ESCAPADES
**** Merry and Pippin were descending from the spot where they had just finished up their prank on young Samwise. Pippin had his hands jammed into his pockets and he was walking with a swinging gait. Merry had one hand in his pocket and the other held an apple, which he had salvaged from the bunch that they had dumped. He was munching contently and walking with the same gait as his friend. They were stopped suddenly by the hobbit mayor approaching, with Sam at his heels.
Merry stopped in mid-munch, causing a wad of chewed apple to stuff itself into one of his cheeks. "Uh-oh," he mumbled.
Pippin sighed. "Well, here we go, on the count of three!"
"Meriadoc! Peregrin!" the mayor roared.
"Three!" Pippin squealed and he and Merry bolted off, leaving a startled Sam and a still-angry hobbit mayor.
They were running as fast as they could down the road, glancing over their shoulders to make sure that they weren't being followed. They were. Sam was running after them, slowly gaining.
"Merry!" Pippin shouted. "We have a situation!"
Merry looked over his shoulder and gave a moan of dismay. "Okay, so we need a plan!" he said panic.
"Okay! I realize that!" Pippin shouted back. He racked his brain.
"I got Merry!" he shouted. "Follow me!"
Pippin bolted to the right and headed towards the sheep pen. "Sheep!" Merry exclaimed. "What are we going to do with sheep, Pippin? Ride them?"
Pippin took a leap and landed on one of the sheep. "Yeah! Basically!"
Merry gave a huff and jumped onto another sheep.
The sheep took off, terrified. Only too late did Merry and Pippin realize that sheep, not to mention scared sheep, were not the easiest creatures to control. The sheep took off and were running full out. All Merry and Pippin could do was hang on for dear life.
The sheep turned and started running through yards. Pippin's sheep ran under a clothes line, causing a sheet to completely cover Pippin. After running through that yard, the sheep decided to run through the market- place.
Through the market place came a speeding sheep, with a figure with a streaming sheet on it, bouncing on its back. Hobbits were screaming and running for protection from whatever madman was riding a viscious sheep through a peaceful marketplace.
Suddenly, another madman, with mud splattered all over him and rididng an equally muddy sheep, came speeding down the other way.
Both sheep were knocking over vegetable and fruit stands and making a huge mess of the Hobbiton market place. After a short while, Merry's sheep tripped and sent Merry tumbling over its head. Pippin's sheep swerved to avoid falling over Merry's fallen sheep, and sent the white sheet that was Pippin flying off, landing right next to Merry.
Merry looked at Pippin and snatched the white sheet off of his friend's head. Pippin shook his head and looked at Merry, who was wiping mud from his eyes.
"Yeah! Let's ride sheep!" Merry mimicked Pippin's suggestion and swatted him with the back of his hand. "You are so unbelievable!"
"Hey!" Pippin exclaimed, hitting Merry back. "You didn't have to listen to me!"
Merry shoved Pippin over. "You made me!" he accused. Pippin shoved him back. "I did not!" he responded.
"What happened here!" a voice rang out.
Pippin and Merry froze. The sighed and looked up at the mayor who was standing above them.
"You two are in so much trouble!" he shouted.
Merry and Pippin lowered their heads, not feeling too great about themselves. They didn't especially want to destroy the whole market-place. They were in for it and they knew it.
****
That night, Merry and Pippin found themselves in a sort of council. The Hobbiton mayor was sitting in a chair in front of them. They were on their knees, sitting back on their feet. The two almost couldn't believe how many hobbits had shown up. There were dozens and dozens upon dozens of the wooly-footed creatures cramped into the barn. None of them looked like they were pro-Merry and Pippin, instead, they all had glaring and grim expressions. The mayor rose and held up his hands, signaling for quiet. The crowd hushed the clamor and turned their eyes towards the mayor.
"Meriadoc Brandybuck and Peregrin Took!" he began. "You have both been accused of disturbing the peace on many occasions. These occasions include the following: stealing vegetables from nearby neighbors, disrupting the peace by terrorizing hobbits on a count of four separate instances not including today or yesterday, destroying tables in the Green Dragon, purloining ale, and last in my memory, but probably the strongest, kidnapping young Frodo Baggins and dumping him in a near-by hidden stream where he remained for three days before he was recovered. Though, this is the first incident in which we have decided to make a move to put a stop to these schemes!"
This brought shouts of "ho", "he", and "yeah" from the audience. "What do you have to say for yourselves?" the mayor asked sternly.
Pippin and Merry tried to shrink as small as they felt at the moment. They had never been in any real trouble and were trying to figure out how to deal with it.
"Well, sir," Pippin said weakly. "The stealing of the vegetables is cause to mid-day hunger that needs to be satisfied."
"The tables in the Green Dragon were all accidents," Merry continued.
"And terrorizing is such a strong word for the other four separate occasions," Pippin pointed out. "We were just having a bit of fun. And Mr. Boffin had no serious and irreparable damage."
The mayor folded his arms and glared. "And what of young Frodo?" Pippin and Merry cast glances at eachother.
"Prank?" Merry shrugged.
"Yeah, and you all have to admit that it was awfully scientific of how blue he turned. It was a turning point in science," Pippin offered. "Besides, Frodo was never in any real danger. We looked after him. He was fed and watered. And he did forgive us!"
The mayor sighed. "Is there anything else you would like to say?"
Merry looked over at Pippin, who nodded in agreement at Merry's silent inquiry. Merry turned to look at the mayor. "Well sir, " he began in a respectful voice. "We would feel very much better if you would allow us to make it up to you by offering to scrub out the Green Dragon every night!"
Pippin nodded for emphasis. "Please!" he begged. "Let us show you how truly sorry we are!"
The mayor eyed them suspiciously, then relented. "Fine! You will both clean and scrub the Green Dragon everynight for three weeks! I think that that will be a sufficient enough punishment!"
More cheers from the crowd.
"You are both dismissed now," the mayor said with a wave of his hand. Then he adressed the crowd, "You are all dismissed as well!"
The crowd dispersed and Merry and Pippin stood up so that they could leave and were approached by another young hobbit.
"You two are so lucky!" he laughed. "I cannot believe that the mayor actually allowed you both to scrub the Green Dragon! I mean, he hasn't figured out that you sneak the ale from there too?"
"Ssshhh!" Pippin waved his hands wildly. "Don't let him hear you!"
"All I'm saying is that that was quite a show that you two put on back there!" the new young hobbit said, shoving his hands in his pockets.
"Thank you Frodo!" Merry said. "See! We have talents! May be not quite the same talents that you and old Bilbo have, but we have talents nonetheless!"
"Yeah," Frodo said solemnly. "I mean, it was just so touching," he said in a choked voice, pretending to wipe away a tear from his eye. "I especially liked that part about how blue I turned being a scientific turning point. Wow, did I ever resemble a blueberry. I still feel bad about you two getting in trouble over it. Ah well, instead of all three of us claiming discovery like we planned, I guess it'll all just go to you two."
Pippin and Merry laughed, and Frodo joined in. Frodo clapped Merry on the back. "Well, if you must toil and drink through the night, I might as well help you drink!" He and his friends walked down to the inn.
****
**** Merry and Pippin were descending from the spot where they had just finished up their prank on young Samwise. Pippin had his hands jammed into his pockets and he was walking with a swinging gait. Merry had one hand in his pocket and the other held an apple, which he had salvaged from the bunch that they had dumped. He was munching contently and walking with the same gait as his friend. They were stopped suddenly by the hobbit mayor approaching, with Sam at his heels.
Merry stopped in mid-munch, causing a wad of chewed apple to stuff itself into one of his cheeks. "Uh-oh," he mumbled.
Pippin sighed. "Well, here we go, on the count of three!"
"Meriadoc! Peregrin!" the mayor roared.
"Three!" Pippin squealed and he and Merry bolted off, leaving a startled Sam and a still-angry hobbit mayor.
They were running as fast as they could down the road, glancing over their shoulders to make sure that they weren't being followed. They were. Sam was running after them, slowly gaining.
"Merry!" Pippin shouted. "We have a situation!"
Merry looked over his shoulder and gave a moan of dismay. "Okay, so we need a plan!" he said panic.
"Okay! I realize that!" Pippin shouted back. He racked his brain.
"I got Merry!" he shouted. "Follow me!"
Pippin bolted to the right and headed towards the sheep pen. "Sheep!" Merry exclaimed. "What are we going to do with sheep, Pippin? Ride them?"
Pippin took a leap and landed on one of the sheep. "Yeah! Basically!"
Merry gave a huff and jumped onto another sheep.
The sheep took off, terrified. Only too late did Merry and Pippin realize that sheep, not to mention scared sheep, were not the easiest creatures to control. The sheep took off and were running full out. All Merry and Pippin could do was hang on for dear life.
The sheep turned and started running through yards. Pippin's sheep ran under a clothes line, causing a sheet to completely cover Pippin. After running through that yard, the sheep decided to run through the market- place.
Through the market place came a speeding sheep, with a figure with a streaming sheet on it, bouncing on its back. Hobbits were screaming and running for protection from whatever madman was riding a viscious sheep through a peaceful marketplace.
Suddenly, another madman, with mud splattered all over him and rididng an equally muddy sheep, came speeding down the other way.
Both sheep were knocking over vegetable and fruit stands and making a huge mess of the Hobbiton market place. After a short while, Merry's sheep tripped and sent Merry tumbling over its head. Pippin's sheep swerved to avoid falling over Merry's fallen sheep, and sent the white sheet that was Pippin flying off, landing right next to Merry.
Merry looked at Pippin and snatched the white sheet off of his friend's head. Pippin shook his head and looked at Merry, who was wiping mud from his eyes.
"Yeah! Let's ride sheep!" Merry mimicked Pippin's suggestion and swatted him with the back of his hand. "You are so unbelievable!"
"Hey!" Pippin exclaimed, hitting Merry back. "You didn't have to listen to me!"
Merry shoved Pippin over. "You made me!" he accused. Pippin shoved him back. "I did not!" he responded.
"What happened here!" a voice rang out.
Pippin and Merry froze. The sighed and looked up at the mayor who was standing above them.
"You two are in so much trouble!" he shouted.
Merry and Pippin lowered their heads, not feeling too great about themselves. They didn't especially want to destroy the whole market-place. They were in for it and they knew it.
****
That night, Merry and Pippin found themselves in a sort of council. The Hobbiton mayor was sitting in a chair in front of them. They were on their knees, sitting back on their feet. The two almost couldn't believe how many hobbits had shown up. There were dozens and dozens upon dozens of the wooly-footed creatures cramped into the barn. None of them looked like they were pro-Merry and Pippin, instead, they all had glaring and grim expressions. The mayor rose and held up his hands, signaling for quiet. The crowd hushed the clamor and turned their eyes towards the mayor.
"Meriadoc Brandybuck and Peregrin Took!" he began. "You have both been accused of disturbing the peace on many occasions. These occasions include the following: stealing vegetables from nearby neighbors, disrupting the peace by terrorizing hobbits on a count of four separate instances not including today or yesterday, destroying tables in the Green Dragon, purloining ale, and last in my memory, but probably the strongest, kidnapping young Frodo Baggins and dumping him in a near-by hidden stream where he remained for three days before he was recovered. Though, this is the first incident in which we have decided to make a move to put a stop to these schemes!"
This brought shouts of "ho", "he", and "yeah" from the audience. "What do you have to say for yourselves?" the mayor asked sternly.
Pippin and Merry tried to shrink as small as they felt at the moment. They had never been in any real trouble and were trying to figure out how to deal with it.
"Well, sir," Pippin said weakly. "The stealing of the vegetables is cause to mid-day hunger that needs to be satisfied."
"The tables in the Green Dragon were all accidents," Merry continued.
"And terrorizing is such a strong word for the other four separate occasions," Pippin pointed out. "We were just having a bit of fun. And Mr. Boffin had no serious and irreparable damage."
The mayor folded his arms and glared. "And what of young Frodo?" Pippin and Merry cast glances at eachother.
"Prank?" Merry shrugged.
"Yeah, and you all have to admit that it was awfully scientific of how blue he turned. It was a turning point in science," Pippin offered. "Besides, Frodo was never in any real danger. We looked after him. He was fed and watered. And he did forgive us!"
The mayor sighed. "Is there anything else you would like to say?"
Merry looked over at Pippin, who nodded in agreement at Merry's silent inquiry. Merry turned to look at the mayor. "Well sir, " he began in a respectful voice. "We would feel very much better if you would allow us to make it up to you by offering to scrub out the Green Dragon every night!"
Pippin nodded for emphasis. "Please!" he begged. "Let us show you how truly sorry we are!"
The mayor eyed them suspiciously, then relented. "Fine! You will both clean and scrub the Green Dragon everynight for three weeks! I think that that will be a sufficient enough punishment!"
More cheers from the crowd.
"You are both dismissed now," the mayor said with a wave of his hand. Then he adressed the crowd, "You are all dismissed as well!"
The crowd dispersed and Merry and Pippin stood up so that they could leave and were approached by another young hobbit.
"You two are so lucky!" he laughed. "I cannot believe that the mayor actually allowed you both to scrub the Green Dragon! I mean, he hasn't figured out that you sneak the ale from there too?"
"Ssshhh!" Pippin waved his hands wildly. "Don't let him hear you!"
"All I'm saying is that that was quite a show that you two put on back there!" the new young hobbit said, shoving his hands in his pockets.
"Thank you Frodo!" Merry said. "See! We have talents! May be not quite the same talents that you and old Bilbo have, but we have talents nonetheless!"
"Yeah," Frodo said solemnly. "I mean, it was just so touching," he said in a choked voice, pretending to wipe away a tear from his eye. "I especially liked that part about how blue I turned being a scientific turning point. Wow, did I ever resemble a blueberry. I still feel bad about you two getting in trouble over it. Ah well, instead of all three of us claiming discovery like we planned, I guess it'll all just go to you two."
Pippin and Merry laughed, and Frodo joined in. Frodo clapped Merry on the back. "Well, if you must toil and drink through the night, I might as well help you drink!" He and his friends walked down to the inn.
****
