Chapter 3

A.N.: Disclaimer is on Chapter 1.

Chapter 3 will be Mio centric.

Again, thanks for the reviews ^w^ It's very motivating.

Enjoy!


"Déjà vu, huh?" mumbled Mio, looking out her bedroom window and staring at nothing in particular. There were no people on the street, due to the late night hour, and everything was too quiet for her tastes. The night's calmness was making her restless. She gave a long sigh as she glanced a last time at the starry sky and closed her flowery curtain to block the brightness of the full moon's light.

She checked the time on her computer — the only source of light now. 12:34 AM. She shivered a little at the numbers' order, and turned off her computer. She sat on one of the cushions at the small table in the middle of her bedroom and let her eyes adjust to the darkness.

The bassist was nervous.

Very, very nervous.

So, that's it, isn't it? She heaved a shaky breath. Tomorrow she was going to meet up with her friends from the Light Music Club to check out the results of the University entrance exam. She felt just like three years ago, before entering Sakuragaoka All-Girls High School. There was a gripping fear, hovering like a dark cloud above her head and weighing on her shoulders.

And, to complete the feeling of déjà vu, there were those feelings towards Ritsu again. Stronger and more persistent than ever. Harder to hide. She had been feeling some urges that would always make her blush when thinking about them. Gosh, she was blushing again…

But this time she wouldn't make any excuses about the feelings. She got tired of lying to herself. She felt so stupid when she finally admitted to herself that she had been in denial all this time.

All the times she had looked at her drummer friend and felt her heart go wild. The many times she wanted to just hold her friend close and forget about everything else. The other times she felt like strangling the brunette for her pranks… Well, that one she managed to accomplish every time…

Of course, she hadn't been able to open her eyes without a little push in the right direction… Well, a shove, actually.

It had been in the most unexpected way that she started to look at things differently and face her emotions.

It had been because of her mommy.

Uh… Mother.

Back then, she never knew her mom paid so much attention to how she was feeling.

-flashback-

Tomorrow would be the School Festival, and Mio was freaking out. Again.

Her class had chosen the bassist and Ritsu to perform in the play, Romeo and Juliet. Or "Romio and Jurietsu", according to Yui.

They had practiced a lot together. But the lefty girl was still very nervous. It wasn't even because of the audience they would have to face. It was because of her "co-star".

Mio hated when those feelings came back to haunt her. Their timing was awful.

And so she sat fidgeting in her bed, trying to empty her mind.

Did Mugi really have to make the script so romantic? she thought bitterly. "Well… It is Romeo and Juliet, after all…" She sighed resignedly. A knock on her door startled her out of her musings.

"May I enter, dear?" her mom said, cracking the door open.

"Sure, Mom!" She smiled embarrassedly, blushing a little.

"Is everything okay, darling? Are you ready for tomorrow?"

"Well, yeah, it's fine… I'm still a bit nervous, though."

"I'm so sorry your father and I won't be able to be there yet again, Mio. I'm sure you'll do great!"

"Uhn…"

"You don't seem very excited," her mom offered her a gentle smile. "Do you want to tell me what's wrong?"

What could she tell her mom? The truth was out of question… "I don't know how to… huh…"

"Is it Ricchan?" The smile now was sympathetic.

Mio's eyes were like saucers. Why would her mom think that it had to do with Ritsu?

"Why?… I mean, what… huh… I…"

"Dear, you really don't know how to lie, do you? I can barely believe Ricchan herself hasn't noticed anything."

The black-haired girl was rendered completely speechless. By her own mother.

"I don't know how you're dealing with it right now, but I've noticed it's not the first time you've acted like this. I just want you to know, Mio, that you are my beloved daughter, and nothing will ever change that. And I'll support you whenever you need me. All I want is your happiness."

"What…You've known?…" She couldn't find the right words, but she felt her mother had wanted to talk to her about that for a while.

"Oh, sweetie, I won't lie to you. It wasn't easy at first. But it's been obvious how different your friendship is, for a long time now. And Ricchan has been like a daughter too, since you two became friends. If it's the best for you two, you have my support."

"I really don't think that's like that, Mom… Ritsu doesn't… well…" She was fighting tears now. She couldn't believe how foolish she had been about it all. Her mom had accepted her feelings, even before herself.

"Are you sure? Have you talked to her about it?"

"No… I'm… not ready." Tears were slowly spilling now, embarrassing her further.

"Oh, I understand. Be sure to face your feelings dear. Denying them is not good for you. You'll end up hurting yourself," her mom said, a bit sternly even, while pulling the bassist for a hug.

She just nodded, hiding her face in the crook of her mom's neck, and letting more tears spill.

After a while, her mom loosened the embrace. "Now, it's time to go to sleep, you have a lot of work tomorrow."

"O-ok," she mumbled, taking a deep breath to calm herself, as her mother stood up to leave.

And as she was leaving, she added: "Oh, one more thing, Mio. Your father knows too," and closed the door, leaving the girl completely stunned.

-end of flashback-

Yeah… That was one of the hugest shocks of my life, the lefty mused, getting up and heading for her bed.

As she settled between the blankets, she wondered about her reasons for denying everything for so long.

When had she fallen in love with Ritsu, for starters?

She couldn't pinpoint an exact moment. The difference had been in the thought of change. When she began worrying about things changing between them, she started to notice the difference in her feelings.

But she never felt them blossom. It was like they were always there. It was like I was meant to feel this way, from the beginning. I never had any chance of escaping, she smiled ruefully at the thought. She had wasted so much time, so many tears, because of her denial.

Now that she stopped to think about it, she knew there was nothing wrong with feeling that way, and that was even easier with her parents' support.

It wasn't that.

It had never been the thought of being with another girl. If it had been anyone else, it might have been so much easier… I would have been able to talk to Ritsu about it, and have her support too.

She knew she'd have Ritsu's support. She never thought her friend would alienate her for her choices. That hadn't been the reason for her secrecy either.

Her reason for not telling Ritsu was the fear of change. Again that fear.

She knew Ritsu wouldn't put any distance between them. She was afraid that she might be the one who would put it.

She was afraid of making things awkward between them.

It would all be her own fault.

And, above anything else, she thought she was betraying Ritsu with those feelings. She knew it was odd, thinking like that, but it made sense to her.

After all, since they met, Ritsu had been the one person Mio was closest with, even more than her parents. It was Ritsu who introduced her to music. It was Ritsu who she shared her dreams, and fears with. It was because of Ritsu she had such wonderful friends now.

Ritsu was the only one she ever really felt comfortable to have physical contact with. Since they started going to each other's houses and having sleepovers when kids, they bathed together, slept in the same bed, shared clothes…

Therefore, she felt like she was betraying the drummer's trust and the intimacy they shared, by wanting her friend in another way.

It made sense, right?

Right… I suppose I could make this all much simpler and just tell her everything, she sighed again. I can just tell her what I feel, and that I don't expect anything from her, and that nothing has to change between us…

Easier thought than done…

I need to think this through… I'm too stressed now… Tomorrow I'll be able to relax, after we check the results, so there's no point in stressing myself further.

She took her cell phone from the bedside table and checked the hour one last time before settling in to sleep. It was 1:02 AM. The bassist smiled, while drifting off.

She dreamed she was together with Ritsu at their own apartment. They were talking cuddled in bed. They had just made love.


A.N.:Geez! Mio's mind is so complicated! (x.X)

R&R? ^^'

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Edited by: Shima Harawa.