Title: Fruit of the Poisonous Berry
Fandom: Longmire
Characters: Vic Moretti, Walt Longmire, Cady Longmire, Ferg, Ruby
Category: Romance, Angst, Drama, Holiday
Rating: M
Word count: ~ 10,000
Summary: What will happen when The Ferg decides some Christmas decorations are in order and Walt and Vic end up under the mistletoe? Post-Season 4 Fix-It. Fic.
Spoilers/Timeline: Post Season 4
Author's Note: Written to the soundtrack of Clare Dunn's "Move On" and "Tuxedo" and Ellie Goulding's "How Long Will I Love You."
It was a week before Vic saw Walt again, except in passing at work. She volunteered to work Christmas in an effort to avoid any joyous celebrations of light and love. She wasn't in any mood to spend time contemplating the last year and where her life outside of work stood. To her surprise Walt took the day off to spend with Cady and Henry. It made her even more grateful that she had decided to work. She didn't think she could handle spending Christmas with him, being included but not on the inside.
Dutifully Vic called her mother early that morning and let Lena give her an earful on why she hadn't come back to Philly for the holidays. She even exchanged a few sentences with Vic the Father, Christmas being one of the few days of the year he took off if he didn't have an open case. They were almost civil. Unlike Lena he didn't harangue her about coming back to Philly - he understood why she had left - but he did spend some quality time on why her current job was beneath her and she should make an effort. Vic hadn't bothered to try to explain.
By the time Vic got off shift, it was late enough to be early. The soft glow of Christmas lights still illuminated Cady's small yard, but there were no cars or trucks left outside. Presumably all presents had been distributed, edible delights consumed and Christmas cheer imbibed before everyone had gone home.
Vic was glad to have missed it. Her heart ached too much for her to even consider acting festive around Walt. She couldn't imagine sitting across from him and having to be civil and appropriate, pretending like nothing had happened between them. She could still feel the ghost of his hands on her body and his lips claiming hers at the most inappropriate moments. If she blushed at one more odd moment when she was around Cady, the Greatest Legal Mind of Our Time was going to think something was wrong with her.
Slipping in the door as quietly as she could to keep from waking Cady, Vic almost dropped her keys when she saw Cady sitting on the couch, tumbler in hand and a decanter of whiskey on the coffee table in front of her, as she stared into the soft glow of the fireplace. Gas flames flicked gently inside instead of the real logs that Walt's fireplace boasted. Vic tried not to think about it, but the comparison came unbidden.
"Shit," Vic breathed pressing her hand to her chest and feeling her heart thudding rapidly beneath it. "I didn't think you'd still be up." She tossed her keys down onto the table by the door and slid her bag off her shoulder, letting it fall to the floor with a thump since there was no longer a need to be quiet.
"Vic," Cady acknowledged her sounding distracted and barely lifting her eyes from the fire. "I was just thinking. I guess I lost track of time."
Vic dropped onto the opposite end of the couch from Cady and bent to unlace her boots. "Sounds like heavy thoughts," Vic said, giving Cady a chance to speak before she looked back up.
There was a slight pause and then Cady leaned forward, untucking one leg to grab the bottle of whiskey off the coffee table and refill her tumbler. "My Mom," Cady said. "I was just thinking about… remembering her… thinking about other Christmases with her and Dad."
"You miss her," Vic stated the obvious as she finally toed her boots off and reached for the bottle of whiskey. Cady had set it back down closer to her end of the table in clear invitation.
"Yeah, I do," Cady laughed, a sound whose cheer was muffled by a choking sob that broke off abruptly. "Dad always worked Christmas, you know. As long as I can remember." She glanced over at Vic with a confiding smile. "Mom hated it. Henry would always come over, but it just wasn't the same. There was this one year though. We had a freak blizzard - it was much worse than we were expecting. Dad got snowed in and one of his deputies had to take his shift. There was no way he could get out to take any calls."
"I bet he was pissed," Vic said, leaning back into the soft cushions and allowing herself to start to relax as she imagined it. She knew how pissed she would have been herself. She could only imagine how Walt had felt about it.
"He was at first," Cady agreed. "But then he just kind of relaxed and went with it.
Vic snorted. "Walt going along with something like that is hard to picture."
Cady flashed Vic a smile. "I think he realized how happy it was making Mom to have him there, as grumpy as he was being. She always said it was her favorite Christmas."
"Now that I can see," Vic said with a nod. "The job sucks for families."
"Is that why you-" Cady bit her lip and looked apologetic. "Sorry. I always get nosey after a few drinks."
With a casual wave, Vic dismissed her apology, and arched an amused eyebrow. "Why my marriage crashed and burned?" Her lips twisted into a pained expression. "I was lucky, I guess. Sean traveled so much for his work, he was gone as much as I was. He hated it when he came home and I wasn't there, though. He'd get so pissed. It's not like I could tell the shitheads to take a day off from killing each other."
"No," Cady agreed. "I didn't always get it as a kid, but now that I'm older," she shrugged. "It makes sense. I'm proud of what he does and he's always tried his best to make time for me." She smiled at Vic, her grin starting to look a little sleepier now, not coming as quickly. "What about you? Isn't your dad a cop?"
"Sure," Vic said, with a feral grin. "Chief of Detectives North, Vic Morretti. But he barely paid attention to Ma, much less us kids. I don't think he really looked at me until I graduated from the Academy."
"Wait," Cady said, pushing herself up straighter on the couch. "You're a Junior?"
"Nope, that would be my older brother, Vic the son." Vic was grinning now; it wasn't the first time she'd had this conversation.
"Wow," Cady shook her head. "Just wow."
"I think it's why I tried so hard with Sean. I didn't want to be like him. I didn't want to fail." Vic cleared her throat as she contemplated what she was about to say next. Even now thinking about Gorski could make her taste the thin coppery taste of terror at the back of her throat, but she'd already confided things in Cady that she hadn't said out loud to anyone else. She might as well go all in. "I was, uh, going through some pretty rough stuff when Sean and I met and I think maybe I wanted us to work more than we actually did."
"That's a tough one," Cady agreed, but she didn't sound like she was judging Vic for the admission. She took a quick sip of her drink, smiled bitterly and added, "And it never seems to work out."
"Branch." Vic said, knowing immediately where Cady's thoughts had gone.
"Branch," Cady admitted, then shrugged and slumped back against the couch. "I don't know what I would have done if he'd…" She stumbled for words. "If he hadn't…"
"Yeah," Vic said, stopping her from fishing for more words it would be impossible to find. She let the silence after that linger for a moment as her thoughts drifted to Branch and the past year. It had been hard enough feeling responsible for another man's death, but every time she thought about his death now the image of Walt with the shotgun in his mouth flashed horrifyingly in front of her eyes. Walt had been so wrapped up in the investigation that day, Vic didn't think he had had any idea - then or now - how terrified she'd been that day and still was when she remembered that moment. "I don't want to make that same mistake again," Vic said softly. "Trying to force something that isn't right because I'm scared." And maybe that's all it was. Maybe she had imagined all the moments between she and Walt. Maybe she hated being on her own and was trying to latch onto the only friendly male face in this shithole of a state who didn't bore her. Or maybe she loved Walt and he didn't give a shit about her. Probably that one.
Cady's laugh startled Vic and sounded a little too cheerful. Vic wondered how much of that whiskey she'd had before Vic had come in. "You never sound afraid."
"Practice," Vic said succinctly. "I've never been as scared as the day I found you in that ditch."
Cady's glass hit the coffee table too loudly. "That was you? I never knew."
"Yeah," Vic nodded, digging at the cuticle of her thumbnail with another nail. "I was pretty freaked out when I realized it was you, but I knew the job. You have to put it aside. Do the steps and it gets you through."
"You saved my life," Cad said, staring at Vic like she hadn't seen her before.
"Hardly," Vic protested. "I just made Ferg send an ambulance and kept talking to you until they got there." Vic swallowed unable to remember it without the echo of the fear she'd felt that day returning. "I really didn't want to have to tell Walt that…"
"Oh, God," Cady said, getting it immediately. "No, that would have been horrible."
"Yeah," Vic agreed, but it wasn't something she wanted to think about anymore. The emotions of the day simmered at her fingertips and she didn't want to go back there again, not after the week she'd had. "But it's too fucking depressing to sit and think about this shit. Neither one of us has to be up in the morning for work. Let's get drunk and listen to music too loud and have a dance party."
Cady giggled and sort of lurched toward Vic's side of the couch, sprawling out across it more than she had intended. "Okay." She stretched her arm out further, pointing toward the mantle. "But maybe you should open your present first?"
Vic grinned. "Seriously? You got me a present?" She asked, glancing back over her shoulder at Cady as she crossed the room to grab the small, gold gift box off the mantle.
"Not me," Cady said as she laid her head on her arm and burrowed down into the couch, tugging a throw up around her shoulders. "It was Dad."
Vic froze, about to pick it up. "No."
"Mmm," Cady hummed her confirmation, but the way her eyes were beginning to droop didn't escape Vic's notice. She didn't think they were going to make that dance party. She didn't know what to think. What could Walt have given her? They had never exchanged gifts before. Maybe it was just some generic gift to not seem rude or out of place if it had come up at Cady's Christmas party, but she had never thought Walt was the kind of thing to do something just to forestall what people might think. There was only one way to find out.
Snatching the box up off the mantle, Vic retreated back to the couch and folded herself into the small space Cady had left for her. The box itself was a flat rectangle, both longer and wider than it was deep. The lid was made with two strips of faux ribbon that came up from the bottom in the same sparkly golden, holiday leaf pattern as the rest of the box.
"He cares about you, you know? He doesn't get a gift for just anyone," Cady said. Her eyes never left Vic as she turned the gift box in her hands eyeing it warily before she was ready to open it. There was no judgement in Cady's eyes, just a calm certainty that made Vic want to fidget more than anything else.
"Cady…" Vic started, but how could she explain how fucked up things were between them. How could she explain that Walt didn't really want her? There had been a fleeting attraction. She hadn't miss read that, but feelings - those had been all her own. Anything on Walt's part had been her own wishful thinking.
But Cady wasn't listening to her. She was laid out across the back of the couch now, her head pillowed on her arm as she watched Vic. "The last people he gave presents to besides me were Henry and my Mom."
Vic grimaced and ducked her head. "It doesn't mean anything. He's just…" she shook her head. "He didn't want things to be weird if I was here."
Cady laughed. "Because my Dad's highest priority is making sure that social situations are never uncomfortable."
Vic snorted and slapped a hand over her mouth. It wasn't a very nice thought, but it was true. Social niceties and Walt Longmire were not things that went together.
"Just open it," Cady said. "And if you hate it, if it hurts, I'll make sure he doesn't bother you outside of work anymore."
"Cady," Vic said turning back to her. "He's your Dad. You shouldn't have to get in the middle of whatever this fucked up thing between me and Walt is."
Cady shrugged one shoulder. "He's the one who did it when he asked me to let you stay here. It's not your fault."
"Shit," Vic whispered. "I'm gonna kill him." She shook her head. "I'll move out tomorrow."
Cady lurched up unsteadily, her hand reaching out for Vic. "Hey, that's not what I meant." She gave a tiny shrug. "It's kind of nice having someone around the place." She looked down at her hands. "It's harder to get lost in your head when there's someone else around." She wrinkled her nose and didn't look at Vic. "Just open your present and forget I said anything."
Vic hesitated, unsure of whether she should press the issue or not, but to her surprise she liked living with Cady. And the real estate situation - at least for a place that wasn't complete crap that she could afford on her deputy's salary - was pretty dire. The lid lifted away easily and revealed a piece of cream cardstock nestled in a bed of forest green tissue paper. Walt's familiar handwriting was scrawled across it, but in a neater form than what usually adorned his paperwork.
It simply read, "Syd's Steakhouse, 8:00 PM, Saturday December 26th." And beneath it, "Please."
Vic turned it over to look at the back and dug through the tissue paper at the bottom of the box to make sure she hadn't missed anything. An explanation maybe? But there was nothing. Was it an invitation or a command. Vic wasn't sure how to respond either way. She could sleep - or not sleep at all - on it, as a thousand confused thoughts tumbled through her head. Or she could go straight for the source.
One quick glance down beside her confirmed that Cady was asleep. Without allowing herself a second thought Vic shoved her feet into her boots and headed for the door. It only took a moment to grab her keys and a coat. She slowed down to lock and deadbolt the door, but refused to let anything else slow her down. If she did, she might start to think or talk herself out of what she was about to do and she couldn't. It was like she had told Walt. One way or another Vic had to get one with her life and that meant Vic had to go see Walt tonight.
(3/4)
As this modest fic nears its end I have a couple questions for you lovely readers. I have an idea for a fairly massive book-verse AU story, taking off from A Serpent's Tooth. Would anyone be interested in reading it? Second, and final, question, I can probably post the final part on Friday night. Does that work for everyone or would y'all prefer I wait until Monday? Let me know!
