Instance #3

Nick Fury really, REALLY hated Tony right now.

"You see this?" On the other side of the screen, a digitized version of Tony Stark waved his middle finger at him mockingly.

"Yeah, I see it." Nick set his jaw tight.

Tony smirked and pushed it into the camera a little. "Oh good, cuz I was afraid I hadn't made my point clear enough."

Nick shook his head. "Can we pretend to be adults for a little while, Tony?"

"Absolutely not. If being an adult means kicking Brucey boy out, no way." The picture flickered slightly. Tony was actively trying to cut their conversation short. "You listen good, Fury. We might be your precious little baby of a team, but you don't own us. And I am NOT giving you Bruce. He's helping me, and he's perfectly fine. Leave him alone."

Then the screen went black.

Nick Fury sighed heavily, rubbing his temples. He really hated that man. "Agent Hills?"

His new right hand looked up from her console. "Sir?"

"Prepare my jet and a few dozen men. Tony wants to do this the hard way."


Hawaii had been wonderful.

It had been a very strange experience, being somewhere beautiful without having a mission or someone to kill, but both Clint and Natasha had more than managed. They'd really gotten to know each other.

Somehow she suspected that was the whole point of Tony inviting the Avengers to their new HQ: To make fun of her and Clint mercilessly. Yes, love was for children. But really, after everything, she felt a little childish. And it had been wonderful. So when Tony poked Clint and jeered about how his nether regions were the property of the USSR, she could almost forgive him.

Almost.

"How do you two kids like the tower?" Tony had gotten started drinking well before either of them arrived, and Bruce and Steve hadn't even shown up yet. She rolled her eyes in annoyance, but he ignored it. "The Avengers tower, a beacon of light for all mankind. I'm getting teary-eyed just thinking about it." He fairly radiated pride. "There's rooms for all sorts of stuff. Hawkeye, remind me to show you your archery course."

Clint's eyes lit up. "Are you serious?"

"Course I am. Serious as a heart attack." He leered at Natasha. "You can always join him there, you know. I put your rooms close together on purpose." Tony laughed a little too loudly. "Then there's Steve's room, which I left blank for him to decorate however he wants. I didn't know what nostalgic shit he wanted, so I'll leave the decorating to him."

Natasha nodded a little. An arrogant prick he might be, but he took everyone into consideration. "What about Bruce? Don't suppose you built him a room, did you?"

"Where is he anyway?" Clint grabbed a drink that smelled too strong for Natasha's liking. "You said he'd be here."

Natasha really doubted the good doctor would actually show up. He was a sweetheart, but that was his problem. "Is he in hiding again? I feel kind of bad for him, always putting himself away like tha-"

"Actually…" Tony smiled. "He's been living here for two months."

Both of them jumped out of their seats, shocked. "What?" Clint shook his head. "Does Fury know? Who did you have to bribe to let him stay here?"

"Tony, do you have any idea how many people you put in danger!"

"What if he lost it? It could be the Harlem Massacre all over again!"

"And you just spent millions of dollars fixing this place up! He could tear it apart like it's NOTHING!"

Tony slammed his drink down. His face had turned as red as his suit. "Don't you EVER talk about him like that! He's better than you'll EVER be-"

"Ahem."

They all turned to the door. Apparently, Steve had arrived while they had been arguing, and Bruce had walked him in. The doctor looked like he was ready to crawl under a rock and die. Steve just glared at them. "Sorry I'm late, but I can see you started drinking without me." He patted Bruce on the back and walked in, with Bruce mumbling something under his breath and running out of the room. Tony swore and followed him out, slamming various doors just to be heard.

Natasha felt the Cap's eyes boring into her. She sighed. "Ten bucks says the tower won't last the night."

"You're on."


"Fuck her."

Bruce didn't like it when Tony got angry. It was almost too ironic to bear. "Look, Bruce, if she makes you uncomfortable, I can move her room-"

"Tony, you built Clint's room directly connected her to hers." Bruce had thrown himself, predictably, back into his search for a cure. Anything to keep his mind off things. "You can't feasibly uproot that room without wrecking our entire floor. Besides, she's ri-"

Tony smacked the table. "Goddamnit Banner, will you SHUT UP about that!" Bruce backed away a little. Tony growled under his breath. "How many different ways do I have to tell you to give yourself a break? I don't give even a shit if you hate yourself, got it?" He grabbed his shoulder, and Bruce flinched a little. He hadn't expected Tony to be so….He couldn't explain it, but it was strange to see him so riled up. "You're not the only one with low self-esteem, you got that? If I can get over it and move on-" And then Tony fell silent, dropping his arm and turning away.

Bruce wasn't sure if he should press the issue, but how many other times was he going to get a chance like this? He offered Tony a seat and asked quietly, "Tony?"

He sat down with a thud, running a hand through his messy black hair. "Two years ago, alright? The palladium in the arc reactor was…it was killing me. Like you so aptly said, I got low." He gave Bruce a knowing look. "Except, I tried everything to feel alive. Drinking, wild partying, fast cars….Pepper cried herself to sleep pretty much every night. It terrified me. Staring death in the face like that. But, I got over it." He sighed. "I get the WHY, Bruce. With my temper, having the controller grabbed from my hands drove me nuts. I can't imagine…..well, you know. But you are my best friend. And I don't make friends easy. And I am telling you to cut it out with putting yourself down like that."

An uncomfortable silence hung between them. That was far from what Bruce had expected. Someone as full of life as Tony….But then, he had attempted suicide nearly ten times now. It seems Tony knew this, or guessed at it. That was the problem with having two inhumanely smart people in the same room. Heaving a very heavy sigh, Bruce removed his glasses. "That's why you dragged me away from that jungle, isn't it? that's why you care so much. You wanted to make sure I….kept living. Is that it?"

Tony smiled wryly. "Kind of. Well, about 45% that reason. You didn't exactly hide that gun of yours when you came here. By the way, I confiscated that." Bruce groaned. He should've seen that coming. "But the real reason is, when I look at you, I see someone who hasn't enjoyed a single day of his life. Even before your little accident, am I wrong?" He had him there. Bruce shook his head. "Right. And I had quite the epiphany two years ago. I was all about enjoying life before that, but after…It's not just enjoying life. You have to love it. It's a gift. I know I sound like a sappy Hallmark card, but it's sort of true. Loving it makes dealing with the assholes of the world a million times more bearable because you know they're less happy than you." To Bruce's great surprise, Tony patted his hand. "You deserve at least a little bit of happiness, don't you think?"

Bruce couldn't help it. He smiled shyly, turning to look the other way. "Am…am I really your best friend?"

He could hear the grin in Tony's voice. "There we go. Finally, you're starting to get it. And yes, yes you are." Tony grabbed his chin and forced him to look at him. "And don't you forget it."


All Steve wanted was to get a drink of something that wasn't alcoholic.

But to his great shock, there was no sink in the bar, and according to that…THING talking from the speakers in the walls, the closest drink of water was the bathroom. But Tony's house was so big and so full of gadgets that bordered on magic, that Steve got lost with amazing swiftness. His head swam. "If I live to be 100, I don't think I'll ever catch up." He turned a corner, expecting to find the bathroom.

What he found was a weeping Pepper Potts.

"Ma'am?" Always the gallant one, Steve was at her side at once. They had only met once before, but she had left a good impression on him. Even with him being on Tony's good side now, he could still see she was far too good for him. "Anything I can do to help?"

Pepper just waved him off. "No…no…this is, this is my fault." A tear trailed down her cheek. "I should've….I never should have insulted the doctor to Tony's face, I was stupid, I…" Her voice cracked. "But he's drunk, so….so maybe it's just…." She buried her face in her arms and started to weep again.

Steve was very confused. "But what happened? What's wrong?"

"Tony and Bruce….in the lab…" She wiped her eyes. "I went looking for them, and I saw…." Another choked sob escaped. "I saw them kissing."

For a moment, it didn't register. Steve tilted his head. "Um, kissing what?"

Pepper looked at him like he was nuts. "Steve, each other. They were kissing each OTHER." She threw herself into his arm and cried harder. "I sh-should've known Tony had a crush on him. H-He never sh-shut up about Bruce…Ever….It's just not fair…."

Surely Pepper was mistaken. Two men kissing? Unheard of! Maybe in the dark places of the world where immoral things were allowed to happen, but…Steve shook his head, clearing the unpleasant thoughts away. That wasn't the issue. Whatever she saw had been bad enough to make her cry, and a crying woman was always in need of a hero. He held her tight, unsure of what to say, but rocking her back and forth slightly until she stopped crying and walked off, thanking him.

"Just doing my duty, ma'am."


Tony felt very threatened.

Pepper glared daggers at him. "Well? Answer my question. Did you, or did you not, kiss Bruce Banner?"

"First of all, Ms. Potts, it's almost one in the morning. Secondly, what I do with my lips is my business. and third, where do you get off spying on me?" He had, of course. She wasn't wrong. "But it's not what you think ok? The guy's…..I dunno, he needed…encouragement. Okay?" Somewhere in the back of his mind, he knew he was rationalizing the kiss. It had happened so fast. It took both of them by surprise, and Bruce had been so embarrassed he had ran out of the room. Tony felt slightly guilty. Deep down, he knew he'd forced himself on the good doctor, and didn't really understand why. Till now, he'd always fancied himself straight as an arrow.

At any rate, Pepper wasn't buying it. "Oh, is that what you're calling it these days? is "encouragement" code for cheating? Because that's what it is Tony! That's cheating!" Her red and puffy eyes had no more tears left. He tried to reach out to her but she shied away. In a shaky voice, she whispered, "Do you even love him?"

"Don't." He grimaced. "Just…Don't. Don't say that. Don't even bring that up. That's waters I am NOT prepared to tread."

"Well do you?"

Tony floundered for words for a bit. "I-I mean, he-" His throat seized up on him. Of course he didn't. Right? "Not like I love YOU," he wheeled, giving her his most genuine smile."

She scoffed. "You never say you love me."

"Well I'm saying it now!" He raised his voice angrily, holding his head. "It's complicated and weird and stupid, and I regret doing it, okay? You win! Now be happy!"

Pepper just shook her head like she hadn't heard him at all. "Because if you don't, then you're lying to him. And if you do, you're lying to me. Either way, you'll end up alone."

And with that, she was gone.


A/N: oh my god. I always feel sort of weird and embarrassed when a story of mine gets this much attention :) I'm VERY grateful, you guys. keep 'em coming!

And also, sorry, but this pairing is "Brony" to me. It amuses me far FAR too much.

[EDIT]: please forgive the reupload. I just realized I had some grammar errors so I fixed em.