AN: SORRY I HAVEN'T POSTED IN THE PAST TWO DAYS, I HAD TO GO TO THE HOPSITAL BUT ITS ALL FINE NOW

HOPE YOU ENJOY


"What do you think their reactions will be when they wake up."

"I don't know but I know we won't want to be in here."

Slowly as I wake up I can hear a few voices here and there but I mainly chose to ignore them. I'm warm wrapped in the warmest blanket and I snuggle myself into the blanket even more.

Finally I feel my bones protesting and I have to start moving. It's only then that I realise the blanket is also moving around as well.

Slowly I open one eye only to realise I have my face pressed into something really comfortable so won't be able to see anything. Pulling back slightly I see that it's not a blanket but a person and not just any person but Jam- Potter!

I jump back but part of me protests. "Lily I'm so sorry I must have fallen asleep I really didn't mean to." I look up at Potter and see his face, he looks so apologetic.

"No J- Potter it's fine I fell asleep as well." I reply before peeling myself off the chair and heading towards the girl's staircase.

What is wrong with me? I was so warm and comfortable. This isn't meant to be happening, I was meant to stay away from James not get closer. Damn it.

"Hey Lily you ready?" Alice asks.

"Yeah just give me a minute" I tell her as a brush through my dark red hair.

"What are you still doing here? I thought I was meeting you at the library." I question Alice as I see her sitting on my bed.

"No. Do not say anything until I've said what I've got to say." Alice looks a little angry and confused so I sit down.

"What's up?" I question as I sit down although I've got a very good idea.

"What's up? What the hell was that? You just fell asleep with James. You can't stand being in the same room with him never mind the same sofa." She's pacing the room but I can't look up at her, she's asking the same questions I have the whole morning. "And then you don't shout at him. This is so not you. You smiled. Smiled! When he apologised and then said sorry yourself. What's going on?"

I can tell she is looking at me but I can't answer her.

"Do you like him?" Quicker than I've ever moved before in my life my head snaps up.

"No." I shout but it sounds more of a question.

"You do!" She shouts jumping around to face me.

"No!" I shout again turning away, "of course I don't. I don't. I really don't!"

I'm shaking my head trying to clear it - I really can't like him. Sure he's a better human being this year but like him as in LIKE HIM? No. No I can't.

I feel Alice's hand on my shoulder and an too confused to protest against her turning me.

"I can't. I can't like him he's Potter." I'm mumbling but I can't stop, I can't like him. I don't like him.

"Lily calm down."

"I don't know Alice. I really don't. Recently he's just been kind and caring and helpful and I like spending time with him. I like how his pranks don't harm people anymore. I like how he is trying harder with his school work. I love how hard he tries at quidditch, not just himself but the team, I love how he looks out for them. I love how his eye light up in transfigurations. I love how loyal he is to his friends. I love how he smells. I love how he puts others first, like the other month when he got detention for being late because that kid needed taking to the hospital wing. I love how despite the changes he is still the same fun loving James."

I've been looking down the whole time I talked about how much I liked James. I take a breath to carry on and I look up to Alice- she looks like she's been hit by a bus.

"Alice?" I'm scared.

"You do like him. You love him!"

"What? Love! When have I ever said I loved anything about James - damn it Potter?" I'm almost shouting. Love? Nope.

"Lily most of that speech you were saying love." Alice explains slowly as she lowers me down to a seat, "and you called him James."

Love. The idea that i love Jame- Potter just makes me feel…. I don't know. "Alice help me please. I can't love Jame- Potter I really can't." I'm begging.

"Why can't you?" Alice questions kneeling down in front of me.

"It's James. I mean we are completely different." And then I remember, "And he's gotten over me."

"What? Gotten over you? That boy has loved you since 3rd year. How on earth has he gotten over you?"

"You must have noticed. He doesn't ask me out anymore, or try to talk to me. He never tries to play with my hair or ask to borrow unnecessary things anymore. He's gotten over me." As I say it I feel tear prickle the back of my eyes. Damn it - I do love him.

"That's because you always told him not to. He's still the same lovesick James but he tries to do it from a distance so he doesn't bother you anymore." Alice explains, "I think it use to really hurt him when you rejected him so he stopped asking."

I feel my heart contract in my heart, "I hurt him. Of course he doesn't want to go out with me if i always hurt him. What kind of heartless person am I?" I ask before I can't hold my tears back anymore.

Alice engulfs me into a hug but I hardly feel it I'm so numb.

"Lily calm down" Alice soothes, "you're not heartless you just never realised."

I pull back to look at her, "and this nonsense about him not wanting to go out with you. Are you blind lily? Do you not see the way he looks at you? I'm sure Dumbledore and McGonagall have already planned the wedding with all the looks he gives you." She's quiet for a moment, "saying that I can't believe I haven't noticed before. The way you have been looking at him through class or blushing when he talks to you."

"What do I do?" I have no clue what to do anymore. All I want to do is curl up in a ball and eat ice cream.

"You're going to carry on as normal." Alice says jumping to her feet, "and that means studying."