The Dark Knight of Naboo

Elan Sel'Sabagno, a Deathstick dealer on Coruscant, was in the process of fleeing for his life. It was supposed to be just another meeting with his suppliers, but everything went...wrong.Out of nowhere, his suppliers were being flung into walls, slammed into the ground, and just being tossed around in general. The truly frightening part was that there was no attacker. They just... lifted off the ground and started flying into things.

Elan ducked around a corner, and stopped to catch his breath, when it suddenly felt as if something grabbed his throat. Elan was then yanked up into the air, only stopping when he reached the rooftop of the building, nearly a kilometer up. He was then spun around,to look directly at a...human shaped thing standing on the ledge. It was completely black, from the armor, to the cape, to the intimidating helmet that hissed out every breath.

"Where do your suppliers get their materials?" The being asked in a deep bass.

"What? This is a small operation, they buy from lots of places!"

"I see you wish to insult me. Allow me to provide a demonstration as to why that was… unwise."

The 'grip' released, and Elan fell. He was 'gripped' again mid-fall, slowing his descent to a stop mere inches from the ground. Then he was yanked up once more, until he was looking the figure in the eye again.

"You are small time, and your suppliers mere middle men. I do not care about you or them. I want…"

"The guy at the top? No one knows who he is!" Elan said, before the 'grip' around his throat tightened into an outright choke.

"I do. And never interrupt me again. No, I want the ones in between."

The 'grip' loosened, allowing Elan to speak.

"I don't know anything! I swear to the Force!"

"Swear to me." The figure said, before dropping Elan again, and repeating his ascent.

"Okay! Okay! I'll tell you everything I know!" Elan pleaded. And so, he told the figure everything.

The figure nodded in approval, and then dropped him.

Elan screamed all the way down, before he was caught once again, slowing him until his contact with the ground was a soft 'thud' rather than a hard 'splat'.

The figure strode to an awaiting speeder, driven by an orange droid.

"Incredulous Query: Not a single fatality? You disappoint me, Master. And if we weren't going to kill them, why mess with these meatbags?"

The figure took his helmet off, revealing the face of Anakin Skywalker.

"What can I say? I'm on the patch. I promised Padmé I'd cut back on the killing. And we are 'messing with these meatbags' in order to hit their 'parent' organization, which feeds money and intel to Sidious. He always did like using the scum of the galaxy to his advantage."

"Exasperated Statement: And here I thought I would be having fun being owned by the man who killed the most Jedi in history."

"That was a long time ago. You either die the villain, or live long enough to see yourself become the hero."

"Confused declaration: That statement makes no sense. At all."

They sat in silence for a moment.

"Query: If you are no longer willing to kill, why not just leave everything to your pet pacifist Senator?"

"Padmé is the hero the galaxy deserves, but not the one it needs."

The droid looked at his Master, waiting for him to start making sense.

"...Which means you and I are going to go shoot, slice, stab, blow up, strangle, and otherwise murder or maim the population of the cartel's headquarters. I said I'd cut back, not stop."

"Relieved Exclamation: Thank the Maker! You had me worried, Master. Don't scare me like that!"


AN: Sorry about the wait, and the next chapter of Dark Lord of Naboo should be out soon.