The following story is brought to you by Lil' DeiDei. Kishimoto Masashi owns Naruto, but Dei-chan owns her ideas.
Thanks to KillerMay for the prompt. If anyone has a suggestion for the next topic, let me know! I might just do another compilation of oddness. XD
Hair of the Ninja
"Senpai, how do you think he gets his to stick up like that?" Tobi asked, staring in awe at the man revealed before them.
"I have no clue, un. Now shut up and kill him."
"I think he's killing me," Tobi breathed.
"Um, are we going to fight or do you guys need a moment to discuss my hair?" Kakashi asked.
"Wow! I had no idea it came in that color! Do you think it's just as effective? Because it's not even sticking up right."
"…Effective for what? It's hair, un."
"Ugh, I can't reach, and it's just causing me so much discomfort, un."
"I'll cause you discomfort! I mean, I'll get it for you. Right… there?"
"Yeaaah, thanks. That feels good, un."
"No problem, Senpai. Glad I could relieve it for you."
"Yeah, un. Thanks for washing my hair. I just can't reach the ends, un…"
The sun was out, and the birds were chirping, but all was not what it seemed.
"OH MY GOD, IT'S COMPLETELY UPRIGHT! THAT'S UNNATURAL, UN!"
"Don't worry, Senpai," a voice replied calmly. "It'll all be okay if you just let me handle it."
"STAY AWAY!"
"You have to let me stroke it to get it down!"
Deidara paused. "That sounds wrong, un."
Tobi grinned. "I know, Senpai, I know." Then he brushed Deidara's hair.
"Ewwww, slimey! That's icky, Senpai!"
"I know, he's just not showing the proper treatment of such an important thing," Deidara answered, swishing his head.
"I don't care about hair. I just want your bodies!"
"Please shut up, un."
"Where is Itachi-kun?"
"He's in the bathroom!"
"Tobi. Don't tell the pervert that, un. Look at him!"
"Ewwwww. Orochimaru-chan, you're a pervert. Itachi is only washing his hands. He took a poopie."
Orochimaru's face twisted in disgust. "I'll go find Sasuke-kun now…"
"I think it resembles a pineapple."
"Hmm, un. Either that, or a weird tree."
"In any case, no one's 'bush' should look like that. Teehee!"
"It's my hair. Are we gonna fight now or what, cause I'm getting hot in the sun."
"I'll make you hot in the sun!" Tobi screeched, leaping forward.
"This organization is not normal. I just overheard Tobi and Deidara talking, and they're discussing whether or not Sasori had a penis!"
"Kisame. Don't be ridiculous."
"Seriously, Itachi! Tobi was all, 'It must have been stiff and wooden, but I saw it when it was breezey.' Then Deidara said, 'It was floppy most of the time. I guess the atmosphere just stimulated it. Un.'"
"Stop giving me a pointed look. They could have been referring to anything."
"Well, Sasori wasn't wearing his cloak when they found his body. The girl clearly got him to reveal a lot, if you know what I mean."
"I'm telling you, Tobi, un, his hair was floppy, not stiff. It wasn't made of wood, un."
Kisame blinked. "His hair?"
"What else would we have been discussing, Fishy-chan? Puppets don't have penises."
"It's peni, un."
NOTE: Not quite ten, but I can't talk much more about ninja hair. This was hard enough to write as it is! And, please let me know your favorite/least favorite segment! Thanks! =) Btw, this hasn't arisen (hehe), but if anyone wants to take one of these scenarios and expand it into a full story or even a one-shot, that would be really cool! Just let me know you're doing it so I can read it and tell everyone how awesome you are. XP
