Chapter 2: Arguments and Consideration
I crashed into a wall, falling with a thud. We were losing.
But how? We started off well enough, avoiding each of Kanda's attacks, although we didn't land any of our own. Oh, right, I remember now. Allen just had to bump into me at a crucial moment. I had seen an opening and was about to strike, but then the stupid white-haired boy suddenly appeared in front of me and BOOM! We crashed into each other and gave Kanda his chance to attack. Thus, we were put into this situation.
No longer wasting time looking for another opening, I charged at full-speed towards Kanda—maybe I would actually hit him this time. He dodged easily, causing me to fly past him and nearly crash into the wall again. I turned around to attack once more, at the exact moment that Allen did, and again, I collided with his attack; this time he was using his Crown Belt. I became entangled in it and thrashed around, trying to set myself free. Before I could, I saw Kanda looming over me and suddenly felt the pressure of his foot against my throat, enough to make it uncomfortable but not so much that it hurt. I glanced over to Allen to see how he was faring and saw Mugen pointed a hair's width away from his throat.
"You lose," Kanda said, sneering at us. I glared at him with as much strength as I could muster, but that didn't change the result of the battle—we lost.
It was all Allen's fault that that we lost so quickly. I already knew that our chances of winning were slim, but the fact that we lost in a matter of minutes without even landing a single hit made my temper rise alarmingly fast. I involuntarily let out a small growl as a thought came to mind. If Allen hadn't gotten in the way, I might've been able to get him at least once. Just once would have been fine and my growl grew slightly louder.
Ignoring me, he released us and slowly walked towards Lavi with a murderous gleam in his eyes, leaving us to the task of untangling ourselves. Lavi slowly backed away, the expression on his face showing more and more fear with every step back.
"W-wait, can't we figure something out?" he said nervously, "I'm pretty sure there's another way we can sort this out. You know, a s-slightly less harmful w-way?" He stammered at the end of his sentence as Kanda approached him. Suddenly running, Lavi sprinted towards the building with Kanda hot on his heels. I could hear Lavi screaming from somewhere inside as his pursuer caught up with him.
After we finally untangled ourselves, Allen and I glared at each other. "This is all your fault," I grumbled, still angry at our pathetic loss, "If you hadn't bumped into me, we might've had a chance of winning."
"I thought you didn't care if we won or not," he retorted, "And if you hadn't crashed into Crown Clown, I might've been able to get him."
"Ha! I crashed into Crown Clown?" I gave a little laugh, then came closer and grabbed his collar, "It was you who got in the way! If you hadn't crashed into me, then I would have definitely landed a hit."
Allen was not amused. With his face just inches away from mine, I couldn't help but notice the tired lines on his face even though he was only 15. For an instant, I regretted my harsh words, realizing how pointless this would seem compared to his other troubles, but my pride soon took over.
We continued glaring at each other until Allen pushed me away, causing me to release my grip. "This is pointless. Why does it even matter anymore?" There wasn't as much energy in his voice as there was a moment ago. "We lost already. There's no point in arguing now since it's not going to change anything." He seemed to deflate a bit, suddenly looking very defeated.
I stepped back, surprised by this sudden lack of willpower. He seemed different from the Allen I had known and heard about for the past few months. Unmoving from where I stood, I tried to understand this change of attitude and couldn't come up with a reasonable explanation.
He brushed past me as he went back into the building, leaving me alone on the field. I slumped onto my knees with a huge sigh. Anger and frustration built up inside me and when I couldn't contain it anymore, I took it out on the poor blades of grass in front of me. By the end of it, my face and eyes were red, while shreds of grass were stuck in my, now dirty, clothing and all over my silver-gray hair. To a random passerby, I probably looked like a savage beast with crazy, wild eyes.
Slowly, I stood up and dragged my feet back to my room. Being the somewhat observant person that I was, I noticed the stares and frightened looks that many people gave me, as well as the sudden silence as I walked down the corridor. They were already wary of me when I first became an exorcist—my current appearance didn't help much—not that it mattered anyway.
I slumped down onto my bed and sat there by myself for, what felt like, several hours, skipping dinner. Although I was hungry, I didn't want to face Allen yet. I still needed some more time to calm down. I sighed and lay down on the bed, staring at the ceiling, with no idea what to do. There was a soft knock on the door and I quietly got up to answer it. As I opened it, I saw Lenalee barely managing to carry a humungous plate covered in food. My stomach growled as I realized just how hungry I really was.
"Hi, Mist," she greeted me, "I didn't see you in the cafeteria and I thought you'd be hungry." She handed the plate over to me and I dug into the food as soon as it was in my hands. In a few minutes the plate was completely bare; there wasn't even a scrap of food left on it. "I guess you really were hungry," she said in awe, probably because I could eat nearly as much and as fast as Allen. Usually, I took my time to eat, so I didn't blame her for looking so surprised.
I smiled at her reaction and thanked her for the food admitting the fact that I was actually really hungry. Lenalee looked at me questionably and asked me the one question I really didn't feel like answering at the moment. "If you really were that hungry, then why didn't you come down and eat?"
I froze. I couldn't tell her that it was because I didn't want to see Allen. If I did, that would lead to a lot of explaining, which would probably then lead to a lecture. I hated lectures. They were my worst enemy, even worse than akuma. I didn't need to tell her anything though; she already knew.
She sighed and sat down beside me. "It's because of Allen, isn't it? He told me that you two had an argument." I looked down at my feet in shame. I guess I was going to get my lecture anyway.
"It was a pointless argument," I mumbled. "When we were training together, he accidentally cut me," I blurted out. I didn't mean to say anything, but since I started, I ended up explaining everything to her. "For some reason, I got really angry and snapped at him. We had an argument, and when we fought Kanda we lost badly. Losing didn't really help us since it just gave us more reasons to continue the argument. I got even angrier." I paused for a moment. "We would've kept arguing if he hadn't decided that enough was enough."
Lenalee nodded in understanding. I looked up and sighed as I finally realized how stupid I was. "I guess I shouldn't have blamed it all on Allen. Most of it was probably my fault."
Lenalee smiled, "Don't worry, it's probably not completely your fault. I know Allen can be a jerk sometimes." I grinned, knowing that there was at least one person on my side.
She continued, changing the subject, "You know, I've noticed something a bit different about you lately."
"What? The fact that there's grass all over my hair?" I said jokingly. I'd forgotten to wash it out of my hair and there were still little pieces sticking out in random places. Mentally, I made a note to myself to take a shower sometime after Lenalee left.
She laughed, "Well, that's also true, even if it wasn't what I was talking about. I meant your personality. I think you've become more... considerate?"
I was taken aback by her statement. Me? Considerate? In the same sentence without a negative? Impossible. I was as far from considerate as anyone could be. The only reason I destroyed akuma was because I liked destroying things in general and it was also a way for me to release my pent-up energy. Also, I didn't really think of other people's feelings unless the situation demanded it. I was always alone in the past, so I never really had to. Therefore, I had absolutely no idea why Lenalee just called me considerate.
"W-what makes you say that?" I asked, still startled by the unexpected comment, "I mean, there's nothing about me that you could call 'considerate', except for maybe finishing someone else's food for them when they're too full."
"I'm pretty sure there's something other than that," she said reassuringly, "but what I meant was that you're starting to put other people's thoughts into consideration. Don't misunderstand; I didn't say that you were completely ignorant of what other people thought before." She added the last part quickly before I started complaining. "I'm just saying that you're becoming more used to the people around you and that you're starting to understand them."
"Understand them, huh?" I repeated, "I don't have the foggiest idea of what goes through that Bean Sprout's head, let alone anyone else's." I paused, thinking about something. "You still didn't answer my question properly. What exactly gave you the idea that I was considerate?"
She thought about it for a moment. "Before, you would've kept all the blame on Allen without a second thought, but now you're putting some of the blame on yourself. Actually, now that I think about it, I don't think considerate was the right word to describe it with."
"Of course it isn't. If I was considerate, the world would end any moment now." I chuckled a bit after my little joke.
Lenalee laughed along with me. "You're right. Maybe I should be glad that you aren't."
We continued laughing, our worries forgotten for the moment. I couldn't remember the last time I laughed so openly and I wondered if I would again anytime soon. Last time I did this was either so long ago that I had completely forgotten, or it never happened in the first place. Either way, I didn't have any memory of anything like this.
Speaking of memories, I could actually only remember up until a certain point. If I ever tried to remember any further into the past, I would be met with a vast emptiness that gave me a very strange feeling of fear and dread. I couldn't explain it at all, so I usually tried not to think about it at all.
"Feeling better now?" I snapped out of my thoughts and smiled in response to cover up my inattentiveness.
"Yeah, thanks Lenalee," I said, surprised at the fact that I actually did feel better.
She got up and stretched. "Mist, if any other jerk or idiot tries to bother you, you can always come to me. I'll make sure that they get a good beating," she added, smirking deviously. She exited the room with the plate in hand, but before she closed the door behind her, she told me one last thing, "As much of an idiot that Allen can be, you should still apologize to him."
Alone once again in my room, I thought about Lenalee's words. I guessed I should apologize to him. Like I said to Lenalee earlier, some of it was my fault. Then again, that would mean the rest of it was Allen's fault. I pondered about it for a while.
Should I apologize or not? I had an internal battle with myself for the next half hour or so. Every time I felt certain with one decision, I would find something that benefited the other. In the end, I decided that I would talk to him in the morning. If I felt like saying sorry, then I would. If I didn't, well too bad for him.
But just in case I was in a good mood the next morning, I spent the night trying to come up with some kind of apology to tell him tomorrow.
Finally, another chapter =.= I've been really lazy, but I finally managed to type it up and post it! Hopefully I can get Chapter 3 up soon too.
I managed to get this chapter a bit over 2000 words, so I'm proud of myself (even if it's still too little). :D
And if anyone knows the difference between 'lay' and 'lie' it would be appreciated if you could clarify it for me. Thanks.
To end this, as usual, please read and review!
