General Knowledge
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The two teams convened in some random spot at nine thirty sharp the next morning. Tezuka showed up wearing jeans and a casual tee shirt.
"Oh, wow! I don't think I've ever seen Tezuka in anything other than a collared shirt!" Ryuzaki exclaimed.
Everyone sniggered.
"And pants!" she shouted angrily. "A collared shirt and pants! Obviously! Jeez, you guys are so immature......."
"Actually, these aren't my clothes; they're Oishi's," Tezuka explained.
"And why are you wearing Oishi's clothes, may I ask?" Ryuzaki asked, putting her hands on her hips.
Tezuka stood silently.
"....It's because his house burned down yesterday and he lost all his possessions," Sengoku said finally.
"Oh. Really? Well, you should get some new clothes then. You look dumb." said Ryuzaki, looking down at her clipboard.
The rest of the boys mouthed wordlessly at her insensitivity.
"Okay!" she said, looking up. "You know how yesterday I said that you guys would rarely be working on challenges together as an entire team?"
They nodded.
"Well, this is an exception. Since it's the first challenge, everyone is going to be participating in today's activity."
Everyone groaned. Tezuka raised his hand.
"I was actually thinking that maybe I could apply for a sob-story excuse," he said.
"What the hell is that?" Ryuzaki asked.
"Like....something bad happened to me, so I request to be excused from today's challenge. Does that count?"
"That depends. What happened to you?" she asked.
"Sengoku already told you. My house burned down," Tezuka said.
"Then, no." she said.
"What? But that's tragic as hell!"
"For Gods sake, Tezuka it's one freaking challenge!" Ryuzaki shouted. "If you'd prefer, I could just hand the championship over to Rikkaidai right now!"
"No," said Tezuka sulkily.
"Good." said Ryuzaki flatly. "Now, like I was saying before Tezuka wasted everyone's time, the first challenge today is going to be a full group one; kind of like an ice breaking experience.
"Oh, goody," said Yagyuu.
"Also, since it's the first challenge and you're all in it, I'm going to make it fairly easy and straightforward for you guys. Today's challenge is simply a written test."
"Only?" Inui straightened up and adjusted his glasses. "This might not suck as much as I thought it would."
"In this test, you're going to be questioned about general knowledge that everyone should know, being alive. That being said, you're a complete idiot if you don't know the answers to any of these questions. If that's not putting too much pressure on you, then I might add that for every wrong answer you write, someone on your team of my choice will get whipped."
"Whipped?" Kaidoh asked incredulously.
"Yes. What's the big deal? Stop looking at me like I'm Akutsu after the match with Ryoma or something!"
"Don't you think that's a little harsh?" asked Shishido.
"Not when you consider how long it took me to write these tests," she said.
"No one asked you to write them! In fact, I think everyone wishes you hadn't!" Jackal called.
Ryuzaki continued like she couldn't hear them,
"There are only ten questions on the test and I'm giving you thirty minutes to complete it, which is ridiculously generous. When you're done, I will be grading them with the help of Coach Sakaki."
At this point, coach Sakaki walked onto the scene from nowhere and all the Hyoutei boys snapped to attention.
"You didn't say there would be more than one judge!" Choutarou cried. "And he's our tennis coach! That puts on a lot more pressure!"
"Oh, didn't I mention that yesterday?" Ryuzaki asked in surprise, looking around.
Everyone looked at her blankly.
"I guess I forgot to tell you," she said, "one more rule about this is that in every challenge, you will of course be judged by me, but each challenge will also have one guest judge of my choice; preferably someone who has some experience in the field at hand."
"What does Sakaki know about multiple choice tests?" Hiyoshi asked dubiously.
"Hiyoshi, shut up," said Sakaki.
"So anyway, I'm going to hand out the tests now." Ryuzaki continued. "Once you get them, you are to be absolutely silent and complete them alone."
Marui raised his hand.
"Yes, what is it?" Ryuzaki asked impatiently.
"Is this like that one episode of Naruto where there's a test that the proctors say not to cheat on, but really you're supposed to cheat on it?" Marui asked, snapping his gum.
Ryuzaki stared at him.
".......no."
"Oh. Okay."
"How is this an ice breaker if we can't work together?" Kamio wanted to know.
"You can......talk after you're done!" Ryuzaki snapped. "Anything else?"
"How will our teams be judged?" Yanagi asked.
"I'll evaluate how you all did on the test, and then the team whose members did better overall wins the challenge," Ryuzaki said very quickly. She seemed to be getting very annoyed with all the questions. "Now no more questions! Everyone sit down and take out a pen and wait for your test!"
"I didn't know we had a test today; I don't have a pen!" complained Dan.
"Oh, get the hell out of here!" she shouted.
He happily got up and left.
"Hey, why does he get to leave?" the other teams instantly complained.
"You guys, I swear to God: if anyone says another word, I'll invite back the American tennis team from the anime series and force you guys to hang out with them!"
That shut everyone up. Ryuzaki seemed serious.
She handed out the tests quickly and then stepped back to stand with Sakaki and proctor the exam. Everyone sighed and looked down at the test.
Coaches Ryuzaki Sumire and Sakaki Taro….
Most Awesome Tennis Coaches in the Entire Universe...
Who Are Super Good at Everything…
And Who Write the most Bestest and Concise Tests Ever…
Are Proud to Present……
Test Of Ordinarily Landed Standards (T.O.O.L.S)
A comprehensive guide to how much you rock or suck
PART ONE: General Knowledge
"You're kidding. You split it up into different parts?" asked Atobe in disbelief.
"What's so surprising about that?" Ryuzaki asked defensively.
"It's ten freaking questions!" they all shouted.
"You're interrupting the flow of the test! Back to work!"
They all sighed.
1) What 1965 comedy was Woody Allen's debut film? ____________________________________
2) C10H15NO is the compound for which primary molecule of the plant Ma Huang? ________________________________________
The first derivative of 47x3+19x2-7x+23= ______________________
PART TWO: Anime
3) L from Death Note's favorite food is _______________________
4) Which episodes of Prince of Tennis can be safely skipped without detracting any meaning from the plot? ___ to ___
5) Which anime holds the world record for filler episodes that add absolutely nothing to the plot and just waste over a year of everyone's time? __________
6) In Fruits Basket, the character whose zodiac sign is a cow is
A. Yuki
B. Kyo
C. Hatsuharu
D. Hatori
E. Ayame
PART THREE: Reading Comprehension
Directions: Read the excerpt below and then answer the questions that follow (No kidding! 'Cause I totally wouldn't have guessed that that's what 'reading comprehension' meant…)
Among the many ferocious and wild beasts of Africa (and there are many ferocious, wild beasts), none is more bloodthirsty or terrifying that the infamous Googlypasha bunny rabbit. Though the name tends to inspire humor rather than fear in those who hear it, the Googlypasha bunny rabbit is not to be underestimated. In the year of 2008 alone, this bunny has been the leading cause of death among Africans ages four to sixty six and three months. Aside from its brilliant coat, which is so unbelievably resplendent that it instantly kills anyone who looks at it, and its poisonous fangs that kill anyone they touch, the Googlypasha bunny rabbit is in fact, so terrifying in concept that anyone who thinks about it carelessly instantly dies. For this reason, much remains unknown about the rabbit, such as what it looks like, where it lives, its patterns of behavior, etc. etc. However, scientists feel sure that in years to come, the Googlypoosha bunny rabbit will not only be successfully looked at, but people will even be able to think about it without dying. Funding for this cause has risen significantly this year. Russian biologist Yori Andropovovitch writes, "Scientists have come a long way in the sensing of these great and terrible creatures of Africa. I think that we can expect to be able to think of them without dying in a matter of years. This may be the most important scientific advancement since the first men stepped on the sun a few months ago."
-Dr. Andrea Cakesburner, June 5, 2009
8) Dr. Cakesburner's attitude towards the African Googlypasha bunny rabbit can best be described as…
A. uninterested
B. somewhat interested
C. quite interested
D. politely interested
E. unbelievably interested
9) If you were to meet a Googlypoosha bunny rabbit, you would…
A. run
B. pet it
C. do nothing
D. laugh
E. PSYCH! If you thought about this question, then you're dead because you thought about the bunny! Hahaha!
10) This passage could best be improved by the deletion of which sentence?
A. Sentences 5-end
B. Sentence 1
C. All the even sentences
D. All the odd sentences
E. The whole passage ought to be deleted
Everyone stared at the test after reading it through the first time. The average blood pressure of the group raised by a few…points or numbers or whatever blood pressure is measured in.
How the hell is the name of the C10H15NO compound general knowledge? Momoshiro thought frantically. Not even advanced Chemistry students knew that!
Everyone on Team Nice Guys shot glances at Yanagi, and everyone on Team Douchebags looked at Inui. It was obvious that they were the only two who knew any of these answers.
The next thirty minutes were basically a subtle scuffle. People sitting closest to Yanagi and Inui on either team had to try to discreetly look off their papers, and then share those answers with those sitting around them, and so forth. It was basically a test of who could cheat better.
Oishi paused, biting his lip, before accepting the answers from Eiji. Only the realization that his entire team would hate him if he didn't do well was fueling him to continue.
"Right! Time is up!" Ryuzaki called abruptly at the thirty-minute mark. "Everyone hand in your papers now!"
There was a flurry of motion as everyone ran to turn in his test to Ryuzaki.
She scanned them quickly.
"Okay, everyone from Seigaku's team fails," she said immediately.
"What?! Why!?" They all screamed.
She held up the papers for everyone to see. "I don't remember you all changing your names to 'Sadaharu Inui'."
"Aw! Jeez........." They all slapped their foreheads.
"Oh, how could I have been so silly!?" Sengoku, who had been sitting closest to Inui, cried. "Of course when you're copying a test, you're not to supposed to copy every single word!"
"Oh, the shame!" said Oishi tearfully. "And now I'm a cheater to boot!"
"How could we all be so blind......"
The Rikkaidai team looked on in awe.
"......what complete idiots!" said Niou finally, in shocked amazement.
Yukimura nodded sagely. "It's not often you come across a band of morons like that, so pure and untouched."
"I guess this means that Rikkaidai wins by default," said Ryuzaki. "If for no other reason than because they all wrote their own names at the tops of their papers."
"Yay." Team Nice Guys said unenthusiastically.
"Do we get cupcakes now?" asked Kintaro.
"No, not yet," said Yukimura, with a slight edge to his voice. "And that's the seventh time you've asked me since last night."
"Awww," Kintaro's eyes started to bubble with tears.
"Here, you can have a smiley face in the meantime," said Yukimura, pulling out a blue pen and drawing a smiley face on Kintaro's hand. "But let this be enough until we win the final championship. Then you get cupcakes."
"Oh, alright," said Kintaro, examining his new smiley face. "Hey, it's pretty cool!" he said.
Sanada and a few other boys were shooting jealous looks at Kintaro's smiley face, but Yukimura had already put away the pen and they were too embarrassed to ask him to take it out again and draw smileys for them.
"Okay, so Rikkaidai- 1, Seigaku- negative 3," said Ryuzaki. "What a great first challenge."
"Wait a minute, how are we already in the negatives?" asked Oishi, bewildered.
"Because not only did you fail the test, but you made it painfully obvious that you had cheated. And also, I don't like you guys."
"What?! But you're our coach! You should be biased in favor of us!"
"That's why Sakaki's here," explained Ryuzaki. "The guest judges are partly to ensure that there isn't just one judge being biased."
"So, what does Sakaki say about our tests?" Bane demanded.
"Actually, he was the one who said you should get negative points," said Ryuzaki.
There was a collective sigh. "Okay, we give up," said Echizen. "Now I wanna see someone get whipped.
"Actually, you guys got all these questions right," said Ryuzaki, scanning the test. "So I don't have to whip anyone."
"Oh. Well that's anticlimactic," said Fuji moodily.
"Oh, don't worry: someone's definitely going to get whipped eventually. Just not necessarily today."
"This was officially the worst first challenge ever." Saeki said. "I mean, if I sat down with a paper and pen and tried to come up with a worst first challenge, I don't think I could do it."
"Yeah, well, it was more of an aptitude test anyway," said Ryuzaki shrugging. "Now I sort of know where you guys stand and what to expect of you."
"Good data," said Inui.
"Shut up Inui, I'm talking!" Ryuzaki shouted. "Basically, I've learned today that Rikkaidai's team are geniuses and Seigaku's team are douchebag cheaters."
"Rikkaidai cheated, too!" everyone from Seigaku screamed. "They were just better at it than we were!"
Ryuzaki ignored them.
"Tezuka, this is bad," Oishi hissed to Tezuka. "Morale is low. Make a really inspiring speech or something!"
Tezuka thought for a moment. "It's okay, guys," he said finally, to his team. "I knew this had to happen. This is the way we always operate. Rikkaidai has to win at least the first one, and then we all unleash our newest techniques. Everyone double your practicing, make sure your guard is up, and we'll soon make a dramatic comeback!"
"............"
"Right, but this isn't tennis," Momoshiro reminded him.
Tezuka stood silently. "......yeah, I've got nothing." he said finally. "Just cut to the next scene."
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A/N....
Hmmm.....how many would you have gotten right on that test? :) Anyone know the answer to question one?
