Reviewer Responses , Thanks to all!
Snodgrass Winkle No, thank god! I hate him, he's so ugly, with bulgy eyes and a fleshy face. Shudder! Thank you for your offer, I gladly take it up.
I.H.N Wow, that was a thorough review! Although the word charming seems to wound my pride a bit. As to the names I use, I have no idea if they belong to anyone else. I don't think I used Idril's name. I hope not because I don't like her, too posh. I know about the family names thing, but Eärfalas isn't a family name. It's is merely a second name, like Mary Sue! Well, maybe that wasn't the best example. And I love the idea of Cirdan being ancient! There's something so wonderfully…ancient about that. Thank you for reviewing my story!
Tenga I personally never found the Silmarillion hard to get through until I read the Turin chapter, man he sucks! As for the whole mix up over Arda and Middle Earth, not a problem. I am my own information goddess by the way! Thank you for apologizing it really impressed me. And if I see another Aragorn/Legolas torture fic I think I'm goin' to spit bullets….at the writers!
Vana TuivanaWow! Thanks for the review oh great writer of poem without Feanorians! I have always loved Cirdan, and I decided if I ever wrote fan fiction it would be about the cool side characters who shouldn't have been side characters. I have found a Beta reader so don't worry about the grammar, it shouldn't be a problem anymore.
Chapter Three
Let the
rain come down and wash away my tears
Let it fill my soul and
drown my fears
Cirdan was in his element.
With an army of willing elves at his call, he was seeing to the final preparation for the departing vessel. Rigging and sails were placed and the hold was begin loaded with the necessary supplies for the journey. Baggage was being sorted and bunks assigned.
"No! Eleyond, don't put that in the load!" Cirdan ran over and stopped the ellon from storing fresh fruit in the load. "If you do that you'll arrive in Valinor smelling like rotting apricots." the shipwright smiled.
The ellon blushed a painful red in his embarrassment. 'Thank you my lord." he said quietly. "I didn't know that it was…I mean…I"
"It's nothing Eleyond, just don't do it again." Cirdan replied calmly. He went to the railing and looked over the side to the dock where the Haven ellyth were busy weaving flower chains. Piles of sea oats and wild flowers were expertly woven together by the quick and eager hands of the young women.
"It's exciting isn't it Cirdan?" Itarildë asked, as she stepped passed him to the bridge. She fastened a bright nosegay to the steering wheel with a bit of twine.
"Yes, it always is. Now, don't go cluttering up the wheel with those weeds!" he said, gesturing at the flowers.
"They're not weeds Cirdan, they're beautiful flowers." Itarildë returned placidly. "besides, they happen to be Glorifindel's favorite, and as he is to captain the ship I thought it would be appropriate."
"Oh? So Eglerion won't be the captain?" Cirdan tried to ask casually.
"I'm sure I don't know." Itarildë answered, "I haven't seen him all day." She busied herself with the flowers, purposefully not looking at the shipwright. Cirdan studied the back of Itarildë's head, her dark hair combed back and braided with a few tiny metal clasps.
Surely, if she was connected to Eglerion in some deep way she would be concerned with his departure. Then again, Cirdan mused, she could merely be avoiding the subject for his sake. Itarildë had always known what was and was not a touchy subject with him. She had never asked about his life during the first ages, and Gil-Galad's name had never crossed her lips except in song.
Her honesty and truthful spirit had been one of the things that had first caught his attention. Of course Cirdan had known hundreds of elves and Itarildë was not remarkable in any extreme way. But her simplicity of nature and understanding heart was refreshing.
She had said she hadn't seen Eglerion, so Cirdan believed her.
"My lord?" a familiar voice called to Cirdan. He turned and saw the ellon in question coming toward him. His handsome face was unusually drawn and white, as if something was weighting heavily on his mind.
"Yes, what is it?" Cirdan asked. Itarildë departed with an anxious look on her face that worried Cirdan even more then Eglerion's pallor.
"I need to speak with you alone." he answered. "As soon as possible, if you can."
"Certainly, come along. I think the rest of the are capable of caring for the ship on their own." Cirdan directed the ellon to follow him. They swung down onto the dock and began walking away down the sand covered walkway, that lead all along the rows of cottages. White, whip like clouds scuttled across the sky, and Cirdan mentally began to predict the weather for the next day.
Eglerion didn't speak and Cirdan bided his time until they were well out of earshot of the other elves. As they walked Eglerion kept throwing glances back at the ship and Itarildë as if he was worried they would overhear.
"Now, Eglerion tell me, what is on your mind?" the Shipwright finally inquired.
Eglerion drew a deep breath and said, "I would like your permission to remain here in the Havens, instead of leaving with the ship tomorrow." was his stunning statement.
Cirdan's throat constricted painfully, and he swallowed before saying, "You wish to remain behind?"
"I do. I can fulfill any job you can find for me here. I've done many types of work before and I know you always need help." He went on hurriedly, as if afraid that Cirdan would object before he had the chance to present his case.
Cirdan studied the ellon's face for a moment before asking. "Is there any other reason?" Cirdan asked. Eglerion looked back to the dock where the elves worked.
"Yes, yes there is." he whispered. "I want to be near Itarildë. I would like to try and win her heart and hand."
The words fell like icy hail between the shipwright and ellon. Cirdan felt frozen in place, unable to inhale or expel oxygen from his aching lungs. It was his worst fear, suddenly and horribly come to life. All coherent thought failed him as he stared back at the young elf before him.
"You see." Eglerion went on, "I couldn't court her from Valinor, and she has as much as told me that she isn't departing anytime soon. I don't want to ran the risk of losing her to another elf."
A gull swooped by screaming his high pitched wail and the sound seemed to bring Cirdan back to life as he said, "I see. Does…does Itarildë reciprocate your feelings?"
"I don't know." was Eglerion's answer, "I have tried to tell her how I feel, but she never allows me to speak. I think she thought she was robbing me of my chance to leave for Valinor if I pledged myself to her."
"I see." Cirdan repeated.
He was never sure afterward just what he had advised the elf to do. He gave his permission for Eglerion to stay and had wandered away to think. He walked on and on like a blind man, unsure of where he was going and not caring where he stopped. Evening fell and a brisk wind sprang up from the sea.
Along the cliffs he strode, deep in thought. "Oh Ulmo, how I would crave your counsel now." he thought longingly. But no answering voice sprang from the murmuring waves, and the sky was silent in starry splendor. He slowly turned his feet homeward, every step dragging and heavy.
Only a few lights still burned in the houses in the cove, far below him. The scene was almost magical in appearance, a summer mist lending an ethereal glow to every blue lantern. Below Itarildë lay sleeping, and not far from her, in a cottage, her would be lover. Cirdan asked himself fiercely, "And why should they not love each other? Why should I stand in their way? She deserves someone so young and devoted."
Cirdan looked down at his hands, suddenly seeing every scar and crease from the passages of ages. He clenched his fists and returned to the house. He was overdue to leave these shores and he should never have promised to wait.
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The dock was bustling with elves and in some cases naughty elflings. The day had arrived ad the raft of new elves had brought confusion and chaos to the Havens. Cirdan stood in the prow and shouted instructions to his elves while trying to direct the newcomers to their places onboard ship.
In the midst of all this riotous commotion two elflings ran squealing with delight all over the unloaded baggage.
"Children, get below deck this minute!" Glorifindel's voice thundered over the heads of the elves blocking his access to his off spring. Ignoring their father, the little ones ran up the steps of the bridge and around the legs of their elders. They were being children and generally getting in everyone's way.
"Children!" Glorifindel hollered again. Cirdan looked from the tall yellow haired elf to his errant twins. Thinking quickly, the Shipwright swung onto the rigging and nimbly made his way to the elflings, dropping to the deck in time to swipe them up in his arms. The children squeaked with mingled fear and dismay at this sudden capture.
"No! Put us down!" Cerediron demanded. His tiny fists beating harmlessly against Cirdan's firm grip.
"We want to see the ship Sirdan!" Glanlotiel whined, fixing her big blue eyes on the Shipwright.
Giving them both a squeeze, Cirdan shook his head, "Not now, you'll have plenty of time for that later. Right now you have to do as your Ada says."
"But we have to sit and not do nothing! And that's no fun at all!" the tiny elleth said tossing her golden braids back out of her eyes.
Cirdan nodded his head sympathetically, "I know, but elflings must learn to be good and obedient to their parents."
"Even if it's boring?" Cerediron asked unhappily.
"Especially when it's boring. It's like a game. You have to see if you can obey even when the task is long and dull." Cirdan said convincingly. The twins looked at one another and seemed to mulled this strange new idea over in their heads.
"Aha! There you are!" Glorifindel exclaimed as Cirdan surrendered the twins to their father. "I though I'd never get hold of you two!"
"Ada, we're ready to do what you want." Cerediron said seriously, and his sister nodded in agreement.
"Oh! Oh, well. Then go sit quietly with your Amme, and wait till we're ready for departure." their shocked father instructed, "Don't run anymore today."
"Yes, Ada." they answered and linking their baby hands, the golden haired twins disappeared below deck. Glorifindel looked after them as if he had never seen them before.
"Whatever did you do to them?" he asked the Shipwright.
"It's an old trick I used on Gil-Galad, and the Peredhel twins a long time ago." Cirdan answered mysteriously. "It works every time. Whenever they begin to misbehave just causally drop something about 'the game.' That usually clears things right up. Cirdan smiled broadly at the ellon and returned to his directing.
All too soon it seemed that the ship was finally and fully complete. The elves stood and sat around the deck in little groups as they waited for Cirdan to give the go ahead. He stood looking down on them all, young and old alike. He took a deep breath and addressed them.
"Dear friends, the day has come for your final journey. For many of you this will be the first sight you have had of paradise. For others this will be a homecoming long looked for." he gaze fell on Glorifindel whose eyes gleamed with unshed tears.
"For those of you new to the Blessed realm, don't worry. You will be met by your family and friends. If you have any concerns during the voyage, remember to apply to Glorifindel, as he will be your captain." Cirdan swept the crowd and he went on. "If any of you wish to remain in Middle Earth for a time, speak now. There is no shame in remaining if you don't feel ready."
The elves shifted and glanced at each other wondering if any of them would change their minds. Word of Eglerion's decision had made the rounds and all his companions had been more then a trifle hurt. Finally, all the elves turned back to Cirdan and he smiled.
"Well. Then. Remember all our blessings go with you. Farewell and be joyous! You're going home!"
Cirdan's hearty shout ignited the flame in the elves and they shouted and cheered, crying with happiness. Cries of "Valinor bound!" and "Into the West!" rang all around the cove. Cirdan embraced Glorifindel before giving him command and their tears flowed freely and unashamedly, as the Teleri elf and the Nolder parted for the last time.
"We've seen a few strange and mighty things together haven't we?" Glorifindel smiled.
"Aye," Cirdan laid a hand on the wheel and said, "Take her home safely my friend."
"Like she was my own daughter." Glorifindel answered. A shriek from Glanlotiel sounded and they both looked back in time to see her hurl herself at her brother, fists flying.
"Well…perhaps a bit more gently then my own daughter." Glorifindel said and they both laughed.
Quickly the Haven elves cleared off the ship saying goodbye to the elves who had been their companions briefly. Itarildë took Cirdan's hand in hers as she stepped off the gangplank.
The board was pulled into the vessel and with a few deft movements the mooring ropes were cast away. The swanlike craft sliced through the water smoothly, meeting the small rise of waves with hardly any resistance. As if in loneliness the Haven elves cluttered together on the dock, watching as the ship passed through the promontories to the North and South.
The sky deepened to shades of lavender and blue as the sun sank to the horizon. When they ship was almost out of sight the sun seemed to frame it with golden light With a gentle quiver the vessel disappeared from their sight. A collective sigh broke from the Haven elves.
There was always that longing, at the last moment, a wish, that they had gone too. As twilight gathered the Haven elves returned to the great house. A quiet had settled over them, the absence of the departing elves making the cove seem too big and empty to be comfortable. For many of them the call to depart had not come, and yet they retired with the serious consideration that next time they would go.
It was always this way.
Cirdan and Itarildë walked back together, her hand still clasped in his. Eglerion didn't seem to be bothered by this. After hadn't she always looked up to the Teleri as a father figure? If Eglerion had known the true feelings that Cirdan had for the elleth, he would , perhaps, have wished he hadn't stayed.
But to Cirdan she was all but truly betrothed to Eglerion. And to Itarildë, nothing had really changed but the way Cirdan held her hand. He kept it close and tighter as if he was afraid to release it. But he didn't look at her, keeping his face turned away so all she could see was the silver fall of braids around his shoulders.
