"Fine! I'll use all my strength!" she heard him say.

Kurokawa watched cautiously as Lancer dueled with Berserker, his spear against the giant's axe. He became fully absorbed in the heat of battle, growing more fervid every time their weapons struck each other, even when the enemy's weapon scoured flesh.

"That's it, good," he said, gripping his lacerated side. "More. More! Fight me seriously!"

He was about to charge again when he froze.

Kurokawa took a step toward him. "L-Lancer?"

"Shut up! Don't meddle!"

She winced at his harshness but did not apologize when she did nothing wrong. "What are you—?"

"You bastard!" he shouted at the sky, suddenly turning and snatching her up in his arms.

It all happened in a blur. The girl Master and her Berserker were left behind, and Kurokawa was suddenly with him in another secluded alleyway trying to digest what had happened.

He pounded a fist against the wall. "Damn him!"

"Lancer," she said.

"What?" he snapped, his gaze softening when he saw her flinch.

"You… you're bleeding."

She urged him to sit and remarked, "I guess you can't heal yourself."

"Well I'll be damned," he said as he dropped down, running a hand through his hair.

The soft touch of fingertips on his ribcage startled him.

"I'm sorry," said Kurokawa. "It might hurt a bit, but we should stop the bleeding first, I think."

"Be my guest," he said.

She took the skirt of her dress, wadded up a section and pressed it against his side.

"Was that Kotomine talking to you?"

Lancer nodded.

"He always says such upsetting things," she said, as if from experience.

It wasn't really that, but what Kotomine made him do. It was humiliating how he made it so Lancer wasn't even a serious combatant. A Servant's purpose was to fight to the greatest extent, not just sample the food and run. His body and soul craved nothing but battle, and that had been his sole reason for returning to this world. Now he didn't even have any real desire to go on in the War.

"Please don't forget to breathe," said Kurokawa. "Just relax, it's okay now."

Somehow her words soothed him, calming the rage that had begun eating up his insides. He only tensed when a sharp pain struck where she touched, though it receded faster than it had arrived.

"Ah... look..."

Lancer stared down at where the cut should have been. Its former site looked like when she'd healed herself, all bloodied but with the wound itself gone. He looked at her, about to ask questions when she smiled at him again, wiping her forehead with the back of one hand.

"You're getting blood on yourself." He reached out and rubbed at the dark red smears with his thumb.

"I'm just glad you're alright. I don't even know what happened..."

"But you did this," he said. "You healed me."

"I... I suppose so."

No wonder Kotomine had her follow him; he was putting the girl on a trial run.

"Does he know," asked Lancer, "that you can do such a thing?"

"Not sure."

She was clueless, and Lancer didn't like it. He formulated his next question carefully, but it came out blunt.

"What's up with you and Kotomine?"

Kurokawa's face blanched. She could have said a lot of things. She was his prisoner and his project, something to be used, a means of reaching an end. In the big scheme of things, in this Holy Grail War, she was just a piece on the chessboard and she knew it too.

"It's for a good cause," she said, not realizing it had slipped out until Lancer gave her a strange look. "I mean, it's complicated. Never mind."

The girl slouched against the wall, eyelids drooping. He only had one last thing to mention.

"You said I'm your friend."

Kurokawa nodded without making eye contact. "I don't know if you feel the same, though."

"I don't know what to think about you," Lancer said, standing up.

She curiously searched his face. "In a good way or a bad way?"

He bent down and took her in his arms. "Not bad."

"I missed this." The girl's arms circled his neck, and she let out a shuddering breath. "For ten years…"

Lancer didn't understand what she meant by that, ten years. Her hold loosened as she drifted off, finally falling away altogether. He brushed a lock of black hair from her face, careful not to upset her sleep by doing so. It had only been one night, but he knew so much about her and yet so little. He returned to Kotomine Church hoping for answers, but what he got was hell.

"Will you disobey the orders of your Master? Will you betray me?" hissed Kotomine, rounding on Lancer, who still had Kurokawa in his arms. "You blew it all, starting with your battle against Saber. You need only worry about your survival, not victory."

"This is sickening," Lancer said under his breath. "You're wasting everything I am."

"Yes, and you're wasting the girl," replied the priest. "Stick her back in the basement. I don't want you taking her out where she'll be in harm's way."

"You said… back in the basement?"

Kotomine smirked. "Do I need to clarify?"

"No," he snarled, leaving the nave of the church by means of a hidden staircase. There were a number of chambers underground, all of which were hermetically sealed save for one. The inside was dark and dank, with nothing to furnish its austere stone space.

"Back in the basement," Lancer repeated as he sat with Kurokawa's head in his lap. Since it sounded she'd been forced to spent the night here before, he didn't want to leave her alone. As the priest had nothing to say about it, he would remain there until she woke up.

Kurokawa dreamt of that time again, just as she had done on countless occassions over the past ten years which went by so slow and so quickly. That was the day she died. Everything looked like a sea of flames. People ran madly through the streets with their bodies on fire, their dying screams bone-chilling, unforgettable. She wanted to help them but didn't know how. Their faces didn't even register as human in her head.

There had been only one person she clearly recalled, a young boy with a memorable hair color, though she couldn't remember the exact shade. He was walking too, aimlessly, eyes blighted by death. She stopped as he passed by. He hadn't seen her.

"Come back… Please, come back!"

She shot up, arms reaching out for the boy, before cracking her forehead against something hard. And then she heard Lancer groan.

"Wha—?! S-sorry…! I didn't… You?"

"Morning," he said groggily.

"It's still dark, though. Are you sure…?"

Slowly, so slowly, she recognized it. It was the same, the same it had been for the past ten years of her life; the cage, the pit, the tomb. Despite the fact that those years didn't quite feel as long as they truly were, she was scarred and scared out of her mind. She had grown fearful of this darkness with no lights and no sound, neither natural nor artificial. She didn't want to be shut away again. It felt like it was being repeated, only Lancer was there by her side.

"L-Lancer…" Kurokawa fumbled for something of his to hold onto, taking his hand. "Please, help me. Get me out of here. Please!"

The tears started flowing before she could stop them, manifesting along with terrible, convulsive sobs. Even when she wanted to speak, her breath granted her no time to get the words out.

Lancer knew she'd been stuck in this room before from what Kotomine said, but never did he expect to see her break down like this. Without a second thought, he helped her upstairs, the question of disobeying his orders long forgotten.

Kurokawa calmed when they reached ground level. Even while straining against the brightness, she reached for the shafts of light streaming in through the church windows. She turned suddenly and hugged him tightly, the top of her head only reaching up to his chest.

"Lancer, thank you," she cried happily. "It's the sun! I actually see the sun."

He ruffled her hair, not knowing how to feel. "Yeah, that's it. The sun."

The sound of Kotomine's footsteps on the creaky wooden floor made Lancer's entire body go rigid.

"So you're awake," he said, addressing the girl.

"K-Kotomine," she whimpered, hiding behind Lancer.

Lancer glared at the priest, who only glared back. Finally he asked the question which had burned in the back of his mind the whole night: "What exactly is going on here?"

"Little Kurokawa is merely afraid of the dark," he said simply, coming as close as he could before Lancer did not allow him to proceed. "Getting defensive, I see. Do not concern yourself in our affairs, Lancer. You have no place in them. Remember your objective."

"Objective my ass. What kind of crap are you pulling on her?"

"You're not in the position to make demands," said Kotomine, brushing some unseen dust from his right sleeve.

Lancer loathed him for having seized Bazett's Command Spells the way he did. He was powerless to resist much more at this point, and Kotomine saw it clearly.

"Go scout again, Lancer," said the priest. "You're useless here."

He was about to argue when Kurokawa stepped out from behind him.

"I'm going with Lancer."

"Who said you were?" asked Kotomine.

"Me, that's who," she said. "Or must I list reasons of why I'm deserving?"

"You've reestablished quite a spark in a single night," he said with the same old shit-eating grin that Lancer hated so much. "Impressive."

The Servant looked at Kurokawa, this girl who, though undoubtedly scared, put up a very, very brave front.

"Will you stop me?" she pressed.

Kotomine stopped and considered this. "…No, I won't."

"Very well then," said Kurokawa, turning from him. "Lancer, let's leave."

He started following her when Kotomine spoke. "Remember your salvation, Atosaki Kurokawa. It is slowly slipping through your fingers. Don't regret your decisions."

"Ato… saki." Lancer had never heard her full name before. He watched her trembling back.

"I only have a single regret," she said, "and it's definitely not about what I'm doing now."

The girl ran from there, throwing the church doors open and breaking into broad daylight. The sun's rays hit her shoulders as she flew down the sloping hill which led to the city. Her legs balked at every step, but she didn't care. They finally gave out and she fell forward and ended up rolling down the rest of the hill, finally coming to a stop at the bottom of the hill. She lay on her back, dazed.

The sky. How beautiful the sky was. It wasn't the blue of Lancer's hair, but a lighter blue, a softer one. She didn't have anything else to compare it to. Right on cue, Lancer's head entered her line of vision, not that she minded. His shoulder armor looked so shiny now.

"Lancer," she laughed. "I feel so free."

He crouched down beside her. "Ku… Kurokawa…"

"That's not right," she said quickly. "My first name was Atosaki. I remember now. My parents told me it can mean beginning and end, before and after… order, consequences. It's mine."

"It's a beautiful name," he remarked. "I'm glad you have it back."

She tried to smile, but faltered. "Hey, I know how you wanted to fight the other Servants, and I just thought of it. Kotomine didn't say anything about going back for rematches."

"Yes, it occurred to me," he said without much enthusiasm, helping Atosaki to her feet.

"Are you alright?" she asked.

Lancer scuffed the dirt with his heel, deep in thought. "I'm just wondering… about when he mentioned 'salvation.'"

Atosaki started to walk without explaining. It didn't seem Lancer had a clue as to what occurred ten years ago, and she had no intention of bringing it up now.

Finally, she said, "Bad things, really bad things, have happened in this city, to everyone. Kotomine promises to make things right if he can wish on the Holy Grail."

Lancer's eyes narrowed. That didn't sound like the Kotomine he knew in the slightest. Surely he had lied through his teeth all this time. Before Lancer could tell Atosaki the truth, she continued.

"I don't like Kotomine because of his behavior, but I think he has his reasons. He needed to grow my powers so I could be part of the Grail War and help his Servant win. Perhaps that was the only way, twisted as it was."

The girl only believed what she wanted to. Lancer put a hand on her shoulder and turned her around to face him.

"It wasn't fair to you, whatever he did," he said.

"It's alright," she replied. "If I have to suffer a little to save people, it's okay, right?"

That wasn't okay with him, first off because this didn't sound like "a little" suffering, secondly because Kotomine only told her what she would need and what would make her cooperate.

"Say, Lancer, we should go into town. I haven't seen it in… well…"

He knew she wanted to say ten years, even though he had yet to figure out what that truly meant, simply thinking it a metaphor. Then he envisioned this scene, an armored man in blue full-body tights and a girl with a blood-soaked dress strolling casually through the streets.

After a moment of hesitation, he offered, "Want me to grab us some clothing? Food, maybe?"

"I-if you can."

"Try to get away from this church, but don't go into the city just yet."

"Okay. I'll be waiting for you."

He had already taken on his invisible spirit form when she spoke again to him.

"Thank you, Lancer," she said, "for being on my side when no one else is."

Despite him departing sometime in the afternoon, the sun had sunk low on the horizon when Lancer finally returned. He looked tired, and with the simple white V-neck top and black pants he wore, he appeared even more vulnerable. Atosaki quietly thanked him for managing to get her what he did. She hid behind the trunk of a large tree and pulled on the cozy red and black plaid dress set, appreciative of how nice it looked with a gray turtleneck as innerwear and the pink scarf that went wiith it. All she'd worn for ten years in that basement were rags. At least, she recalled having rags.

For a moment after she finished they sat around idly. Atosaki kept looking over at Lancer, playing with the wool of the scarf while thinking of something to fill the silence.

"I… I feel naked," he said, forcing a grin as he rummaged through a plastic shopping bag.

"Oh, like what you usually wear doesn't make you feel that way."

She laughed, although she sensed his unease.

"You know, if something's bothering you, you can tell me."

"The War's just playing out, that's all," he said.

"…Do you want to wish on the Grail?" asked Atosaki.

"Me? Nah, I don't ask for much. Maybe a good, valiant fight to the death here and there, something along those lines. It's simple."

"And Kotomine is stopping you."

Lancer noticed the girl's expression. Her brow was furrowed, eyes sorrowful, like her heart ached for him, just for him. He wanted to be comforted by her sympathy, but he couldn't stand to hurt her more than he had to.

"He's a terrible Master," she said. "He didn't deserve to summon you."

But Kotomine wasn't really the one. Lancer's thoughts rarely returned to Bazett Fraga McRemitz, the woman who would have been his Master had Kotomine not severed her left arm, and with it her Command Seals, before he left her for dead. As much as he wanted to avenge her, his willpower simply wasn't strong enough to defy Kotomine's.

"You and I would've made a good team," Lancer commented, looking at the pastel sunset. "I could get my share of battles and I'd win them all for you so you could make that wish for yourself. But it's idealistic to hope for nice things to happen."

It was a cynical notion, tragic but true. Such was life. He turned back to Atosaki and found her biting back tears.

"Damn, me and my big mouth…"

"N-no," she said, eyes watering. "Even though a lot of things aren't the way they should be right now, I'm so glad to have met you!"

He blinked once, then twice, and then smiled. "Same here."

Atosaki sniffled and then felt something firm but soft against her lips.

"Eat this," Lancer said, offering her a small piece of pastry.

She let him feed her the first bite. He took a little more from the round white bun and again she ate from his hand.

Together, side-by-side beneath a large oak tree, they watched as stars began to dot the darkling sky.

"Red bean," she noted after Lancer gave her another morsel.

It had been her mother's favorite, trumping even meat or custard. She looked at the bun in his hand and tore out a bit of it herself.

"I'll stop," he started to say when Atosaki held it out to him.

"Nope, don't," she said, grinning.

His cheeks looked slightly rosy, even in the dim starlight. He gladly accepted it.

"I haven't eaten in forever," said Atosaki. "I'd almost forgotten what it was like."

Lancer popped another bit of red bean bun into her mouth and suddenly brushed her cheek.

"You have a lot of sadness."

"I-I'm sorry. I'm just bringing you down, huh."

"You don't ever need to apologize. Tell me whatever you want and I'll listen."

Atosaki nodded, his words warming her to the core.

"You are very kind, Lancer. I wish I could express how much it means to me."

"Thanks, but I'm not really that good a person," he said. "I did bad things, I made bad choices. Looking back, I can't change any of it, so I don't find any sense in regretting the way I lived."

She was sure he was talking about his past life, before becoming a Heroic Spirit. Having spoken about regrets at the church, she took what he said to heart.

"And you're wise," she added. "Kotomine tried teaching me stuff in order to compensate for my lack of education, but I feel rather stupid at times."

"We've all got insight," said Lancer. "It builds on itself. We learn from experience. You're learning as we speak, so don't worry."

She reached out and wiped a crumb from the corner of his mouth. The look he gave her held a mixture of surprise and tenderness.

"I never thought this would happen in a Grail War," he said, "that I'd meet a sweet girl like you."

Atosaki smiled. "It's not quite what you wanted though."

"Ah well, it's not to say I don't enjoy it."

The girl rested her head on his shoulder. "Is it bad if I hope that this won't end so soon? What will I do when you… if you…"

"Shh, it's not important now. Let's live in the here and now."

"I'll try." She nuzzled up against him, and he positioned his chin lightly on her head. "I know it's about the past, but can you do something for me?"

"Anything."

"Please don't kill people. I mean, innocents and nice Masters like Mr. Kuzuki. Please, for me. They don't have to die and they'll never have a second chance like Servants if they do. So please?"

"...I understand. I promise."

His words came out honestly.

"Thank you, Lancer. Goodnight."

"Goodnight, Atosaki. Sleep well."

"See you in the morning?"

"Of course."


Aaaaand the fluff is going to kill me. Look at it, just look at it. If you want, please review/fave/follow... I'd love to know hear from you! Thanks for reading.