This one's longer to make up for not updating in a long while. Hopefully you guys are still reading!!!
Jean groaned. Rouge had needed to be pulled offstage by the school's newly minted paid-by-the-hour security guards, guys who looked like they'd programed a 'Hank' and a 'Peter' into their image inducers, after she'd ripped off her gloves and dove into Alex Trebeck Junior, ready to suck his soul out of his mouth. An intermission had been announced, mostly to allow the boy to get wheeled out to the nurse's office, screaming about the Teletubbies. Jean had hated that show, even as a five year old. It seemed to broadcast all these disturbingly saturated and colorful thoughts. Always gave her a headache.
Like the thoughts ringing around in the hall. Wow, the X-Men are like totally creepy. What is up with the bald dude, physics isn't even on my list this year! That Jean Grey...damn! Am I the only one who thinks Wolverine was the guy in Australia? Cyke is sooo hot. Had they really been that bad?
She and Kitty were perched on the tops of the sink tables in the girls washroom, while Ororo had flipped over a garbage can and was sitting on the bottom, using a tissue dispenser for a footrest, completely unteacher-like . ' Well, we probably killed our chances of having positive human-mutant relations in the future.', Kitty sighed, toying with her boot buckles. 'I wouldn't be so harsh.', Jean told the younger girl. Ororo shook her head and laughed. 'She's right Kitty. They won't see mutants as dangerous anymore, we'll simply be crazy. From SHEILD's sub-basement to a cozy padded room. Quite a leap, ladies.' Jean glared in return, which only spurred Storm even more.
'Jean, you practically used Scott as a pole up there. Xavier managed to put the weaker ones to sleep, and you've managed to pinpoint our school for lawsuits from some British children's author. Not to mention that ridiculous country music jab that sent Rouge out of the frying pan.' Kitty's eyes widened. 'The frying pan...Geez, where've you been picking up English anyway? Emma? Or that TV Show version of her on the angsty thing about Logan and the rest of us that Xavier only signed the deal for because he realized eleven-year-olds are the world's most marketable demographic?' Jean laughed at that one.
'Tell you what, Ororo, if you can somehow keep the kids' attention and get our squeaky Prof X reviewed and approved reputations back, Kitty and I will hand over all the profits from that fake 'School Benefit' Circus Kurt set up.', Jean told her with a chuckle. ' Y'mean the thing that was on CNN at that bar Logan took me to? That let's-demonstrate-acrobatics-by-hanging-Nick-Fury-from-Xavier's-bathroom-window? I'm sure the Republicans love us, Jean.'
Jean jerked back with a small smile. 'Since when do you go to bars with Logan?' Storm shrugged and held out her hand to shake on it. 'Fine. With the way the markets are, I could use several thousand dollars in replay royalties.', she said, ignoring the looks on her teammates faces.
Cyclops, fearless leader of the X-Men, was cowering in a corner, trying to throw off a gang of mixed bubbly tween girls and hardcore comic geeks holding out posters and trade editions. Crap, who the heck is Grant Morrison, anyway? And since when can you buy a poster of me...shirtless?! Really, he was far more worried about that part, what would Jean do to him if she thought he was posing for half nude shots? A litany of threats ran through his mind. Ah, she wouldn't do that. She's only ever threatened Emma with that one...
SPLAT! His thoughts were interrupted by the squishy impact of some red (weren't they all?) slimy...thing. 'Hey!', he shouted into the empty hallway. 'Hey! Fine, I have your moth-', he stopped short of his favorite threat at the Institute,'-Principal's number!' SPLAT! 'Hey!' SPLAT!! Scott whirled, his eyes sweeping to the open hallway window. Hey, I knew that.
Rushing to the ledge, he scanned the litter-filled, yet otherwise empty schoolyard. I must be going...
SPLAT! 'HEY!'
Scott found a tree near the fence, from which a group of young boys were perched, a box of 'Granny Goodness' Best Tomatoes'. Now I've Got you! He leaned over the edge of the window, nearly laughing as he aimed his visor at a branch just under the boys. They wouldn't fall, but they'd be scared enough to stop. However, no amount of Danger Room practice prepared him for the janitor's hallway-wide
broom. 'Whoooaaa!' He took quick stock when he landed. Nothing broken...but... 'Dude! Will you sign my copy of Ultimate X-Men #38?'
Jean only wondered a little bit when Scott was nowhere to be seen after the 'intermission'. She was too busy containing herself as Ororo began her introduction to the students. For all her intelligence, Jean's friend still hadn't learned never to make a bet with a telepath, despite the face she'd once cleaned Storm out a month's salary when she'd bet on Logan taking dance classes. It hadn't exactly been easy (or pretty), but she'd taken Scott out for dinner at New York's hottest upscale eatery that night.
'My name is Ororo Munr-' She was interrupted right on cue by a boy in a Football team windbreaker. ' Hey, that sounds like Oreo!!! Do you twist, dip, and lick??', he boomed, producing a moment of silence, as Xavier's jaw hit the stage floor, before the room erupted into laughter. As long as the world churns out pubescent boys, it will churn out dirty jokes, Jean recited to herself. And you will be cleaning the school from floor to ceiling instead of attending that genetics conference with Hank in addition to running an extra danger room session with Logan every morning for a month. Hopefully, somewhere along the line you'll realize that you are a role model, not some dirty teenage boy fantasizing about Emma. The Professor shot back.
Excuse me? I'm not your 'student' anymore, I'm an adult and you can't punish me. Jean gave him a sideways glare. Really, I hadn't noticed. If I recall correctly, that's the exact type of behavior a certain eleven-year-old telepath was assigned the same punishment for a while back. The Professor's mouth twitched.
You are so...gay. Jean pouted like a child denied ice cream. The room still thundered with laughter.
Kitty and Bobby looked to be between mortified and close to killing themselves with pent up laughter. Logan held a small, secret , grin. Ha, I'm still an adult, you CAN'T MAKE ME. Jean was proud of her sudden breakthrough. What would Scott think if he knew about those fantasies you have about that Australian actor dressed as Wolverine?
Blackmail. Like you don't look twice every time we open up the pool. That is illegal, Mr. Xavier.
So is mind wiping traffic cops and threatening a senator to 'Go Phoenix' on him if he doesn't pass some law to exempt mutants from having to pay GST.
And I use misuse my powers?
Well...fine, you may attend the conference, however, you will do those sessions with Logan. You could use the exercise.
And what does that mean?
In their climaxing psi-debate, Jean and Xavier hadn't realized Logan beginning his introduction, stepping tactfully in front of a bewildered Ororo. 'I'm the Wolverine...I'm the very best at what I do.'
He stopped suddenly, realizing what 'do' implied to a roomful of kids who would drop dead if they say Emma's shadow. 'I mean...I'm a highly trained X-Man who....' spare giggle rocked the room. 'I'm uh, Logan from Canada, well I was...' OH COME ON!
