The Journal of a Perverted Chibi Raven
Summary: One possessive and perverted chibi raven decided to write his daily adventures in a journal about his chosen, sweet, hyper, adorable, innocent, oblivious yet feisty chibi blonde bride.
Warning/s: OOCness, ultra perverted Sasu-chibi. SHOTAness! and lame attempt at humor… -_-
Disclaimer: pssh… like i would ever own it… if i own it then Sasu-teme will be back at the village screwing Naruto senseless… so yah… you get the point… absolutely NOT MINE!
"talking"
"thinking"
'Dear Diary'
Conversation with the Parents and First Entry
Sasuke is sulking at his bedroom, trying hard not to cry and occasionally punching his pillow, imagining it was Itachi's head. "Stupid Itachi!" he said angrily as he gave the poor pillow another hard punch.
"I won't go near you!" was what Naruto said earlier.
Sasuke pouted (though he would never admit it when you ask him), "Am I not good enough?" he thought "What have I done wrong? I just squeezed his butt! Nothing's wrong with that! Unless he's being so shy!" and speaking of Naruto's butt, he could still feel how soft and firm the blonde's butt is "It's really, really soft" he said out loud as his hands made a close-open gesture, imagining that he was once again squeezing Naruto's butt "I wonder how smooth and cute it really is" and he let his mind drifted off at the thought of Naruto's cute firm round butt.
He snapped out when he heard a knock on his door. He glared at the door, wishing that somehow, whoever was behind the door would feel his glare and just evaporate.
"Sasuke…?" a soft voice called out and Sasuke's eyes widen a little "Naruto"
"Are you thewe? Sasuke?"
Sasuke ignored him, he's still hurt, and he doesn't want to see Naruto just yet. There was silence and Sasuke thought that Naruto already left "He probably goes back to my traitor of a brother" he said bitterly, he felt his heart ache at the thought of his big brother and Naruto playing together.
"Sasuke… pwease…" Sasuke was startled when he heard Naruto again, this time though, the blonde's voice is trembling.
"Pwease Sasuke, I'm sowwy… I didn't mean what I said" Sasuke decided not to answer again just to make it more dramatic – like those dramas on TV that her mom always watch.
Sasuke heard the door knob being twisted but it didn't open "Oh, I locked it" he thought.
"Sasuke… open da door, pwease?" Naruto's voice is shaking as he softly knocks on the raven's door
"NO!" Sasuke shouted. He then heard Naruto sniffed, and after a few seconds, he heard the young blonde cry. Sasuke began to panic "Naruto is crying!" he was about to rush to the door and open it then give Naruto a hug when he remembered something "Didn't he say that he don't want to be near me? Why is he here then? He should just go back to Itachi!" he thought angrily.
He heard Naruto sobbed "I want… to see y-you. P-pwease Sas'ke I'm s-so-sowwy" and without any choice left, Sasuke hurried to the door, unlocked it, open it a little and rushed back to his bed hiding under his blanket.
After wiping his tears, Naruto opened the door wider; he entered the room without hesitation then softly closed the door behind him. He noticed a lump on the bed, and walked towards it. He debated with himself if it would be alright to climb on the bed or not, after a few seconds of hesitation he climbed nonetheless.
Sasuke tensed when the bed shifted.
"Sasuke…" Naruto started, he moved closer to Sasuke "Um… I uh… I'm so sowwy about what I said. Um… pwease don't be mad. We just met, and I wanted to be fwends with Sasuke, because Fuga-touchan said dat Sasuke is weally nice. I wanted to be best fwends with Sasuke. But Sasuke squeezed my butt and I don't know why and it makes me embawass" Naruto said, blushing a little.
Sasuke sat up and light heartedly glared at Naruto "But your butt is so cute! It's not my fault if I squeezed it!"
Naruto blushed, he don't really understand why he is blushing, but it was the first time that someone told him his butt is cute. After all, it's just a butt. But hearing Sasuke said it, it makes him feel embarrass and flush, though he don't dislike it. Still, touching and squeezing someone's butt is bad right? His grandmother Tsunade told him so; and he often than not sees his grandma hitting his grandfather Jiraiya whenever she caught his grandpa squeezing someone's butt.
"But it is bad touching someone's butt" he muttered, "It's not!" Sasuke defended, eyes furrowed "It's not bad to touch someone's butt! Especially if you like them! That's what my uncle Kakashi told me!" yep, his uncle Kakashi, a distant relative of them is super cool. He's much cooler than his big brother, and he teaches Sasuke a lot.
"But it's embawassing~~!" Naruto whined rather cutely.
"Then, I won't do it if someone's watching" Sasuke said rather seriously.
Naruto fidgeted; do Sasuke really find his butt really cute that he insists of touching it even though it's bad? He looked at Sasuke and saw how serious he is. "O-okay… if you insist" he said shyly, face red.
Sasuke gave Naruto a smile "Thank you Naru-chan!" the little pervert chirped "By the way, do you really want to be my best friend?" he asked, Naruto nodded eagerly "Can we become best fwends Sasu-kun?"
"But you are my bride" Sasuke whispered "Well, I guess it's okay to be best friends first. But you must promise me something" Sasuke said seriously, looking at Naruto's beautiful eyes, said blonde nodded "You must promise me that I'm your only best friend. And that you are going to be my bride"
Naruto titled his head to the right in a very cute manner, making Sasuke excited for some unknown reason.
Naruto is confused, what does a bride means? Sasuke also mentioned it earlier, and bride seems embarrassing, but if it would mean that he and Sasuke will be together always then its fine, right? Sasuke is really nice if he's not going to act weird "Okay. I pwomise that Sasu-kun is my numbew one best fwend and da only one! And I also pwomise to be Sasu-kun's bwide" Naruto said with his right hand raised as if taking an oath.
Sasuke smiled at him which Naruto returned tenfold. Then, Sasuke remembered something. He remembered that his uncle Kakashi told him that if he loves someone, he can kiss them on the lips. Yep, he's uncle Kakashi is really cool! So with that, he planted a sloppy kiss at Naruto's cute pouty lips.
Naruto blushed really hard. Kissing someone on the lips is only for adults, it's not for children their age right? But then again, it was Sasuke. So it was totally fine, right? After a few seconds, Sasuke removed his lips from Naruto's; he then moved out of the bed and held out his hand for the cute blonde to take.
"Let's go, I'm going to talk to our parents" Sasuke said, Naruto beamed at him "Okay"
.. S x N ..
At the living room where a rather awkward silence surrounded it, the four adults are having a hard time processing just what had happened to the youngest Uchiha, and just a few minutes ago, Naruto went to Sasuke's room – they are wondering if the little ball of sunshine is alright and… safe.
While dear Itachi is silently fuming; honestly, he didn't do anything for his foolish little brother to accuse him of something totally ridiculous! He's not the one who touched Naruto's butt for crying out loud! And he didn't steal him away from Sasuke for goodness sake! What was his foolish baby brother thinking?
Sometimes, he wonders if Sasuke really is supposed to be born as a human. Because there are times when his baby brother would act like a total alien!
And Uchiha's don't act like an alien because they are definitely not an alien!
It's either Sasuke is an alien from planet Shuwariwap, or he's just totally possessed by a powerful evil spirit. He do hope it was the latter so he could somehow save his baby brother; find a priest to exorcize Sasuke or something, because he doesn't want to fight some retarded alien from planet Shuwariwap and be turn like one of them if he didn't win the fight; he wants to stay human.
A visible vein is popping out from his young handsome face "Hn" he thought, which we will translate as "This is stupidity at its best".
Back at the two adorable chibis, they are ten chibi steps away from the living room when Sasuke stopped and looked at Naruto "Naruto-chan, how about you stay here for a moment? I'm going to talk to our parents, and things might get bloody. I don't want you to be traumatize" Sasuke said in all his serious cutesy chibi glory. Naruto tilted his cute golden head to the right in confusion, not really understanding what his best friend means. After a few seconds, he slowly nodded to Sasuke, his sparkling big blue eyes looking straight at Sasuke's black ones.
Sasuke kissed Naruto's whiskered cheek making said blonde blush before he confidently walked towards the living room; looking as mighty as ever.
He knew that asking his future bride's parents for said bride's hand for marriage will be difficult; especially since his chosen bride is a boy like him. His uncle Kakashi told him so, his cool uncle explained him that sometimes, things would get out of hand and the bride's family would often than not become violent, specially the father.
So if things get bloody "I would be able to protect Naru-chan's innocence so he won't be traumatized" (a sound of someone coughing could be heard in the background).
Sasuke cleared his throat to get the adults and his brother's attention; he'll deal with Itachi after his talk with their parents. He looked at them with his head held high, looking as serious and tough as a six year old Uchiha could pull off.
The four adults sweat dropped and shared a look with each other upon seeing Sasuke's posture, while Itachi felt like his head would explode through the vein that was popping nonstop out of his head.
"Listen" Sasuke started, arms crossed against his chest "I've talked to Naruto about this, and we came to an agreement. Naruto is going to be my bride, he agreed! So you four adults…" he said pointing an accusing finger at his and Naruto's parents "are going to do something about it! Make a contract or something that would state that Naruto is going to be my bride! MINE MINE MINE!" then he glared at Itachi "And you! Yes, you! The one and only weasel! You're not allowed to think or touch Naruto in a wrong way! He's my bride so you better back off!" he declared bravely before he ran out of the living room and leaned against a wall, panting.
"Yes! I did it! I just made a peaceful and excellent conversation with our parents! Ha! I'm the man!" he thought, doing a little victory dance inside his excellent head "Things didn't get bloody!" he added in his thought, completely ignoring the small voice at the back of his mind that was saying "Uh-huh, like, you totally ran away" or something like that.
He then walked towards Naruto who was looking at him curiously "I'm done, and it's a success. One of these days, the two of us are going to sign a contract from the lawyer that would state that you are my bride. Let's go and play at the game room. We can play house if you want." he said before he took Naruto's hand as they headed to the game room.
"Ne, Sasu-kun"
"What is it Naru-chan?"
"If I'm a bwide… does it mean dat you awe a bwide too?" Naruto asked cutely
Sasuke looked at Naruto with a raised brow before he looked away "No, Naru. I'm not a bride, I'm a groom"
"Huh? A broom?"
"A groom, Naru. It means that I'm going to be a husband and you as my bride will become a wife"
"What is a wife, Sasu-kun?" asked the cute innocent blonde, his big blue eyes full of wonder and adoration for his best friend Sasuke because said best friend knew a lot of things.
Sasuke stopped and looked at Naruto "Something that you will find out when you grow up. Right now, just know that you are my bride, my future wife, and no one will take you away from me"
Naruto don't really understand fully well everything that Sasuke said, but he trust his best friend. At least they would always be together and won't be apart, right? And nothing's bad with what Sasuke planned for them, right? Right? Err… right, I guess.
.. S x N ..
Back at the living room, Fugaku cleared his throat awkwardly "Well… what do you say, Minato?" he asked rather unsurely "Eh, haha. I uh…" Minato stopped; not really knowing what to say. The two then realized that Kushina and Mikoto are rather quiet, they looked at them slowly, only to find the two ladies grinning widely, their eyes gleaming evilly "Uh oh, I forgot, the two of them are an avid yaoi fangirls since middle school" Minato and Fugaku thought with a sweat drop before they looked at each other.
"Well, didn't we plan on marrying our children with each other?" Fugaku asked his blonde friend, not really sure what he's saying at all.
Minato looked thoughtful for a moment before he nodded "Uh, yeah, we did talk about that during high school. So, should we? With the two of them, even though they're both boys?"
"I don't really mind, after all, your son is like a ray of sunshine. And you do know that I have a soft spot for your son" said Fugaku, Minato just nodded "Although, I am worried for Naruto-kun. Worried about him because of Sasuke" Fugaku added, Minato just laughed awkwardly.
Kushina and Mikoto then squealed like teenagers and started giggling, talking to each other about "cute blonde wearing a dress", "pink", "flowers", "frilly", "grandchildren", "manly raven seme", "adorable blonde uke" and whatnot.
Minato and Fugaku looked at their wives horrified; horrified for their sons, horrified for poor sweet Naruto's future.
Itachi snorted, gaining the two adult men's attention "I'd rather stay away from them. Women like them are rather dangerous" he said with a shake of his head before he exited the living room.
"Want to play chess?" Fugaku asked "Yeah" was Minato's answer. With a last look at their wives with a worried expression, the two friends left the living room.
*Time skip*
Sasuke is sprawled on his bed as he wrote down the last word on his diar- err… journal. Once done he smiled to himself and read what he wrote.
'Journal thingy,
Hn.
Today, I met my bride. His name is Namikaze-Uzumaki Naruto. And he's the most beautiful person I've ever met.
His hair is bright and yellow, just like the sun. His eyes are a very beautiful shade of blue. There are three whisker-like marks on each side of his cheeks; it's really cute especially when he's blushing! His lips are soft and cute too and always pouting! I just love how it feels like whenever I kiss it! (I was able to kiss his lips five times today!) His skin is smooth and like a caramel color!
Really beautiful, isn't he? Hn.
His voice is beautiful too. I love how it sounds whenever he talk, laugh, or giggle. Especially whenever he squeals, it's so cute to hear!
Aside from that, he has a very soft, firm, and cute round butt! You have no idea how much I love squeezing it! I personally think that it was made for me to squeeze. I just can't help it, whenever he turn around or bend over, I feel like it's my obligation to squeeze it – which of course I did happily. And the way Naruto looks whenever I squeeze his butt is wonderful! He would blush really hard and he would emit beautiful sounds every time I squeeze his butt for a few times before we go back to playing cars and action figures. I can't even count how many times I have squeezed his butt today!
Mother told me that Naruto and his parents are moving next weekend to our neighborhood. And they will move at the mansion next to ours! How cool is that? Hn. I will be able to spend time with him everyday once they move in next to us. I can't wait.
The mighty one,
Sasuke
PS: I want to see how cute and feel how smooth Naru-chan's butt is without a piece of cloth hindering my eyes and hands!
Sasuke then put his journal under his pillow; he moved out of his bed to turn off the light before he climbed back up and lied down. He smiled to himself; he can't wait for the next weekend to come.
Not even bothering to put his blanket over him, he closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep; a small smile on his face.
.. S x N ..
Itachi yawned softly as he walked towards his bedroom. When he reached his room, he was about to open the door when he stopped. He looked at the door behind him "Hn. I wonder what my crazy baby brother is doing" he thought. He walked towards Sasuke's room, and without hesitation, he opened door quietly. The room is a little dark when he opened the door and he realized that his baby brother is already asleep; the only light was coming from the moon that was shining through Sasuke's window as the curtains were drawn in half.
Itachi sighed when he noticed that Sasuke has no blanket on. He walked inside the room without a sound towards his baby brother, he grabbed the blanket that was thrown at the corner of the bed and gently covered Sasuke.
Sasuke shifted a little "Naru… let's play house… you're… the mother" the youngest Uchiha muttered in his sleep, Itachi smirked "Sleep talking, otouto?" he asked, voice low and soft "Back off… of my bride… aniki" added the sleeping Sasuke. Itachi bit his lip to keep from laughing out loud, he softly poked Sasuke's forehead and heard a low growl from Sasuke which caused him to snicker quietly.
"Goodnight… foolish cute-blonde-fox-obsessed little brother" he said quietly before he left Sasuke's room.
"Hn. Looks like I have a new baby brother to watch over" Itachi thought with a smile before he went inside his room to write another note on his own journal.
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RS: phew… erm… sorry for a little late update..? xD anyway… i'll do my best to post another chapter next week… :3
