Chapter 3: Wounds and Realizations
Castiel was staring with curiosity at the first aid kit when Dean turned to face him.
"Okay, let me see this," said Dean reaching forward and pulled his bloody sliced shirt aside. Sure it was mildly awkward, because Castiel didn't understand human ways too clearly, but Dean had practice from when Sam was a kid. The cut was very deep and looked raw and inflamed. Dean gulped as he thought as he thought of infection. How long had been Castiel been lying in the field?
Sam returned and handed Dean a large glass of water. He extended it to Castiel who had now sagged to the side a little bit from exhaustion. He gave small labored huffs of breath.
"Drink this Cas, slowly alright."Dean told him. Obediently, Castiel took it and drank gratefully.
"Thanks," he told Sam. Sam nodded and was inspecting the gash with Dean.
"This doesn't look clean," Sam observed. "We should get him to take a shower before we bandage him." This sounded like it would be a lot of effort. Dean sighed.
"Cas, you've gotta wash yourself off man…you'll feel better. We'll help you," he added when Castiel's eyebrows drew together at the obvious dread of moving around. Sam went to turn on the shower. Dean moved forward and tried to take his trench coat off him as gently as he could. What happened next was so unexpected he nearly jumped.
Castiel jerked in pain and let out a strangled cry. Dean backed off, surprised at how sudden and loud this was. Sam reappeared looking surprised.
"What?" he asked
"I don't know," said Dean worriedly as he slowly bent over Cas; who was now curled in on himself and trembling. "Cas what's wrong man?" he asked gently.
"Please…" he moaned. "Don't" he muttered. He continued on mumbling a few more incoherent things. He wasn't making much sense. Dean reached out a consoling hand. "Nooo, please," moaned Castiel as he cowered.
"Hey," said Dean softly. Sam stared at him, a little surprised. "What hurts? What's the problem?" Dean asked.
"I…I didn't remember…" moaned Castiel. His eyes were agonized. Dean sat beside him.
"Dean…" he said quietly. Dean exchanged a look with Sam. This seemed more than physical.
"Remember what?" asked Sam also in a very gentle tone. Both Winchesters had never seen him act this way. It was unnerving.
"They…" he seemed reluctant…almost embarrassed? wondered Dean.
"They broke them, damaged them…no wonder I didn't make it far," he said his eyes fixed on something they couldn't see; they were bright with emotion.
"Broke what?" said Dean anxiously. Sam gave a groan of understanding, he got there first.
"My wings," said Castiel, an anguished sob breaking into his voice. Sam and Dean looked at each other. Castiel having a breakdown was something they never could have imagined. He stared at his hands, his frail frame trembling.
"Did I hurt them? When I touched you?"asked Dean sounding upset. It was starting to make sense. Castiel nodded, sniffing. His cheeks were glistening. This made his stomach squirm with unease, and sympathy. He cleared his throat. "I'm sorry Cas, geez that's terrible…" he said in a low voice. He patted his shoulder carefully. Castiel didn't wince.
"You didn't know, "he said brokenly. Sam sat down on his other side. Castiel closed his eyes and bowed his head. "How...how could they?" he whispered. Dean was right, it was an emotional blow. "They held me down," Castiel gulped, tears freely falling down his face. "…and tried to cut them off…they almost did. One is almost gone, the other is twisted and broken…" he let the words flow. Dean felt his throat constrict. He cleared it again. Sam's eyes seemed to glisten slightly.
"Can we straighten it?" he asked.
"It would be excruciating…" said Castiel. "And we would need an angel's help; you shouldn't look at my wings. My true form would hurt your eyes." He seemed to be regaining a little bit of control.
"Who could we call? Balthazar?" suggested Dean.
"Probably not," said Castiel wiping his face. There was a pause. Dean didn't know who else. "…Gabriel" said Castiel suddenly.
"Really?" asked Sam with raised eyebrows.
"We were close once, he was protective…the older brother," said Castiel, his composure fully regained. Dean knew about this dynamic all too well.
"Okay, we'll call him after we patch up those wounds, alright?" said Dean. Castiel nodded weakly. Dean squeezed his arm in comfort. "It's gonna be okay Cas, we're here, we'll help you," he said. Sam nodded in agreement. Castiel smiled wearily at them, the trust in his eyes was apparent.
"Okay can we take the coat off?" Dean asked sounding troubled.
"Okay, carefully," said Castiel. Dean nodded to Sam and stayed next to Castiel. Sam stood and bent over him. Carefully, he slowly pulled it off him. Castiel cringed horribly and Dean gave him his arm to grip.
"It's okay," said Dean in a hushed voice. Castiel nodded, his eyes glittering. Dean reached over and undid his tie. Castiel sat still as he undid the buttons to his blood stained shirt. Sam pulled it off too. A moan caught in Castiel's throat. Dean felt so bad for him.
"Okay let's go," said Dean pulling him to his feet. Castiel followed him obediently out of the room. Sam gave Dean a significant nod. It meant that he wasn't going to follow. Dean led Castiel into the now misting bathroom and shut the door.
Sam could hear Dean muttering comfortingly to Castiel, whose voice sounded distressed. After a few more moments Castiel moaned in pain. Sam cringed. Dean said a few more muffled things that sounded consoling. A couple minutes later the door opened and they were coming back. Dean had put a towel around him and used another to dry off his head. He sat him back down on the bed.
Dean opened the kit and gave Castiel a strip of gauze.
"Keep pressure here alright," he said touching his face. Castiel did as he was told, holding Dean's gaze. Sam took a moment to appreciate how much Cas trusted Dean. He hadn't protested yet…except with the wings…he thought sadly.
Sam opened a peroxide bottle and wet a few cotton balls. He exchanged a significant glance with Dean. They didn't want to hurt him anymore. Sam moved Castiel's arm gently away from his wound.
"Cas…" he said. "I'm really sorry, this is gonna hurt, but I've got to okay?" Castiel gazed at him, and then nodded morosely. When Sam started to disinfect the wound, he shut his eyes and bit his lip, but held in all sounds of pain. After a few moments he gave one weak gasp, but that was it. Dean opened a roll of bandages and gave them to Sam. He started bandaging him tightly, keeping a troubled but stony face. Castiel dropped his gauze and gripped Dean's arm again. Being human sure was taking a toll on him, thought Dean. He dabbed some sweat off his brow.
After disinfecting it, Dean opened a large band aid and covered up the cut on his face. They were done, and he could finally rest soon. Sam left to get him more water and Dean pulled out some sweatpants and a shirt. He picked up Castiel's boxers from the clump of clothing he brought back from the bathroom and added them as well.
"Do you want help?" he asked him carefully. Castiel gave him a vacant look. "I can you know, it's alright." said Dean quickly. He already had the shower experience with him tonight. He tried not to dwell on it; mainly because his wounds had looked so horrible, and there was a lot of bruising on his arms and chest.
"Maybe with this," said Castiel picking up the shirt. Dean helped pull it gently on him. He cried out again, but couldn't seem to help it.
"Cas, I'm really sorry…" said Dean in a burdened voice. He was mainly referring to his entire predicament, but when Castiel made noises of pain, it always unsettled him. Maybe it was because tonight was the first time he had ever experienced this.
"Thanks Dean…" he said. "For coming to get me…for everything…the stuff with my wings…" his voice grew sad. Dean didn't want him to have to continue.
"It's all okay Cas; you would have done it for us. We'll always come," he said. It was funny how when he talked about how he was feeling, he turned it into a Winchester plural. It's easier to say, he thought. He put the supplies away and Sam came back in the room. He had a couple painkiller pills and water. Castiel took them immediately without a word. Sam looked comforted by this; by his cooperation. He could tell Dean was thinking about the same things. They left him to finish dressing and went downstairs to talk to Bobby.
"Any meteors?" Dean asked as they entered the room.
"Not so far, maybe angels are just getting tormented, without losing all their grace," said Bobby.
"Torture is for sure," Dean said in a hard voice. Bobby looked over at him, to find that he was taking a swig of alcohol. Bobby sensed there was more.
"What's wrong?" he said.
Sam looked down then said in a troubled voice, "They broke his wings, tried to take them off…he's in agony." Dean cringed. It just sickened him. This feeling was mirrored on Bobby's face.
"What can we do?" he asked.
"We're going to call Gabriel tomorrow, to ask for help. Apparently, he can…reset them." Dean said, halting before saying the last words.
"Would he really come?" asked Bobby.
"Cas thinks so," said Sam. "He's got a connection with Gabriel."
"Works for me," said Bobby. "I'll take down a few seals tonight, so he can find us." He paused and frowned. "That's just awful, breaking an angel's wings…" he said.
"Yeah," sighed Dean.
"Let's go back up," said Sam. Dean nodded to Bobby and went back up the stairs with Sam.
Castiel was sitting in bed looking pained. He sat up straighter when they came in.
"That wasn't fun," he said gesturing to his clothes.
"Doesn't look it," said Dean.
"Hey Cas, are the angels still after you?" asked Sam suddenly. Dean wondered why he hadn't thought to ask that before.
"I don't think so. They wanted to leave me in pain, make me an example," he said and shuddered. The brothers stood in silence, lost in thought.
"You've gotta sleep now Cas, alright?" said Dean eventually.
"Can we wait until tomorrow to call Gabriel?" asked Sam. Castiel nodded.
"I'm out of energy," he said wearily. He really did look terrible. He lied on his side, unable to lie on his back. Dean pulled blankets up on him.
"We're down the hall," he said. "If you need us just call."
"Anytime," said Sam. Castiel nodded, his eyelids already sagging. There was also a moment of brief shock when Dean realized that sleep was something he needed now…as well as…
"Cas, are you hungry at all?" he asked suddenly.
"No." he said quietly.
"Okay," said Dean, feeling slightly relieved. He didn't know how much food Bobby had exactly.
"Thanks guys," he said in an exhausted but grateful voice.
"You're welcome," said Sam.
"You did great today buddy, really hung in there," said Dean. Castiel nodded.
"Night," said Sam as they turned out the light and shut the door.
Both Winchesters were pretty exhausted as well, and went gratefully to their beds. Normally, Dean would have devoted more time to ponder an upcoming plan, especially one involving an angel/trickster who killed him hundreds of times previously. But because it was pretty late now, and his mind felt slightly fried from dealing with all the problems that day, he simply thought, hey well, how bad could it go? What other options do we have? He frowned in sympathy as he sank into his bed. How many options did Castiel have?
Author's note: SO I was inspired by a combination of stories from my favorite fanfic authors. The parts to come including Gabriel are inspired by Anonymous-Unknown. Specifically, by the spectacular story When Our Prayers Go Unanswered. The focus/ interest in Castiel's wings was inspired by an author that isn't on this website. It comes from the author, Strangeness and Charm, on Live Journal; specifically from the story called Hummingbirds.
Thanks for sticking with Castiel and I as the story goes on!
An interesting fact about me: My favorite song on the Deathly Hallows part 1 soundtrack is Godric's Hollow Graveyard.
