Disclaimer: See chapter 1

AN: Thanks for all the reviews, you are great. I'm glad you are enjoying this. It is reminiscent of a Christmas Carol with three stops but I think that is where it ends.

There is a huge angst warning for this chapter and the next but I promise it'll get better. Stick with me please, Ranger needed a kick in the head and a lot of Stephanie's views stem directly from this moment where she says she can't do it and then his mouth says these things on different occasions. I want to correct that so it's gonna get worse before it gets better. Ranger is a stubborn guy and needs to see how his actions/words impact everyone, not just him.


This time we landed behind Stephanie. She was standing in front of a headstone. Diesel spoke again, "We are six months after Stephanie's wedding day."

I saw my name on the headstone with a shiney black casket waiting to be lowered. I was stunned. Bobby's words just spoken were ringing in my head. Stephanie was in tears; my mother and Julie walked up to the headstone, they were crying. I heard Stephanie say, "I'm so sorry, this is my fault. If I hadn't married Joe then Ranger would still be alive. He wouldn't have gone on that mission after he retired."

My mother spoke through her tears, "I know my son. He went out again because he wanted to. Maybe he did want to die after you married but he made his choice, he called me before he left and said that he had pushed you away for good. He told me many times that he pushed you away. He thought it was too dangerous to be with you. He didn't think he was good enough for you. I told him he was being foolish so many times. I told him to tell you how he felt."

Julie reached out and took Stephanie's hand, "I know you loved my Dad. I loved him too. He loved us both in his own way. I wish he could have told us in words instead of actions."

Stephanie nodded and said, "I know honey. I'll always be there for you if you want to talk about him. I know no one understands how I felt or why I married Joe. I didn't want to be alone. I was tired of being alone. I wasn't strong enough to fight anymore. I hope you never feel that way sweetie."

I watched as they each laid a rose on the casket. My daughter had the flag. It should've gone to Stephanie but we never married and she was married to another man. I couldn't believe I had been so stupid. I was already showing signs of slowing down. Another couple of years and it would be a suicide mission when I left. I was good but every one slows up as they age. There was nothing I could do about. All the healthy eating and exercise couldn't change things. There were younger, stronger men on both sides to take my place or assassinate me.

We followed them to Rangeman. Tank, Lester, Bobby, my parents, Julie with her mother and Stephanie were all sitting in a conference room with my attorney, Jamison Calahan. He read the bequests to Julie, my parents and my partners. Then he told Stephanie the remainder of my estate goes to her. She is now the majority owner of Rangeman, the building including my penthouse which included everything in it, cars and multimillion dollar bank account. She was stunned, "I can't take all this. I wasn't his wife, his family. It should go to Julie."

Jamison said, "Stephanie, Carlos was very sure of what he was doing. He left Julie very well off. Her trust fund is managed by the firm and if something happens to Rachel, you are in charge until she reaches 25. His parents are also in a very good financial position. I know they'd rather have their son but they can retire and live well even if they live to be one hundred."

She stuttered, "What about Rangeman? I can't own it. The guys have worked hard to make it what it is today. They should own it all."

Jamison shook his head, "Stephanie, he wanted you to have choices and something to fall back on in the event you wanted to end your marriage. This was something that would be yours. He believed you could run the company and take it to another level if you chose to. Don't let his life become meaningless by refusing. He's looking down on you now, wanting you take his gift and not let his death be for nothing."

She burst into tears finally realizing how much he loved her and how much she has lost. Tank pulled her into his arms and held her as she cried. I watched as my best friend comforted her. She looked up into his eyes and said, "You'll tell Lula how you feel tonight won't you? Don't let her continue thinking you don't love her, that she means nothing to you. Please, don't make the same mistakes Ranger and I did."

He nodded saying, "No Bombshell, I won't. I plan to go out after we're done and buy her an engagement ring. I'm asking her to marry me tonight. She'll want you to be her matron of honor."

She nodded, "I don't know if I can do it. I'm a little down on marriage and love right now."

My mother spoke up, "Stephanie, don't let everything cloud your kind and giving nature."

Tank took her up to the penthouse; he gave her the combination to the safe so she could review the papers in there. He handed her my dog tags which she placed over her head so they hung between her breasts. I watched him leave as she opened the door to the safe. She reached inside and took out a letter I had written to her and a blue ring box from Tiffany. She opened the ring box and found a stunning white emerald cut diamond. It looked to be about three carats with a smaller stone on either side it. It was set in platinum. She opened the letter and I read it over her shoulder.

Babe,

If you are reading this I it means I didn't make it back this time. I know I should've told you sooner what you meant to me but I'm not a man who is good at expressing myself with words. Actions always worked better for me. I tried to show you how felt through my actions. Hell, I killed for you, got shot for you and jumped off a bridge to save you. I told you I loved you but even when I stopped qualifying it you didn't get it. I told you I thought about marrying you but you laughed it off. I hated seeing you in danger because of me. I finally realized I couldn't go on without you but it was too late. You and the cop decided to make a go of it. I know I had no right to show up at the church today and ask you to run away with me but I had to try. When you rejected me it felt like my heart was ripped from my chest. So I did something stupid. I accepted another job. I honestly don't care if I come back because I don't think I can handle watching you live the Burg life and have Morelli's children. It wouldn't be living for me, I have a really bad feeling on this one Babe but it doesn't matter. The minute you said 'I do' my life was over as I knew it. I'll never be happy with anyone else. You may not believe this but after our first time together, I've been celibate. We were together a few times after that but there hasn't been, could never be another woman for me. You stole my heart Babe. You'll never know the pure bliss I felt when we were in Hawaii together. If Joe hadn't shown up I would have given you that ring in my safe and we'd never have been apart again.

I hope that you'll be able to think of me in the future and not hate me. You were so angry the last time I saw you, it hurt more than you'll ever know to have it directed at me. I love you Babe, always have, and always will. Keep the ring and everything else I left you. I want you to have choices in the future. If you want to leave him you'll be able to support yourself and not scimp to get by again. I know you're proud but please accept what I've given you.

With all my love,

Carlos

Stephanie shook her head as the tears continued to fall. I heard her yell in the quiet apartment, "Why? Why could you be so eloquent in a letter but not say those words to me while you were alive. Why did you push me away so many times? I don't know if I'll ever forgive you for dying on me."

She continued to cry and rage until the sun started to go down before finally realizing she needed to get home, it was already six o'clock. We followed her home, she drove my 911 Turbo. She pulled into Morelli's driveway on Slater Street. He was standing on his porch unlocking the door when he looked over, watching her climb out of the car in her black funeral dress.

You could see the anger on his face and he began yelling, "Where the hell have you been and what are you doing driving that car?"

"I told you I was going to Ranger's funeral today. Did you really think I wouldn't go? He wasn't just my best friend; he was the love of my life."

He stalked over to her, grabbed her arm and dragged her into the house. He shoved her onto the couch and began to pace. He was angry and it came through in his voice, "How dare you stand in my lawn as my wife and say that another man is the love of your life. Furthermore, what do you mean he was your best friend? Shouldn't your husband fit the bill for both? Why did you even marry me?"

She was sobbing, "I married you because you finally asked with a ring. I knew he never would. He came to the church before the ceremony and I rejected him, then he left on this mission. Now he's dead. Are you happy now? I chose you, now you'll have to live with knowing he was the love of my life. Deal with it. I have to live with his blood on my hands. He left me his building, his cars, his company and a boatload of money."

Joe stood there, the bluster gone and said in a flat tone, "I'm going to my mother's. At least I can eat a meal with someone I can stand to look at. You make me sick Stephanie. You need to get over him if you expect this marriage to work and you better be prepared to have my children or we're through. You'll use his money for us and our family. The choice is yours. I suggest you use some of it to take some cooking lessons. Everyone is tired of your incompetence in the kitchen."

We watched him storm out of the house and she crumpled to the floor sobbing. She cried like her heart was breaking. It went on for hours. The phone rang several times but she never made an attempt to answer it. She finally fell asleep on the floor. Bobby and Lester showed up a few hours later and carefully lifted her up. They carried her upstairs and put her to bed. Bobby pulled her shoes off as Lester laid her down. They shook their heads, I heard Lester say, "I don't think I ever want to fall in love. It doesn't appear to have made either of them happy."

Bobby looked grim. He said as they climbed into their SUV, "It's not love that made them unhappy. It was their failure to acknowledge their feelings until it was too late. She believed all the crap he spewed; I mean look what she had before him. Morelli who tore her down every chance he got and Dickie Orr who cheated on her and then told her it was her fault."

Diesel looked at her lying there and softly spoke, "Pushing her away was the wrong move man. Telling her he's a good man and a good cop may be the truth but he's not the better man for her. I know you think she'd be safer with him but that isn't true. Come on, we have another stop to make."

I nodded and took his hand. I hated the feeling I got when we traveled but I had a feeling I wasn't going to like what he showed me next even more.