Color Coded
Rachel was the kind of person who planned everything; from her study schedule to the amount of time she was to take a bath. She believed that no respectable person would be caught dead without a schedule which is why she had a planner. Her planner was filled with schedules for everything and she was proud to say that they were all color coded. So she felt, that as president of her babysitting company, it was her civic duty to create a fun schedule for all the little tots. She had already made a schedule on last week's babysitting and when Puck jumped on board the bandwagon she decided to give him his own planner. Knowing very well how irresponsible he was she decided to start making his day planner ahead.
"What the hell is this?" Puck asked as Rachel shoved into his nose a brown notebook during a break from their Glee Club practice.
"Well, I feel that it is my duty as keeper of the children to provide you with a planner so you will be up to date with the different activities I planned. Also I have started writing in it and color coded it. Red means that that planned activity is still pending therefore the yellow is the back-up activities…."
Puck completely zoned out and he flipped the notebook open. Sure enough the first two pages were filled with a neat, tidy scrawl and many were highlighted with different colors. The first page was filled with the schedule and pick up points of the children he was supposed to pick up.
"No way."
"Excuse me?"
"This is so pointless! I don't need a dumb planner!" Puck growled.
Rachel looked extremely miffed.
"Noah, if you are really sincere in your intentions to be my assistant—''
"Partner."
"Fine! Partner! As I have said if you are really sincere in your intentions to be my partner in this partnership than you will follow a systematic, orderly and efficient schedule and I suggest that you will not continue to rely on me to fill out this planner. You should learn to make your schedule and to color code it. Here," she paused rummaging her trolley bag. She took out lots of highlighters tied together by a rubber band. She gave it to Puck who just raised a brow.
"This is to help you start out," Rachel said.
"Seesh Berry. Chill. You can't control life," Puck said taking the highlighters.
"I am not controlling my life. I am simply manipulating it to the way I want it. A true sign of control," Rachel said zipping her trolley bag up.
Puck faked cough and said, "Over controlling!"
Rachel rolled her eyes and said, "Oh, and Noah I will be riding with you today."
"Why? You've got a car."
"Well, true but I want to asses how you handle the children so I will know if you are capable of driving and picking them up," Rachel said.
"Look, Berry! I'm not an idiot!"
"You couldn't even keep your math books! And they don't talk or move!" Rachel snapped.
…
"You drive a truck?" Rachel asked horrified.
"So?" Puck retorted.
"Well, it looks so…old and…."
"Like it's about to fall apart?" Puck snapped.
"Yeah…."
To Rachel's surprise Puck wasn't offended in the least. Instead he tapped his windshield fondly and said, "Yup. But you'd be surprise what my baby survived. If I could, I'd marry her…."
And to Rachel's disgust he leaned over and kissed it. Kissed it with all it's dusty, fly splattered glory.
"Well?"
"Hmmm?"
"Get in!" Puck said and Rachel hopped in.
"So who's first?" Puck asked as he revved up the engine.
"That is what your planner is for," Rachel said smugly.
"Why don't you have one?" Puck demanded.
Rachel pulled out a similar notebook except it was pink with golden stars plastered neatly on it. Puck rolled his eyes and opened his planner. He double rolled his eyes as he looked at the entire page.
"The first is Jon Dent," Puck read.
"All right, let's get to it then," Rachel said enthusiastically.
Suddenly they heard laughter. Puck looked through his rearview mirror and found Matt, Mike and Finn all laughing and walking towards them. Thinking fast he pushed Rachel downwards.
"Hide!" he hissed. He did not want word of this to get out.
"No need to push," she retorted.
Puck rolled his eyes. As the trio neared he saw Finn freeze up. Obviously Finn hadn't forgiven him yet. Finn called the two to come closer and Matt and Mike both nodded. Finn went to the exact opposite direction and the two veered towards his truck.
"Hey, Puck give us a lift man!" Mike said.
"No can do. Got a hot date tonight," he smirked.
"I thought that with a baby on board you would stop playing the field," Matt said.
"I'm a stud. Studs don't go steady," Puck said arrogantly.
"Yeah, well Finn's still hates you," Mike said.
"Genius observation Changster," Puck said sarcastically.
"Well we won't keep you," Matt said and they both left. Puck breathed a sigh of relief before whistling for Rachel to come up again. Rachel did so but not before primly dusting of her skirt.
"Well, keep your seatbelt on babe. My baby can ride fast," Puck said.
He wasn't lying.
…
Puck had realized something. He hated children.
He had made this realization when his baby sister was first born and now this realization had come back again in full force. There were going to be eleven of them all in all, including his demonic little sister. They had finished picking up nine, without his sister yet. Rachel refused to let them sit at the back so they were crammed inside.
They yelled. They cried. They got stains on his baby. Puck could literally run himself over.
"Why don't we all sing a song?" Rachel suggested.
And that's when mixed songs of A Whole New World, Beauty and the Beast and We're All in This Together (from High School Musical) drowned his Beatles' Hey Jude song. Puck was on the point of yelling at everyone when Rachel kindly reminded him the hefty amount he'll get.
"You children just…sing," he sighed slumping.
"Oh Noah? We still have to pick up Gabe Summers. He lives in the a cottage near the forest so—''
"Are you insane? I'm not driving all the way for—''
Rachel glared at him and said through gritted teeth, "50-50 effort or 75-25 paycheck?"
Puck sighed and he turned his car sharply around. The turned caused a few of the children to squeal. He knew it did him no good but it was good to see the satisfaction of Rachel's alarmed face.
…
"Are you and Noah a prince and princess Rachel?" a boy, Samson Crow said.
"What!?" both Rachel and Puck cried in alarm.
"Well…because you're awfully pretty Rachel and Noah is handsome…sort of….and—''
"Sort of!? Sort of!? Have you seen my guns? My abs?" Puck said turning around.
"No we are most certainly not engaged in some fairytale relationship. We are hardly even friends. I am not a princess but I will become a star…" Rachel said falling into a reverie.
"You're gonna become a star? Like the ones in the sky?" Jannylene Carlson asked.
"No. A star has many different meanings. It can mean a hot ball of floating gas in space but what I mean is that I will become a thespian and a famous singer—''
"She's gonna be like Jasmine in Aladdin," Puck said noticing their confused looks. Everyone looked impressed.
"And what are you gonna be Noah?" Jon Dent asked.
"Me? I'm a professional badass," Noah said.
All the children in the car squealed.
"Rachel, he said a bad word!" they yelled.
"Noah!"
…
"Well?" Puck asked impatiently.
"Gabe's father said he's in the woods trying to attain some berries. To save some time I suggest that we go look for him," Rachel said jumping back in the truck.
"Hey Rachel can we go with you to find Gabe?" Vince Colbe asked.
Rachel raised a brow and frowned, "I don't know…."
"Oh please…" they all chimed.
"Come on Berry. I saw all the activities you've got planned and believe me…they all suck," Puck said jumping out of his truck.
Rachel opened her mouth ready to retort something when a little boy just wailed.
"I wet my pants…," he said.
"See what being bored out of their minds made them do?" Puck said.
Rachel sighed and said, "Let's go ask for a map."
…
The first part of their impromptu field trip was all well. They had found Gabe and they were ready to go back when they (and Rachel was sure that it was Noah's fault) took a wrong turn. Rachel could feel the tension and panic rise in the air although she tried her best to keep the children's ignorance of their real situation she knew that some of them were beginning to suspect that they were lost.
"You oaf! You obviously blundered and got us lost!" Rachel hissed pulling Puck aside.
"Me? You're the one holding the map!" Puck said accusingly.
"So?"
"I think we should tell them Berry," Puck said worriedly. The sun was beginning to set and he had heard Gabe tell the other children that bears lived in the forest.
"No! We have to keep them from knowing our real situation. Don't worry. I was a girl scout once," Rachel said.
"Well what do I do?" Puck hissed.
"Keep them entertained."
Puck was pretty sure that they passed that particular tree already although Rachel kept claiming that it was a different tree. The sky was a bit dark and he could see lines of orange in the horizon. It wasn't long before the children started wailing about hunger and one got poison ivy.
Puck was sure that they would get fired after this whole fiasco and his heart sank. He really needed the money.
Rachel kept her nose buried on the map. Puck, bored to listening the children talk about toothaches and tooth fairies went over to Rachel to have a more mature person to talk to.
"All, right. I admit it. We're lost," Rachel said on verge of tears.
"This is your entire fault," Puck said accusingly.
"Doesn't Gabe know the way?"
"You got us lost so far, the kid doesn't even recognize the place," Puck snapped.
"You're the on that had to persistently insist on going in this unplanned excursion," Rachel huffed.
"We're probably all gonna die of starvation and hunger. Or we'll be eaten by bears," Puck grumbled.
Rachel looked genuinely afraid.
"Really?"
"What!? I ain't from Brokeback Mountain," Puck said.
They walked on silently for awhile. Behind them they could hear the children talking amongst themselves.
"I think this is one of those moments in which I think back in all the things that's happened in my life and I say something to you about it or some shit 'cause I might not be alive to see you," Puck said.
"How clichéd," Rachel said.
"Can you think of anything better to do?" Puck retorted.
"Fine. Is this like those movies where hated archenemies confess what they really think of each other?" Rachel asked.
"Sure," Puck shrugged.
"Well you go first," Rachel urged.
"Okay, sure. I always thought you were sort of hot," Puck shrugged casually.
"Excuse me?" Rachel said.
"You know. Erotically beautiful, sexy—''
"I think even I am up to date with teenage lingo," Rachel said sourly.
"What!? You're offended that me, Noah Puckerman, resident sexy stud thinks you're hot?"
"You said sort of."
"If you weren't such an O.C. pirmadonna—''
"Well I think you are an arrogant, egotistical, conceited, supercilious, self-important and condescending ass!" Rachel snapped.
"What!? And you never thought that I was hot?"
"Not in the slightest."
"Why? I mean I'm like a human chocolate. That every girl wants to bite off."
"More like a human jerk-y," Rachel huffed.
"I don't get it."
"Excuse me for my hackneyed joke but what I meant to say was that you're a jerk," Rachel said.
"But a hot jerk, right?"
Rachel didn't answer.
"Ha! I am some hot piece of ass right Berry?" Puck asked teasingly.
"Oh be unobtrusive!" Rachel growled.
It became silent again.
"Noah, why do you throw slushies at me?" Rachel asked suddenly.
"What!?"
"I mean what do you have against me that makes you want to throw flavored iced drinks at me? I was the first person you slushied in our freshman year."
Puck looked uneasy but before he could answer he suddenly stopped.
"What!?" Rachel said irritated.
"Listen."
And he was right. Rachel could hear sounds. Fire sirens in fact.
"Omigosh! We're back!" Rachel squealed in delight.
"Yeah, well get ready to face the music babe," Puck muttered.
Rachel motioned all the children to come closer and just as Rachel thought they found the main road with Mr. and Mrs. Summers there looking worried. Rachel bit her lip. A thousand apologies ran through her mind and she was rehearsing how to say it. She and Puck both came forward and instead of finding an angry Mr. and Mrs. Summers they both hugged her and Puck.
It was obvious that they were both confused. The media was all there with TV cameras. Rachel froze. How long have they've been gone?
"Mr. Summers I am truly sorry…"
But before Rachel could speak Mr. Summers hugged her again and said, "Say no more child. We know that you're about to apologize for—''
"We didn't mean for it to happen. Don't send us to juvy!" Puck said hysterically from behind.
"For not informing us but we know you did it to save our children," he said before turning to a camera.
"These clever youngsters saw the smoke and they must have realized that the Lima wild fire was spreading so they kept our children safe in the forest until they saw that there was no more fire. For that, I'm so happy that teenagers today still have the basic skills," he said choking up.
Puck raised a brow, giddy with disbelief.
Rachel for once, was speechless.
…
"I can't believe we got off scotch free. God loves us!" Puck said practically jumping on his seat.
"I do agree that it is an unusual piece of chance but I think that we shouldn't cater to a door-to-door pick-up after this fiasco," Rachel said as Puck drover her home.
"Whatever. We're off the hook!" Puck said.
"Yes and….Oh no!"
Puck turned to Rachel.
"What happened? Don't tell me! You got poisoned by some unknown poisonous plant!" Puck said sarcastically.
"No," Rachel said on the verge of tears.
"I lost my planner. And it was color coded," she sobbed.
…
I'm really sorry for Schneider's List. I guess I have to double check my refernces before putting it up on the net. Anyway thanks for the reviews and keep reviewing! The next update might be tomorrow or on Sunday.
