So You're Dating A Superhero…
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The Fourth Rule
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Take up martial arts.
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There are many reasons for this.
The first is that, as you are romantically linked to a Superhero, this makes you a target for anyone who seeks to cause him mental anguish. Learning martial arts gives you a chance to turn things round and present him with hogtied villains when he returns from his patrol.
He will be most grateful for this.
The second reason is that it will help you develop more strength, stamina and flexibility. Since many heroes boast increased strength as a secondary power, this will help you survive with only minor bruising should he forget himself in the throes of passion.
It will also allow you to keep the throes of passion going for longer and in more exciting ways, resulting in a far more enjoyable experience for you both. You really don't want a Wham, Bam, thank you ma'am.
The third reason is that learning martial arts helps with your general fitness. Living with a Superhero can occasionally be rather exhausting and colapsing on the floor while gasping for air is probably not something you want to do too often.
Other reasons include increasing your social circle or getting to know the significant others of your boyfriend's team-mates better. Hitting the town after the lessons can be fun, there are few better bonding experiences than taking it in turns to demonstrate your skills on the idiotic mugger that tried to steal your purse.
The look on your Boyfriends face when he comes swooping in to save the day only to be presented with said mugger tied up and defeated can be very amusing as well.
Martial Arts can help you release the tensions that are caused by living with a Superhero. The self-discipline that it teaches will allow you to cope with the unexpected changes in plans and the semi0regular but unpredictable upheavals in life that you will undergo. The underlying principle of most martial arts is to control the things affecting you by controlling yourself first and formost. As such, I cannot recommend this course of action highly enough.
Besides, it'll keep you toned. If you don't have my special abilities, then this facet is not to be looked down upon.
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The Fifth Rule
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Pay attention to his stories about the supervillains that he fights.
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Sooner or later, you will encounter one of the supervillains that your boyfriend has fought. If you haven't paid any attention to his stories, you will be unable to find a way out of the situation.
Many supervillains have a weakness. Some need fire in order to use their powers, disable the flamethrower and they are suddenly bereft of their main abilities. Others have allergies you might be able to take advantage of, or have weaknesses you can capitalise on.
In addition to this, paying attention to his stories means that when he mentions one of his regular adversaries, you can drop a comment in that tells him that you are interested and paying attention. This will raise his levels of self-esteem at the proof that he is making a visible difference.
It's rather cute to see his face light up if you do it just right.
In addition to this, many Superheroes reflexively use past conflicts with Supervillains to refer to things. If he says that you are as good at planning as Victor von Doom then it is a compliment of the highest order. On the other hand, saying that you have hair like Sabretooth's is not anywhere near as nice.
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The Sixth Rule
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Do not feel jealous about the female team-mates he has.
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Superheroes and Superheroines often work closely together. They fight alongside each other, protect each other and know each other on a far more intimate level than anyone else could.
This does not mean that they will want to sleep together, though.
Going through the stresses and strains of a high-risk mission can expose every personality quirk and flaw. Team-mates know each others weaknesses because they rely on each other to defend them against those who can capitalise on those weaknesses. They learn every button that causes a reaction in their team-mates, often including ones that the team-mates themselves do not know about.
As a result of this, romance within a team is a great deal rarer than people assume.
Most teams come to regard themselves as something akin to family. There is the team leader (father), the team mom (not always female), the younger members tend to be the children…
As you can see, it is rare for them to think about each other in romantic terms. Especially since they know that if they have a lovers quarrel, it could shatter the team at exactly the wrong time, leaving them easy prey for their enemies.
Angsty super-teams may be good for drama on TV, but they are a disaster looking for a place to happen if they occur in real life.
You should therefore treat the female members of his team as if they are your (potential) sisters-in-law. Quite often, it is they who will be responsible for him returning to your side intact and (relatively) unscathed, so instead of jealousy, you should feel gratitude towards them.
You owe your happiness to them, after all.
