Opening Lines
Disclaimer: I do not own Artemis Fowl
Ariel Fowl was very disappointed in her shapes game. After much experimentation she had concluded that the star block would only fit through the star hole, the square block would only fit through the square hole and likewise the circle block would only fit through the circle hole. Which was in her opinion very very boring.
Yet she still felt somewhat upset when Daddy took the triangle shape from her to hold it in front of her face.
"What's this Ariel?" he asked
"Buh" Ariel said. Daddy sighed.
"No Ariel it's a triangle, come one say Triangle. Start with a 'ttt'"
"Buh?"
"Triangle...tryyyy aangggle"
"Buh buh"
"Give it up Artemis she's not going to say triangle" Holly announced from where she was curled up on the sofa absently petting Selkie who had laid her head in the fairy's lap.
"Well she's got to say something!" Artemis protested.
"Come on Ariel say something for Daddy" He pleaded
"Ah buh"
Daddy looked like he wanted to tear his hair out.
"Oh Arty stop pushing her she'll talk when she's ready" Angeline said from the other side of the Fowls informal lounge.
"Ready? She's been ready for the past six months she should be able to start sentences by now! But she won't go past babbling!"
"Maybe she likes babbling" Beckett suggested looking up briefly from his DS.
"It isn't about what she likes! It's about her reaching the next stage in her development...what, what if there's something wrong with her?"
Everyone in the room groaned
"Artemis there is absolutely nothing wrong with our daughter, she's healthy, she's happy she just doesn't want to talk" Holly slid off the sofa and knelt on the carpet next to Ariel so she could tip the plastic shapes out from their box. Ariel felt a little angry about that she had worked very hard at getting those shapes in the box. Oh well best get back to work she picked up the brightly coloured square and thought briefly of how wonderful it would be if it would fit through the circle hole. But Ariel already knew it wouldn't so she pushed it through it's dull square hole.
"Oh aren't you clever" Holly smiled nuzzling her daughters cheek.
"Mah" Ariel said
"You see what's exactly what I'm talking about! 'Mah' she should be able to realize that saying that twice makes Mama and that means you! But she doesn't!"
"You're making a big deal over nothing"
"It's not nothing it's a huge developmental set back!"
"Arty children develop at their own pace; take your brothers for example. Myles was talking months before Beckett but Beckett was walking before Myles had even learnt to crawl. Ariel will talk when she's ready too" Angeline explained
"Maybe she just has nothing to say" Myles put in
"Nothing to say? She's been in this world almost a year..."
"My baby's growing up so fast!"
"...and she has absolutely nothing to say?" Artemis cried.
"You know" Artemis Sr, who had thus far been rather pleased to say out of the hourly
'Artemis' Panic attack over Ariel Show' said.
"I can think of a certain youngster who didn't speak until he was three years old"
"Who?" Artemis asked
"You"
"What?" Artemis couldn't look more shocked if he tried. Angeline nodded along with her husband.
"It was the strangest thing, you never even babbled. We had you tested for Muteness, Deafness even Autism but no one could tell us anything! We were frantic with worry. Then one day completely out of the blue you started speaking in complete sentences" She explained.
"Your first ever words were to tell me to switch off 'Playschool' and turn to the National Geographic channel" Butler explained humorously. Artemis couldn't believe what he was hearing.
"But I remember being three and I'm certain I reached all my milestones early!"
"Well you sat up early, didn't bother much with crawling, you tried to for a while but in the end gave up and started walking so you did that early. Potty trained yourself thank heavens. But no not a peep out of you until you were three" Angeline explained.
"Like I said it was the strangest thing" She shrugged turning back to the speech she was trying to write for one of her upcoming charity events. So many speeach's had been made about preserving the natural habitat and putting an end to the poaching of the Lowland Gorilla that she wasn't really sure if there was anything she could say that hadn't already been said.
"Well there you go Arty! There's nothing wrong with out daughter she simply takes after you!" Holly grinned mischievously.
"And what age did you embark on the great venture of speech Captain?" Artemis asked a little tersely it had to be said. Fortunately Holly lived with him and was therefore used to it.
"Oh I spoke around the usual age, seven"
"Months?" Myles inquired as Beckett handed him his DS having obviously reached another puzzle level.
"No years"
"You didn't speak until you were seven years old!" Beckett said a healthy dose of shock in his voice.
"Seven's nothing for a Fairy, infancy lasts two decades" Holly explained.
"So maybe our daughter takes after you!" Artemis announced smugly. Holly rolled her eyes.
"It doesn't matter who she takes after, what's important is she doesn't want to talk and we shouldn't force her, she'll get there when she gets there"
She handed the triangle shape back to Ariel who studied it closely by trying to put it in her mouth.
Her studies yielded a breakthrough. The triangle shape was pointy like the star shape was pointy. So maybe just maybe if she did it just right she could get the triangle shape through the star hole.
Ariel took the triangle shape and attempted to do just that. But once again she was met with no success. No matter how hard she tried Ariel simply could not get the triangle shape through the star hole. With a cry of disappointment and defeat she threw the triangle shape away from her.
"Someone's a little cranky. Time for a nap is it?" Mummy said.
"I'll take her Holly" Butler offered. Holly smiled gratefully and lifted Ariel away from her shapes game to give to the Semi retired bodyguard. Who took the infant like she was made of china and left the informal lounge.
Ariel couldn't help but feel rather hard done by as she was placed gently in her crib. She wasn't even tired! Just upset that her shapes game was dreadfully dull. Why couldn't Fisher-Price shake shake things up a little.
She frowned as best she could at Butler as he closed her crib and secured it. Unfortunately it came out looking more like a pout.
"Oh come now it's not so bad, one day you'll appreciate naps and then you'll get to my age and detest them again" The giant man chuckled he turned to leave. This was it her last chance to explain that this nap time really was unjustified and that she really wasn't all that annoyed with her shapes game. Sure it wasn't as challenging as it could be but it certainly had it's merits, the blue red and yellow colour scheme for example was quite fetching. Ariel opened her mouth
"But'er" She said.
The bodyguard paused at the door and turned his attention back towards the crib.
Result.
"What did you just say?" Butler asked.
"But'er" Ariel repeated "But'er, But'er"
"That's what I thought you said" The giant man sighed deeply and lifted Ariel from her crib to hold her in front of his face. Ariel giggled this was all going rather well.
"Now listen to me young lass your Mummy and Daddy are not going to be happy to learn that your first proper word is not one of their names. And I stand to lose quite a sizable chunk of money if the Twins get word of this..."
Unbeknownst to the little darlings parents Beckett and Myles had set up a betting pool on what Ariel's first word would actually be. Butler had put his money on 'Dada' which had seemed liked the soundest choice. There was a reason he wasn't a professional gambler and it wasn't just that his last name was 'Butler'.
"...so this is going to be our little secret."
STORY NOTES
Shaping up: I'm sure everyone here is familiar with the shape Game Ariel is playing I mean it's been around for a while. But for anyone who doesn't basically the game is a box with various shaped holes in the lid and a set of plastic shapes. The game is for babies to learn what shapes go through which holes. Ariel isn't very impressed with it.
Development: Infants in general start 'Babbling' at the age of four months but they don't know what they're saying. Babbling is really just a baby testing out the sounds they can make actual comprehension of these sounds doesn't come for a further few months. Artemis is worried because not only should at a year old be past babbling she should be able to say a simple sentence. Of course all children develop at different rates.
Artemis Talking: I have a sneaking suspicion that somewhere in the books it gives the actual age Artemis Talked at but I plain couldn't remember so I went with the story here. I could be wrong...
I feel sorry for Fairy Parents: I have no idea of the rate fairies age at so anything said on the length of fairy infancy is pure speculation
Dada: Dada is actually on average the most common first word infants in english speaking countries say because the 'D' sound is easier to say than a 'M' sound.
Anyway I hope you enjoyed this one shot. I'd love to hear what you think of Ariel and this collection in general. I accept critism just be constructive and polite. I apologuise for my poor spelling and punctuation.
Ari out!
