Ayu-chan: Thankies so much for everyone who reviewed! I dedicate this chapter to the lovely people who support me. n.n I am so grateful to all of you.
Note: Ryoma knows what p!rnography is; he's just not familiar with it because he hasn't done any act relating to it. To give you a clearer example, we all know what cooking is, right? But we need to ask cooks and chefs for more information because we're not that learned in that point of interest.
I'm just clearing this up for those who don't get it. n.n
Disclaimer:Prince of Tennis™ does not belong to me. n,n
Seigaku Tennis Courts – Morning Practice
"There's an emergency at home. I want you guys to just do laps until I'm back," Ryuuzaki Sumire said, preparing to leave.
"What's the matter?"
"Sakuno died."
Everyone stared at her.
"I meant Sakuno, my cat. Sakuno, my granddaughter, named it after her." And with that, she left.
"Hey, little Ryoma!" Kikumaru Eiji shouted, pouting rather charmingly, as Ryoma walked towards his direction. "Where's Momo?" he asked, looking left and right; he even looked up and down just for the heck of it.
Ryoma put the bill of his cap down. "Momo-senpai's in the clinic."
"I knew he was weak. Fushuuu," Kaidoh Kaoru remarked as he began running his laps.
"Too bad. I wanted him to test my new drink," Inui Sadaharu magically appeared right behind Ryoma. Of course, we all know that's impossible because Inui didn't have any ninja techniques or wizardry powers…right?
Right?
Right?
"Saa, what's the new flavor this time, Inui?" Fuji Syuusuke, the resident genius, smiled calmly as he licked his lower lip. "I'm getting thirsty."
"It's hamburger-flavored."
Ryoma's eyes widened in glutton. Good thing Momo-senpai fainted.
"Echizen, where's Momo?" Oishi Syuuichiro, the ever-loving vice-captain of the tennis club, asked as he applied wax to the palms of his hands to style his hair. We don't know how he styles his hair like that. Some people say there's an invisible scotch tape holding it in place, but some think it's a mystery of nature.
Ryoma sighed. Did he have to repeat himself again? "He's in the clinic."
"What?" Oishi burst out. "Oh, dear pumpkin!"
"Eh? Is that a new 'shocked phrase'?" Eiji asked, scratching his nose. "Wow, Oishi, where do you get them? Last week, you kept saying 'My ginger!' over and over again."
"Hmm, Oishi developed a liking for phrases whose words don't even rhyme," Inui muttered as he wrote down every data.
"How about 'Sweet teeth!'?" Fuji suggested, smiling. His eyes opened for a split second, challenging any protests or ridicule whatsoever.
"Er… Why is Momo in the clinic?" Kawamura Takashi asked. He was scratching the back of his head as he looked down.
"Dear pump – sweet teeth! Was he hit by a soccer ball while he was helping an old lady cross the street, selling chocolates for the school fund, and giving directions to a foreigner at the same time?" Oishi asked, wearing a worried expression on his face.
"No…" Ryoma answered, lifting his left eyebrow. What the hell? Who would be caught doing that?
"Oh. I thought he was. That happened to me yesterday," Oishi frowned, touching the bump on his forehead. Thank God he had those bangs or else he would look…un-Oishi-ish.
Oh, yeah.
"Hoi! Why's he in the clinic, then?"
"He fainted," Ryoma stated bluntly.
"I think Echizen meant Momoshiro passed out," Tezuka Kunimitsu, their stoic captain, emphasized, putting everyone under the impression that 'fainting' and 'passing out' are clearly different things.
"Yeah, what he said," Ryoma was beyond creeped out. Their captain was not like himself today.
"Why did he pass out?" Taka asked, concerned for his junior.
Ryoma blushed. "I asked him about my homework."
At the mention of homework, Horio appeared, looking smug. "Ha! I already did our English homework, Echizen!"
"Che."
"Eh? Don't tell me you haven't done it yet! It's so easy!" Horio stated with his normal voice volume. Believe me, he's not yelling yet.
Ryoma twitched. Damn you. It's difficult for me.
"I, the great Horio with two years of tennis experience, can help you, you know!" Horio patted Ryoma's back. "Poor Echizen… So uneducated…"
Ryoma twitched some more. I am cool. I am calm. I am a big boy. I am cool. I am calm. I am a big boy.
"So, what do you say, Echizen!? My uncle's a real expert!" Horio bragged, proud that his uncle was a pervert. Hooray for him. He must feel so lucky. Yay.
Ryoma just stared at him.
"Nya! I'll help you with your homework! I'm great at studies!"
Ryoma stared at him skeptically.
"Well, if I don't know it, we can always ask Fuji!" Eiji grinned, flashing a V-sign.
"What's it about, Echizen? We can help you," Fuji smiled innocently. In fact, he was smiling way too innocently.
Damn. He already knows. I'm dead. Maybe I'll leave Karupin to a cat shelter or something. Or should I just find out if Karupin has relatives?
"It's…" Ryoma began answering.
"Yes?" Eiji moved closer to hear what Ryoma was about to say.
"…about…" Ryoma continued.
"Yes? Yes?" Eiji was beyond excited.
"…clowns."
"What?" Eiji exclaimed. "Momo fainted because he was asked about clowns?"
"Saa… Is this true?" Fuji directed his question to Horio who looked like he was about to throw up.
Well, Horio always looks like he was about to pass out so he looked normal, I guess.
"Eh? Why do you have a different topic, Echizen? Is it because you're the best in English?" he asked, bewildered.
Ryoma chose not to answer. He was sweating furiously.
"Why? What's your topic?" Fuji asked, smiling. He looked like he was enjoying the scene.
"Well… Uh…" Horio looked uncomfortable.
Inui decided to answer Fuji's question. He looked down at his notes and began nose-bleeding. "It's about pornography."
Taka's nose bled. He passed out.
Eiji laughed loudly. "Oh, so that's why Momo passed out!" He got hold of Taka's racquet and gave it to Seigaku's power player. "Here, Taka-san."
Taka regained consciousness. "Porn is GREAT-O!" he shouted, running around. "It's always making me BURN! I'm BUUUURNING!!"
Kaidoh heard Taka's declaration. He blushed. "Fushuu… How dirty…" he muttered as he continued running his laps.
"So you need help with Porn, huh? Why don't you ask Tezuka?" Eiji smiled, looking innocent.
Ryoma's eyes widened. "Why?"
"He's familiar with it. I mean, after all, he is an honor student," Fuji smiled.
Ryoma smirked. "Che. You just want me to humiliate myself in front of captain."
"Yes?" Tezuka asked as he appeared beside Ryoma. "Fuji told me you wanted to ask me something."
Ryoma's eyes widened. Think, Ryoma! Think!
He gave up. Better now than never.
"Pornography. I need you to tell me what you know about it."
Tezuka's eyes widened for a split second, but then he regained his composure. "Pornography is perverted," he said in monotone.
"I already knew that, captain. I can't write an essay saying 'Pornography is perverted', can I? I need 997 more words."
"Excuse me, Echizen. I think I hear the principal calling me," Tezuka walked away, leaving Ryoma all alone and homework-less.
He sighed and proceeded to go to the courts when he bumped someone.
"Ouch," Ryoma exclaimed, even though his voice was still in monotone.
"What are you doing, you peasant?!" came a shout.
Damn. I know that voice.
"Monkey King."
"Brat."
"Why are you here?" Ryoma asked. He's still in Seigaku, right?
"Tezuka told me to come here. He called me yesterday." Atobe answered, flicking his hair.
Ryoma just stared at him.
Silence took over the atmosphere.
"Well? Where's Tezuka?" Atobe asked, annoyed. "Aaahn?"
"He went to see the principal."
"How is that so? I heard your principal was sick." Atobe was confused.
"Really?" Ryoma asked. Damn you, captain.
"Well, seeing as your captain is a man who is undeserving to be graced with my presence, I guess I should be leaving now." Atobe smirked.
Hmm. I already thought of the perfect plan to get back at captain.
"Ne," Ryoma called out.
"Aaahn?"
"Captain told me to ask you something. I forgot to tell you about it." Ryoma was smirking. The mischievous glint in his eyes was present.
Atobe lifted his left eyebrow. "Aaahn? What is it, then?"
"Well," Ryoma started, "I was told by captain to tell you to give a talk about Pornography," Ryoma lowered the bill of his hat. "He wants you to give our team a whole talk about it."
"Pornography? I am afraid that I am not well-versed in that matter," Atobe furrowed his eyebrows.
"Oh, that's disappointing. I thought you knew everything…" Ryoma frowned, mocking Atobe.
"Heh. I am perfect because I know nothing about that topic. My mind is perfectly untainted. I'll call my teammates to come here since I believe that they're the ones who are great concerning this." And with that said, Atobe called the rest of his team to bounce to Seigaku.
Ryoma smirked inwardly. Good. Now I'll have more sources.
Oh, bless our souls for the next chapter.
Next chapter will be about the Hyoutei regulars' collective knowledge. Be ready, dearies. Be very ready. n,n
