Disclamer: I don't own ADJL. None of us do. If we did why would we be here?
Pairings: None. I'm no good at pairings. Plus I don't really like Rose. I know some people disagree. But I just don't really like her.
Warning: Depressed and dark Jake. Very minor OCs, like teachers and stuff. Just background people. Self-harm. (maybe. I thought this over.) A little cute Emoness. I love emoness
Entry 3 Little miss perfect
Sometimes Haley justs annoys the crap out of me, I mean I know she is my sister and we do that to each other. But sometimes she makes me wish that I could be the smart and favortie one. Let's see how she handles benig second best. Living in another's shadow. I stilll love her and all but still. I'm the oldest and I'm out shined by my younger kid sister.
I detests how she rubs it in sometimes. It's always "I got straight A's," or "Which one of us goes to a gifted school?" She drives me nuts. Sometimes I just want to scream at her. She thinks I have a big ego. Pfff. She's the one with the ego the size of a griffin. I don't go sing and brag about what I can do. Well, I kind of do but not like every day. I don't rub it in her face and make her feel bad. I don't really make her doubt herself. If she's so smart then she should know that some of her "jokes" really do hurt. Does she not under stand that I'm a teenager? This is the time of our lives were we need help and carefulness. We are growing up in a time where a person is expeced to be or act in a certain way. One wrong move can destroy someone's self-steem.(1)
Like mine. Sometimes I feel that I can't do anyhting. That I should just give up and go wedge myself in some corner. That my parents love her more then they do me. Like I'm just the one they are forced to love.
She isn't helping. But I can't let my little sis bring me down. Nah dwag (2). I will keep being who I am because she doesn't matter when it comes to me. I'll do what ever I like. I can't let any of this bring me down. Not even after last night. I'll prove to gramps that I am better then Haley. I'm not a push over. I know I'm acting aberrant, but I want to show everyone I can work hard an buckle down. Bite the bullet and face the light.
But I can't get what he said out of my head. Does everyone think that? Am I really nothing compared to my sister? Sure I don't go to a gifted school. I only have a 3.5 GPA (3). But that dosen't mean I don't hve other talents too. I guess I'm just ambiguous. Well that's what Haley says about me. I've picked a few things up here and there. High school really did help me set things straight. I'm trying harder and balancing my day and work.
I close the book and stare at my wall. Things are going well at school. I'm getting better grades and the teachers don't hate me. But its not good enough. I will try harder. I want my parents to be proud of me.
A/N: Sorry that took so long to update. My internet was being dumb and stopped working for like a month. Plus school is getting in the way. High school is not easy. But I love it. I'm a upper class men, and paying for it. Eight periods with AP and Honors classes and Advance Math. I growing white hairs and my blood pressure is rising. About two and a half months? (give or take a few...) Well, this update won't really make up for it... But I will. I have been planing out my chapters. I will not disappoint in the future. Hopefully. But it may take a while. My connection is really slow. School will also get in the way. So updates may be slower. *runs away from the mobs*
1. I know I maybe over stating this. But Everyone should watch what they say and do to other people. It's going to be a main point in the story
2. Again with the slang they use.
3. I would think that Jake learned how to balance his school work with his work. Not so much but well enough. Even he would understand that high school is no joking matter. The first year of high school is as important as the last. 3.5 is not that bad. About half As and half Bs. But that isn't good enough for most colleges. Well at least the ones I'm looking at.
