The Kunoichi Bride

Chapter 3

I asked my Ouija Board if it was true that I didn't own Naruto or the Princess Bride. Its response was GOD FORBID.

As the ship sailed, Hinata had woken up and began struggling to escape.

"Don't bother," the grey-haired man said in a threatening voice, "That rope slowly drains your chakra."

"Kabuto," the swordsman said from his position at the back of the ship "Are you certain that we're not being followed?"

"It would be completely inconceivable, Sasuke," Kabuto replied, "No one in Suna knows what we've done, and no one in Konoha could prepare fast enough to catch us."

"You're severely underestimating Konoha shinobi," Hinata replied, "You will be caught. They have the most skilled trackers in all of the villages. Then, they will kill you for endangering one of their own."

"You should be more concerned about yourself," Kabuto said.

"Are you sure nobody's following us?" Sasuke asked as emphatically as one with an emotionless voice could.

"I promise you, it's absolutely, 100% inconceivable," Kabuto replied, "But, why do you ask?"

"Because, there is a boat right behind us."

Kabuto ran beside Sasuke and looked. A boat was following them, and on it was a man dressed in black, with a spot of orange on his face.

"It's probably just a local fisherman out for a late night butcher cruise… in eel infested waters," Kabuto tried to rationalize

Suddenly, there was a splash.

Hinata had dived overboard and was now trying to swim with both her hands tied. A shrieking noise was heard.

"Do you know what those are?" Kabuto asked maliciously, "those are the shrieking eels. They only get louder when they're about to feast on human flesh."

As he said this an eel charged the bound Hinata… and was smacked away by Lee, who quickly pulled Hinata out of the water. Kabuto then tied her so she could not jump again.

o-o

In the morning, Kabuto asked, "have we lost him?"

"No. He's still following us," Sasuke replied.

Kabuto looked visibly agitated and shouted "Inconceivable!"

"Awfully far for a fisherman to sail," Sasuke sarcastically continued.

"It doesn't matter," Kabuto responded, "See? The Cliffs of Insanity."

At this point, it's important to note that the Cliffs of Insanity were named that for a reason. There was no path up, except climbing, as one could not use chakra until they reached the top. Most shinobi couldn't climb it without aid of rope.

Kabuto then strapped himself, Sasuke, and the still bound Hinata to Lee and told him to climb a rope.

Meanwhile, a man in black with an orange fox mask on his face, and a hood over his head docked his boat and proceeded to follow the people on the rope.

"He's climbing the rope," Sasuke said, interested in the black speck beneath them.

"Climb faster!" Kabuto shouted to Lee.

The black speck was getting closer, and Sasuke saw an orange mask, though he couldn't make out what it was supposed to look like.

"He's gaining on us," he remarked, trying to sound disinterested despite his fascination at the speck's determination.

"Climb faster or you're fired!" Kabuto shouted. Lee picked up the pace and made it to the top. Kabuto pulled out a kunai and cut the line, causing the rope to fall. The trio looked over the edge, Hinata in Lee's arms, thus able to see as well. The speck was still climbing, using the rocks as his climbing tools.

"He didn't fall?" Kabuto mourned, "Inconceivable!"

"I don't think you know that inconceivable means can't be conceived, as it's clearly conceivable, as he thought of it in the first place, which means that, yes, it can be conceived," Sasuke said mockingly.

"Well, he's clearly seen the Hyuuga, and therefore must die. So, just stay behind and wait for him," Kabuto says, "If he falls, good. If not, kill him."

"He has a sword. I think I'll fight him with swords," Sasuke said.

"You know the hurry we're in!" Kabuto said.

"If I fight him with any jutsu, it won't be a fair fight," Sasuke said "I use a jutsu; it'll be over too quickly," Sasuke countered, "I can't in good conscience kill him with a jutsu."

"Fine," Kabuto said, "Once he's dead, meet up with us."

"Be careful, Sasuke," Lee said, "Men in masks are not to be trusted."

With that, the others left. Sasuke took out his sword and limbered up. Noticing that the black speck was significantly higher, yet not very close to getting up, he called down to him, saying, "Hello there! Slow going?"

"If you can't tell," the man in black said, "this is rather difficult, so if you could keep quiet, and leave me be for the moment, that would be nice."

"I don't suppose you could hurry up," Sasuke threw back.

"Look," the fox masked fellow said, "if you're in such a hurry, you could lower a rope or tree branch, or find something useful to do."

"Yes, I could do that," Sasuke said, "There's a lot of rope up here, but I don't think you would trust me. I'm waiting here to kill you, you see."

"Ah. That does put a bit of a damper on our relationship," the man in black said.

"I promise that I won't kill you until you reach the top," Sasuke said casually.

"That's very touching, but, you'll just have to wait," the man in black responded sarcastically.

"I hate waiting," Sasuke responded, "What if I gave you my word as a samurai?"

"No good," the man in black replied, "I've known too many samurai."

"Is there any way you'll trust me?" Sasuke responded, eagerly anticipating the fight.

"Nothing comes to mind," the man in black replied.

Sasuke looked at the sword in his hand for a moment, and then said, "I swear on the souls of everyone in my family, the Uchiha clan; you will make it to the top alive."

"Toss me your rope," the man in black replied trustingly. Sasuke unraveled the long remainder of rope and tossed it to the man in black who made quick work of climbing up.

The man in black moved to unsheathe his sword once at the top, but Sasuke grabbed his forearm and said, "We'll wait until you're ready."

"Thank you," said Mr. Fox, which was what Sasuke mentally dubbed the man in black due to his fox mask. He proceeded to remove his boots and pour out several stones, and then put them back on.

"You don't happen to have six fingers on your right hand, do you, Mr. Fox?" Sasuke asked.

"Do you always begin conversations like this?" Mr. Fox responded.

"Yes. My entire family was slaughtered by a six-fingered man," Sasuke responded, "You see, my father was a brilliant sword maker of great talent. One day, the six-fingered man requested a specially made sword, so my father made it. When the six-fingered man came, he asked for the sword at half-price. My father refused, so the six-fingered man slew my father, entire family, except for me. I had picked up the sword and had charged at him, but he defeated me with a kunai, and said I was unfit to kill. But he gave me these."

Sasuke showed two slashes, one on each cheek and continued, "Ever since that day, I studied fighting, learning every style I could, so that one day, I can defeat him. When we meet again, I will tell him 'Hello, my name is Sasuke Uchiha. You killed my family. Prepare to die.'"

"And you've done nothing but study combat your whole life?" Mr. Fox asked, "What are you doing here, then?"

"It's been years, yet, I've still yet to find the six-fingered man. There's little money to be found in the 'avenger' business, so I work for Kabuto to pay the bills."

"I see," Mr. Fox said, "I hope you find him. I suppose it is time to fight."

"You're ready?" Sasuke asked, curiously.

"Even if I wasn't, you've been more than fair," Mr. Fox responded, unsheathing his sword.

"You seem like a decent fellow, Mr. Fox," Sasuke said, "I'd hate to kill you."

"You seem like a decent fellow, yourself," Mr. Fox returned, "I'd hate to die."

With that, they began to fight, though it seemed like they were training, or playing, as they kept aiming for the blade of each other's swords, as opposed to the swordsman, themselves.

"Ah, you're using 'Iruka's Defense' against me!" Sasuke shouted, noticing Mr. Fox's stance.

"I thought it fitting, given the rocky terrain," Mr. Fox responded, stepping to higher ground.

"Naturally, you must expect me to attack with 'Madara'," Sasuke replied following him.

"Naturally, but I find 'Namikaze' cancels out 'Madara'. Don't you?" Mr. Fox remarked, leaping down.

"Unless the opponents studied his 'Kakashi'," Sasuke replied as he did a flip over Mr. Fox, "Which I have."

The battle continued, leading to the cliff's edge, with Sasuke having nowhere to go but over the edge. Sasuke decided now was the time to play his trump card.

"I must admit, you are better at swordplay than I," Sasuke said, smirking.

"Then why are you smirking?" Mr. Fox asked.

"Because I know something you don't know. I am no mere swordsman."

With that, Sasuke substituted himself for a rock behind Mr. Fox and stabbed him in the shoulder, feeling wrong for such an underhand attack.

"That was… very good," Mr. Fox replied haltingly, "But there's something I have to tell you."

"What is that?" Sasuke asked.

"I'm no mere swordsman either," Mr. Fox said. Then, he disappeared in a puff of smoke, revealing himself to be a shadow clone. A look of surprise came across the Uchiha's face as he turned to see his worthy combatant holding a sword behind him. A great fight was about to ensue.

"Who are you, really, Mr. Fox?" Sasuke asked, his curiosity piqued by his opponent's skill.

"Nobody of consequence," Mr. Fox replied.

"I must know," Sasuke said amiably.

"Life is full of disappointments," Mr. Fox responded simply. Sasuke nodded in agreement and the battle continued.

Sasuke used multiple Chidori strikes, while Mr. Fox used multiple Rasengan strikes against him. Both dodged each other's strikes, kunai and shruriken thrown by their opponent. Then, Mr. Fox did the unexpected. He made 1000 shadow clones, and surrounded Sasuke.

Sasuke, acknowledging defeat, laid down his sword and asked Mr. Fox, "As I am going to die, will you avenge my family for me?"

"I would sooner destroy a beautiful porcelain statue than an artist such as yourself," Mr. Fox replied genuinely, "Still, as I can't have you following me…"

Sasuke felt the hilt of Mr. Fox's sword hit the base of his neck. Then, everything went black.