Drowning in Spite

Summery: The summer of fifth year—the days of developing, growing and adventure of the teenage experience. But what happens when your innocence is abruptly taken from you? With no heart, no conscious and absolutely no one to hear your cries—what are you to do? Draco Malfoy finds out the hard way, after being introduced to the most secretive Malfoy tradition ever known. And the only person there to hold his bleeding heart is the last person he could ever want to see. Come; read this story as all the characters go through riveting experiences concerning the coming of age, sexual preference/exploration and the meaning of life.

Disclaimer: Sorry, but I don't own any of the characters.

Warning: This is a very Dark fic. Please DO NOT READ if you are offended by ANY of this.

A/N: PLEASE READ THIS!

DMHg 2GETHER 4EVER: you can stop reading my story if you think it's "disgusting". Obviously you didn't read my summary! Hello, this is A DRACO/HERMIONE fiction. I AM WELL AWARE OF THAT. Thank you for pointing that out to me, because I am SO BLIND! (Please note the sarcasm, for those of you who are unaware of internet-talking i.e.-CAPS/italics). If you could politely read the summery and the bold thingy that says WARNING then you will know what is going on with my story. Thank you.

Surrounded By Idiots: To answer your question: The reason why this is in the Draco/Hermione section is: Because it IS a Draco/Hermione story! Jesus, read the summaries people! I would hope that people were reading the A/N!


HERE ARE TWO AWESOME REVIEWS DOWN HERE!

Guys, these are possibly the BEST reviews I have ever gotten! It's so sweet! I love it; I want to say, to whoever wrote these reviews, THANK YOU!

Jimmy:

"You are such an excellent writer. It's always interesting whenever an author on FanFiction delves into the life of a supporting character, and it's just amazing how you went into Draco Malfoy's, only seldomly mentioned as the bully that plagues young Harry's life.

And the plot - the rape, runaway, love affair - my God What creativity! I have never read a piece similar to yours on FanFiction, and I am certainly glad that I haven't. Your piece will be the standard all else will be compared to.

A note on your somewhat graphic details: keep them. They're so unique to you as an author. You plunge into ideas and themes most avoided. Keep it coming! I'm so thrilled to finally find a story that I can continue reading, knowing fully that the next chapter will surely not disappoint me! GREAT JOB!"

Sophie Malfoy:

It's breathtaking. Amazing.
Completely right and fantastically described.

I've both added you and your story to my favourites.
It's really great and I'm counting the hours, minutes and seconds 'til you update. I'm really bad at counting backwards, so please do it soon.

-Sophie

But to all my other reviewers, Ienjoyed the very beautiful reviews andI'm sorry if you were offended by the way some of the slash happened, but please see this as a positive. I have introduced this story as a story of sexual exploration, coming of age, and finding yourself. (Please read the summary!) Thank you for the reviews, and keep them coming! They're wonderful!

I love you all!


Chapter Three: The Battle of Two Wands

(Please read the A/N and after that, on with the story!)

Draco slumped his way down the train's corridor, bumping into a new first year. Draco grabbed the young boy by his shoulder pushed him out of his way.

"Get out of my way you bloody moron." The boy squealed as he collided with the wall, turning to face Draco, shocked. Draco continued walking down the corridor, heading towards the Prefect's compartment, checking in like his school letter had said. He slid open the sliding doors only to run into none other than:

Hermione Granger.

"Out of my way mudblood…I'm checking in…" Draco drawled, pushing her into a seat. Hermione gasped as she fell sideways, but quickly got up to stand. Draco smirked, lifting up his schedule from off of a seat near the window. He skimmed through it, huffing.

"I can't believe I'll be spending patrol with a dirty little mudblood like you," Draco said coldly, turning to face Hermione. She stood, her arms crossed and she blinked several times, taking in Draco's shortly chopped blonde hair, only long enough for the ends to stick up in the back untidily, but it seemed that he had styled it to make the front longer than the back—it was long enough just to have his hair flutter in his eyes—his silver eyes, filled with no trace of emotion and his slightly thick pursed lips.

"They found you…they…found you all right?" Hermione asked concerned. She looked up at him questioningly from where she stood. Draco's temper rose, and he stepped swiftly toward her, pushing her violently into her seat, her back pressing against the cushion. His was threateningly close to her face, his nose flared out in anger.

"If I ever hear you talk about me missing…I'll kill you with my bare hands." Draco lifted off of Hermione, who looked extremely harassed. She drew out her wand, and pointed it at Draco.

"And, Malfoy, if you ever touch me again, I will have your head on a platter, hanging up in my 'muggle of a house…'" Hermione huffed, she was spitting magic. Her eyes were wild, and her bushy hair seemed to frizz up even more. She flicked her wand and Draco slipped onto his back, as if a rug was pulled out from beneath him. As Hermione stomped from out of the compartment, Draco shouted after you—

"You bloody bitch!" He glared at the compartment door. She slammed it so hard, it shattered. She turned to look at her mess and then smirked daringly at his look of confusion. What's her problem? He thought, repairing the window. She's seriously acting like a Slytherin…heartless mudblood slut. He thought nastily, getting up. He flinched, touching the lower region of his back. He hadn't fully healed from his Father's beating session from a couple nights ago. He had entered the stage of restless beating, day-in-and-day-out. His Father said it would make him stronger. Draco left the compartment, his schedule folded neatly and placed in the inside of his robe's pocket.

He peered into the compartments he passed, trying to find his posse. Finally he found them and he entered the compartment, closing it behind him. Draco stood, soaking in what was in front of him.

A very happy Blaise chatted up a gloomy Pansy who, surprisingly, had grown quite lovely over the summer. She had turned in her black short hair for dyed light brown and she wore it down her shoulders. She lightened up with the makeup, trying to be original, and her eyes looked more alive. Draco saw a cute girl, looking young and innocent…so unlike Pansy.

Crabbe and Goyle were reading comics, snickering once in awhile and looking over at Pansy when she wasn't looking.

"Why do you feel she'd do something like this? Why…why would she…say that to me?" Pansy asked sadly.

"Pansy stop worrying; just listen to what Herms said, okay? She's going to talk to the Patil girl, I'm pretty sure she's still interested—"

"PARVATI, her name is Parvati, Blaise and it wasn't just a summer romance, it was—"

"Draco?" Blaise asked, looking pass Pansy.

"What?" Pansy asked. She turned in her seat and saw Draco staring down at her. Her mouth dropped and she sprung from her seat, throwing her arms around his neck.

"MERLIN DRACO, where have you been? We've been worried sick—" Pansy stopped suddenly, her face frozen in a look of horrified pain. Draco was clenching her tiny wrists in his hands, removing them from his neck.

"Don't touch me…" He muttered, releasing her arms. Pansy stepped back, nursing her injuries. Blaise stood and gently sat Pansy in her seat. He glowered at Draco.

"Listen, I know you've been gone for awhile, but you can't just come in here thinking you can break people's bones! I know you might feel like you have some power over us, you know, having lived on the—"

"Don't even say it Zabini! I don't want to hear your swift tongue more than I want to hear Pansy's shrieking voice. No explanations, I simply don't want to hear it." Draco gave Blaise and icy stare, one that made Blaise visibly quiver in fear.

"What's gotten into you? You're not the same…" Pansy asked quietly. Draco sat down next to Crabbe.

"Shut it." Draco crossed his arms and looked out the window. Everyone in the compartment grew quiet.

Bloody fools! They have no idea what they're talking about. They've missed me? I didn't miss them…no owls, no letters of concern or "hey, what's up?" whatsoever. No one cared about me.

Draco leaned back in his seat, his mind wandering over to his Father's bright face as he loaded his belongings in his personal driver's car.

"Have a lovely year Draco. Don't forget to write to your mother, you know how anxious she gets. Study hard. You know how I punished you upon your late arrival of handing me in your grades." Lucius said coldly. Draco shivered, scared of his Father's tone. He nodded.

"Yes Father."

"You're coming home for Christmas Break, be prepared." And with that, Lucius turned to leave.

Draco touched his left breast pocket. Snuggled deeply in his pocket was a folded picture of him and Jon, playing with Lucas's muggle-like camera when he wasn't looking. When he had developed the pictures, he had found the one snap of the two, arms wrapped around each other smiling as Jon held up the camera, snapping it. It didn't move like a normal picture…it was a little time, frozen just for Draco to remember. His lips were pressed outward, as if making a dramatic kiss and Jon's cheek was facing his lips, the cutest goof-ball smile ever. They were perfect.

But he was gone now.

And thoughts like that brought nothing but pain.

"Draco…blimey, are you okay?" Blaise asked concerned. Draco had wiped away a tear from his face. He hadn't noticed it.

"What? What do you want? I'm perfect, I had something in my eye…I didn't even notice." Draco said, getting upset again. "DON'T LOOK AT ME!" Draco bellowed, making Blaise jump.

"You don't have to yell…what the fuck has gotten into you?" Blaise asked, looking away.

"Nothing you'll ever be able to comprehend…" Draco muttered, relaxing against the seat…


"All right! All right! Settle down my little plants! I know we're all geared up for our very first lesson of NEWTS Herbology!" Professor Sprout shook her fat arms in the air, as if cheering. The class didn't respond with laughter, but, with groans of disapproval. "Oh! Lighten up!" Professor Sprout growled. It was their last class of the day before dinner, and they were anxious to get out of the heavily lit class. The lighting making the student's sweat in their robes, it was ridiculous. They were doing afternoon Herbology to deal with "deadly plants that only come out at night," but they've yet to see anything deadly upon arrival. She waddled past the students, trying to make it to the front of the extremely large table.

"I've made some new arrangements to your partners. This is a Gryffindor and Slytherin class, am I not mistaken?" she asked, peering over a scroll she had opened in her hands. She reread what ever was on it, completely oblivious to the silent class.

"All right, Gryffindors will not be permitted to join with another that belongs to your house this year. Now, if you could kindly pair up with your partner when I say your name…"

After several groans, two failed attempts at hexing and a broken nose later, everyone was in their pair.

Draco growled. He had been paired up with his most hated enemy of them all, Harry Potter. Harry had grown about six inches over the summer, and his hair grew out wildly, to the point where it seemed he just couldn't manage it anymore. It framed his face extremely well, making the sharpness of his face stand out more provocatively. His green eyes gleamed behind his round wire rimmed glasses. Draco took all of this in as Harry stepped warily toward him. Draco sneered at him, turning up his face as Harry stood a good five feet away from him.

"All right! Oh, Hermione dear, I'm sorry, you've been paired up with Pansy," Sprout pointed towards Pansy who beamed at Hermione and waved her over. Hermione giving her an embarrassed look, Hermione walked over to Pansy. She had been late to class, and it was so unusual for her. Many of the Slytherins and Gryffindors alike stared at the two in shock. Pansy held Hermione's hand as Sprout continued her class.

"Well, today, we will be repotting baby mandrakes! Madame Pomfrey has set up an association for poor wizarding children across the worlds that are in need of the potions mandrakes can make! Who knows what the number one usage as of late is?" Sprout asked. Immediately, Hermione's hand rose.

"According to 'Witching Fitness' the mandrake potion is being used to bring people out of a coma, and is also being researched to help cure the muggle disease cancer by adding a formulated substance of truth serum. The truth serum yield as a 'clearing' field of the infected cancer cells and the mandrake solution awakens the person's healthy cells to help finish clearing off what the truth serum left behind. In simple words, it is like a vacuum." Hermione said with ease. Her speech made people look at her with surprise and some muttered "what's a vacuum?"

"VERY GOOD Miss Granger, twenty points to Gryffindor for that excellent explanation!" Professor Sprout exclaimed. Draco looked across the table to see Hermione flushed, Blaise was grinning at her from a distance. He felt anger swell in his stomach.

"Now, ear muffles on, and the pots are under the table." Professor Sprout slipped on the muffles, and waited until all the students had on their muffles. With a wave of her wand, garden tools such as small shovels, knives, fertilizer and soil appeared. Then, with another flick of the wand, the mandrake pots appeared.

Draco looked over at Harry, who was pulling up two pots. He handed one to Draco and sat one in front of himself.

"What the bloody hell are you doing Potter? I didn't ask you to get me my Pot. What do you think I am? A charity case?" Draco yelled angrily. He thought that in a sense, Harry was trying to call him weak. I'm not weak! I'm stronger than you'll ever be. Draco thought. He knew Harry couldn't hear his angered words; so instead, he elbowed the pot, making it fall off the table, cracking into pieces on the floor. All the while Draco stared menacingly at Harry, who mouthed the words "what the hell?"

Draco merely glanced over the rubble that he had created and bent under the table to retrieve a pot. He took the pot and placed it in front of him. He moved to gather some tools around him, and he gripped the roots of the Mandrake and pulled.

An ugly brown looking baby opened it tiny mouth. Tiny sharp teeth appeared, and Draco, distracted by the ugliness of the creature didn't see where he was landing the thing in the pot. It flopped in the pot violently, and somehow Draco felt that the thing was screaming louder. He reached over the pot to pull out a bag of soil, and the Mandrake, seeing this as an opportunity to get back a Draco snapped angrily at Draco's arm.

Draco released a high pitched scream of shock. He knocked the bag of soil out of his reach and instead grabbed the garden knife. He picked up the knife and dug the knife deep into the mandrake. Brown fluid squirted from out of the mandrakes wound, it shook its head, screeching. Professor Sprout came from behind him, pulling him off the mandrake. After being released from her grip, Draco took the knife and savagely raked it across the mandrake, stabbing it until the pot was covered with brown liquid. The mandrake's blood was spilling across the table and Draco made one last stab at the mandrake, and it stopped moving. Professor Sprout pulled at his shoulder, shaking him from his state of murderous behavior. Instead of that calming down, Draco turned the knife on Professor Sprout and sliced at the hand that was just on his shoulder.

She screamed, jumping back and nursing her bloody hand.

The class stared in shock as Draco wiped blood away from his face. He had killed a mandrake and cut Professor Sprout, without any remorse. Harry stepped forward, his wand pointed at Draco, Ron came to stand beside him, and somehow Hermione had come to the aid of Sprout.

"Get out of here Malfoy," Harry spat. His eyes were wild with anger.

"How can you attack a teacher Draco?" Pansy asked quietly. Her eyes were wide and shiny like glass.

"It didn't even BITE you!" said Hermione. She pushed Draco away from the desk. He was standing in a pile of the mandrakes blood.

"GET OUT!" Professor Sprout screamed. Draco walked out of her class, earmuffs still on until the Garden's door closed. He trembled as he made his way towards the castle, mid way he couldn't stop trembling so, and fell defeated to his knees. He held his stomach as he vomited on the spot.


"Was anyone else hurt by his break out Pomona?"

"No sir, just me and the mandrake."

"I see Miss. Granger healed you nicely, very good, Mister Malfoy? Do you have any say in what you did?" Albus Dumbledore peered through his half-moon glasses at Draco. He was in his office, still caked in both Sprout's and mandrake blood. He wanted to be clean, but didn't have the chance. Soon after leaving, he had a pity feast by throwing up (it was the only way he had learn how to release his agony, whether in be voluntarily or involuntarily) and walking the corridors alone when classes were in session. Filch had caught him, and sent him to Dumbledore's office immediately.

"You look extremely ill Mister Malfoy. Is there anything you want to tell us?" Dumbledore asked. His eyes were not twinkling, and his tone was sharp and concise. Draco shuddered.

"No sir. I attacked the mandrake because I thought it was going to attack me. And Professor Sprout…I…also thought would attack me."

"RUBBISH!" Sprout exclaimed. She gave Draco a look of shock.

"Mister Malfoy. You will be suspended from Hogwarts for the total of one week. You are to leave the premises immediately upon your parent's arrival. It is against school rules to attack a teacher, and you have broken that rule." The color in Draco's face drained.

"Please—please Professor," Draco had never begged to a teacher before, until now, "Don't send me home sir…I…I can't go home!" Draco began to tremble violently as he tried to push back tears. Dumbledore raised an eyebrow to survey Draco's horrible shaking.

"Mister Malfoy, are you okay?" Professor Sprout asked, moving towards Draco cautiously. Draco shook his head furiously.

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And he entered Lucius room.

It was dark, and he knew his father usually had an oil lamp on, dimming the surrounding and only leaving his ominous face to see.

"You're late Draco. I don't like it when you're late," Lucius whispered.

"I'm sorry Father."

"Are you? I couldn't tell. You're not standing straight enough for me to take you seriously," Lucius taunted, coming to stand behind his son. Lucius placed a cool hand on Draco's arm, and without warning he pulled it so violently, Draco felt like it would be ripped off. Lucius had him on the floor now, his knee in his back, and Draco's arm twisted in the wrong direction.

Draco screamed, thrashing around on the floor.

"BE QUIET!" Lucius roared. Draco quieted down. Every few seconds he would whimper in pain.

"Now, you will listen to me Draco. The next time you hide your grades from me again, I will place the Crucio curse on you."

Draco's eyes widen. He didn't know his father had found his markings. He knew he would be mad.

"A mudblood Draco? You fell defeated to a mudblood?" Lucius twisted his arm further, making Draco bite the carpet on the floor from screaming out. "Say you hate her Draco. You hate Granger."

"I HATE GRANGER!" Draco screamed, crying finally, aloud.

"You will KILL her if she EVER stood challenging to you."

"I WILL KILL THE LITTLE MUDBLOOD SLUT!" Draco screamed venomously. His Father was pulling so hard, Draco felt his bone dislocate from under all the pressure. His Father's weight in the small of his back was driving him overboard.

"I didn't say THAT, but it is accepted," Lucius said sneeringly. "Draco…if I ever get a complaint from your school or a humiliating report such as the one I found? I will tear you apart, limb from limb." Lucius whispered deadly. Draco was biting his lip, sniffing up tears and snot from crying. His father slapped the back of his head angrily.

"Stop this crying Draco!"

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"Mr. Malfoy?" Madame Pomfrey stood next to him, peering into his cloudy eyes. "He's had the worst panic attack I've seen in all my years Dumbledore. He's still sedated. Something really drove him over the top."

"I see, well Poppy, what seems fitting for his problem?" said Professor Sprout.

"You can't send him home if it's what gave him the attack in the first place. He'll be damaged when he comes out of his state of shock, both physically and mentally. I don't think I can reverse the damages…it looks like he's had a series of abusive behavior to the nervous system. What ever happened to him has caused him his health."

"I understand Poppy." Dumbledore grimaced, peered down at Draco's pasty colored face and looked back up at Madame Pomfrey. "Good night, I will check on him tomorrow morning."


"Well, Madame Pomfrey, I am a Prefect, and we share the same class, so I decided to stop by and…err…give him his work, and tell him that I've put in to have his schedule changed."

"Well Miss. Granger, he is in there. I warn you, he is not quite himself, but I am sure he will respond."

Hermione walked cautiously towards Draco's bed, her arm filled with books, her own notes (of course a duplicate, never the original) and quills. Draco was sitting up in his bed; his hair fell into his face in a cluster of sweaty bangs. He looked unusually pale—sickly.

"Malfoy?" Hermione whispered. She miraculously got out her wand from under all the weights of the books and conjured a table. It flew besides Draco's bed, and Hermione placed the books there. He watched her out of the corner of his eyes. Slumped against his pillows, he looked at her finally.

"What do you want mudblood?" Draco asked weakly. His silver eyes were dark with hate. Hermione, despite the cold treatment, drew herself up professionally and looked him in the eyes.

"Humph! Very much like yourself! Well Malfoy, I brought your homework under strict orders of McGonagall. She also wanted me to tell you that your post for patrol has been cancelled until you regain your strength…"

"I have all my strength, thank you very much!" Draco shouted wildly. Hermione stepped back from him.

"What is this? Your strength? Malfoy, are you aware that you are in the hospital wing, and will be here for some time?" Hermione asked curiously. Draco froze at her words.

"What do you mean 'for some time'?"

"Madame did not go into detail with me, but she did tell me that you experienced some sort of distress, and that she will keep you here until you recover from this err…I would say, attack."

"You filthy mudblood…get the hell away from me! I can't even believe you touched my bloody BOOKS! You disgust me, and the whole wizarding world…" Draco spouted out. Hermione recoiled from his random burst of anger.

"Look, I brought you a copy of my notes, so you don't fall behind. Why I accepted to help you? I will never know. But you're nothing but an ASS Malfoy! And I regret ever trying to help you!" Hermione shouted, lifting her bag onto her back and storming off.

"I don't NEED your FILTHY help Granger!" Draco shouted after her.

The infirmary's door slammed.

Draco broke out in yet another cold sweat. His body trembled as the hospital wing grew once again quiet. Granger's haughty voice brought him some partial success, trying not to fall into a void of silence. But in the back of his head, he heard whispers of disgruntled past customers, his mothers weeping and the infuriated commands of his father. Draco lifted his hand to press against his ears, but the noises would not die. He cowered to himself, stricken with grief and shame—a shuddering proclamation of utter defeat.

Although Draco did not want to admit it, he was extremely afraid.


Review please. The next chapter will be out ASAP, and I hope you enjoyed this chapter. More to come--Romance, break-ups and backstabbing...