January 2, 2011

You've already read the best version of chapter 26, but there are those among you who love all the details/deleted scenes. There's a couple of scenes from Castle's viewpoint that were unnecessary. You get to read them here. Also, I included a previous version of the culminating scene with Castle and Beckett, though not as polished, they had sex. (Not smut. I'd still rate this T for teens.) I liked the extra layer it added to their conversation, as well as the chapter title it allowed me. It should be fairly obvious, if you think about it, why the sexual aspect was removed in the final draft. But don't think about it, just enjoy the intimacy for what it is.


Full Circle

CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

Day 43 Continued

Brushing his teeth the night before had done nothing to alleviate the bad taste Rick now woke with. Thank God for Alexis, he thought to himself. She'd pushed him to drink water, helping him avoid the worst of the hangover.

Wait—He roused with a start. How had she known that? He shoved the thought aside with a mental note for later and stretched. Again, he remembered his daughter's serious eyes staring at him over bowls of Ben and Jerry's.

He remembered. It came back to him in flashes; the ultrasound revealing their baby and its stilled heartbeat, his aching quest for oblivion and then… Kate.

He rolled onto his side to stare at the disposable coffee cup she'd brought him. Remembering her finding him alone and miserable at Bubby's, their walk home together. Something had changed between them. She'd taken his arm last night, admitted that she'd wanted to see him yesterday morning, even wearing her motorcycle leathers for him…

I'm hurting too, she'd confessed, her voice little more than a whisper and then, stronger, I'm more concerned about what's happening between us.

Between us… Did she mean romantically or their work relationship? Surely he didn't mistake the gentleness in her eyes—or touch? Unbidden, a smile curved over his face remembering. Us. Rick Castle and Kate Beckett. Was Kate interested in Us?

His smile widened. "Us," he whispered, savoring the word, the images it evoked. Sometime soon, maybe he'd fall asleep holding her.

He pushed the drawer closed as his eyes lit on the wadded paper napkin on the night stand. He picked it up, smoothing it flat against the mattress. Kate's new address was scrawled on a Bubby's napkin. Again he smiled. She was on call last weekend, which means she'd be off today. Knowing Kate, she'd be up early...


Rick hesitated, at the foot of Kate's stoop, staring up at the door to the apartment building. He needed her. Every thought and action this morning had centered on seeing her, talking to her, and… He didn't dare hope for more, but… his arms ached to hold her. If this meeting today could include a few moments of silence with Kate wrapped in his arms… It seemed more than he dared hope for.

Again he frowned at the flowers in his hands, shaking his head. They were wrong, all wrong. He should have gone for the bright, cheery dahlias, or a mixed bouquet to send the message, I care about you. Even the romantic overtones of red roses would have been a better choice.

The white roses, tied with a pink ribbon, would have been perfect at their baby's birth. But now? The cellophane crinkled as he shifted, staring at the flowers clasped in both hands. What was he thinking? Even an everyday offering of coffee and scones would be safer than a bouquet that would remind her of the impending miscarriage every time she saw it.

It wasn't too late to pitch them. He could show up empty-handed—no. He wanted to offer her something—Today of all days he needed to bring her something, something extraordinary. Didn't he?

Again, he pondered delaying their conversation long enough to find something more appropriate, maybe brunch in a bag? If only there was a coffee shop on her street. Why did she have to live on the only street in New York City without a coffee stand?

He'd delayed too long already. He needed her. He needed to know where they stood in this emotional maelstrom before he could put himself back together. He sighed heavily, trooping up the stairs to the heavy security door.


It wasn't their first kiss. That was lost, weeks ago, in a flurry of scattered clothing and sudden passion on the night they'd conceived their child. This was everything a first kiss was intended to be, hesitant, tender, and sweet. They drew back to stare into each other's eyes, a sudden shyness between them.

She brushed his hair back over one ear, avoiding his gaze for a moment, and then her fingers pressed against his neck. She drew him nearer to taste him again. She was about to pull away when his hand pressed against her back, their kiss catching them up in a slow unfurling of their emotions, a communion after the many weeks of uncertainty.

Tear after tear slid soundlessly over her cheeks, even as she opened her mouth to his, the kiss deepening to something more than either intended.

It was almost a repeat of the last time, the passion rising unexpectedly between them. He clasped her against him and she felt him and whimpered low in her throat. It wasn't enough. She needed to feel him along the length of her body, to feel him against her, between her thighs—inside her… She needed to hold him in her arms, in her body and know that this, at least, would not slip from them. She needed him. Now.

They rode the wave, drawing each other into an urgent embrace, coming together in passion, raw and visceral. There was no time for thoughts or words to get in the way, but in a simple joining driven by the heat of their grief and love, each devouring as much of the other in touch, as possible.

It was quick, each of them so raw and emotional, neither had control, or the presence of mind to use it. So much pent up desire between them, it was mere moments before she gasped. He cried out, a low moan that was her name, and they lay still, entwined in each other's arms, holding their consolation prize and the tears flowed again.

They lay, joined but still. Her arms were wrapped around him, his face pressed into the hollow formed between the crook of her shoulder, and her hair, breathing in her scent; content for the moment.

There would be time later, to make love again, to take their time exploring the expression of their devotion, expanding the frontier of their relationship. This first, primal joining was driven by their needs for comfort, connection, and belonging. It left them satisfied, but with a slow, burning desire for their next union.

Rick rolled to one elbow, watching her, his expression serious. She met his gaze, unblinking, committed. Neither looked away until at last he spoke.

"I need to know that you're in, that this isn't just about sex, or the baby; that this is a beginning, that in a year we'll be more than we are now, that you won't disappear into the night. I need to know that I mean something to you, more than your partner, lover, or the father of your—our…"

He swallowed and she cupped his cheek in her hand, the hollow of her palm cradling his cheekbone as she looked directly into his eyes. Her thumb brushed the corner of his mouth as she shushed him. There was a beat of silence as she held his gaze before continuing. "I'm in, all in, nothing held back." Her tongue darted out, wetting her lips. A gentle smile played with her mouth, but he still looked grave.

"Rick," her voice was deeper, felt tighter as her throat wanted to close around the words. She pushed on. "I am in love with you. I want to wake up to your face every morning, and fall asleep in your arms at night." She closed her eyes for a moment and a single tear squeezed out, sliding over the curve of her cheek. "I wanted to make a family around our baby, with you," she whispered brokenly. Her eyes opened again, vulnerable and soft, another tear slid down her cheek. "And I still want that."

He took in every nuance of her expression and the cadence of her voice. At her final words, he buried his face in her hair again, his lips brushing her neck as he nuzzled closer, his eyes tightly shut as he struggled with the depth of his emotion. His muffled voice gave it away.

"I love you, Kate."

She wrapped her limbs more tightly around him. "I love you too."


The following obviously doesn't fit but I still enjoyed this possible interaction for the above sex scene. So, just for fun... They're hot, heavy and naked…


"Condom." Castle broke the kiss, reaching for his jeans, all inside-out on the floor between two boxes.

"Condom?" Kate sat up, panting and incredulous.

Rick grunted, then rolled onto his side, facing her, his wallet in his hand.

"Why? Because it worked so well before?"

"Well, I—"

"Rick, I'm already pregnant," she planted her hands on either side of his chest, leaning forward, she kissed him deeply.

"But, I—I always— It's a habit—" he stuttered, his wallet still in his hand.

She plucked it from him. "Unless you know something I don't..."

His eyes widened, "No!"

She tossed it onto the floor. "I think we're good."


That's all I've got for you at this time. Thanks for indulging me.

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