Chapter 3: shower
We get back to the Dauntelss sector, we split up. "I'm going to Four's for a bit, I'll see you later" I wave to Christina who walks Will back toward our dorm. "Who said you could come back to my place?" says Tobias pulling me in close with one arm and kissing me. "I did" and I kiss him back with a smile. He kisses my neck, his breath warm on my skin, and his arms wrapped around my waist, strong and gentle then he bends down and grabs me behind my knees picking me up. And I kiss him, laughing at romantic and funny he can be when no one else is around. I wrap my arms around his neck, kissing him and them resting my head on his shoulder. He's strong his hold never shifts, keeping me tight to his chest, our warms shared.
He carries me back to his apartment "would you mind grabbing my key?" he kisses my forehead. "Where is it?" "My pocket" I smile while I kiss him. I take my arm from around his neck and feel his pockets for the key. Finally slipping my hand into his back pocket, and taking long that needed. I unlock the door and he carries me in, kicking our shoes off.
"How'd you get so dirty?" he asks me between kisses. "The fairest wheel was oily and I slipped jumping off the train." Well let's get you cleaned up." He carries me into the bathroom barely letting our lips part. I rub my dirty sleeve on his face, "oh no, now your dirty too" he puts me down without letting our bodies separate. He lifts my shirt over my head and I blush, "are we sharing a shower?" I ask placing my hands on his chest and looking up into his dark eyes. "It would save water" he says with a smirk, "and time" I add. "Though I mean if you don't want to…" it's too late my hands are already riding up his back, raising his shirt over his head.
My fingers flutter over his belt buckle for a moment before I undo it he steps out of his pants, and pulls me close. I put my hands back on his chest, I can feel it expand with every breath and his heart beat under my fingers. He slides his hands into my back pockets. I kiss him and then rest my head on his chest I can feel his fingers brush against my stomach as he unsnaps my pants and tucking his fingers in my belt loops, slowly guides them down.
He kisses me running his hands through my hair, then steps back and looks at me. Tobias reaches over and turns on the water. He plugs the tub but let's he shower run.
Were in our underwear now, taking each other in. as if a light has just been turned on and part of him that was always in shadows is now in view. His boxers are a simple gray; they suit him, complementing his figure whilst not distracting my eyes from the rest of his body. My own underwear are a deep blue, matching my bra, once again the feeling of smallness washes over me, my awareness for how young I look, how flat my chest is and how my body has no curves.
I drink him in seeing every muscle and every hidden part. Form the smudge of dirt I rubbed on his face, down to the subtle V shape extending from his abs, and pointing to the top of his boxers. I can see parts of his boxers. I can see parts his faction tattoo wrapping around the sides of his arms and waist.
I don't want to look into his eyes; I don't want to see his disappointment. But when I finally do, I see no disappointment, as his eyes skirt over my body again; I see a longing, desire. We catch each other's eyes, and I see an almost questioning look in them, as though he is asking me for permission, asking if I'm sure. And I remember almost everything I have done with his is a first for both of us. I look into his eyes, the sound of the bath being filled barely penetrating the back of my consciousness. I nod, looking directly into Tobias' eyes. The feeling of desire I had been feeling for him a moment ago is rekindled into a forest fire. I can hardly hold it I, and I wrap myself in his arms, I want to be close to him, I want to feel his body on mine, our hearts beats to touch. I kiss him. I don't think I could get enough of him. I feel his finger on my back and my bra loosens, undone I slide mu hands down his back still kissing him, and slip my fingers under the waist band of his boxers.
He hooks his fingers on the sides of my underwear and guides them to my knees letting them fall. I release him from my grasp and our lips part, he holds out his arm gesturing to the tub "ladies first" I giggle. I step in and he takes his boxers off and follows. The tub is almost full so Tobias lets it drain partially so we can leave the shower running. We glance at each other, but neither of us wants to stare.
I take the bar of soap at the side of the tub and rub it between my hands, letting it foam. I clean the dirt from Tobias' face, smiling at him. I feel safe with him, I know he loves me, I would never have believed someone if they told me I would be doing this a few months ago. Now that it's actually happening it feels right, that Tobias be the first to see me like this. I take the rest of the foamy soap on my hands and rub it on his chest, watching as it falls down his body with the water cascading over his back and head.
He closes his eyes as I touch his check then slide my hand down his neck and chest. I pull him in for a kiss, the bathroom is steamy and hit, and our kiss is passionate and aggressive. It's not like most of the kisses we share, its more intimate, I feel like I can't get enough.
We turn so I am standing under the water; Tobias takes the soap in one and my arm in the other. He starts to clean the dirt off my hand lightly, the feeling of his rough skin so gentle and warm on mine.
I turn to face the falling water, feeling it hit my face and roll down my body. Tobias presses up against me, his chest raising and falling against my back. I run my hands through my hair, pulling it around so it hangs over my right shoulder exposing my tattoo and he kisses my neck. "You're beautiful Tris" he says with a whisper his hands on my hips. I run my fingers through my hair again and lean my head back on his shoulder. "Beautiful" he says again into my neck.
His hands move up to my chest, I shudder, the last time someone touched me like this was when I was kidnapped and taken to the chasm by Al and Peter. This time is different though, its Tobias, and I know I'm safe, he would never try to hurt me. I lean my head back and kiss him; he smiles down at me, looking down the front of my body.
He moves his hands lower, below my navel. I feel my checks go red. I'm nervous, he moves his hands lower and inhale quickly, almost as if in pain. "Tobias" I sigh and turn back around toward him looking at my feet. I feel ashamed, but I know I'm not ready. "Tobias I…" but I can't say it. "Hey" he says placing a finger under my chin and tilting my head up to look into his eyes, but I can't. I look back down at my feet "Tris? Hey". "Tobias I'm sorry", I feel like I might cry, I feel like I let him down. "Tris, look at me" I'm reluctant but I look into his eyes, they're dark and beautiful. "I love you, no matter what, nothing will ever change that. I won't make you do anything you don't want to. If you want to slow down we'll slow down, if you want to wait well wait. I would never want to ruin what we have" he pulls me in close to his chest. I hug him tight; he kisses the top of my head. This feels right, being this close to him "I'm sorry". "Don't be" he puts his hand on my check and I cover it with my own. "I love you" I kiss him, "I love you more" he says with our foreheads touching.
He reaches behind me and turns the water off, and then grabbing our towels from the counter. He wraps mine around me, kissing my forehead as he does so, his fingers warm on my shoulders.
He wraps his own towel around his waist then picks me up and throws me over his shoulder. "Tobias stop!" I say hitting him playfully on the back, though I can't help but laugh at him. "Towels aren't make for this!" "So?" He says with a smile placing my down on his bed and kissing me. I put my hands on his chest as he leans over me.
"I have to go to work in the morning" I whisper, our lips only a few millimeters apart. "Fine" He sighs with a tone of exasperation. He lets me up and I put on my underwear, so does he "can I borrow a shirt to sleep in?" I ask. "If you want" he smirks "but if you ask me I'm kind of against the whole shirt idea". I hit him again and walk over to his dresser taking out a gray shirt that is way too big for me.
I crawl into his bed "oh so now you're staying over are you?" he laughs "just giving yourself permission to do everything today aren't you"/ I smile "yep". I've stayed as Tobias' before, more often lately, I love sharing a bed with him. I love waking up with his arms around me, and his breathing calm and peaceful. "Well you do, of course know what happens to people who do things without permission, right?" his smile makes me suspicious, and rightly so. "They get attacked" and without warning he jumps on me and starts ticking me.
I can barely breath, I'm laughing so much, "Tobias!" I try to fight back but it's no use. "Tobias I have to go to work in the morning, if I go to work tried I'll get fired for giving people the wrong tattoos.
"Fine" he kisses me and rolls over to lie next to me. He wraps his arm around my shoulders and I rest my hand on his bare chest feeling his chest rise and fall. "I love you" I say "I love you too, Tris" and he kisses me on the top of my head, and with that I can feel my eyelids drop, within a few minutes I'm asleep.
