Disclaimer.


I honestly don't know what the hell I was thinking.

Why I ended up falling for the most superficial narcissistic woman on Raw, I don't know. It wasn't planned.

Then again, when is love ever planned?

But this wasn't supposed to happen.

We had a deal.

A rule.

It was put into place to specifically avoid this situation. In these kind of relationships where its the girl that breaks the rules. She's the one that falls.

And what ends up happening?

I fall.

Hard.

Not just, I love her and I want to be together falling. But like, I'm picturing her walking down an aisle, her pregnant with my children, my ring on her finger; shit like that.

It's ridiculous and it's embarassing.

I've had a while to think this whole "I've fallen in love with the girl I'm sleeping with" thing over. After a month and a half I agreed to tell her.

I was sitting there.

She was sitting there.

Staring at me with her chocolate brown eyes expectantly.

I came out and said it.

It was rushed.

I was nervous.

"Excuse me?" She didn't hear me.

"I said, I love you."

And what was her reply?

"I know what you said, but why?"

I didn't understand the fucking question.

Did she want to know why I loved her or why I told her? The expression on her face didn't offer up any clues so we were pretty much just sitting there staring at each other.

I left.

There's a chance I muttered 'fuck this' on the way out but I was too crushed to notice. Here I was with the girl of my dreams, professing my love, and she asks me why.

I've tried fighting it with other girls but every time I'd get to the room "somebody" won't get up. And he taughts me, especially in my dreams where her face ,and scent, and voice, and warmth are so vivid. He has no problem interrupting my sleep for a cold shower and a night spent on the couch.

So, its not hard to understand why I feel this way towards her.

I have the right to hate her.

I have the right to turn away from her in the halls.

I have the right to have others hating her.

I don't however, have the right to miss her......

And I do.