Squall
Lunch with these people was always… loud, though that word didn't seem to give the excess of noise justice. Even with the promise of bickering left behind Zell and Selphie still found a way to rile the other up. I was beginning to regret coming when my eyes fell on the Heartily girl, her deep brown eyes taking everything in as if it was new and fascinating.
I sighed, which caught Irvine's attention. His eyes followed mine and a grin spread across his face. He ignored my warning look as he leaned closer to the girl, all the charm of a womanizer bubbling up to the surface like he had never stopped.
"So what brings you to our lovely Garden," he raised an eyebrow and studied her face.
"I'm seeking asylum," she picked her cup up and brought it to her mouth to hide the hard line of her lips. As Irvine studied her Selphie cut in, giving a look that screamed 'back off.'
"Where are you from, Rinoa?" Selphie smiled as she linked her arm with the girl's.
"Born and raised in Deling City," her smile was back up as if it had never fell, but it didn't quite reach her eyes.
"We haven't been there in a while," Zell whistled, shooting a glance to me. I remembered the trip well, though I was trying my best to forget. It had been a failure, leading to our capture and the missiles that were launched out at Garden. We had barely escaped with our lives, and it was a true feat that we managed to save Balamb Garden at all. Tribia Garden had not fared well, and a lot of people lost their lives because of our failure.
My eyes fell to my food, half eaten but unappetizing. I wanted to go to my room and sleep. I wanted to be away from the loud group of people that seemed to thrive in my company while everyone else shied away, but instead of voicing my thoughts I slumped forward, leaning my face on my hand to support my head.
Rinoa blinked in my direction and my memory stirred again, trying to recall something that was shoved in the back of my head.
"So I heard a rumor that you helped our fearless Commander out last night, I hope he wasn't too much trouble." Rinoa paled at Irvine's words, but her smile was plastered on her face once again. I wonder if he noticed? Judging by his eyes traveling all over Selphie I highly doubted it.
"Oh, he was no trouble at all," Rinoa looked down at her food, her skin losing the rosy glow painted upon it only moments ago.
"Please, tell us how you managed to bump into him. He always seems to disappear before the night really begins," Quistis was studying me as Irvine asked another question. It was almost as if this interaction was planned. They always seem to be trying to get me to open up or at least take interest in some girl or project.
Now all their attention was focused on someone else and I had to admit I felt sorry for the girl.
She seemed taken aback by the question, her mouth opening but no words ready. Finally something seemed to click behind those honey brown orbs and she gave a small, sad smile.
"He was out by the bridge leading to Esthar, looking troubled." Her eyes raised from the table to connect with my gaze and an image of that same sad smile back lit with a starry sky floated across my mind. I blinked it away. Irrelevant.
I picked up my glass and raised it to my lips, wishing it was stronger than the cider rolling down my throat.
'Do you really need more alcohol after last night,' the silky voice that seemed to be the spokesman for my inner demons forced the thought upon me, making me go still. I couldn't even remember last night, not really.
As I tried to recall it I drew a blank, making my eyes furrow in annoyance.
Rinoa mistook this scowl at myself as one directed at her and she seemed to grow paler. I didn't correct her, however, in hopes that it would keep her away from me. Those honey brown eyes kept trying to stir something inside of me and I didn't appreciate it.
"I should get going soon," she drew her tongue over her lips as if they were dry and my eyes seemed drawn to the movement. "I have lots to explore and so many things to think about."
"Squall," Quistis' voice cut through my momentary lack of thought. I turned my scowl on her, hoping it would keep whatever she was going to say in her head. Unfortunately she simply smiled as my gaze fell on her. "Why don't you give our new resident a tour."
"And none of that directory bull you pulled with Selphie," Zell grinned wide and I had to stop myself from groaning outwardly.
They always expect so much of me. Can't I just sleep?
"I don't need anything special, if you don't want to do this you can go," her voice was soft and distant as we stood at the end of the walkway to the cafeteria. I wanted to take her up on her offer, but I knew for a fact that if I did Selphie and Quistis would never allow me a day's rest. They were persistent, vexing women and I was glad Quistis' eyes had finally found her someone other than me to occupy her slight crush.
Now I was left with a choice; I could take us left, but then I would have to walk all the way back to the dorm so I might get a few more hours of sleep before someone needs something again. Or I could take us right and end the tour in front of my desired current location. I shrugged and motioned for her to follow, only slightly annoyed that she hung back a few paces. I wasn't Irvine, I had no interest in flirting or making this 'tour' anymore uncomfortable than it strictly had to be.
I turned right and she kept pace, albeit a bit behind me. I stopped at the next walkway and she halted beside me, her eyes studying the color of the sign.
"This is the Quad. Selphie and the rest of what's left of the garden committee throw festivals here when they can manage. The next one will be coming up in a month or so." She nodded next to me and I continued forward to the next walkway.
"The infirmary, right?" Her voice perked up a little and I nodded. She simply nodded back and we continued to walk until the once proud entrance to garden loomed before us.
"This entrance is only used under special circumstances, and only if we're on land. It has to be guarded at all times due to fiends trying to sneak aboard." I then turned to the elevator. It should have been self explanatory but I sighed, deciding Quistis would probably chew my head off if I didn't do this tour correctly. "The classrooms and Cid's office are up through the elevator. You use to need special clearance but most everyone just barges in with some complaint or another."
"You don't seem to enjoy having the responsibility of leading everyone," I could feel her eyes on me, but I simply shook my head and kept walking, deciding it wasn't worth minding. She followed behind me, watching me too intently for my tastes.
As we passed students and instructors alike they saluted me, putting more emphasis on the fact that I was doomed to lead them all to an early grave.
I shoved the dark thought aside, stopping in front of the library, waiting for the girl to catch up.
"What's this one?"
"Library," was all I said, feeling that the word itself should be self explanatory. She sighed and walked passed me, her blue jacket tail trailing behind her. Her hands were clasped behind her back as she fidgeted with something in her grasp.
I rolled my eyes and continued walking the circle. We both stopped at the next walkway, her eyes intent on studying the floor.
"This ones the training center, the next is the garage, which is now more of an extra storage area and the last is the dorms."
"Thank you," her voice was soft as she continued staring at the floor, her honey eyes darker than they had been at lunch.
"If you need anything I'm sure one of my acquaintances will be around soon to make sure I did my job." She nodded and I paused, wanting to add something else, but my brain was drawing a blank. Was there something I was missing? It's not a big Garden so it's not like she can get lost. Plus she's not even taking classes anyway.
"Squ- Commander," she turned to me, concern evident in those big brown eyes. "If you ever feel like you did last night again…. Don't hesitate to find me." She swallowed something down before walking towards the library. I watched as she walked away, confusion setting into my face.
I was starting to worry that I had done something worse than attempt to cut myself last night and that poor girl witnessed it.
I seethed at myself, angry that my vulnerability had been shown to a stranger. She didn't look back as she walked. For a moment I thought about calling out to her and asking about what it was I couldn't remember.
My anger boiled into rage as I decided that hitting things would be better use of my time than sleeping.
Irvine
He was doing a terrible job. The girl walked away from Squall without so much as a backward glance and the young commander had done nothing to stop it.
"Are you sure we should keep trying to set him up? What if he doesn't even like girls?" Selphie's voice filled his head and Irvine laughed.
"You saw the way he was looking at her over lunch." He wagged his eyebrows and Selphie did her best to stifle the laugh bubbling up in her throat. He had been trying for ages to get close to the brunette beauty in front of him, and nothing seemed to get her to push up against him more than spying on Squall and making plans in secret.
"I've seen him look at you like that," she pointed out. He scowled at her, deciding now wasn't the time to argue semantics.
"All he needs is a nudge," He stood up, no longer needing to hide behind a plant as neither of the two they were following seemed to notice much about their surroundings. Squall made his way to the training center while Rinoa walked slowly towards the library.
"That room across from Squall is still empty, right?" An idea hit Irvine much like on of his beauty's punches as a nefarious smile tugged at the ed edge of his lips.
"Yes," Selphie said, her own smile not nearly as subdued as her brain stopped at the same conclusion.
"Not anymore."
Squall
My muscles were sore after training as best I could. Our fiends weren't breeding like they use to, making it harder to find any at all in the small faux jungle. It was probably due to the movement of the Garden or low nearby human population.
Another thing I would need to take care of.
I sighed as I stepped into the dorms building, following the winding hallway until I reached my room. It was nestled in a corner so far back students use to groan and complain because of the distance between their room and their classes, back when they use to have enough students to fill the large building. Now there were barely enough to fill over half the rooms.
It was a nice quiet place to be, and it made me feel a little better that no one can hear me when my demons reared their ugly heads and I would scream out in frustration or anger.
I refuse to cry though. Nothing is worth the weakness of tears. Tears are for children, and there's no room for childish notions in the life of a SeeD, and certainly not in someone who was supposedly 'in charge' like Cid seemed to want to constantly remind me.
The door to the room across from mine was open and a familiar dog was laying on the bed. As I tried to place where I've seen it before the dogs owner stepped towards the bed and I froze, anger boiling under the surface.
This was another one of 'the gang's' attempts to force me to 'make friends.' Well, I wasn't having it. I needed my privacy at night if they let me have nothing else.
My anger took hold of me, forcing my legs forward as the Heartily girl stood up, wiping tears from her face. She turned to look at me slowly, her sad expression changed to one of fear.
I wasn't sure what I was going to do before, but as all of the anger deflated out of me the only thing I wanted to do was comfort her. It was a strange feeling, one usually reserved for young children or occasionally Selphie when her festival plans went askew. I have only acted on this desire once, and I couldn't help but feel like just this once I could change that. I just didn't have the words. We stood there in silence for a long moment before she gave a sad smile, tears still falling from her eyes.
She left silently, leaving me to stare at the wall, at a loss for words.
Rinoa
This had to be someone's cruel form of a joke. Not a single room was occupied in the back of this dorms, but still Selphie had moved forward, leading me to one nestled in the very back. It was one of the larger rooms with a big window and its own small bathroom.
The view was beautiful as the garden sailed through the water. Nothing but sparkling blue for as far as the eyes could see.
Once Selphie left I began to truly miss Zone and Watts. They had loved the ocean and a few times they had entertained the thought of running out of Timber and simply sailing the open sea. We would laugh the thought away, but it kept resurfacing. Their eyes would sparkle, making up tails of adventure in the big blue abyss. I hadn't thought about them this much since my first few weeks back in my father's house. I wonder how much trouble they got into? Are they okay?
Did they ever get their chance to sail the open waters?
My mind trailed off to my father. Unbridled rage swam through my veins in an instant at the thought of him. His cruel behavior and tyrannical ways. No wonder he was working with her. Ever since mom died he's been nothing but a horrible father.
And then I was thinking about my mother. My hand went to the thin chain around my neck and rested firmly on the unadorned ring that sat comfortably between my collar bones. It had been my grandmother's wedding band, which was past down to my mother. And now to me, though I highly doubted I would ever wed. No, I would die long before that.
Tears began collecting behind my eye lids, but I did my best to push them away. I needed to be strong. She needed me to be strong.
Angelo whined from her spot on my bed, feeling the emotions inside of me becoming too much. If I didn't get a handle on things I would be in a lot of trouble.
I was starting to wonder if it was really a good idea to be here, surrounded by SeeDs whose only real goal was to keep the world safe from what I am.
From what I was made into.
I leaned down, giving Angelo all the affection I could muster while the tears finally became too much.
Footsteps alerted me to the fact that I was no longer alone and I stood, wiping a few tears away from my face. I expected to see Selphie or Zell. Maybe even Quistis.
Instead my eyes fell on Squall, anger obvious on his face. What was I to do? I know he doesn't want to talk to me. As far as I can tell he doesn't even remember falling off the bridge. He almost hit the water!
If it wasn't for what I am then he would be dead, but if he found out about the truth than I would be the one meeting a water grave.
SeeDs don't get along with Sorceresses. Me being his least favorite person in the world probably wouldn't help me out any when it comes down to it.
I couldn't stand here anymore, waiting for him to say something in that voice void of nothing more than sarcasm. I gave him a small smile before slipping away, doing my best to be as quiet as possible.
My mind drifted to the thought that had plagued me since the day I realized what had happened. Why, of all the candidates for this wretched curse, had a Sorceress' power been flung upon my head?
It was still a mystery as to how a Sorceress' successor was chosen mere seconds before death. Sometimes it fell upon an unsuspecting victim halfway across the world, others it was someone right in front of the dying thing, power pouring out of her veins much like blood.
And it was always a her, always a female. And they almost always rose to some form of power.
I pulled my arm warmer away, studying the pencil thin scars that stopped just above my wrist as my tears began to slow. The mark of my power were the wings which seemed to force themselves from within me, dragging from my skin. To anyone else these scars were almost invisible, making no discernible pattern whatsoever. I could see the light etchings of feathers, each individual one branding into my skin in almost invisible lines.
Sorceresses were feared due to the fact that they could sway hearts and minds with a single look, control other's deeds like puppets if that's what they desired. I am new to my gifts, not sure what I can really do. I always feel the pinprick of these feather-like scars whenever my power is lost beyond my control, the wings inside of me forcing their way out, painful but beautiful. I froze for a moment, taking in the sight of the water from a small window.
Another ghostly thought crossed my mind as I forced myself to move, turning another corner and letting my feet drag me through the maze of hallways and passed shut doors.
What if Squall couldn't remember because I hadn't wanted him to remember?
