"…And then I was hoping you could fix that stretch of fencing along the MacTavishs' land."
Jaspert shifted the sack of flour on his shoulder as he waited for his mother to open the front door. "You're not going to give me a second to even think about taking her up, are you?"
She shot him a pointed look. "I'm not going to encourage that." She strode into the kitchen, setting her packages on the table.
"Aye, because not encouraging her stopped her last time." Jaspert set the groceries he was carrying on the table and walked over to the pantry. He opened the door and dropped the sack of flour on the floor in the corner. When he returned, his mother was staring out the window, arms crossed in front of her chest.
"If there was something she could make of it, like you have, maybe it'd be different. If I could know it wouldn't all be taken from her someday, that I could let her run around in trousers and go flying every day of the year without worrying about her finding a husband or being talked about behind her back, that there wouldn't come a day when she would have to give it up, things would be different. The world has a way of being cruel to those who don't follow its rules."
"I want those things for her too, but that's her choice -" His mother cut him off sharply.
"I can't have her hurt again! What if I let you take her out, and then once you're gone and she's had a taste of it, she tries to go out on her own? She'll give into temptation and crash again. You saw what she did to that balloon. I don't even think it's salvageable, really. Don't know why we've kept it…" She shook her head. "That was the second time I thought the sky had taken her. I won't have a third."
"She knows now she can't handle a big one on her own. She won't try that again." Jaspert began unpacking their purchases in silence. The only sound was the rustling packages and the opening and closing of cupboard doors.
After a moment he spoke again, voice low. "You know what she told me? She told me she doesn't feel whole. She said without flying, she's losing hope. She's disappearing. And you're just going to sit there and let her disappear."
He looked up to see his mother's face soften. "When did she say that?"
"Yesterday. On the roof." He watched as his mother's eyes widened with concern. "Aye. She's been up on the roof again."
The two of them put away the rest of the groceries silently. Jaspert was just about to leave when she spoke.
"You think if she could fly, she'd be happy again." It was less of a question than an outright statement.
"I think if you took everything from her but flying, she'd be happy again."
.
"Hey." Deryn hopped up on a newly-mended fence rail.
"Careful there, I just fixed that." Jaspert wiped his forehead with the back of his hand and climbed up to sit next to her.
"She's trying to keep you too busy to take me up, isn't she?" She bounced her heels off the fence post, skirt hiked up around her knees.
"Aye. But I talked to her. I think she might be reconsidering."
Deryn heaved a sigh. "She'll never let me go by myself. Once you're gone I'm grounded again."
"Probably," he agreed. He watched her boots swinging next to him, the sun reflecting dully across the old leather.
"Take me back with you." He looked up to see Deryn peering at him.
"Where? To London?" Jaspert laughed. "If Mum won't let you go up in the balloon with me, what makes you think she'd let you take a trip to London with me?"
"Not to London! Well, I mean, yes, to London, initially. But to the Minotaur!" She looked so pitifully hopeful that for once, Jaspert knew what his mother meant when she said she didn't want Deryn to get her hopes up.
"Are you daft? I was only joking before."
Deryn knit her eyebrows together. "I'm not joking now."
"They don't take girls in the Service. You know that."
"So I won't be a girl! You said it yourself at dinner. Maybe it won't work, but it's something." She leaned forward, elbows on her knees, head bowed. "You don't understand. I'd do anything, anything, to fly. You can help me or not, but I'll find a way."
Strands of hair that had escaped her braid fell around her face, obscuring her expression, but Jaspert knew just how her eyebrows would be pinched together. "You know I'd do anything to get you flying again."
She turned her head to look up at him. "I know you would. But you're not the one who's got me trapped here."
Short update is short, I know :/ Sorry to let you down. The next chapter is longer, I promise. Thanks to everyone who has reviewed so far! Please keep reviewing, I love hearing from you! It keeps me motivated :D
