Prompt 3 : The time is sometime after the events of Mass Effect 2. Kaidan Alenko is in his apartment on the Citadel. Why did they have to walk through my door? The catch is... the person entering CANNOT be Shepard.


Of Hallucinations and Hanars

Kaidan crossed the room to answer the door. He was tired and irritated. All he wanted to do was find Shepard but Anderson had him cooling his heels, and now, just to top things off his head was throbbing, which the new pain meds were not having much effect on.

Tentacles came round the door as he opened it, and forced it open further.

He looked in shock at the Hanar that came through his door, and closed it securely behind himself.

"This one offers you greetings Commander Alenko. This one feels it most fortunate that your door was the one this one ended up at."

Kaidan stared dumbly at the creature for what seemed like an eternity until he could find his voice. "What the hell is going on? Who are you and what are you doing here?"

"This one asks that you be patient, Commander Alenko. It regrets that it must impose upon you for a short time."

"You'll have to forgive me but this one is not feeling very patient at the moment. Did Joker put you up to this? Where are the cameras? You can just go back where you came from because I'm not in the mood for this garbage at the moment."

"This one does not believe it brought any garbage with it, and has no knowledge of one called Joker. This one will explain all Commander Alenko. This one must ensure that it is not being followed first." Tentacles moved the curtains slightly so the Hanar could glance quickly out onto the street.

"Alright, let me guess. Your name is Blasto and you're a duel pistol wielding Hanar Spectre. How am I doing so far?" Kaidan's irritation was growing in direct proportion to the throbbing in his head.

"This one believes it will be safer if it does not give its name. This one has heard of Blasto though. That one causes much consternation within the Hanar home world."

"I need a drink." Kaidan knew he probably shouldn't drink with a throbbing head and after taking pain medication. Hell, I'm already hallucinating, might as well go all the way. He had been having some strange dreams lately, but he was pretty sure he wasn't asleep and this wasn't a dream. Maybe Anderson was right and he needed a rest. He had been working pretty hard lately.

He took a few gulps of brandy before placing the glass on a table and sinking into his favourite chair in the darkest corner of the room. His hands went to his head where he massaged his temples trying to ease the throbbing which was increasing dramatically.

"This one may be able to help, Commander Alenko." The Hanar floated silently over to him, its tentacles reaching out to join his hands in their massaging.

"Sure why not?" Kaidan was way beyond caring at this point. The whole thing was so ridiculous that it couldn't be real, although he'd never had a hallucination that felt so real before. "So, now do you want to tell me who you are and what you're doing here, or should I just ignore you?"

"This one will accede to the request. As this one has already stated, this one does not feel it necessary to divulge its name. But this one is indeed a Spectre and does indeed have duel pistols."

"If you're real then I'm so going to kill Joker when I get my hands on him." Kaidan mumbled.

"This one does not know what this Joker is but must caution against killing. This one would hate to have to hunt Commander Alenko down for murder." The Hanar spoke softly, its tentacles still massaging Kaidan's head, the iridescent lights flashing across its body as it spoke creating patterns in the darkened room.

Kaidan said nothing and would have facepalmed if he didn't think the action would cause more throbbing. The Hanar continued speaking.

"This one was on a mission but may have been seen, so it needed a place to lay low in case this one was followed."

"What was this mission and who was following you?" Kaidan decided the easiest thing to do was to play along until the hallucination dissipated.

"This one regrets that it cannot speak too much of its mission, the Council would not approve. But this one believes that it was being followed by a Cerberus operative. The Council will be most upset with this one if Cerberus find out about this ones existence."

"So you're investigating Cerberus and you just happened to knock on my door by accident? Pull the other one."

"This one does not believe it is pulling anything. But this one will oblige if Commander Alenko will tell it what to pull."

"Never mind." Kaidan was starting to feel totally out of control of his own hallucination. "You can stop touching me now."

"This one apologises. This one did not wish to make the Commander uncomfortable. But this one heard a Cerberus operative say that it had its eye on the prize, and this one was worried its cover had been blown."

"Well you'd certainly be a great prize for Cerberus." Kaidan nodded in agreement and wished he hadn't as his head threatened to explode at the sudden movement.

"This one agrees. Although this one cannot be sure, as another agent dragged that one away. Maybe that one did not believe the first one."

"Hang on. So you're telling me that you don't even know if your cover was broken." He really needed to get out of this situation soon if his sanity was going to remain intact much longer.

"This one is confused Commander. What should this one hang on to?"

"For the love of…." Kaidan was beginning to really regret opening the door. "Just go on with what you were saying."

"This one has not much more to tell. This one heard the one being dragged off say, "But the prize," so this one thought it should get away and assumed that it would be safe at the Commanders apartment."

"So how long are you planning on staying."

"This one should not need to bother the Commander for much longer. This one appreciates the commander's hospitality." The Hanar floated over to the curtained window to look out onto the street once more.

Kaidan decided he couldn't take much more. "I'm going to bed. Let yourself out." He stood and headed for his bedroom, determined not to take that particular brand of pain medication anymore. With any luck I won't even remember this night.