Humans are full of contradiction;
They are lonely;
And then they are not;
They are missed;
And then they are not.

-Tadayoedo Shizumazu, Saredo Naki mo Sezu

漂えど沈まず、されど泣きもせず

When I came back to the music room, the teacher was still not there and I wondered where he'd gone to. Everyone tried questioning me about the wet school uniform I was wearing. I didn't feel like answering them, so, I just said that I slipped and fell into the pond on the garden. Of course, they all laughed at my excuse. Before something big happens, the door was pushed open and Steve walked inside with a band aid on the right side of his cheek where I had thrown pebble at him. His friends noticed the difference as they walked towards him, throwing a confused look, and asked him some questions that I didn't even bother to hear.

I spent the rest of the lesson standing near the window, where the sunlight was the most intense, to help my clothing to dry faster. Five students were sitting close to me, talking about common, casual stuffs. I could tell that my high school time would be wonderful, if only Steve was not there. Sure, I could just tell the teachers about Steve threatened me and that he attacked me first that I snapped and countered by throwing a pebble at him. But really, to be frank, I didn't think that such thing could mark him off. He would try and get me silently, secretly, without me even knowing that he was the culprit. His expression spoke to me that much that I understood the consequences of telling the whole story to the teachers.

Throughout the rest of the lesson, Steve didn't even bother landing a gaze at me. He seemed like he had lost interest in me and that thought kind of made my tensed muscles relaxed. When the lunch bell screeched, my clothes were still wet and I had to put up with all the curious looks and giggles given from majority of the students walking pass me. Some even told me that I looked so wrong like that. Well sorry but it wasn't my fault that the uniform was thin and water made it see-through.

Everything else around me seemed to blur as soon as a certain silver-haired boy stared at me intensely that he could drill a hole through my face, which, I was pretty sure, he'd love to do. We both looked at each other with hate and I could almost see the thunder between our eyes. Nobody said anything for the moment and I had no intention of starting a warm, friendly conversation with him. However, instead of changing words of insults, or fists, he just smirked through the corner of his lips before walking casually past me in what seemed like slow motion, just a few centimetres on my left. He chuckled when he was the closest to my side, without lowering his pace.

After it all over, everything went back to its original state, no more slow motion in my eyes. I slowly exhaled the breath that I had been holding unconsciously. I bent my neck upwards so I was looking at the ceiling, and I sighed. Students were still moving around me, chattering and punching each other playfully. It all really looked like a normal view for high school. Without thinking about anything else, I walked my way to the rooftop where there was no one to bother me. Not many schools have one but, when some of the students told me that this school has one, I was thinking of checking it out straightaway.

I gently pushed open the wooden door and I smiled when the soothing breeze of early summer hit my cheeks, stroking my dark hair in a soft manner. The rooftop was spacious, covered in grey 10 x 10 tiles and the edges were covered in sparkling metal railing, rusted in some areas. I sat down near the railing, looking down from the four-storeys building where everything else seemed really small. I lied down on the warm ground, my right hand reaching for the sandwich that I packed myself, munching them while having my mind wander off somewhere.

"Ah," Someone opened the door which was located approximately fifteen metres from me. I twisted my neck in forty five degrees to look at who was there. "It's kind of rare seeing other student up here."

"Really?" I smiled, using my hand to help me sat down, and another rubbed my eyes since I had been closing them for who knows how long. The boy in front of me was short, probably 150 centimetres. He had blond hair and wide blue eyes and his uniform looked rather a bit too big for his frail frame. "I like it here."

"It's peaceful, isn't it?" He smiled. "Whenever I'm trying to cool my head, this is the first place that I go looking for. But," He paused to look at my questioning expression, "sometimes there are students smoking, taking drugs, or even having intercourse up here."

I choked.

The blond laughed at the sudden change of my facial expression before he sat next to me without saying anything else. "Well, that certainly ruins the moment, doesn't it?" He said, giving his right hand to me. "Sam Grest."

"Darren Shan," I smiled at his friendly attitude. "What year are you in, Sam?"

"Year seven," He retorted, looking at the blue sky, where clouds clustered up together, floating freely. "And you must be one of the seniors, judging by your different uniform. Why is it wet?" He narrowed his eyes curiously.

Before he could obtain some weird ideas, I answered his question quickly. "I slipped into the pond in the garden. I guess I was admiring it a bit too wholeheartedly."

Both of us ended up talking the whole lunchtime. Once or twice, we talked about Steve. I really was trying to pry from him as soon as he said that he knew how Steve is in the school. Based from what he said, Steve Leonard was one of the unapproachable and dangerous boys. Never try to come near him by your own will or he would just ignore you, plain and simple. If he took interest in someone, he would be the first to make a move, talk to them; and even though they think that he was already tamed as their friend, there still a chance for him to backstab them. He also told me how he never seemed like he gave a shit to school but always passed all of his tests with flying marks that could make everyone felt nothing but jealousy.

The lunch ended faster than I thought it would. But maybe it was just us tangled up in conversation like a pair of old friends.

Science was the last period for the day and I thank God because Steve was not with me in the class or I'd just slit my throat with my scissors, not wanting to put up with his mischief for yet another hour. But hey, I guess I could die of boredom in the period. The teacher was horrible. It was like he loathed teaching, questions and kids; I wondered why he worked in the school.

Thanks to the girl sitting next to me, who passed a note 'bored much?' to me, I cancelled the appointment with my scissors. I seriously could just stab myself to keep my eyes opened. It was really that boring. Debbie Hemlock, her name; both of us were passing notes back and forward to each other secretly, without getting caught by the teacher. Ahh, don't you just love the talent of smuggling things?

Time flew and before I realised it, it was already the end of school. Saying goodbye to some of the students that talked to me before, I rushed to the gate before I could meet my arch-enemy, Steve; even though deep down inside, I really wanted to settle everything between us. But, really, what good was there to use fists?

The way to my house was not that far, in fact, it was quite close to my school. Only fifteen minutes of walking and it would be visible. With my hands on my pocket, I ventured forward, looking around at the normal high school environment. If only they knew the silent killing mission owned by two of the students. But what happened today in school stays there. So, throwing the uneasiness away, I hurried home.

"I'm home. . ." I exhaled, wiping the trace of sweat on my forehead with my sleeve. It wasn't that hot, but I was marching home, so that kinda took my breath from my lungs. I shook my feet and the shoes which were dangling fell on the floor with a soft noise. Seconds later, I noticed the pair of new shoes that I hadn't seen before since yesterday. My only guess was: 'a guest?'

"Ah, Darren," My uncle opened the door slightly and peered outside; he made a gesture with his hand, telling me to come inside. I did as he commanded. "I want you to meet my old friend." My jaw fell right onto the floor when I saw the person he was pointing at; he stopped sipping the cup of tea on his hand when he noticed me coming into the room. "Larten Crepsley, this is my nephew, Darren Shan. Darren, this is Larten Crepsley."

My lips formed into a smile a heartbeat later. "Hi," I said awkwardly. "We met before, didn't we?"

"I believe so," He said, returning my smile gently. "You were the one in the train station, were you not? Looking all sleepy with your head down."

"And you were the one who almost correctly guessed my last name." I chuckled.

"Hold on," My uncle raised one of his hands in confusion. "You guys met each other?" A second later, before any of us could say anymore, he continued. "Oh, oh, yes. You told me how you were in a business. Anyway, Darren, while you're here, why don't you pay your grandpa a visit? I'm sure he'll be delighted."

A shiver ran down my spine as soon as the image of my grandfather sneaked into my mind. He really wasn't the best grandfather in the world. "Nah, I'm good. Besides, he won't like it very much if I bother him. He might as well skin me alive." I answered, rubbing my arm to calm myself down. "See you!" I forced a smile before leaving the room in a hurry, marched up the stairs and threw myself on the bed. I bounced lightly. "Grandpa. . . No way in hell I'm visiting him."

After a few moments of lying on the bed, I stood up, stretching my back. Opening the windows to let fresh air came in, I then decided that a cold bath would be a great idea. After taking my towel and changing clothes, I walked into the bathroom, slowly peeling my uniform off and stepped into the shower. The tap was quite hard to turn, maybe because of the fact that my uncle lived alone in this house with three bedrooms, so he never really used this shower in such a long time. Cold water sprayed down upon me and I took a deep breath in while keeping my head low, so that the water wouldn't come into my nose.

My hand walked down to touch my right hips where I had fallen on the hard ground this morning. The bruise was slowly becoming visible, when there was nothing now a purplish colour mark was visible. I clenched my fists in fury when I remembered what happened in the school. Why someone I just met for the first time would cause such a pain in the ass?

And it was the time when I silently plotted my revenge inside my head. Such a horrible plan that I never thought about before. I just couldn't stop myself. Because, really, I wasn't planning to let him be all over me. I have to do something to shove him aside, even if it means blood.


*dies on the floor* O...kay... now that's three chapters down! I hope you're still interested to read more... xD reviews please? :)

Guess what the meaning of the title is? xD I didn't pick it on random, y'know :P