So, thanks for all of the reviews you guys. C: Yeah, I seriously can't sleep (don't know fucking why), so here's an update for you. C: And yes, this series WILL take a long time. But so be it. I do love to write.

Chapter III: How Could You Be So Heartless?

Your POV:

Since Ratchet completely sucks at landings, he crashes the ship into a cliff, and it explodes, like Ms. Splosion Man. With yells, you and Ratchet fall to the ground-right on your backs. Ouch. So not good for your spine. "Clank?" Ratchet mutters. Oh no, where's Clank? "Where are you?" Of course, your worry fades when you hear what sounds like a muffled "I'm right here" coming from underneath Ratchet. You chuckle as the both of you stand up and Clank gets up from the ground. "Oh, sorry about that," Ratchet says quickly. "Well, we're not leaving the way we came in."

Clank nodded, observing the metal debris. You thought Ratchet would be more upset. He worked hard on that ship. "Perhaps we can procure a ship from one of the inhabitants."

You raise an eyebrow. Is that…bombing? You hear explosions that are somewhat distance, but somewhat not. "You guys hear that?"

Ratchet nodded-no doubt he heard it, his ears are huge. "If there are any left."

You narrow your eyes. "Let's go." Clank hops onto Ratchet's back, and you can hear him shifting around, like a metal backpack.

Okay, so the path to…wherever it is you're going is so not pleasant. You have to waddle through water like a duck, and then swim which not only soaks your clothes but ruins your hair and your makeup, so you once again have pink, blue, black, and glitter around your eyes, and it's dripping down your face. You rub it away on your arm, growling to yourself that you'll fix it the first chance you get. Ratchet turns the bolt crank, and you enter this cave with growing mushrooms-and by the way, it reeks-and…

Then you have to really fight for the first time. Three robots, big, bulky, and yellow, shoot at you. Of course, you do have the sense to get out of the way, but…you don't actually have something to defend yourself with. So, you just let Ratchet take care of them. You'll find a weapon eventually. And then you get to swim-again. And mess up your hair and makeup ever more. Fun. You dive underwater with Ratchet-you don't even like swimming all that much-and it makes you wonder how long he can hold his breath.

You come up with three pools, jump down (completely soaking yourself over and over) and find these two things that look kinda like Yoshi. Ratchet turns the crank again, and it's back under water for you. Good thing you can hold your breath for a long time. You come to another cavern, and with use of the platforms, climb up to a ledge and fight off more of those flying Yoshis. Of course, you have been taking the time to smash the crates. You do know enough about Ratchet and Clank to know that bolts are currency, and you'll need them if you want to buy a weapon.

Fighting off another robot, you jump over the ledge, and Ratchet kills the other one, and you take the elevator platform up to the next level. You come to a door, which means another room with more robots and more elevators. Still, it definitely beats geometry class, right? God, why didn't you take a study hall? It would've eased your suffering. Now that you think about it, there was a lot you could've done to ease your suffering. All of which you caused.

You follow Ratchet through the doors, and you find some weird plumber dude standing there trying to fix something. "Dadblast-it!" He mutters.

Ratchet points at his back. "Look-plumber's crack." You chuckle, but the plumber doesn't seem to find it too funny.

He turns around and snaps, "What did you just say! And what are you laughing at?"

You smirk and say "nothing" while Ratchet says, "I said, look-the plumber's back." You just snort, and listen. God, you need to fix your makeup. Your eyeshadow is probably everywhere and you just know that there's black stuff all around your eyes.

"Alright Wiseguy," The plumber snaps. "Shouldn't you be on one of them escape transports?"

"Escape transports?" Ratchet asks. Hm, you wonder what the safety rules are. You had drills and alarms like once a month at your school and there was safety and emergency numbers and equipment in all of the classrooms, but you never had any escape vehicles.

"News flash: giant robots attacking." The plumber says sarcastically. "The escape transports are taking all the rich folks off this galdarn planet."

"So why aren't you on one?" Ratchet asks.

You nodded. "Yeah, don't plumbers actually make good money?" All of your friends at the tech school the next town over are in auto and plumbing, and once they've been licensed, they'll be able to jobs and earn money. Like, 60 dollars an hour.

"Socioeconomic disparity."

"What?" Ratchet asks.

You raise an eyebrow. "Excuse me, but do you mind talking in a language where I can understand you? As in, speak English!" You say. It's times like this when you wish you had paid more attention in English class. Your mom was gonna put you in SAT prep to expand your vocab, but you are only 15 and still a sophomore.

"He hasn't got enough bolts." Clank explains.

"Well, just say that next time." You mutter, getting a nod from Ratchet.

"Working people have to wait for Captain Qwark to save us." The plumber explains. Well, you have been picking up bolts from destroying enemies.

"Well, got anything worth a lot of bolts?" Ratchet asks. Well, it seems you're on the same wavelength.

He pulls out a disoriented Infobot. "Well, I got this thing-shows two weirdos ditching their ship. It's got coordinates to a desert planet too."

Clank smiles. "An Infobot. Ratchet, Berri, we could use that."

You nodded, pulling your bolts from your bag. You're probably gonna need to get a bigger one. Luckily, the bolts aren't too heavy. And he's only charging 500 for the Infobot. He hands over the Infobot and turns around, sprinting for the pipeline and yells, "Geronimo", like he's going down a water slide. "Did he just slide down a sewer pipe?" Ratchet asks.

"Ew." You mutter, making a disgusted face.

The Infobot splits open, and shows the image of these two green aliens, trying to keep control of their ship. At least, the one at the steering wheel is. The other one is typing away on his phone that kinda looks like your mom's Droid. "Mayday, mayday, this is the solar ship Radical. We seem to be under attack from the planet's surface."

"Relax Skidd," The one on his phone says. "It looks like some kind of fireworks display, probably in your honor." A rocket narrowly misses their ship. You…don't think fireworks could penetrate the atmosphere.

But they're not so lucky this time. Their ship is struck, and stutters, giving a violent shake. Skidd yells, and the other guy snaps, "Pipe down, I can't concentrate!"

"But we've been hit!"

The guy stutters out, "An unexpected detour. When we land, I'll see if I can scan up an exhibition for ya."

"We're not gonna live that long!" A rocket is headed straight for their ship, as in, ready to collide with the windshield.

"Skidd, let's amscray!"

"Eject! Eject!" Skidd yells, pushing a button, and you think you see them eject their ship just before the screen goes to static. The Infobot flies into Clank's compartment.

You snort. "I can't tell who's the stupid one in the relationship." You mutter.

"Did you see that guy on the left?" Ratchet asks. You nod. "That was Skidd McMarx."

"Who?" You ask.

"Does he know Captain Qwark?" Clank asks.

Ratchet shakes his head. "I doubt it. He's a Pro Hoverboarder-always going off about how cool he is. You've never heard of him, Berri?"

You shake your head. "No, see, we don't have hoverboarding where I come from. We've got what we call skateboarding. Your Skid McMarx is my Tony Hawk. He's the most famous skateboarder in the world." He was actually the reason why you learned how to skateboard in the first place.

"It looks like Skidd is in trouble." Clank says.

Ratchet grins. "I'll say! I've never seen him look so freaked out."

You chuckle and nod. "The coordinates said the planet was Aridia. Yay, desert planet." You take out your mirror, and it's even worse. You look like you rubbed cotton candy on your eyes. Not much point in redoing your makeup, since it's probably going to melt off anyway. And it looks like the only way out of here is down that sewer pipe. Wonderful. Yeah, it's been a fun day so far. It actually isn't that bad; it's almost like the slides at Lake Compounce. That place was fun. The pipe takes you out the entrance, which kinda sucks, because that means if you had just taken a different route, you would've been off this planet by now.

"We need to find a ship." You mutter. Only naturally, more robots are waiting for you. You need to find something to defend yourself with-you would just attack them, but you run the risk of breaking your hand. You follow Ratchet up the path, and through a door, after taking out the guard. You get to the bridge, just in time to see somebody blown three huge holes in it. Debris falls to the ground, and the crash shakes the building. "Yikes," You mutter. The jet flies over the bridge, and three more robots land.

After Ratchet takes them out, you proceed to an open field. Good thing no one from school can see this; they would be giving you shit for letting a guy do all of the fighting, when you're always going on about how females are superior to males. Well, you'll scatter metal when you get ahold of a weapon. A drop ship and three more robots come down to greet you. You sigh. This is getting really old, really fast.

After the robots have been turned to scrap metal, an old man with a cane dressed in brown and beige comes walking down the platform. He's got a black mustache, he's bald, and he's also got an Infobot with him. "Don't hurt me, don't hurt me. What are you?" You, Ratchet, and Clank just stare at with wide eyes, like he's grown a second head. "Mercenaries? Torturers? Assassins? I'll tell you anything! Here, take my Infobot, it's all I've got left!"

"Sir, we're not assi-" Clank starts to try and explain what you're really doing here, but Ratchet cuts him off.

"Hold on! Let's see what he's got." You just snort in response.

The image is of Qwark, up against a ledge with some hideous monster. He points his weapon at it, but it doesn't seem to be working. The picture freezes. "Has this ever happened to you?" The image turns to Qwark, standing outside of a building with a robot on the roof that's holding up a wrench. "I'm Captain Qwark, and believe me, there's nothing worse than staring down a Blargian Snagglebeast from the inside and knowing your equipment isn't functioning properly. That's why I come to Al's Robbo Shack-" LOL, Radio Shock joke. "-For all of my electronic needs!" Al's the big (as in, big belly) yellow guy dressed in a labcoat and a green shirt behind the counter. "Al has been my exclusive repair shop for my super-electro gadgets since I was knee-high to a sandmouse. If Al can't fix it, it's not broke. Right, Al?" The camera focuses on Al, who just stutters an "uh". "You said it, pal! So if you're fighting crime, or just fighting grime, come to Al's Robbo Shack in Metropolis for all of your robotic repairs. Al's Robbo Shack! It's Qwark-tastic!"

"Do you know what this means?" Clank asks as the Infobot shrinks itself.

Ratchet smiles and shakes his head. "Yeah, Captain Qwark has really sold out." You chuckle in response. Qwark seems like a total tool.

Clank shakes his head. "No, it means Captain Qwark is on Metropolis! We could tell him about this invasion…"

"If we had a ship." Ratchet says.

The old man has just been spacing all this time, and now, he finally chooses to speak. "Huh? A ship? You're not going to torture me?"

You chuckle. "I dunno, maybe."

He looks a bit afraid, but turns to the ship up on the hill over there. "Well, as planetary chairman I could arrange for you to burrow our courier ship."

"Cool!" Ratchet grins.

"You can count on us, sir."

"Right." Ratchet drags out the word. "Thank you…your…chairmanshipliness." Wow, good job, Ratchet.

You take the bridge, and then the elevator platform. You take out your iPod. You don't want to ruin your record of listening to music every single day for the past three years. Once you reach the ship, the three of you climb in, and you examine the planets you've found so far. "So, we've got Kerwan, Aridia, and Novalis. We need to head to Kerwan if we're gonna catch up to Qwark." You say, scrolling through your songs.

"But we should find out if Skidd and his agent are okay." Clank says. You and Ratchet nod. Qwark will hopefully still be there when you're done at Aridia. You sit back as the engine roars to life, and you take off. Man, your battery is half-way done. You need to find a charger. Maybe you can get one at Al's Robbo Shack.

In the night, I hear 'em talk

The coldest story ever told

Somewhere far along this road he lost his soul

To a woman so heartless.

How could you be so heartless?

How could you be so heartless?

How could you be so cold?

As the winter wind when it breeze, yo.

Just remember that you talkin' to me, though.

You need to watch the way you talkin' to me though.

I mean, after all the things that we've been through.

I mean, after all the things we got into.

Hey yo, I know of some things that you ain't told me.

Hey yo, I did some things but that's the old me.

And now you wanna get me back, and you gon' show me.

So you walk around like you don't know me

You got a new friend?

Well, I got homies.

But in the end, it's still so lonely.

In the night I hear 'em talk,

The coldest story ever told

Somewhere far along this road, he lost his soul

To a woman so heartless.

How could you be so heartless?

How could you be so heartless?

How could be so Dr. Evil?

You're bringin' out a side of me that I don't know.

I decided we wasn't goin' speak so,

Why we up 3 a.m. on the phone?

Why does she be so mad at me for?

Homie, I don't know, she's hot and cold.

I won't stop, won't mess my groove up,

'Cause I already know how this thing go.

You run and tell your friends that you're leavin' me.

They say that they don't see what you see in me.

You wait a couple months then you gon' see,

You'll never find nobody better than me.

In the night I hear 'em talk,

The coldest story ever told

Somewhere far along this road he lost his soul

To a woman so heartless.

How could you be so heartless?

How could you be so heartless?

Talkin', talkin', talkin' talk.

Baby let's just knock it off.

They don't know what we been through.

They don't know 'bout me and you.

So I got somethin' new to see,

And you just gon' keep hatin' me,

And we just gon' be enemies.

I know you can't believe

I could just leave it wrong,

And you can't make it right.

I'm gon' take off tonight,

Into the night.

In the night I hear 'em talk,

The coldest story ever told

Somewhere far along this road he lost his soul

To a woman so heartless.

How could you be so heartless?

How could you be so heartless?

Arriving on the planet, it's not a pretty sight. Defiantly not what you thought it would be. It's sandy, but it's rather dark, and it's not very hot or cold. So you're walking around looking like something out of the Candy Kingdom for no reason. Oh well. You'll fix your makeup once you get back on the ship.

You turn the corner, and you find some dude near a busted ship. "It's him!" Ratchet says, as the three of you walk up to him. "Skidd McMarx!"

"In the flesh, little dude." Skidd smiles. Wow, he dresses like he's a surfer from the 70s, with his sandals and his tie-dye shirt. "You guy get a load of the epic space battle I was in?"

You scoff. "Epic? Definitely not the word I'd use to describe it."

Ratchet nodded. "We saw you-screaming for help."

Skidd doesn't some to know how to explain that. "Um…that was like a war cry." Oh, the bullshit meter is way up there now. "My agent and I got ambushed on the way to hoverboard practice."

"Did he survive the crash, sir?" Clank asks.

Skidd shrugs him off. "Ah, he's okay. But, I've had a little trouble getting back to my ship…due to my sprained ankle." You see a little red monster thing run past you.

Ratchet rolls his eyes. "Oh, come on."

"I can't believe you expect us to buy that bullshit." You growl.

Skidd shakes his head. "If you can take out all of the Sandsharks, I just might have a spare hoverboard for ya."

"We'd love to help you, Mr. McMarx-" Clank begins, but you cut him off.

"I wouldn't." You mutter.

"But Ratchet, Berri, and I need to find Captain…"

Now it's Ratchet who cuts him off. You feel bad; the two of you keep interrupting Clank. He can't even finish his sentence. "One of your boards? Hm…I always wanted a decent hoverboard. Well…alright. You just keep that foot elevated."

You roll your eyes, but laugh in response. You take a different direction than Ratchet and Clank, and since with Sandsharks, you've got no risk of injuring yourself, you can actually take care of them yourself. You don't know how many they are-were, anyway-but it doesn't take much to get rid of them. Just a few punches and kicks. You almost feel like a bully…until of the little ankle bitters…actually bites you on the ankle. You shout, and slam it into the rock. Well, it burns more than anything else. It doesn't look like it got too deep. You'll be fine.

Actually, you're limping. But it doesn't seem too noticeable.

You meet up with Ratchet, Clank, and Skidd. Skidd reaches into the crashed pod and pulls out something that looks almost exactly like a skateboard, except with any wheels, obviously. It's silver, and it…kinda looks like Roxas' skateboard. "Here man, catch!" He throws it to Ratchet, who's all too overjoyed to have it.

"A brand new Z-3000! You can't even buy these!"

You smile. "Nice." Man, your ankle burns. Little fucker, good thing you smashed it against the wall. Bastard.

Skidd turns around. "Well, I gotta bail. Catch you dudes and dudette at the hoverboard races."

You roll your eyes before you, Ratchet, and Clank through the wreckage.

Bad part is, if the injury hurts, you're not unconscious.

What the f-

Ratchet's POV:

You know, Berri's kinda hot. Most girls never talk to you, but she seemed pretty relaxed. And she can move. She's definitely brave. She and Clank are…different. You've never actually had a friend before. You wonder what their lives are like. Berri hasn't actually said anything about herself, and…is she limping?

Clank was thinking the same thing. "Berri, what happened to your leg?"

She looks down at her ankle-she knows exactly what he's talking about-and mutters, "Damn."

Your POV:

Shit. It must've been more obvious than you thought. "Sandshark bit me." You explain. "It's no big deal. A little bit of nanotech, and I'll be fine." It's really more irritating than anything else. "Besides, we gotta find that agent guy and then get to Kerwan."

Proceeding, you fortunately find some nanotech, and it…feels like ice going into your veins, but it fully heels the wound, and it doesn't even leave a scar, thank God.

Good thing the wound's healed, because you need full use of your legs for the firestarters, these robots that use fire as a weapon…oh, if they burn your clothes, they are gonna face hell. First of all, this is your favorite of your favorite band; second of all, it'd be like impossible to replace it around here, unless there's a Hot Topic on Kerwan.

Finding the agent guy is total hell. Robots, pipes, climbing, and always run the risk of snapping your heel. You need to hurry up and fix your makeup; nobody likes cotton candy eyes; your eyes are like sticking, which makes just blinking uncomfortable.

You're…kind of homesick. You really miss your parents. Even if you are unconscious and in a dream, it's still so lifelike. You still can't talk to them. And you miss your friends. Jenna, Kaitlyn, and Linda must be worried sick. Even if you are the bitch girls, you still care about each other. You've been friends all your lives…you don't know what you'd do without them, especially Linda. Who knows what would've happened if she and Luke hadn't been there when Caspian tried to drug you. They don't violence against their friends very well.

You're zoning out, you need to focus.

You finally find the agent, but it doesn't look too happy to see you. He gives a shout of frustration. "No signal whatsoever! This downtime is killing me!"

"Do you need medical attention, sir?" Clank obviously doesn't get it. Well, technically, he's only like…yeah, a few hours old, so he probably wouldn't, robot or not.

The agent points his finger at Clank. "Don't be so literal, son. The problem is I'm stranded on this backwater planet and my star client is nowhere to be found."

Realization comes to Ratchet's face. "Hey," He says, dragging out the word. "We saw you on that infobot. You're Skidd's agent!"

"Was Skidd's agent," The man corrects. "Haven't seen him since our ship crashed, and an agent without a client is like a flea without a dog." Ew, you hate fleas, they're so gross and ugly. "Say, you look like a couple of athletic kids. If you can bring back the Championship prize from the hoverboard races in Blackwater City, I'll make you both my next stars." Your mom warned you about guys like this; no wonder he captured agents to fleas. They're both bloodsuckers.

Clank shakes his head. "We have no time for trivial matters, sir."

Ratchet smiles. "I could be the next Skidd McMarx!"

"The truest characters of ignorance are vanity, and pride and arrogance."

-Samuel Butler

You roll your eyes. You were already a celebrity. And besides, you're not that athletic, just had nine of gymnastics, bitch!

…Yeah, you miss TV too. And you're gonna miss the season finale of Once Upon A Time! You have to know what happened to Henry! Fuck! No more drinking and drugs before Sunday night!

The three of you use the teleporter thingy to get back to your ship (which is fucking scary, because it's darker than when you close your eyes and you're moving underground which starts a feeling in your stomach), and you realize that your iPod is almost dead. Well, maybe you'll be able to find a charger on Kerwan or in Blackwater City or something…but you just hope you can find one soon. You need your music!

That guy at the Robboshack should have something.

Yeah, that's another update! Sorry this took me so long. Three of my teachers have already dumped final stuff on us. ;; Oh well, that means the year is almost over! I can go back to being nocturnal! I can stay up all night and drink Monster and avoid the sun and play video games until my eyes pop out of my skull. Yeah. And I'll be able to update more, because I won't have any homework. Just a month and a half to go.

And yes, I love Once Upon A Time.