[I do not, and never will, own Codename: Kids Next Door.]
Chapter 3: Operation: D.O.N.U.T.T.Y.
[The scene with the Toiletnator being thrown out of the window]
Take 1:
"Take 1! ACTION!"
The Toiletnator had just been 'defeated' by Numbuh 1, and was now being thrown out of the window.
"You miserable Kids Next Door may THINK you can keep me down, but I'll be back!" he shouted.
He was thrown out of the window, and screamed, "I'LL BE BAAAAACK!" right till... he got launched by a spring which sent him soaring up and up into the air, and up into outer space, where he kept going until he hit Planet Dung.
"CUT! Who put a springboard where he was supposed to land?"
Take 2:
"Okay, take 2!"
"You miserable Kids Next Door may THINK you can keep me down, but I'll be back!" the Toiletnator shouted.
He was thrown out of the window, and screamed, "I'LL BE BAAAAACK!" right till he... landed on a nearby fencepost and hit his crotch, making him scream like a little girl so loud, all the glass in all the windows of America shattered.
"CUT!" The director screamed. "And get him to a doctor!"
Take 3:
"Okay, take 3!"
"You miserable Kids Next Door may THINK you can keep me down, but I'll be back!" he shouted.
He was thrown out of the window, and screamed, "I'LL BE BAAAAACK!" right till he flew into the Faulty Bagpipe Superstore from Skatoony.
"CUT! That was stupid, but I suppose they'll do!"
[Numbuh 86's Mission Briefing]
Take 1:
The siren blared, and the KND members came to the screen.
But instead of Numbuh 86 appearing on the screen, Rick Astley appeared on the screen, singing his song 'Never Gonna Give You Up'.
"What the-" said Numbuh 4. "Numbuh 5 just thinks we got rickrolled." Numbuh 5 said.
"Of course, you did, stupid!" the director snapped. Numbuh 5 was mad. "HEY! Nobody calls Numbuh 5 stupid and gets away with it!" And with that comment, she started beating up the director like there was no tomorrow.
And she threw the director out of the window, and into the Mousetrap Factory from Skatoony.
"Wow." said Numbuh 4 to Numbuh 5. "Remind me never to get on your bad side."
Take 2:
The siren blared, and the KND members came to the screen.
The screen appeared blank, but Numbuh 86's voice was heard.
"Attention, Sector V! This is Numbuh 86! While you slackers have been lounging around doin' nothin..."
She stopped. "HEY! WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU! WHY IS THE SCREEN BLANK?"
"We're here, Numbuh 86! What's the problem?" Numbuh 1 said.
"THE PROBLEM IS THAT I CAN'T SEE YOU!"
"CUT! Can somebody fix the screen?"
Take 3:
The siren blared, and the KND members came to the screen.
The screen appeared blank.
"Cut! Where is Numbuh 86? She just missed her cue!"
Outside the studio, Numbuh 86 was struggling with the door to the women's restroom. It was stuck.
"Darn my toilet break!" she snapped. "Darn these faulty doors!
Take 4:
The siren blared, and the KND members came to the screen. Numbuh 86 appeared on it.
She shouted, "Attention, Sector V! This is Numbuh 86! While you slackers have been lounging around doin' nothin' all day, there has been an incident at Kids Next Door Arctic Base!"
"What kind of incident?" Numbuh 1 asked.
"The 'kind of incident' were ALL of the Kids Next Door's greatest villains have escaped from our Maximum Security Prison! I'd get the real sector to help out, but unfortunately everyone else is at the beach!"
"I told you we should have went to the beach today." Numbuh 5 said to Numbuh 1.
Numbuh 86 continued. "So, it's up to you to recapture the villains, and take them to our Extra-Sooper-Triple Maximum Security Prison on the dark side of the moon!"
Numbuh 3 liked the sound of what Numbuh 86 had just said. "An extra-sooper-triple maximum..." and then she burst out laughing.
"CUT!"
"Aww!" said Numbuh 4. "And we were doing so well!"
Take 5:
Numbuh 86 continued. "So, it's up to you to recapture the villains, and take them to our Extra-Sooper-Triple Maximum Security Prison on the dark side of the moon!"
Numbuh 3 liked the sound of what Numbuh 86 had just said. "An extra-sooper-triple maximum security prism?"
"CUT! Numbuh 3, it's 'prison'!" The director shouted.
"Well I think prism is much nicer!"
"Oh the indignity!" the director sighed.
Take 6:
Numbuh 86 continued. "So, it's up to you to recapture the villains, and take them to our Extra-Sooper-Triple Maximum Security Prison on the dark side of the moon!"
Numbuh 3 liked the sound of what Numbuh 86 had just said. "An extra-sooper-triple maximum security prison?" What a perfect place to cheer up those meanies!"
Numbuh 86 wasn't interested though. "So what are you dopes standing around for?" she shouted. "Gramma Stuffum has taken over the Sprinkle Puff Donut Shoppe, and is filling the donuts with SPINACH! Get over there and haul her kalister of clogbutt..." By now, she was now ranting and blasting out swear words like it was nothing.
"CUT! Numbuh 86, we're trying to make a kids videogame, not an R-rated one!"
"Oh, shut the **** up!" shouted Numbuh 86, and she punched the director in the head over and over.
Numbuh 4 sat down, ate popcorn, and watched the show.
Take 7:
[From after Numbuh 3's line]
Numbuh 86 wasn't interested though. "So what are you dopes standing around for?" she shouted. "Gramma Stuffum has taken over the Sprinkle Puff Donut Shoppe, and is filling the donuts with SPINACH! Get over there and haul her kalister of clogbutt up to the moonbase! AND STEP ON IT!"
But she screamed "AND STEP ON IT!" so loud, all the power went out.
"CUT! THAT BRAT IS SO GONNA PAY!" The director screamed.
Numbuhs 1, 2, 3, 4, and 5 all stepped back, feeling nervous and/or frightened.
[After the Mission Briefing]
"Spinach via donuts?" said Numbuh 5, shocked at what Numbuh 86 had said earlier. "Did I happen to mention that Numbuh 5 is allergic to growth?"
"We've got to stop her!" said Numbuh 2. He turned to Numbuh 5. "Are you really allergic to growth?"
"Naw!" said Numbuh 5. "Numbuh 5 was joking!"
"And the director says THOSE AREN'T YOUR LINES, STUPID!" The director screamed.
Then Numbuh 4 and Numbuh 5 beat him up together.
And then they did the rest of the level cutscene like normal.
"Spinach via donuts?" said Numbuh 5, shocked at what Numbuh 86 had said earlier. "Did I happen to mention that Numbuh 5 is allergic to growth?"
"We've got to stop her!" said Numbuh 2.
"Right," said Numbuh 1. "I'll go after Gramma Stuffum. Numbuh's 2, 3, ... and 5, spread out to see if you can track down any of the other escaped villains."
"Hey! What about me?" said Numbuh 4. "We need you to stay here and defend the Treehouse in case any of those villains try a sneak attack." Numbuh 1 said as he, Numbuh 2 and Numbuh 3 headed out.
Numbuh 4 was shocked. "What? But-"
"Don't wait up for us, homebody!" Numbuh 5 teased. And as she left, she said, "And you might wanna brush up on some of those 'special videogame moves' while we're gone!"
[The In-Level Text Intermissions]
[Don't sue me if they're in script format, OK?]
Intro:
Numbuh 1: The Sprinkle Puff Donut Shoppe! Of all the sacred, sugar-coated places Gramma Stuffum could violate...
Gramma Stuffum: Oh ho hooo... soon, Numbuh 1... skinny childrens around ze world will have my delightful liver and spinach pastr-yhee-hee-hee-he!
Director: CUT!
Giant Oven & Spinach Soldiers:
Numbuh 1: Why on earth would Gramma Stuffum need an oven that size?
Gramma Stuffum: Oh-ho-ho-ho-hoooo skinny boy... why eats so many tiny donuts when just one of my fat-tastic Mega Donuts can plump you up oh so nicely?
Numbuh 1: You'll never get away with this, Gramma Stuffum!
Gramma Stuffum: Oh, but I WILL... and my nutritous Spinach... ha ha ha ha ha!
Director: Oh crap!
Inside The Giant Oven:
Numbuh 1: Gramma Stuffum, I will never allow you to deny kids the sugary sweet taste of Sprinkle Puff Donuts! You're going back to prison, where you'll never touch so much as a spatula... HA ha ha ha ha!
Director: CUT CUT CUT CUT!
Revolting Food Dream Joke:
Numbuh 1: You know Gramma, I had a dream last night about eating a luscious gorilla gizzard dinner, complete with cockroach stuffing, rotten sweet potatoes and moose brain gravy!
Gramma Stuffum: Really?
Numbuh 1: Actually, YES!
Gramma Stuffum: [pukes]
Director: CUT! WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT, NUMBER 1? YOU WEREN'T SUPPOSED TO SAY YES!
Numbuh 1: Sorry. I couldn't resist!
Chunk Wagon Boss:
Gramma Stuffum: So... haven't had enough of Gramma's cooking yet I see...
Numbuh 1: Stuff it Stuffum! It's time to trade in your oven mitts for hand-cuffs!
Gramma Stuffum: Oh-ho-ho-ho... but I'm afraid you haven't cleaned your plate yet my skinny scarecrow! Not to worry... My Chunk Wagon has just ze thing to help you childrens put some... MEAT ON YOUR BONES!
Numbuh 1: Oh come on! That's the lamest joke I ever heard!
Director: AND THOSE AREN'T YOUR LINES, STUPID!
Numbuh 1: WHAT? [turns to Gramma Stuffum] Truce?
Gramma Stuffum: OK.
Director: Oh dear...
*The director is beaten up by Numbuh 1, and Gramma Stuffum throws him out and into the Pointy Pin Factory from Skatoony]
Gramma Stuffum: Now where were we?
*She and Numbuh 1 do battle like in the game*
Note: there won't be In-Level Text Intermission Bloopers for all the chapters, but... ah well, you can't have everything, can ya?
READ AND REVIEW!
