Guy Talk

"Amanda, I didn't want Jennie to go because Matt wanted to talk to me about guy things."

"What kind of 'guy things'?" Amanda asked; wondering how Lee handled the guy talk that she had to do on her own with both Philip and Jamie; even though after he was in the house the boys did go to him more about those things.

Raising his eyebrow he just looked at her and said, "Amanda, you can guess what he wanted to talk to me about; you did after all talk with the boys about these kinds of things long before I ever stepped foot into this house."

"I know, Scarecrow, I just want to know how you handled the first of many guy talks." She said with that knowing smile of hers.

"He asked about the normal stuff; why his body is changing, is it going to get worse, why does he have to shower after gym with the other guys when it is his last class of the day and he is coming straight home. He also wanted to know why girls get all giggly and when does that stop."

"What did you tell him?"

nightmares that won't seem to end and there is nothing I can do but hold her and be here for her. Joe was such a large part of Amanda's life; for better or worse. I know Joe and I had our differences but his death I hope doesn't tear us apart. She clings to me but is crying for him; for the loss of her children's father. I wish I knew how to make her pain go away.

Jennie had just finished reading the entries her father had written about when everyone thought Joe and Carrie had passed away. She knew all but the last three years on their birthday were hard on her family. Her mom always had a big smile on her face at their parties but it never reached her eyes and later Jennie could always hear her crying and her dad soothing her; or at least trying to. Now that Joe and Carrie were back with Joey her mom didn't cry anymore and at least once a week if not more they came to dinner with everyone. The next entry Jennie began to read was about how Philip came to him for advice on his dating Katie.

Philip came to me tonight and I am still trying to decide if he was asking my advice or my permission about dating Katie. The night his father died was also the twins second birthday; I was running late and walked in on the two of them kissing in the kitchen. To be honest out of the two boys I thought it would be Jamie not Philip that Katie was going to be interested in. Philip went through his stages of mourning and still is but he was worried about how I felt about him and Katie. I asked him what he would do if I disapproved of it and he told me that he would respect that fact but it wouldn't change how he felt or the fact he was going to still date her. I was honest and told him I was afraid that if things went sour fast, as a lot of high school romances do, then I would be concerned for all feelings involved. I told him to move slow and enjoy the joy of growing up. I told him also to think of consequences if things moved beyond hand holding and kissing. I want him to protect her but also himself and as much as I want to tell him to wait before moving to fast I know how hard that can be for a teenage boy; I know all too well.

What in the world is my Daddy talking about? Jennie thought to herself. She went on to read about Katie being kidnapped and how lucky they were that she came back in the same condition she left in; that her stepfather's henchmen didn't rape her. What is rape?

This year has already been so tough on this family I just know that if Katie had been raped that it would have changed her forever and since I brought her into this family and ultimately into Philip's life. He has been terrific with Katie since she has been back. He shows a maturity that most guys his age couldn't handle. I think he may have found his very first love.

First love; as far as Jennie knew Katie was Philip's only love. She has never known her brother to be with anyone other than Katie. The next entry in her father's journal made no sense to her at all. He was talking about a conversation with Jamie.

It has been a little over a year since Jamie and Brittany had spoken. I was surprised to see her when I got home tonight. I had picked the twins up from Dotty and of course Amanda is out of town this week. Jamie seemed nervous like he had just stolen the royal jewels. I let the twins play as I began dinner and asked Jamie to help me. Never in a million years would I think he would tell me what he told me. He just had sex for the first time. I asked if he was okay. He said he was fine or at least he thought he was, "How are you supposed to feel, Dad?" That is what he asked me. I told him it was different for everyone as long as he knew for certain he was ready for that step in life and was responsible for any and all actions that could happen from those actions. Sex is never to be entered into lightly. Oh boy, I really thought we were a few years away from this. I also thought Philip would be first; maybe he already is and just not saying. I need Amanda!

What in the world? Boys are just weird; I have no idea what Daddy is talking about here. I don't think I want to know. Maybe this is why Daddy loves the boys more than me; they all have had this sex thing; whatever that is. Maybe I should too Jennie thought as she kept on reading.

"I told him the truth, Amanda, some girls stay giggly their whole life, some girls just pass through their life and the important girl becomes your wife."

"Very good answer, but did he ask about sex?"

"Yes he did; he knows Katie and Philip are expecting but he wanted to know how it happened and I told him. I also told him that it wasn't a game and he was nowhere near an age to begin having sex. He asked how old was old enough. I told him honestly it was different for everyone but he had to finish growing up in more than one area for that. Has Jennie ever asked you about sex?"

"No, as smart as the twins were I just thought they would know. I figure she would ask when she started her period but that hasn't started yet either."

"Is that normal?"

"Girls can start anywhere from ten to seventeen; just depends on the girl, her activities she is in, and family history. I started early so I thought she would have but nothing yet."

"That makes me feel better."

"Lee, it is going to happen; just be glad you had a little experience with Katie being around so much."

"Yeah, I think I am going to go see how far into my private thoughts she is and set her straight about my love for her."

Lee stood up to leave and leaned over to kiss Amanda as Matt came back in and he saw the pictures and said, "Hey, Mom, what are these?"

Lee headed up the stairs and found Jennie on his side of the bed completely engrossed in his journal; she didn't even notice that her father had sat down next to her until he asked, "Hey, Princess, what are you up to?"

Looking up at her father his heart broke as he saw the tears in her eyes thinking she would be in trouble with him.

"Daddy, I was trying to find out why you don't love me as much as the boys, but I haven't; I'm sorry I know I shouldn't read your private journal." The tear fell harder and Lee reached over and pulled his daughter onto his lap and just held her; letting her tears fall.