Author's Notes: Okay, so this is another little drabble that hit me. It's basically about Severus seeing Lily the night Harry is born. At this point in time, he has already told the Dark Lord the part of the prophecy he overheard. This is basically canon compliant, there's nothing in it that goes agianst what we're told in canon. So, here ya go!
Sneaking in wasn't that hard, all things considered. A few spells here and there, a potion for his shoes, and he was able to walk wherever he pleased through the hospital. Really, one would think St. Mungo's would have better protection, especially during a war. Granted, The Dark Lord hadn't attacked the hospital yet, but one should never just assume…
He took a deep breath and opened the door leading to a maternity suite. The bed was pushed against the far wall, a window to the right it, and a chair was pulled up right next to the bed on the left. Potter was asleep, sprawled uncomfortably from the look of it, and the woman on the bed was holding an infant to her chest, still propped up against the headboard. He crept closer.
Lily.
Lily, holding her baby, who was born near the end of July and thus marked with a target. He was a fucking idiot and fate must be laughing its ass off at him. Of course Lily was going to be involved somehow…
He glared at Potter, hating him with everything in him. If not for him, Lily might not have 'thrice defied' The Dark Lord. If not for him, Lily wouldn't have to be in danger simply for giving birth. If not for fucking Potter, he'd have Lily and all would be right with the world. Leave it to Potter to royally screw up so spectacularly.
He looked down to the child and found little green eyes staring solemnly back at him. Lily's eyes. Lily's child. The child she had with Potter. The child that might get her killed because of when it decided to come into the world. He hated it. It was like a plague, here to destroy the last person he truly cared about.
"Severus." Lilly whispered, not sounding shocked or scared, just acknowledging his presence, like she expected him there, like he deserved to be here.
"Hello, Lily." He whispered back, turning his gaze to her. She looked exhausted, but happy. So painfully happy.
"Isn't he beautiful?" She whispered, letting the infant close a little fist around one of her fingers. How like his father, so greedy and demanding. "His name is Harry."
He refused to think of this baby with a name. This baby might kill Lily, it defiantly put her in grave danger, and he refused to give it a name, even in his own thoughts.
"How are you?" he whispered, looking back at his friend, the love of his life. She smiled at him.
"I'm good. A little worried about Peter, he doesn't seem cut out for war…but he doesn't have much of a choice. None of us do. Petunia is still not talking to me…I think she really hates me. I'm really worried about James and Sirius too – James's parents died in the recent attack. And Regulus…well, Sirius doesn't talk about his brother, but I know he must be hurting." She spoke quietly no doubt not wanting to wake Potter.
He knew about the attack that she was talking about, after all he had been there too…under a mask. He knew Potter's parents had died too, because he was within shouting distance to the Death Eater that killed them at the time. He remembered trying to get to Potter, wanting to face off against him, but Lupin and Black had intercepted him. And Regulus…he didn't know what Regulus was thinking, trying to leave the Cause.
"I'm glad you're well." He said, telling the complete truth. He looked back at the thing in her arms. It would be the ruin of her.
"You were there, weren't you? The attack." She was looking at him as she often did when they were at Hogwarts, eyes pleading with him to lie to her, to not tell her what kind of a person he was. He looked away as he nodded. She sighed.
"Severus, I will always hold a place in my heart for you, but I can't agree with what you are doing. The path you are going down. You told me, once, that it didn't matter if I was a muggle-born, do you remember that?" She was disappointed in him, as she often was it seemed.
"It doesn't matter if you're muggle-born, Lily. You're…" He trialed off, not sure what to say.
"I know. It doesn't matter that I am. I'm special." She spat the word out and Severus flinched involuntarily. "You're a hypocrite, Severus." Her voice was hard, as it was whenever they had this argument. She was so stubborn…
"Why can't you understand, Lily? The Dark Lord is right, He's helping the Wizarding World -" He didn't get very far before Lily cut him off. He never got to explain this to Lily, she never listened…
"No, Severus. He's not right, he's wrong. So very, very wrong. He's just a bully and a coward. I just…I can't watch you go down this path, Severus. I can't. I won't. You are already lost to me." She reached up and placed her hand against his cheek and it felt like his heart was breaking all over.
"Lily, I love you." He wouldn't cry, not with Potter in the room.
"No, you don't. James loves me; you love the idea of me. You wouldn't be doing this if you loved me. You wouldn't be looking at my child like he's the spawn of the devil, if you loved me. Thank you for saying so, but saying so doesn't make it true." Her words sliced him apart and he wrenched his face away from her outstretched hand.
He looked at her, one last time, before turning and leaving the room.
James opened his eyes as he heard the door close softly. Lily still had her hand outstretched and Harry was starting to get fussy in her arms.
"He left." Lily put her arm down, cradling Harry close. James got up from his chair and moved to sit beside her, wrapping an arm around her.
"I know." He pulled her close as she let the tears fall. "There's nothing you can do, Lily. You can't save him from himself. You can't save him this time, he has to save himself."
Lily handed Harry over to James, who took him carefully and a little unsurely. He was still new to this father thing. Lily leaned against his side.
"I'm happy, you know. Regardless of the situation with Severus and my little worries, I'm happy." Lily whispered, smiling down at little Harry who had discovered his toes and was fascinated by them.
"I'm happy too, Lily." She smiled at him and he smiled back.
