Sirius is impossible. He is everything that Lily disapproves of. As a matter of fact, so is James. But that sure didn't stop her from falling for him. But Sirius is just so very impossible.
She loves James - even though he is totally insane. And Sirius - him and James are sort of like a buy-one-get-one-free scheme. Sirius is the get one free. If she wanted James, she had to deal with Sirius, too.
Sirius is everywhere James is. They are together. Always.
At first, when James and her had started going out, it was awkward. Of all of James' friends, Lily knew Remus the best. Remus was a reasonable bloke, the guy who was a buffer zone between Lily and James before they had gotten together. Peter spoke very little, and Lily didn't quite know what to say to him most of the time.
Sirius, now, is a whole different matter. He is James' best friend. And that just makes everything complicated. Before she gave in to James, Lily considered Sirius to be only slightly better than James. The only difference that made her despise James more than she did Sirius was that Sirius never made an attempt at flirting with her.
Before James and her become friends, Sirius would occasionally corner her and ask her why she refused to go out with his best friend. He didn't do it often - just occasionally, when she had particularly given his best friend a hard time. It was a little unnerving to see Sirius Black looking worried, demanding her to accept James' proposal.
Like the day when she lost her best friend. She doesn't even remember calling James all those names that Dorcas very kindly reminded her of - "Bullying toerag" and "arrogant." No, she doesn't remember anything about that day except for the word "Mudblood" forming on Severus' mouth. But then, in the evening, right before dinner, as she is walking towards the Great Hall, Sirius catches up with her. He is surprisingly without his Partner-in-crime.
"Evans, wait up!" he calls from behind. She stops, raises her eyebrows, waits for him. "Can we talk?" he asks.
She looks at him warily, but nevertheless says, "All right."
"Shall we?' he asks, gesturing that they should walk and talk.
"So, what is it?"
"Today," he begins. "in the afternoon -" But he is interrupted.
"Hey, Sirius!" a fourth year girl yells out, flipping her hair and throwing a glower towards Lily.
He raises a hand in recognition, and continues, "You were a little harsh, no?"
"No." she snaps. "Your friend was an arse, and he deserved every word of what I said. I don't want to go out with him, and he doesn't seem to get that. He bullied Severus for no reason - "
"Are you thick?" Sirius interrupts, incredulous. "Where you even there? Snivellus was the arse! Might I remind you that Snivellus called you a 'Mudblood'? Did you notice that? Or were you too busy trying to see Prongs as the bad guy? James was trying to protect you, and you turned against him."
"Look, Black, Potter wasn't trying to protect me. He was just trying to act like the good guy. People here put him up on a pedestal," she says, disgusted and irritated. "They make him out to be some sort of a hero, and he likes the attention. He's so full of it. Well, I refuse to follow the trend."
"You know who's full of it? You are. Full of shit. That's right, Evans." he says, and walks away. She stares after him. She doesn't know why, but she is a little befuddled, a little ashamed, and even a little impressed.
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In the seventh year, James and her decide to put aside their differences, and become friends. Mostly, this is because of the head duties. Dumbledore, when he had had a meeting with them, had subtly hinted to them that a Head Girl who didn't get along with the Head Boy would be a disaster for everyone.
So, they now have this thing where they say 'hello' to each other in the hallways. She could tell that it surprises Sirius when it first happens.
"Hello, Lily ." James says.
"Hello, James." she says. And right then, Sirius raises his eyebrows at James. It isn't much, but it is something. It's probably the use of first names that really throws Sirius off.
A week later, she sits with James at breakfast, and Sirius asks her why. He just asks her - straight out. No hesitation. And she stutters, flustered. Urgh, he is so impossible, she thinks at that point. He is doing it on purpose, just to make me flustered.
""Um. Actually, I was waiting on Potter to finish so that we can get some important business out of the way." she says, her face resembling a tomato.
A month later, she laughs at joke made by James. Really laughs at it. Sirius doesn't say anything. Instead, he smiles at her, and she feels so exposed. He knows, she thinks.
And before she knows it , before she can even imagine, she has fallen. Fallen in trouble. In deep, deep… love.
She sees James so much as talking to another girl in their year, and she feels her heart clenching. Jealous.
Ha. Jealous. Over James. This is new. Or maybe it isn't new. Maybe she just started to recognize it. It drives her nuts. She can't see him with other girls. He suddenly has this power over her. Marlene is over there right now, talking to him. She is pretty, Marlene is. And well, James is laughing and teasing her. They look really cozy sitting next to each other near the common room fire place. They do. And the thing is, Marlene is really nice, and Lily likes her. So, it's hard for Lily to hate her.
But, oh, her heart aches. And she keeps looking over at them.
"Hey, Evans." She looks up from staring at them, and - Sirius Black. Urgh. Caught again. By the same idiot. He is smiling that dimpled smile of his. Moron. He knows. "So…" he says, looking over at James and Marlene. "Merry Christmas."
"It's not Christmas yet. It's not Christmas until next week." she says, bewildered.
"Yeah, I was just trying to make conversation."
"Oh."
He takes a seat across from and looks at her closely.
"What?" she asks, irritated.
"Your eyes are greener than usual." he says, smiling. He throws another glance at James and Marlene.
Impossible.
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