Hey guys! I just started school, so it might take a little longer for the next chapter (after this one, obviously) to be uploaded, but I hopefully it shouldn't be too long.
Random side note - I sent my first fan letter today. I sent it to my favorite set of youtubers, and I really, really hope they read it. Lol.
S/O to my Beta Amanda for being AWESOME and getting these to me super fast! Literally, even when she thinks it's slow, it's still fast. She's fucking awesome.
Dany: It's totally Brad's povSarah: Thank you for existing.
Every other reviewer: I FUCKING LOVE YOU ALL SERIOUSLY YOU MAKE MY LIFE BETTER I SWEAR.
Anyway, here is the next chapter!
Enjoy!
Disclaimer: I do not own TID or TMI. I think you all know that... but you know. Better safe than sorry. lol.
Brad tried to find Alec, to talk to him and explain, but Alec was nowhere to be found. Well, that's what Brad told himself. A part of Brad didn't really want to find Alec—mostly out of fear. He didn't want to lose Alec, and even if he already did, it wasn't a for sure thing yet. Alec hadn't confirmed to him that he had lost him yet; there was still hope. Maybe.
Brad couldn't help but think about when they were both fifteen, when they had first met, and Brad had seen Alec across the room at a party and—like any naive, fifteen year old kid—thought that he was the most perfect, beautiful boy he had ever seen, and he wanted him almost immediately. It was even worse once Brad got to know Alec because he became more and more beautiful in every way and it was overwhelming, honestly. There were times when Brad would look at Alec from across the lunch table, or across the soccer field, and he would just stop in his tracks, sometimes in the middle of a word, and just stare. The way Alec's eyes lit up when he talked about soccer or about his brothers or sister was breathtaking and sometimes Brad found it difficult to think when he was near him. He had always felt that way, ever since he had known Alec. He had originally thought the feeling would go away, or at least lesson to something he could handle a little better, but it hadn't. He still felt the same now as he did when he was fifteen and he just couldn't bring himself to be upset about it.
But it didn't matter anymore. All those feelings, those inklings that Alec might possibly feel the same way, had been shot to hell when Brad had kissed him like a fucking idiot. He had ruined everything and there was absolutely nothing he could do about it.
Camille had been kind, kinder than Brad thought he deserved, under the circumstances, and she had told him that he shouldn't be too hard on himself. She had said he had stopped himself from kissing Alec for three years, that he should be proud of himself for holding off that long, but he didn't know if he believed her.
Camille told Brad that he should go down to The Bat Cave for a little while and maybe find something unrelated to Alec to obsess over, but Brad didn't think that would work. Alec was the one that convinced Brad to read comics in the first place since he and Max read them, so going to The Bat Cave probably wouldn't help with the 'don't think about Alec' thing.
Camille was very convincing, so eventually Brad went, promising himself that he would be in and out fast enough that he wouldn't think of Alec, but unfortunately the universe seemed to be working against him, and he barely entered the store before Alec barreled into him, crashing onto the floor like a raving lunatic.
"Alec?" he said, his eyes wide. He hadn't expected Alec to be here, hadn't expected to see him so soon. He didn't know what to do.
"We were just going," Max said, popping out from the Star Wars aisle and yanking Alec to his feet, shoving him toward the door rather harshly. "Nice to see you, Brad."
Alec and Max stumbled out the door while Brad stared at them wordlessly, praying that this was some kind of dream. Max always talked to Brad when he ran into him. Always. There was no reason he wouldn't, unless… unless Alec told him what happened.
Brad could hear them arguing and he saw Max point back at the door, saying something that was making Alec's skin pale. Brad could see that familiar look of panic in Alec's eyes and he knew what was coming. God, he hated when Alec got like this.
So he went outside. He ignored every warning going off in his mind, begging him to stay inside and wait for them to leave, but he couldn't—not when Alec needed him.
"Are you okay, man?" he asked, approaching Max and Alec slowly, in hope of defusing the situation before it got any worse. Maybe Alec would understand. Maybe he would be able to forgive and forget and just move on. Brad hoped he could.
Alec was sitting on the bench outside hunched over the trashcan and it appeared that he had just vomited. Brad's stomach rolled and he reached out toward Alec's shoulder, only to jerk it back when Alec recoiled from him.
"He's fine," Max said. "But Brad, I don't think you being over here right now is going to help."
Brad couldn't help but feel like he was just punched in the stomach as he stared at the two of them. Alec seemed upset, not meeting his eyes, but Max just seemed… almost hostile.
"Oh, um…" he trailed off, staring at Alec intently, begging him to meet his eyes. "I didn't–I don't want to—"
"You two have been friends forever, I get that." Max said. "It was brave of you to admit what you did to Alec, and I respect that you did, but Alec is straight and it's not going to happen. So please, just be his friend right now."
"Max!" Alec said, looking frantic.
"It's okay, I get it. I should have kept my mouth shut," Brad said, turning around and heading down the street, trying to escape as quickly as he could before Alec saw through his mask of indifference.
He was right. He had ruined it. Alec didn't want to be with him, or even near him anymore. Brad had lost him.
The next morning, Camille came into Brad's room before he was out of bed to show him something—some kind of photo of a painting Clary had painted. Brad didn't really want to see it—he didn't even know Clary, so why should he care?—but Camille was insistent.
Eventually, he looked at it and he felt his jaw drop as he did.
It was a beautiful painting, first of all. Brad didn't know that anyone in this school, much less a new scholarship kid, could paint like that. The second thing he noticed was that it was a romantic painting. There were two people, two guys, it looked like, laying on the grass in the middle of the picture, all snuggled together. Brad thought one of the guys looked like Alec, a lot like Alec, but then that couldn't be true. Clary wouldn't draw Alec with some guy—he was straight… wasn't he? That was what Max had said and Alec hadn't stopped him.
"Why are you showing me this?" he asked Camille.
"Because I think you know who these two people are," she said. "And I think this is something you should see."
"But why?"
"Because if Alec is already dating another guy, then that explains everything!" she practically shouted. "That would explain all the weird behavior and why he's too stupid to pick up on your flirting."
"He's not stupid."
"Whatever. I just mean… maybe this is the explanation you need."
"The explanation I need for what?"
"To get over him," Camille finally said. "If he has a boyfriend, then you can move on. You have to, Brad."
There was a desperation in Camille's voice that made Brad feel immediately guilty. "Camille, I don't want you to feel bad for me. It isn't your responsibility to fix me."
"You're my best friend," Camille said sadly. "Of course I'm going to try."
Maybe she was right, but Brad couldn't bring himself to believe her. Alec had told him, or at least led him to believe he was straight and Brad had to give him the benefit of the doubt. Alec wouldn't lie to him, he wouldn't.
Brad left Camille and went for a walk to clear his head and sort out his priorities separate from Camille. He knew she was trying to help, but he needed to work through this on his own. He couldn't make decisions with Camille breathing down his neck.
Brad was shocked out of his thoughts when he noticed he was walking straight toward Alec, who was smiling at the boy he was walking next to, who Brad immediately recognized.
Sparkle Boy. Magnus Bane.
It was then that Brad realized something else. Magnus was the boy from the painting—the one who was cuddling up to Alec under the stars.
No. No fucking way. There was only one explanation for this, but Brad didn't want to believe it. He didn't want to believe that Alec would have lied to him. He couldn't.
"Alec?" he said once he was too close to avoid him any longer.
"Hey," Alec said. "I'm sorry about what Max said. I didn't want him to–"
"It's fine," Brad said, cutting him off and letting his eyes dart toward Magnus, forcing a smile. "It's not like he said anything I didn't already know."
"Uh, yeah…"
Brad stared at Magnus for a moment, and then at Alec, and decided that he had to do something about this. The way Magnus was looking at Brad was downright predatory, and Brad couldn't help but wonder what Magnus would say or do to him if Alec wasn't around. He seemed to be irritated with Brad's mere presence and that made Brad angry. He didn't want this boy around Alec, not at all. He was acting like… like a possessive boyfriend and it was too much for Brad to handle, so he said the first thing he could think of to get Alec away from him.
"I was wondering… do you still want to practice before the game on Tuesday? I know you feel weird about it now, but… I could really use the practice."
He hoped he was convincing.
"Of course!" Alec said too quickly. Brad couldn't help but crack a smile when Magnus looked over at Alec with a surprised look.
"Thanks, Alec," he said.
"Well, we should get going," Magnus said, giving Alec a little push. Brad felt his body fill with anger at that gesture. The fact that he had pushed Alec, despite it being a small, meaningless gesture, absolutely infuriated Brad. It was so possessive and controlling and just… wrong.
"Where are you going?" Brad asked, locking eyes with Magnus. He knew Magnus was probably taking this as a challenge, but he couldn't back down.
Magnus raised his brows at Brad, obviously not planning on telling him, and Alec remained silent, which somehow made Brad even angrier. "Whatever, don't tell me. I'll see you on Monday, Alec."
With that, Brad stormed off, deciding that if he was going to talk to Alec about this, he was going to do it on his own terms, not Sparkle Boy's. Fuck him. If he wanted to play this game, then so be it. Brad could fight for Alec—he would. Sparkle Boy wouldn't know what hit him.
Alec didn't show. Brad waited and waited for him, but he just didn't show. Brad knew before he called Alec that he would make up some excuse, try to lie his way out of it, but Alec had never been a good liar and Brad could see straight through him. He was with Sparkle Boy, that much was obvious. He had spent the night with him. God fucking dammit. Brad didn't know how to cope with this information. Alec rescheduled, but Brad had a feeling that it would never happen. He should have seen this coming. He should have known that he had to make his move sooner because now it was too late.
Brad tried to talk to Camille later that night to talk to her, to spend some time with her so he could forget about Alec Lightwood, but she wasn't in her room. When he called, she told him she was at a club with a few people and that she would be back later tonight, if he still wanted to talk. Brad knew it would be useless to talk to Camille after she got home, she would be too tired. Camille was the kind of partier that went out all the time, but rarely drank enough to get wasted. She said that girls acted stupid and sloppy when they were wasted and she didn't want to be like that. But that didn't mean she was any easier to talk to after she came home from a party. All she wanted to do was sleep and Brad knew that nothing he said would get through to her, so he went to bed and hoped that he could talk to her tomorrow.
That night, Brad dreamed of Alec Lightwood and Sparkle Boy.
He had never had a worse night of sleep in his life.
Alright guys, what do you think? Pretty please let me know in the reviews! Love you guys!
-Hannah xx
