"This is just what we do. We fight, and then he reassures me and seconds later. We're made up, and although- in hindsight the 'L word' fight wasn't any different. It sure felt like it afterwards, and it's flooding my thoughts more so than ever. I'm not going to say that I've never asked myself those questions because it has. Honestly I think deep down, I'm more scared of what could be because of my past heartbreaks. But I can't base all mankind on a few dough bags from freshman and sophomore year, quite pointless actually. As long as I take things slow and don't rush into them and fall too hard too fast, which was my past mistake, I should be fine. In time, I'll realize if he's Mr. Right or Mr. Right-Now." Taking a big sigh, I set down my journal. It feels great to get those feelings off my chest, almost like a ton of bricks removed from my shoulders. As if my feelings were weighing me now. Alex comes over every day now which makes me smile. I go downstairs and see that he's right where I left him, in front of the TV. Except he's fallen asleep, he's so cute when he's asleep. It's pretty cold in here, considering the AC is turned down to 60 degrees since it's 102 degrees outside plus 40% humidity. Needless to say the AC has been running 24/7. His eyes slightly open as I walk in. "Finally decided to come and join me huh? I've missed you." His voice sounds sleepy. I nod and walk over to the couch, gesturing that I want to cuddle. "Dreaming about me?" He laughs then nods. For a while I just stare into his crystal blue eyes only to find love and understanding. His eyes say it all. He's afraid of being hurt too. He had a hard up bringing than me though. My childhood was filled with gifts, smothered in love. With 2 doctors for parents, needless to say I was spoiled. It's not the material things that bond us closer, we relate in our hurt, under lying pain and undealt with feelings. "What do you think about moving in?" I speak up, and hope for the best. "I think I hate my foster family. I love you. And would love to wake up and see your beautiful face every morning." He flashes me his million dollar smile that I can never get enough of. "I'll be right back." I go back upstairs and call my mom; she should be on brake right about now. "Hi honey." Her voice is sweet and soft. "Hey Mom, Alex's foster family is so mean to him, we've been together a while, he's a nice boy and I was wondering if he could move in?" Please say yes. "Why not, we have a spear room." She pauses. "Thank so mu…" She interrupts me. "Are you still taking your birth control pills?" I wait. "I ran out. But don't worry mom we always have condoms, I promise." Luckily she's a cool mom. "Well I know you're sexually active. I heard you screaming your brains out along with moaning and bed rocking." No way. We were that loud? "Mom he's amazing I think I love him. The sex is out of this world. We have sex in the shower and when he eats me out he treats it as if a plate of food. When we kiss there's such a spark." I confide in her. Nothing new there, I've always been one to tell my mom everything. We're so close. "Sounds like a porno, actually me and your Dad made one a few years back… We should probably update that." This is just a normal conversation talking to my mom. "I'll text you what I'll make for dinner later. I'll get bitched at if I don't go back to work. And I still haven't finished my lunch. Bye Bethy, love you." "I love you too Mom." Call ended. Mission completed.
