I realized a couple of things.
First, I made Biana smell like Celaena Sardothein. Throne of Glass fans will understand who I'm talking about.
Second, I forgot about Iggy, until MidnightBunny reminded me.
I started going into a blank state of mind, repeating, 'i killed iggy. i killed iggy'. My sister started calling me insane. Truth is, i am insane. fight me.
Let's just say that Iggy was at another pet hospital after he swallowed a cockroach (which makes no sense because Grady and Edaline are the ones who treat the animals).
Iggy's alive, y'all. No reason to worry. I repeat, the floofball is alive.
TAM'S POV
Three knocks at the door inturrupted my kiss with Keefe.
"Who could it be?" Keefe pulls away and frowns.
"Don't know..." I grunt as I pull myself from the bed, away from his warmth. "I'll be right back." I promise as I head to the front door. They knock again. "Coming!" I yell.
Marella's there.
No problem, except for that I was in a fake relationship the council gave me with her.
"Uh, hey, Tam." Marella shifts uncomfortably and twirls a lock of her tiny braid.
"Hey." I try to smile, but I'm pretty sure it comes out as a wince. I hold my breath as she inhales.
"I just... um, I saw your name on the list. You know, the list of people where the council erased their memories?"
I slowly let out my breath. "Yeah?"
"Just... wanted to make sure... no, ah.." she curls her lips inward and breaks the eye contact to look at my swollen lips from Keefe. "Just wanted to... clarify our relationship?"
"Marella, you know that I'm-"
"Gay, I know. Yeah. What I meant was..." she takes a deep breath. "I want to end it. Just want to clean things up." she nods as she exhales deeply.
"Marella, look, I'm really sorry." I look away, not wanting to meet her eyes.
"You know, they gave me fake memories as well." Her voice breaking fully catches my attention. She blinks furiously, as if to clear away tears. "I went to them, and they offered to erase them. You know what I said?" she draws a ragged breath, and the emotion I know as guilt pulls on my gut. "I said no. Said I didn't want them to erase the memories."
I don't know what to say. I open my mouth, knowing I should say something, needing to say something, but nothing comes out except for a hoarse whisper meaning nothing.
"Because I really, really enjoyed being with you, even though it was all fake." she closed her eyes and tilted her face upwards. "I really, really, like you. That's not fake. And I was really, really, hoping that your name wouldn't be on the list... that some of it wasn't fake for you..." she shakes her head.
"Marella..." I want to hug her, not as my girlfriend, but just as a friend, but I know doing that is a line I have no right to cross.
"You used to call me Mare." her face breaks into jagged, hard, broken lines as she squeezes her eyes shut. "Now it's Marella." she says her own name with such a bitterness that it makes me stiffen. A single tear leaves a mark on her cheek, as if someone drew a line with their finger on a foggy window. "Good bye, Tam." she whispers, and runs. Far, far away from me. And in a flash of light, she's gone.
With what feels like the weight of the world on my shoulders, I sigh and slowly close the door.
"What was that about?" Keefe emerges from the room, his innocent eyes piqued with interest.
"Marella." I groan as a slump against the door. "I hurt her. Said she really like me. Said she hoped that some of it wasn't fake for me as well..." I rub my hands against my face, trying to wake me up from this horrible reality. "I feel so bad."
"Oh, Tam..." Keefe gently hugs me. I'm genuinely surprised at how much it helps. "It really isn't your fault."
"Then why does it feel like it?"
"Because you're a nice person."
"That is the worst thing that anyone could ever say to me. Accusing me of being a nice person? Excuse me, I'm a shade." I crack a smile at my own joke, not because it's funny, but because I don't want to feel like crap. Keefe's chuckle rumbles throughout his chest.
"Weirdo." he musses with my hair.
Me: *takes a break from angst on the oneshots
Also me: *writes a full-on angsty break up on the other fanfiction
What do you mean, I'm indecisive?
