"Last time on Total Drama Network," host Chris says. "Our teams had to create an assigned commercial. Some were amazing, and I knew the Ugly Couch Potatoes would lose as soon as I saw Ezekiel's face. Contrary to popular belief, Zeke was not the first to go home! Sadie went packing, leaving Katie in tears. One down, twenty to go! Who will go home next? Find out here on Total! Drama! Network!"
*THEME SONG*
We join all the contestants eating breakfast at the cafeteria tent. "Wow, Chef! This doesn't look too bad!" Cameron cheers as he is next in line to get his food.
"Bite your tongue, tooth pick." Chef growls as he pours a slop of eggs onto his tray.
***Confessional***
Cameron: Without Mike or Zoey here, it's going to be hard to get far. So I'm going to go by what my mom always says: when you have an enemy, kill them with kindness! Well, if there were a less violent way to say that, I would.
***End Confessional***
"This all you got?" Brick asks as Chef gives him his breakfast. "We eat way worse stuff at basic!"
"For real." Chef laughs.
"I forget you served, Chef. What branch were you in?"
"The United States Army."
"Awesome, you aren't Canadian, just like me." Brick says walking off.
"I like that kid." Chef says.
"There's no way you actually were in the army." Amy barks.
"Shut it, prom queen!"
We join Justin, who's eating and watching girls all sitting around Alejandro. "Can I touch your hair?" Staci asks.
"Let's keep this strictly for the eyes, ladies." Alejandro says.
"Sure thing!" Ella sings.
"Can you believe him?!" Rodney asks sitting next to Justin. "Not even getting to know the girls. What a jerk."
"You're telling us, bro." Geoff says sitting with Justin and Rodney.
"That used to be me, boys." Justin says playing with his food. "What's happened to my face?!"
"Nothing, man, he just has that Mexican charm." Rodney comforts.
"Don't worry, bro, our alliance will get him." Geoff says.
"Alliance?" Rodney asks.
"Way to go, Geoff." Justin says.
"Ah, crap. Sorry dude." Geoff whines.
"If this is an alliance to get rid of that woman stealer, count me in." Rodney says.
"Hmm, an alliance with people from all three teams could be useful… It's a deal." Justin says shaking Rodney's hand.
"Sweet, dudes! We're going to run this game!" Geoff cheers as the camera zooms out and shows Alejandro glancing over at them.
***Confessional***
Alejandro: What was that I heard? An alliance just to get rid of me? Seems way too early into the season for that. Not to worry, though, idiot surfer Geoff, lover boy Rodney, and jealous Justin will have to try way harder than that. They'll probably try to drop me off at the merge. Can't control a game that's not yours, boys.
***End Confessional***
Amy walks up to the table and sits across from Justin, Geoff, and Rodney. "I'm going to sit here." She barks.
"Surprised you aren't over there with the fajita." Rodney whines.
"As if. I'm not the type of girl to fall all over a guy just because he's smoking hot." Amy barks.
"Honorable, very honorable." Geoff says.
"That's a good choice, he's trouble." Justin warns.
"You don't have to tell me twice; do I look like an idiot?" Amy asks.
"Not at all." Justin answers as Ezekiel walks up behind Amy.
"Mind if I sit here, eh?" he asks.
"Ew, not beside me!" Amy screams.
"Zeke? You didn't get eliminated?" Geoff asks.
"Heck no, homie! This time I got winning on my mind!" he says sitting next to Geoff.
"Good for you, little dude!"
"Oh contestants!" Chris says over the speakers. "Sorry to interrupts your breakfast, well, no I'm not."
"Shocker." Eva barks.
"But it's challenge time! Totem pole!"
A cut is made to the teams around the totem pole as Chris comes out to explain the next challenge. "Television has many, many different genres! Each week, your challenges will be based on a different one!" Chris says.
"Thanks for the recap, how about getting to the challenge?" Eva asks.
"Haha, you got him!" Tyler laughs.
"Well, today we'll meet over at the football field first, because it's sports show day!" Chris announces.
"YES! I GOT THIS IN THE BAG!" Tyler cheers.
"Oh? You play sports?" Jasmine asks.
"Don't you see his aura? It's his favorite thing!" Dawn says.
"Yeah! My favorite!" Tyler cheers.
"Even if he might not be so great at them."
"Hey!"
"Are we done chattering? Good. Get to the football field so I can explain our challenge, please and thank you!" Chris barks.
***Confessional***
Alejandro: At breakfast, I saw Amy sitting with those three, so I can't let her get too close. Time to use some of my Latino magic!
***End Confessional***
As the teams are walking over to the football field, Alejandro walks over to Amy. "Amy! You are looking most beautiful today!" he says.
"Yeah, I know, and I don't need some pretty boy to tell me!" she barks.
"Amy, why must you react with such venom? I am only treating you with kindness." Alejandro says.
"I know your act, pal. You can't fool me so easily like you do all of your other girls."
"Amy, it hurts that you truly do believe that I want to harm you. If that is how you feel, I shall go." Alejandro says walking off.
"Okay, bye." Amy barks.
***Confessional***
Alejandro: Playing hard to get? Reminds me of Heather… Oh, this will be a most fun season.
Amy: He literally makes me sick. Like, ew.
Topher: Did you see how messy Chris' hair was today? He really needs to fix that. No good host can host if he looks like a dump truck! He'll never see this, right?
***End Confessional***
The camera pans over to the Ugly Couch Potatoes as they walk over to the challenge. "Okay, platoon, let's not lose like we did last time. It's a game of sports, so we'll just have to use our pure athletic skills!" Brick cheers.
"Sadie loved sports!" Katie sobs.
"Really?" Ezekiel asks.
"Yes!"
"Weird."
"My great uncle played for the Ottawa Senators." Staci says.
"Good to know, do you have any hockey skills?" Brick asks.
"I don't sport."
"I don't think that's a verb, Staci." Rodney says.
"You are correct, Rodney! So smart!" Ella sings.
"Gawhh, thanks!" Rodney blushes.
"Please let us win." Brick whispers with his eyes shut.
A shot is made to the teams standing around with Chris on the football field. "Today's challenge will be cut into three of the most popular sports aired on television: Football, Basketball, and gaming!" Chris says.
"Gaming?!" LeShawna barks.
"Sweet!" Geoff cheers.
"Each challenge will only require one of you to participate." Chris says.
"Let me do all of them, I got this!" Tyler cheers.
"I wish it were that easy, but I've chosen who will participate where!" Chris says.
"Oh boy." Cameron gulps.
"Worry not, soldiers, we got this!" Brick cheers as his team cheers with him.
"At the end of each challenge, the winner will receive a point, whereas the loser will receive a negative point." Chris says.
"What's that?" Cody asks.
"Simple! Team at the end of the day with the most points wins the reward! Team with the most negative points sends someone home!"
"Easy enough." Alejandro says.
"Says you, I'll ruin my poof!" Anne Maria barks.
"Quit whining so much." Eva barks.
"I literally cannot stand you."
"Blah, blah, blah." Amy mocks.
"Please, shut up! Cameron, Anne Maria, and Staci. You three will participate in the football challenge.
"Why me!?" Cameron asks.
"Because this will be amazing." Chris laughs.
A shot is made to the three contestants standing at the end of the football field, all three holding their footballs. "All you have to do is race to the other end!" Chris says.
"Is that it?" Staci asks.
"Well, that won't be that bad." Cameron says.
"Oh, in Total Drama tradition, here's some obstacles!" Chris says as bears are released from the stadium, onto the field.
"Lovely." Anne Maria sighs.
"Go!" Chris yells as the three take off.
"Come on, Cam! You got this!" Cody yells.
"You can do this, Anne Maria!" Alejandro screams.
"Please do your best, Staci." Brick begs.
"No worries, running has been running in my family forever!" Staci laughs. "Get it?!" she asks as a bear rises from behind her and chases her in the opposite direction.
"And we're doomed." Brick face palms as Ezekiel is cracking up.
"Running in her family! That's golden!" he laughs.
"This really isn't so bad!" Cameron cheers as he runs closer to the end, before a bear pops up in his way. "Nice bear, good bear..."
"Having fun, dweeb?" Anne Maria asks as a bear does the same to her.
"I don't know, you tell me!"
"Get lost!" she yells head butting the bear in the gut with her rock hard hair, knocking it to the ground, and securing victory for the Bad Bandits.
"Bandits get the first point!" Chris announces.
"Come on, Cameron!" LeShawna yells.
"I can't, it's a bear!" he screams as Staci is chased right passed him, to the finish line.
"Staci beat Cameron… Really?" Chris asks. "First negative point goes to the Grannies!"
"Way to go, Cam." Tyler whines.
***Confessional***
Cameron: Only my second challenge and I'm already letting me team down… This is embarrassing.
Tyler: Chris did that on purpose, if I had been picked, that would have gone completely different! Just saying.
***End Confessional***
"With that pathetic display, lets skip right to the theater for the gaming portion!" Chris announces.
***Confessional***
Alejandro: Soccer. Soccer is a real sport. None of this sissy stuff Chris has us doing, and gaming? He has to be kidding us! That fat kid from season five would be good at this, whatever his name was.
Ezekiel: I'm from a farm, yo. We don't have a lot of… *confessional cuts off on him mid-sentence*
Cody: If I'm picked for this one, we are golden! Plus, it's a sure way to impress Dawn! Dang, why do I keep thinking about her?
Dawn: Cody won't stop looking at me ever since the commercial challenge. And by the way, it did impress me I must say!
Ezekiel: Hey, I think this thing went... *static interrupts again*
***End Confessional***
As the contestants are waiting at the theater, Chris walks up with three wireless controllers. "The game is simple." He says. "Cody, Alejandro, and Ezekiel will play a game of Tetris together! One with the highest score gets the point; lowest score gets the negative point!"
"This is the lamest thing I've ever had to do on this show." Alejandro whines.
"Yes! Watch this!" Cody says smiling at Dawn.
"Why does he keep doing that?" she whispers to Tyler.
"It's Cody, brah. You better hope he just doesn't try to steal your bra." Tyler answers.
"My what?!"
"Are we ready?" Chris asks.
"Born ready!" Ezekiel screams.
"Go!" Chris yells as the blocks come falling down.
"You guys are toast, I used to play this on the can all the time!" Cody brags.
"This isn't mind numbing; this is a simple puzzle. Elementary!" Alejandro cheers.
"How do you hold this thing, eh?" Ezekiel asks.
"It's a controller, even I can hold a controller!" Brick yells.
"I'm trying, yo!"
"Just one more and… There!" Cody says as he lines up a row. "Good luck beating that, Al!"
"What did you call me?!" Alejandro barks.
"You heard me!"
"What's with that?" Jasmine asks.
"Girl, something about his brother or something." LeShawna says.
***Confessional***
Alejandro: Not just my brother, the biggest jerk I've ever met in my entire life!
***End Confessional***
"Guys, you only have a minute! May want to pick it up!" Chris says.
"We got this, don't worry!" Cody focuses.
"You can do this, Alejandro." Anne Maria yells.
"I think I got it!" Ezekiel yells pushing a button. "There!"
"Zeke, you paused the game…" Brick face palms.
"Oh, good. I needed a break, eh."
"That's time!" Chris yells. "Cody has 100,000, Alejandro has 98,000, and Ezekiel has 6… Wow."
"How'd he even get that many?!" Rodney yells.
"Point for the Good Grannies!"
"Yes!" Cody yells.
"Wow, I am actually impressed." Dawn smiles.
"You totally like him." Tyler mocks.
"Him? No, I don't."
"Dudette." Geoff interrupts. "You totally do."
***Confessional***
Dawn: Me and dating don't mix well… I've had one boyfriend, and it ended bad after he stole my juice box. I'm just way too picky, and can't help but read people.
Geoff: She totally likes him.
Alejandro: That little dweeb only won because it was a pathetic game! He'll get what's coming.
Max: There has not been quite enough evil screen time this episode, so I come to you to say… *confessional interrupts*
***End Confessional***
As the teams are walking towards the next challenge, Cody walks over to Dawn. "So? What'd you think?" he asks.
"I think you have some pretty awesome skills!" Dawn answers.
"Thanks! How's that aura looking now?"
"Very egotistical. You're going to have to earn a leveled head." Dawn says walking off.
"Dude, harsh." Tyler says walking over to Cody.
"Maybe not. Way I see it; she's prepping me towards being her boyfriend!" Cody answers.
"How's Sierra going to like that?"
"Dude, I never was dating her. Besides, I finally got a restraining order after I kept finding her following me around on my college campus."
"Wow, was it that bad?"
"Let's just say she scared every girl off that even looked at me. And there's no sign of her here, which means it's Dawn o'clock!"
"Good luck, dude. You'll need it!"
"Thanks, wait, hey!"
The contestants finally arrive at the Basketball challenge, and Chris begins to explain the next challenge. "Okay, this is it. The last, super intense, basketball challenge! There's ten seconds left in the big game, and the championship title depends on this one basket! Tyler, Max, and Brick, you'll have to score an amazing trick shot to win the game!" he says.
"Wait, him?" Alejandro asks.
"Yes, me. No ball is immune to evil!" Max answers.
"Yes, I totally got this in the bag, guys!" Tyler cheers.
"Well, we used to play basketball all the time back at basic; so this shouldn't be that bad." Brick says.
"In that case, you go first Brick!" Chris says.
"You can do this, yo." Ezekiel says.
"Thanks for your encouragement, soldier." Brick smiles. Brick steps up, and scores a shot from the complete other end of the court.
"Wow." Chris says.
"Shocked?" Brick asks.
"Well, impressive, but not a trick shot. I'll give it an 8."
"I could have done better…" Rodney says.
"I'm sure!" Ella sings.
"Sadie loved basketball…" Katie sobs.
"Don't cry, I'm sure she misses you too." Rodney comforts.
"Probably… Thanks!" Katie smiles.
***Confessional***
Rodney: Gee, I wonder how I'm going to tell Katie that I love her… Ella will be crushed…
***End Confessional***
"Max, your turn!" Chris says.
"Watch and behold, teammates of doom!" Max yells laying the ball on the ground. "Listen, ball. You are my new minion. Get into the basket!"
"Wow." Alejandro sighs.
"Is he an idiot?" Amy asks.
"Curse you, you darned ball!" Max yells as he kicks the ball right into the basket.
"Woah… Combining soccer and basketball?! I love it! Ten!" Chris cheers.
"Well, feet of evil, you impress me again!" Max smiles.
"There we go, Max!" Topher cheers.
"Place at the table." Alejandro says patting Max on the back.
"Thank you, side kick." Max says.
***Confessional***
Justin: Did you hear that? It's only been a few days and that guy is already running this game! I need to stop this soon.
***End Confessional***
"You almost threw the game for us." Eva barks.
"Did I?" Max says.
"By luck, short stuff." Anne Maria barks in his face.
"Why is this troll spitting on evil?" Max asks.
"Troll?!"
"Listen, ladies, he means no harm. He did win the challenge anyway!" Justin says.
"So?!"
"Anne Maria, keep calm, you are most beautiful when you are calm." Alejandro says.
"Well, for you baby doll…" Anne Maria smiles as Amy gags.
***Confessional***
Alejandro: So Justin is trying to play his game again, eh? Not going to work. This is my game now.
Justin: Did you see that?! What's happening to me…
Amy: Did you see that? How could a girl be so stupid over a guy like that? So weak.
***End Confessional***
"Tyler, you're up man!" Chris says.
"Okay now Tyler, you got this, right?" LeShawna asks.
"Have more faith than that! I got this!" Tyler cheers. He walks on to the court, at the other end. "I call this the super-duper Tyler winning shot of awesomeness!"
"Oh my gosh… That is an awesome name!" Cody cheers. Tyler throws the ball, it bounces off the wall, then off the bleachers, then off of Anne Maria's hair, then towards the basket. Instead of going in, it hits the rim and flies towards Tyler's face, knocking him down.
"Wow. I give that a one." Chris says.
"Well, crap." Tyler whines.
"Reward goes to the Bad Bandits!" Chris cheers. "You get chicken wings from Don's Wing Shack!"
"Why does Don have so many restaurants?" Topher asks.
"Wouldn't you if your show failed? Haha!" Chris laughs.
***Confessional***
Topher: *panicking* I would DIE! Also, I thought the Ridonculous Race did well. Interesting…
***End Confessional***
"Good Grannies, meet me at the Gilded Chris ceremony in an hour!" Chris cheers.
"Well this is just great…" Jasmine says glaring at Tyler.
"What?!" Tyler defends.
An hour passes as the Good Grannies arrive at the ceremony. "Go on, vote for who's going home! You know the drill!" Chris says.
***Confessional***
Dawn: Today there was so many mixed signals. Tyler and Cameron are our weakest players. Have to pick one of them.
Jasmine: Tyler completely threw that challenge! He's out of here!
LeShawna: He may be a brother, but I got to vote for Cameron. Him and Tyler may have done bad, but at least Tyler is kind of athletic. I have no idea how that tooth pick makes it so far every time.
***End Confessional***
"Chris' for: LeShawna, Jasmine, Dawn, Cody, and Geoff. That leaves Tyler, who is not Michael Jordon, and Cameron, who is anything but athletic. And the next award goes to… Tyler!" Chris says throwing the award to Tyler.
"Me?!" Cameron gasps. "I thought I was getting along with everyone so well!"
"Sorry dude, it was a close one though." Chris says.
"Well, seconds better than first, I guess." Cameron says getting into the Lamozene.
"There we have it! Two down: nine-teen to go! Who will go next? Will the Ugly Couch Potatoes ever win again? Can Justin ever take down Alejandro down? Find out next time on Total! Drama! Network!"
