you have A lunch?" he asked. I began shoving my notebook and textbook back into my backpack. I could tell what was coming up. He was going to ask me to sit with him at lunch. And I wasn't going to do that. It was bad enough that I had a class with him, let alone sit next to him in that class. I was definitely not going to sit with this boy's friend group, whoever they were.
"No," I lied. He looked away, did he look disappointed?
"Oh okay. Well, I'm pretty sure there will be someone that'll sit with you at lunch." I nodded, though I knew it was a complete lie. Even if I were to have a later lunch, no one would ask me to sit with them at lunch. And even if they were to, I would reject them anyway.
The bell rang, signaling the end of class. Students rushed out of the classroom. I was the last to leave the room. I didn't really know where to go anyway, so why rush? I strolled along the hallway. I saw Armin with his friends eating in the hallway. I walked a little faster, hoping he wouldn't see me. I walked further down the hallway until I found a corner I could have to myself. I sat down, and pulled out my sack lunch, and began to eat the peanut butter and jelly sandwich I had made last night.
I observed the people, each in their own friend group. They were all eating, talking and laughing. I didn't understand how people really worked. How could they be so stupid. I didn't understand why people could interact together. What was the point of having friends anyway? In the end, all they ever do is stab each other the back, only gaining advantage from people. The strong prey on the weak. I don't want to be a part of that, and I'm not. That's why I choose to stay alone.
I see Armin look over at me. I couldn't tell what his facial expression was, he was too far away for me to tell. Though I figured he wasn't happy that I lied to him. I slunk down further towards the ground. I didn't care. I wasn't going to sit with anyone, ever again, especially him.
Life is just a cycle of happiness instantly being snatched away by the hands of fate. And by now, I've learned that being close to people will just make suffering much worse. All I need is a week. A week and anyone who tries to interact with me will go away. They'll know I'm just a fucked up antisocial bitch, and they'll go away. And I'm okay with that.
Hey guys, wow I'm on a roll, I'm updating so quickly! Although, don't expect another one soon, I have an AP World Test Monday, and track starts on Monday. I'll try to update asap. And please review, that makes me really happy :) Also I'm really happy about my seven followers, this is great, I'm glad people like this. One last thing, glasses Armin because it's attractive and I'm the author and I can do that.
