A/N: God, has it really been two years? Hard to imagine I wrote this when I was fifteen, and yet here we are. But enough about nostalgia, I'm here to apologize about taking so long to update. My muse for this just came and went and then, out of the freaking blue, it smacked me right dab on the kisser. So while I've got the inspiration, I managed to write down Chapter 3, yay (though it's more of a filler chappie)! /throws confetti/

Now onto the fic!

Disclaimer: I don't own neither Naruto nor Sailor Moon. They belong to their respective owners.


It was on that very same fateful day that found Naruto limping to a diner not too far from the café. The people that loitered the piazza made sure to give him a wide berth, skirting around him as if he carried the plague. Though this might have been due to his ruffled appearance and the bruise on his left eye, which was swollen shut.

Thankfully, the diner was half empty and he was able to find the person he was looking for with relative ease. A pale arm shot up, her loud voice echoing in the small establishment. "Oi, oi! Naruto, over here!"

Sitting by the window was his co-conspirator and fellow matchmaker, Tsukino Usagi. Their meeting had been an unusual one involving ramen, a few scrapes and bruises and a number choice words. But here they were now, planning the 'future and lasting romance', as Usagi would swoon empathetically, between the two most unlikeliest of people. Naruto had been against it at first, scoffing at the mere idea but when his fellow blonde casually mentioned the possible availability of one Sakura Haruno, he had agreed almost readily.

Frankly, Naruto was starting to regret it. Oblivious he might have been, but he wan't that thick not to realize that Sasuke was as bullheaded as they came. The probability of them successfully pulling it off had slimmed down thanks to the little fiasco in the café. He had seen his impending death in the Uchiha's livid glare, which still brought a shudder at the mere memory of it. He was lucky enough to escape with only the feel of his knuckles against his skin and the murderous whispers of his doom. Ironically enough, that was Sasuke at his most merciful.

But when he saw the blonde girl's bubbly smile, he found his resolve to throw in the towel quiver, just a bit.

"So, how'd it go?" Usagi twittered excitedly, clapping her hands in anticipation. Soon enough, her smile morphed into a look if horror and concern when she spotted the black-eye Naruto was sporting.

With a wince, the blond took a seat before her. "Take a wild guess," he mumbled moodily. "When you said she was a spitfire, you definitely weren't kidding. She could definitely give the teme a run for his money."

Usagi cocked her head to the side, pointing at her own eye as she asked, "So was it Rei-chan who-?"

Naruto shook his head, casually stealing a handful of fries from her plate despite her frown of disproval. "Nah, w'sn't her," he managed to say over the food he had stuffed gracelessly into his mouth. "'Was teme. Y'shoulda seen 'im, 'h waf piffed."

Her brow crumpled in confusion and the slightest bit of intrigue. Wordlessly, she leaned in closer. "What happened then?"

It was as if those words had did a one-eighty on his spirits because in the next second he had perked up and the air of petulant anger had seeming vanished. Despite the fact that his cheeks were still stuffed with half-chewed fries, his lips split into a wide grin, much to Usagi's apparent disgust. Though thankfully he had the decency to swallow before he continued on with his tale. He leveled her with a gleeful look, only ruined by the violent hue of the puffy bruise on his eye. "Well, your friend apparently decided that coffee brown went well with navy blue."

The girl stared at him blankly for a moment, taking her time to process the statement. Then, with a gasp, it came to her and she clapped her hands over her mouth. "She didn't!"

He threw his head back, boisterously chortling away. "She did! It was 'bout time someone did, though. If she hadn't, I would have done it sooner or later. I'm telling you 'Sagi, that guy is a dick." But his words lacked any real spite, and she shook her head in befuddlement. Boys.

"So let me get this straight, you mean she actually doused Sasuke in coffee?"

"Uh-huh, her whole freaking cup too!"

"You seem awfully happy considering your best friend just got a face-full of coffee." Her lips pursed in mockery of a reprimand, but it wasn't hard to pick up on her amusement. He could tell from the way her voice wavered and the subtle tremors of her shoulders, as if she were barely biting back an equally loud guffaw.

"One, she didn't throw it at his face, it was his shirt, big difference there. And two, are you kidding me? That was pure comedic gold! If I had brought a camera, it would've gone viral!"

She couldn't help it, she let out a loud laugh. But soon enough, her chuckles tapered down until she had to choke back a gasp.

"Oh no!" She groaned, smacking her forehead. The poor girl looked close to tearing her pigtails, her nose scrunched in distress. He arched a brow at her. She waved her hand about, as if she were waiting for him to catch on. When she was met with a blank stare, she groaned into her palm. "Don't you see? This sets us back a few steps. Rei isn't one to forgive and forget and from what you've told me about Sasuke, neither is he."

After a beat of silence, she snapped her fingers and her lips curved into a megawatt smile. "You know what this calls for?" She whispered conspiratorially, practically radiating mischief.

"A trip to the hospital," Naruto replied, nonplussed, as he gingerly poked at his swollen eye. His efforts were met with a grimace of pain and fervent slap on his hand curtesy of Usagi.

She made a grand gesture of rolling her eyes in exasperation. "No, silly," she sighed dramatically, "This calls for some reinforcement."

"Eh? Say what now?"

Usagi didn't answer him, instead she dug through her school satchel, letting out a cry of triumph when her hand resurfaced with her phone. She flipped it open with finesse, looking very well like a woman on a mission.

"Who 'ya calling?"

She held a finger to her lips, childishly puffing her cheeks in a mockery of irritation but her attention was soon diverted back to her phone. He could only assume the person on the other line must have picked up because Usagi visibly perked and chirped, "Oh, Mina-chan, hello! Boy have I got a job for you."

Somehow, Naruto could already tell this was going to be a loooong week.


A/N: Same rules apply, I suppose. Please do leave me some CC if you have any, 'cause it really does help! Again, sorry if the characters are slightly OOC.