Lyrics by Bethany Joy Lenz and Saving Jane

Martin POV

The next couple of days were pretty busy with all of the Camden's rearranging their lives in order to spend more time with Rev. Camden.

Matt and Sarah had decided that they would stay the year in Glen Oak. They both requested transfers and moved in with Sarah's parents as they looked for places to live.

Mary and Carlos did the same and moved down the street a couple of houses away from Lucy and Kevin. Simon also moved into an apartment with two bedrooms and Ruthie moved out of Lucy's house and moved in with Simon.

I was surprised that the Camden's had allowed her to do that but it seemed as though they were all walking on egg shells around Ruthie and while I was curious to find out why I didn't want to mess up the tentative friendship Ruthie and I had began.

Though our friendship differed in the way we communicated I found myself telling Ruthie things I would have hesitated to share with her a year ago. Every time I believe I have a grasp on who Ruthie is as a person she surprises me. I have to admit I like that fact about her.

Of course I never mention the fact that I follow her when she makes her way to the church three times a week and if she notices that I sit in the back she seems content not to say anything.

The next couple of weeks went by as a pattern. During the day, I went to class and spent time with Aaron and listened to Sandy as she droned on about flowers, the menu, and seating arrangements and then I would find my self at the church listening to Ruthie play.

Some nights she would play something cheerful and upbeat but most days the music was heartbreakingly sad and beautiful.

"She's going to be mad when she realizes that you are stalking her" a voice said near my ear as I jumped up to see Matt standing over me smirking.

"What are you talking about?" I coolly asked even though my heart was pounding.

"You know what I'm talking about. I've watched you follow her here for the past two weeks"

"Maybe I was here praying besides just because this is a church doesn't mean she's safe"

"So you are just trying to protect her huh?" Matt asked as I nodded empathically and replied "Exactly"

"Well stop it. She has enough brothers doing that for her. Now I am going to give you some advice and you can take it or leave it. You are an engaged man and Ruthie still has feelings for you, so stop following her around. Don't give her false hope"

"I haven't encouraged her if that is what you are insinuating" I hissed hotly as Matt smirked and replied "You haven't exactly acted as though this wedding that my family is helping to plan is going to happen as well. Simon has met the florist more times than you"

"Really?" I asked a bit dazed. I hadn't really noticed that Simon had been around as much. It was probably because I tried to avoid him at all costs. However if he was actually involved in the wedding…why wouldn't Sandy have mention that to me?

"Why don't you go home and find out" Matt suggested as he read the look of confusion on my face. I nodded in agreement and then stood up as Matt said "Look if you don't love Sandy then don't marry her. It's that easy"

I snorted in response before replying "It's not that easy. We have a baby together. I made a promise to her. I can't just take that away because I don't love her. In time I may like her"

"In time you may like her?" Matt repeated horrified at my confession before continuing "If you are not in love with Sandy or even like her why are you doing this? You need to stop it"

"I know but…" as I tried to find the words to explain my thoughts to Matt I heard Ruthie singing the song she had sung last week. The haunting melody that had kept me up for half the night

Woe is me
Something dramatic like that
I could be Ophelia

Loves labor lost before it began
I'm not trying to be clever
I'm just saying what I am
Ophelia

Oh I'm turning over will
And I'm cleaning up this holy mess I've made

Everything is fine
Everything's okay
Everybody loves a fool
Everybody walks away
Everybody walks away

Ooh my love
Ooh lies
This has been such a sad affair
Such a sad affair
Oh and here I go again
I'm sinking in my faithlessness and fear

Everything is fine
Everything's okay
Everybody loves a fool
Everybody walks away
Everybody walks away

Oh I'm turning over will
And I'm cleaning up this holy mess I've made
I... I wanna feel your arms around me
I wanna know your love is real
I wanna give you all you've given to me
But I'm still afraid to kneel to you

Woe is me
something dramatic like that
I could be Ophelia

"Lucy was right. You are in love with her" Matt finally said as I looked at him and replied "In love? I'm not in love with Sandy"

"Well I know that and you know that but Sandy doesn't know that" Matt replied grumpily and then said "although I wasn't talking about Sandy, I was talking about Ruthie"

"What about Ruthie?" I asked him as I looked at him and he shook his head in annoyance and replied "My dad mentioned that you were smart but quite honestly I don't think you are very bright. You are in love with Ruthie"

Here we again I thought as I rolled my eyes and replied "Yes I do love Ruthie but I am not in love with her"

"Sure you're not" Matt finally said as he stood up and said "Well you should probably go before she sees you"

I nodded and stood up and walked out the church shaking my head. The Camden's and their crazy thoughts!

The next couple of weeks went by uneventful until I realized that something seemed to be missing from my life. For a while I thought I was just missing my mom but then I realized that I hadn't really speny any time with Ruthie after that day Matt had accused me of being in love with her. By staying away from her I was silently acknowledging that maybe he was right.

With that thought in mind I drove down to the high school to wait for Ruthie. Twenty minutes after the dismissal bell rang, I saw her walking out the door, the sunlight highlighting her curly locks. As I walked towards her she smiled and then asked "Did we have plans today?"

"No, I just thought it would be fun to hang out"

"Oh, that was nice of you but I kind of have plans" she replied as she continued walking.

"Do you mind if I tag along?" I asked as she stopped and looked up at me, considering the thought. She then shrugged and replied "I guess so"

"Cool, hop in" I replied as I opened the passenger side door for her and walked around to the driver's side.

"So where to?"

"The Glen Oak recording studio" she replied as she turned the radio station to another station.

"I was listening to that"

"And now you're not" she replied before sticking her tongue out at me and turning back to look out the paasenger side window.

"So how's school going for you? Junior year was really hard for me"

"It's not bad but I'm not a junior, I'm a senior"

"Excuse me?" I asked as we stopped at the red light and she turned to smile at me before explaining "I had a lot of extra credits when I was in Scotland and when I came back here, the principal told me I could graduate a year early and considering the situation with Dad... I just want him at my graduation you know?"

"Yeah I do" I quietly replied as we parked the car and got out. We walked inside where a tall blond boy was waiting.

"You're late" he said as Ruthie rolled her eyes and kissed him on the cheek before saying "Noah this is Martin. Martin, Noah"

"Hi" I said as Noah nodded at me before turning to Ruthie and saying "Love, you know I adore looking at your cute buttoned face but time is money and we are wasting it"

"I know, I'm sorry" Ruthie replied as she shot an apologetic smile at me and walked into the recording studio.

"So Martin?" Noah began as I looked at him

"Yes?"

"When is the wedding?"

"In a month" I replied surprised that Ruthie had told him that.

"Have you found a singer and band yet?"

"No why?"

"I have someone who would be perfect"

"Who were you thinking of?" I asked as he just smiled and turned his attention to the booth where Ruthie was putting on her headphones and made the sign to cue the music.

Filling up my empty days with red wine
Wonder what you think of me?
Lying in the grass alone and wasted
Nothing's how it used to be

I wanna be the first to call and tell you
Yesterday I heard the news
I hear you oughtta be congratulated
So I guess that's what I'll do

I'm so happy for you
I could cry
Yeah, I'm so elated
Cross my heart and hope to die
I don't think about you every night
Before I close my eyes
I'm so happy for you baby,
I could cry.

Listen to the sound of my head pounding
Wish that it was make-believe
Praying for the skies to open up and
Wash away your memory

I can walk around with a pretty face on
Even when I'm black and blue
What's the point in telling everybody
I'm not over you.

"What's the matter? You haven't heard her sing before?" Noah asked me as I shook my head and said "No I know she can sing, it's just she sings about such personal things"

"Well that singers do, they share their emotions and desires. It's what makes them great. They sing aboout things that people feel"

"Yes, I guess I just realize that I really don't know Ruthie. We use to be really great friends and lately I feel I'm just losing her"

"Well you should probably try to fix that problem, if your fiancee is okay with that of course"

"Why wouldn't she be?"

Noah laughed at bit as he looked at me and replied "Whether you realize this or not, Ruthie is beautiful and she is a wonderful person. Any guy that she choses is one lucky guy"

I looked closely at him as I started panicking. Was he in love with Ruthie?

Noah turned his attention back to Ruthie and contiuned making notes on his pad.

I'm so happy for you
I could cry
Yeah, I'm so elated
Cross my heart and hope to die
I don't think about you every night
Before I close my eyes
I'm so happy for you baby,
I could cry.

Cry about the love we used to have
Cry that I won't ever get you back

Filling up my empty days with red wine
Wonder what you think of me?

I'm so happy for you

I could cry

Yeah, I'm so elated

Cross my heart and hope to die

I'm so happy for you

So, so happy for you

I don't think about you every night

Before I close my eyes

I'm so happy for you baby,

I could cry.

Noah then gave her the thumbs up sign as she went straight into the next song

It's too late to say you're sorry
You've been gone from here too long
I hope you found what you were missing
Cause I don't miss you here at all

And it's too bad that I'm not crying for you baby,
Don't be sad, cause I've been fine without you lately

I'm saving my breath
I'm saving my tears
I'm saving my life for something
Better than these years
I've lost too much time
Crying over you
Don't look so surprised that I've
Got better things to do
Who's cryin now?

There's so many nights I wasted
I was waiting for your call
Did you think I'd wait forever?
I guess you don't know me at all

And I told you if you left you would regret it
Thinking I would take you back, but you don't get it

There's something you should know
I finally let you go
It had to end somehow
Tell me who's cryin now

"You need a little more edge on the last refrain love, but other than that it's golden"

Ruthie beamed at his praise before launching herself in his arms as he twirled her around. I cleared my throat and they hastily broke apart and Ruthie smiled at me and said "Well I need to get home and finish homework"

"No problem love, I'll call you a little later. Maybe we'll go get some dessert or something"

"Okay that would be fine. I'll most likely be at my parents for dinner if you want to stop by"

"Okay, I'll try to make it. Nice meeting you" Noah finally said to me as we walked out.

"You too" I replied.

Once we were in the car I asked "So are you and Noah an item?"

"Gosh no, can you imagine Mom and Dad's faces if they thought so? They would have a fit" she started laughing and then stopped and thought about it. "Well they might be okay about it, they do like him"

"They do?" I asked perplexed as Ruthie nodded

"How old is he?"

"20 and totally talented"

"and you're 16"

"Yes Dad I am but I'll be 17 in December, which is only a few weeks away"

"I guess" I said rejectedly as I drove in the Camden's driveway.

"Are you staying for dinner?" Ruthie asked as we got out and saw Sandy waiting for us outside. She did not look very pleased.

"Oh oh" Ruthie mumbled under her breath as she shot me an apologetic smile and said a tentative hi to Sandy.

"Hey" I said as Sandy looked at me and said "Where were you?"

"With Ruthie, why?"

"Of course you were with Ruthie, you spend so much time with her you may as well marry her instead of me"

"Sandy what are you talking about and where is Aaron?"

"Aaron! of course he is your first concern"

"Well he is my son" I retorted as she snorted a bit and I asked "Sandy what is going on? What are you talking about?"

"What am I talking about? Martin you missed our appointment with the caterer today"

"Oh" I said softly as Sandy rolled her eyes and repeated bitterly "oh. Luckily Simon offered to go with me and helped me to make some choices"

"Sandy look..I'm..."

"Martin, maybe we should go somewhere and talk"

That totally did not sound too positive. I thought as I nodded and followed her to my car.