Hotch watched as a new vigor swept through the team, except for Reid. He noticed the young man's shoulder blades tense before setting down the marker on the lip of the board. He took advantage of the chaos by exiting the room.
"Pretty boy! Where you goin'?"
Spencer smiled back
"I'm still tired. I'm just getting another cup of coffee."
Morgan smiled back at his friend "Do you plan on sleeping at all this week?"
"Haha, very funny." Spencer spoke as he walked away.
Hotch watched the interaction before discreetly picking up Reid's latte, it was full.
The stoic leader followed behind Reid as he ducked out the back of the building, closely listening for any clues to the young man's odd behavior.
"Julius-we may have to cancel our plans. A case has come up and I'm not sure how it will affect things...not just yet, give it a few more days...I'll keep in touch...yes, everything is here. Bye." Reid could barely hear Reids whispered voice, let alone who was on the other side.
Hotch heard silence before quietly opening the door. He saw the beautiful young man twirling the phone in his hand while he leaned his head against the wall of the building, his normally bright amber eyes closed, and his face looked...resigned.
"Reid, is everything okay?"
Reid jumped "I didn't hear you Hotch, sorry. It's just been a long morning and I needed some fresh air."
Hotch came to stand next to him "Is that all that is bothering you?"
Reid looked curiously at the stern man "What do you mean?"
Hotch looked into the young genius' eyes "You flinched at the crime scene and in the room. You have been on edge since yesterday. I just...I want to make sure you're alright." Hotch watched as Reid's eyes became momentarily misty.
"Thanks, Hotch. I don't know how to explain it...As a prosecutor did you ever have a case that tore at you? Like everything was about to come crashing down?"
"Of course. There were a few cases I can think of that made me feel like that." Hotch put his hand on the young man's shoulder, moving him to a nearby bench.
"What did you do?"
"Well, a lot of the times I would call Haley. She would ground me, remind me that no matter what, she would be there for me."
"What if i don't have someone like that to talk to?"
Hotch looked at Reid, intensely staring into his eyes. "You have the team. You have all of us." Hotch looked at his hands folded in his lap "I won't lie; there will be times when everything does fall apart, you can't always prevent it. There will be times when you put yourself back together and it seems like the pieces don't fit together correctly. You'll start to wonder if they ever will, but they will if you let people help. If you talk to people." Hotch stared back into the young man's captivating eyes, nearly getting lost. "Spencer, you will always have me, no matter what. I really care about you and I hope you know that you can rely on me as a friend and a confidant."
Spencer realized that he was leaning towards the older man, hypnotized and drawn to his lips. He didn't want to move away and draw attention, so instead he leaned his head against Hotch's shoulder.
"Thank you. I really needed to hear all that."
They sat in silence for several minutes before Hotch finally asked "Would you like to tell me what this is about? You don't have to of course, but….I'm here if you need me."
Reid looked at Hotch "Well," he got up and started to pace back and forth "the cases we work can be very draining and we all have a part of ourselves we keep away from our jobs, we keep for ourselves. There's always a facet that needs to be expressed, for Derek it's working with his hands, Garcia has theater and...I started from a very young age and it just grew into this...I've always been very careful about keeping my work and my hobbies separate, not just for my sake, but for my mom as well. You have to believe that I never thought that something like this would happen…"
Hotch grabbed the man's waving hands in an attempt to calm him down
"Spencer, you're mumbling and not making any sense."
Their eyes locked, unblinking
"Hotch...I'm Kasper." The older man blinked repeatedly a few times trying to release the fog from his head
"What? How?!"
"I've played since I was a kid. It's my version of fixing up houses. I use my vacation time to travel and do concerts. I've tried to keep it private- something just for me. I know it seems selfish-"
Hotch held Spencer's hand "It doesn't. I understand. I do have to ask...were you and Isaac Manchini ever romantically-"
"No." Reid shook his head "Just friends. We met through a mutual friend and toured together for a time. He was kind and wonderful but- I already belonged to someone else, my heart did at least. We remained close friends and talked often. He told me he was coming to Atlanta, but I never thought…"
Hotch gripped Spencer's shoulder and pulled him close, whispering "Spencer, I'm so sorry." Reid leaned into the touch. "You don't have to tell the team. We can take you off the case and-"
Reid looked at the man, straightening his sweater vest "No. I won't abandon the team." Reids brow creased in thought before smiling "But if I go back because my mother is ill, Kasper can show up and you can place him undercover."
"Absolutely not."
"Hotch, I want to help. I want the unsub to face justice for what they have done. The unsub is looking for me, and I have the training, the experience, and the expertise that you will never get from a civilian going undercover. I'm the best shot you have." Reid could see the exact moment he had persuaded his boss.
The man sighed "Okay. But, you need to leave for your mothers immediately before Kasper arranges to meet with us tomorrow evening. The rest of the team can't find out, they need to act as they would for any other civilian that would cooperate with us; they can't be ruled by emotion, which will happen if they know it's you."
Reid returned to the room after splashing water on his face, walking right into the middle of a conversation with a familiar voice.
"Sir, the reason we are trying to locate your client is because he could be in grave danger-"
"And like I said before-I cannot legally give you the name of my client."
Reid stood next to Morgan who whispered to him "We're getting nowhere with this guy."
"Look, I'll call Kasper and fill him in on the situation. I can't promise anything, but if he agrees then I will call you back."
Prentiss looked at Reid after hanging up "Hey, are you okay?"
Reid gave a lopsided smile "The doctor's called, my mom is sick, I have to head back tonight." Prentiss gave him a hug as JJ rubbed his back "I'm so sorry, Spence. Let us know if there is anything we can do."
"Thanks guys. I'm only a phone call away. Call me and keep me updated?"
Rossi answered "We will, kid, you just focus on your mom."
Reid collected everything in his bag before heading out of the room.
"I'm going to drive Reid to the airport. Once I'm back, we can figure out our plan."
They hopped in the SUV and headed to the Hotel 'Kasper' was due to check into in just under a week. After having checked in early and retrieving his luggage that he mailed, thankfully it arrived earlier in the day, they went up to Reid's room.
They were putting away Reid's luggage and getting out 'Kasper's'. Reid spoke up "Hey, Hotch?", and as Reid turned away from his luggage and the older man turned to meet him, they were nearly nose to nose. Reid nearly licked his lips, but stopped himself just in time.
"Yeah?"
"Are you sure you're going to be alright sharing a hotel room?"
"We've shared it before on other cases." Reid worried his bottom lip
"Yeah, but you won't really be spending it with me...you'll be sharing a room with Kasper.."
"I'll be sharing a room with a music star. This may be the highlight of my career." Both men laughed
"Are you going to be okay with it?" Hotch asked
"I don't know. Even when I have to be Kasper for extended periods of time, I always get time to myself to decompress…"
The older man put his hand gently on Spencer's upper arm "Which you can still do Spencer. You will have to keep the wig and makeup on, and the colored contacts in, but you can still be you. You don't have to be "on" when its just the two of us. If something unexpected happens, we will roll with it, just like we always do." Spencer put his hand on top of the one Hotch offered to him.
"Thanks, Hotch." The older man watched the way Reid bit his lower lip, he could see where the pink tongue had wet it just moments before, he felt his pulse speed up.
"Of course." Hotch replied before turning away making himself busy.
