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Chapter 2

The phone felt heavy in my hands, but once I made this call I knew the weight would finally lift from my shoulders. My weariness seemed to vanish as soon as I took a hold of the portable, and I doubted sleep would succumb to me now of all times. Talking about this would be the best thing, I convinced myself. I quickly dialed the numbers I knew by heart and held the phone to my ear as it rang. After the fourth ring I was preparing to hang up when I heard her bubbling voice.

"Bella!" My best friend Alice squealed on the other end.

"Hey Ali." I said, smiling despite myself. She picked up on my somber tone and instantly jumped in, trying to figure out the problem. "You got a few minutes to talk?" I asked when she finally paused to take a breath.

"Absolutely!" She exclaimed. "Where do you want to meet?"

"How about the coffee shop?" It was halfway from my flat and nearer to hers. It seemed the obvious place.

"Meet you there in twenty." I laughed and hung up. So much for having to leave right away. Alice would, of course, want to find the perfect outfit then, and only then, would she be ready to be seen out in public. Since I hadn't slept at all the night before I decided to go take a quick shower in order to feel more alive. I stumbled out ten minutes later wrinkled and steam fresh. I pulled my hair up into a casual twist on the back of my neck and slipped into some Alice approved jeans, matching it with a loose fitting, yet still stylish t-shirt, also compliments of Alice. Makeup too two seconds, a light line of black eyeliner, and I was off. Before I stepped out the door I took a last minute peek at my painting and on a sheer whim, grabbed my charcoal drawing and put it into my briefcase portfolio. Maybe Alice would like to see it. Or maybe I could see what else would be better fitted for it. Alice's ideas were as good as mine, perhaps she could think of something more for me to draw, another piece for the art show, should there be one.

I walked into the shop just as I saw Alice sit down in a corner booth. She stood up immediately and waved me over. I smiled and hurried towards her. "Alice!" it seemed like such a long time since I had last seen her.

"Oh Bella, I'm so glad you called!" she ushered me inside the booth and began talking. "Now I wasn't sure what you wanted to talk about but then I could only think of one thing that would even be remotely important, or at least something you'd be upset about so I got to thinking-"

"Alice!" I laughed as she smiled brightly. It was so nice to laugh and be carefree, but that couldn't last for long. "Ali, I wanted to talk to you about Jake, and the baby." I whispered, fighting back tears.

"Sure Bella, you can say whatever you want." Alice, for once, was not all smiles and giggles. I felt bad for getting her upset, but I needed to talk to someone. Who better than someone who's like a sister to you?

"It hurts Alice. Every time I think about it. I try not to let it, but it's so hard. I think about what my baby could have looked like. I knew she would have been a girl," I laughed half-heartedly. Alice continued to listen, not butting it. "I had been thinking, when this first happened, that losing Jacob was the single most horrible thing, next to, losing my baby. But it's not." I sniffed and swiped at my eyes, Alice wrapped an arm around my shoulders. "My baby was the most important thing to me, and I lost her. I lost her." I broke down and just cried, as silently as I could. I was glad it was the middle of the afternoon and not many people were here. No one was near us, so no one was paying any attention to me.

"Oh, Isabella," Alice was one of the only people that could get away with calling me that. "It's normal to feel this way. I don't know anything about how you feel, and I won't try to pretend I do, but I know you. I know you're hurt. Jake shouldn't have left you the way he did. He's a jerk and you deserve better. I have no doubt that he would have done that, even if you had had the baby. You can't blame yourself for losing your child. The doctor's and everyone, including the ones who love you most, have already told you it is not your fault. Things happen, and the longer you dwell on them, the more they'll hurt."

Every word she said was true. But maybe if I had done something differently. Taken better care of myself and the baby, maybe I'd still have them both. "It's hard."

"I understand. But living in the past will get you nowhere for your future." We ended up talking for a while longer about it before Alice realized I had brought my portfolio. "Draw something new?"

"Yeah. Last night I went to the park and meet this girl. She gave me the idea." I pulled out the picture and handed it over. Alice gasped.

"It's gorgeous." I smiled shyly. She was lightly skimming her fingers over my work, not touching it enough to smudge the lines but enough to feel the power behind each stroke, each detail sketched within.

"It's the final piece I need for my show. I'm calling Aro tonight and then he'll set up a show at the museum." She squealed and pulled me into a tight embrace.

"Bella that's fabulous! I can't wait to see all your work out on display."

"Soon, hopefully."

***

I made it back to my flat almost an hour later, during which I had told Alice all my doubts and everything that has been bothering me. I felt so much better. Like maybe, I could finally move on. Three weeks doesn't seem like a long time to have to deal with the loss, but the pain accompanied by it was practically unbearable. It was not too late, so I decided to quickly call Aro so he could get me a spot as soon as possible. He answered, told me he was going to come over tomorrow morning to see it, congratulated me, and then hung up. Cheery old guy, huh?

I started my new project, an idea from Alice, but stopped an hour into it. I went to bed early that night at my flat after working, sleeping on the little cot comfortably since I was practically running on empty, and woke up the following morning to loud banging on my door. Shoot! I jumped out of bed, wrapped a robe around my shoulders and skidded to the front door. I yanked it open to see Aro. His eyes lightened when he saw me all disheveled and three-quarters of the way asleep, then walked on in.

"Morning Bella." I mumbled something unintelligible. "Where's this piece of artwork?"

I walked over to my bed where my new piece and the charcoal piece were stacked together. "Here's the finished one." I handed him the first one, keeping the second face down.

"Charcoal?"

"Yep." I yawned hugely, before taking a seat on my cot. I was being a very good hostess, but I was dog tired.

"Excellent. I'll make some calls and get you that show." I thanked him and then he asked about the other drawing near my side. I gave it to him. "Wow." was all he said. After a few minutes he added, "This will be great when finished." I smiled. It was going to be a watercolor, something new for me. I wanted a softer way to enhance the features of the portrait. When it was done, I had no doubt that it was going to be one of my best pieces yet.