Haru Axeman was definitely not ordinary. He sure didn't look ordinary. I've described him already, so I won't bore you with the details.
At the moment, he was in the Runecrafting Guild, a pocket dimension of the wizard's tower, conversing with Wizard Elriss. It might have looked like a simple talk between an adventurer and a high-ranking wizard. In fact, it was a meeting that could make Haru even more money. Not that he needed it, but he participated in general moneymaking quests... he did, after all, need something to do.
"Okay. You'll sell your teleportation and runecrafting research to me... quite interesting research it is. Something about Abyssal dimensions, locations of actual altars, bi-rune fusion, binding necklaces, Abyssal wear and tear, teleportation, laws of Essence Empowerment and how to circumvent them... interesting. You discovered the laws of Runecrafting, how to efficiently create runes from more runes, and proved that you can't empower regular armor-yet you found out how to break that law?"
"Indeed I did. Well, Dani did half the work..." he saddened for a moment, then continued. "She figured out the last three things. I always sucked at that…"
Elriss scanned the notes a gain. "Interesting... Okay, here's about 250k. I think that'll be useful. Now, use my research to further this science, and find the Stone of Jas!"
"Someone beat you," Haru muttered.
"What was that?"
"Nothing!"
"I see. Well, I still have one task for you-I have to have you triangulate a position for the Rune Vortex project at the Water Altar, so we may harness the power of the stone of Jas from here. No point to it really, but I also need you to test our combined research on it, perform some tests... that sort of thing."
Now, as most know, the dirt path I have dubbed "The Goblin Path" that starts behind the Lumbridge general store, winds past H.A.M. headquarters, and the jail, is one of the quickest ways to and from the wizard's tower, and to places such as the Water Altar, deep in Lumbridge Swamp. But it is also fraught with goblins. But this bold un-N00Bish warrior of an uncertain high level was willing to make the perilous-
Oh, come on, goblins in lumbridge are level 3! Haru could kill them with a flick of his finger!
Anyway, Haru walked down through Misthalin to the Water Altar. He stepped past the wall, walked past the overconfident adventurers(Who were, as simply put as possible, "Too damn cocky".) and into the swamp. Just as he got to the Water Altar-
"f4333z3, l00l0l0l00l0l0l0l00loloollol! Li3k, d0/\t /\/\0\/3 J00 \/\/0/\7 g37 hv47!"
"W00t 1337 IS TEH PWNAGE 11 h31l 1337!"
"D13 S4um!"
A gang of noobs appeared to have surrounded him. They had nothing but bronze daggers.
"This is the property of Revolution Outpost 13. Do not attempt to resist,"said a cold, spiteful voice.
Haru looked the guy over. Dressed in Barrows armor from almost all the Brothers and holding a huge Zamorak Sword, (the evil twin of the Saradomin Sword) not to mention wearing a bronze and dragon pendant, there was only one thing he could be:
An Overlord Pker, one of the ruling classes of the Wilderness Alliance. They were ex-pkers, not satisfied with the changes on Runescape... Haru didn't remember the exact date, but in Earth time it was 12/10/07.
"I really don't have the time for this," Haru yawned. "Who the hell are you?"
"I'm one of the Pkers sent to kill you, Bloody Henry," the Pker said. "resistance is futile."
Haru backhanded him so hard he flew backwards over the altar and landed on his head. "Sie Verdamnten HuhnscheiBe. Sie Verdamnten HuhnscheiBe."
"What did you say?"
"I swore at you in German. I am part German, you know..." then...
Henry leapt at Haru, swinging his sword. Haru deflected it with his shield, and cut Henry diagonally across the chest. He threw a punch at Haru, which he easily dodged, then threw a punch of his own, sending Henry to the ground.
TWANG
Haru staggered from the n00b's bolt-thankfully not from a n00b cannon-and landed on the altar.
"Now, say goodbye!" Henry punched Haru. Repeatedly. "How do ya like that, you son of a-"
Haru caught the punch, and smacked him in the face so hard that he spun around for 20 feet and landed on his back. Then he felt something stabbing into him. Henry had pulled out a crossbow, and was sadistically grinning as he shot bolt after bolt into Haru.
"ARE YOU OUT OF YOUAH (Bleeping) LITTLE MIND?" Haru yelled. "You do not kill me with bolts! You just make me want to throttle you halfway to Sophanem!"
Haru punched him into the air, slashed him across the chest (diagonally, yet again), and, true to his word, threw him to Shantay Pass.
The noobs tried to fight Haru, They failed miserably. Couldn't even get within 'bout fifteen feet of him without getting hurt. Eventually, they just gave up, and called him a froob, accused him of cheating, and went off to kill goblins in the house across the River Lum.
With that said and done, Haru pulled several odd instruments out of his backpack and coat, and hooked them up to the altar. He turned knobs, applied a bit of percussive maintenance to them, and then pulled out a crystal ball with a flattened side, magically adjusting it with a small wand no more than ten inches made of burnished copper and steel so he could get a very specific picture.
Someone stepped behind him. "Whatcha doin?"
"Watching Furi Kuri while these instruments give a readout on something from the altar."
"What's Furi Kuri about?"
Haru turned around. "Hell if I know. If you wanna understand it, just watch all six episodes, and the desire just walks out the door."
"I know. I've tried, nii-san."
"Eh? Dani!" Haru grinned, jumping backwards. "You're okay, sis!"
"Well, relatively speaking… I'm still related to you, and there's still the issue of dealing with Callista, your-"
Haru looked at her.
"Right. That's one of those 'never speak of this again' things, isn't it? Anyway, I came to give you this letter… apparently, Sir Tiffy Cashien needs you for something urgent as hell. Apparently, several residents of the farms south of Falador have reported something akin to a large cockroach. But according to one guy, it was black and red, roughly two feet tall, with razor sharp limbs-"
"The way he described it, did the limbs remind you of necromorphs, just without the undeath?" Haru asked. He'd taken his eyes off the anime he'd been watching.
"Yeah. Just thicker than that sorta thing."
"I think we both know what it is, then," Haru agreed. "Gotta be a-"
At that moment, a small noise akin to an alarm clock rang in Haru's coat. "Eh?" he asked, pulling out what looked like a pocketwatch. He pulled out the metallic wand tool, then flicked something on it. An irritating yet soft noise issued from one end for a couple seconds, then Haru flicked the pocketwatch open, then scanned something there. "Eh? Sonovagun, it's Izzy! He's at the MacFitz Hotel on the Void Knight Outpost, and he'd like us to join him!"
It's not a sonic screwdriver, by the way. Similar, but not quite. So, so long as it's not questions "did Haru pull out a Sonic Screwdriver," read and review!
