Notes: OneSizeFitsAll: You could always work part time, right? ;) Rousdower: Not good at dodging? Neither am I. But neither are Chitauri, apparently. :P MOSObsessed: XD Thanks! Lily Lindsey-Aubery: The Other wrote that last job offer. Thanos was too busy with his other projects. Is the Other supposed to be a Chitauri, I wonder? Because if so, why didn't he die when the rest did? Hmm, fanfic idea, maybe?
OK, I have to write one for PotC, so let's get this over with...
Disclaimer: I don't own the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise.
Now Hiring: Zombie Pirates
Have YOU been dreaming of sandy beaches? Swaying palm trees? Buried treasure?
Don't miss this exciting career opportunity in the Caribbean!
You don't have to be a zombie to apply! We're looking for anyone with a thirst for adventure...and gold. But please don't apply if you don't like pirates.
Skills required: Good sword fighting skills, marksmanship with obsolete flintlock firearms, and cannon firing skills are preferred, but not required. You will be frightening enough to intimidate most of your enemies into doing what you want them to and in case not, you won't be able to die so you won't have anything to worry about. Also, we don't object to having useless people around (like Elizabeth Swann), just as long as they don't take up too much room on board.
Your piratical experience begins with a special secret initiation ceremony in which you will steal a piece of gold from a cursed treasure chest. This will, through an as yet scientifically unexplored process, turn you into an unkillable zombie. Why is this important? It's not, but it's totally awesome - try standing in the moonlight for a seriously sick effect!
You can expect to participate in activities such as: Raiding coastal towns, marooning your captain, stealing treasure, trying to eat and drink without being able to, chasing Captain Jack Sparrow and Will Turner, being chased by Captain Jack Sparrow and Will Turner, being annoyed by Elizabeth Swann, doing dumb things that the audience will hopefully think are really cool.
And just in case that's not enough to make you flip over backwards to join up, check out the
Pay:
Obviously, the coin you will steal from the cursed treasure chest (except you might be required to give it back later), but also a part in all the treasure we steal! You may want to limit your acquisitions to treasure, since you won't be able to enjoy any food or drink you steal.
Risks: You won't be able to die, so there are absolutely no risks involved in signing up! After you've signed up, you won't be able to be un-zombie-fied, so do take this into account when considering this opportunity. Also, if you happen to be shot just before the curse is lifted (and we are currently working on lifting it because it's annoying not to be able to eat or drink), you could possibly bleed to death when the curse is lifted. But other than that, there are no risks whatsoever!
So stop waiting around!
Apply below!
Notice: Announcing the Great Fanfiction Christmas Countdown!
I and two fellow authors will be writing a Christmas fanfiction for each of twelve different fandoms, one every day, from December 14 to Christmas day. There's more about it on my profile page, if you'd like to know more. Hope you'll read some of the stories!
That being said, I may not update this story again until January. :P
