There's a few gems in here for people who really know their Mass Effect lore... and for everyone who's reading Reaper Dreams, there's some call forwards, specifically to Shepard's recorded message that Garrus was listening to in "The Deep Dark".

Hope you enjoy.


Annapolis Maryland

September 7th, 2171

07:00


Kaidan had never seen a swankier dormitory than Sloan-Gifted. The building, which was new construction, utilized all the latest technology. It felt more like a corporate office than a dorm. The bottom floor was filled with recreational rooms, a gymnasium, and a lounge with plush couches encircling a five meter high vid screen. There was a beverage bar, a small self-serve cafeteria, and front desk with three receptionists.

He approached the desk. One of the receptionists, a well-groomed man with a shaved head, was wearing a tactical style headset complete with state of the art retinal feeds and a voice filter. He appeared to be watching something on his visual feed, thus it was difficult to tell if he had noticed Kaidan's presence.

"Hey," said Kaidan.

The receptionist sneered. "Can I help you?"

Kaidan tried to remain polite. "I was looking for a dorm attendant. I need clearance to visit one of the students."

The receptionist laughed. "This is Sloan-Gifted, kid. There are no dorm attendants here, no roommates, no communal bathrooms, or any of the usual rub. They don't have curfews or any rules about who can visit them when."

Kaidan was bewildered. "How does that work?"

"Rich kids," said the man. "Not just rich, filthy rich. Their parents are in with the administration board, and they pay premium to put them up here, and we get a salary to babysit them, check in on their grades, and clean up all the messes they make."

"Sounds like a different kind of job," said Kaidan.

The man nodded. "I handle student resources, meaning: I brownnose their teachers, hire their tutors, manage their workloads, and do everything short of overt cheating to keep them in school. Garcia over there coordinates all their social lives, meals, laundry, all of that, and of course there's Raines here. Her title is guidance counselor, but she's actually a legal counselor. She keeps these privileged little bastards from being expelled or thrown in jail when they fuck up."

"Wow," said Kaidan.

"Yea," said the man. "This is how the upper crust lives. Credits talk, buddy, credits talk."

Kaidan wondered if Anderson got it wrong. Shepard was an orphan, not a rich kid.

He decided to give it a shot anyway. "So, Shepard?"

The man's mood improved almost instantaneously after hearing the name. "Ah, why didn't you just say so? I'm Rudy. Leave Shepard out of everything I just said. She's the outlier here, not really one of them, if you get what I mean. Ah, you probably know her deal. She's a fuckup to be sure, crazy as shit, but there's a reason for it. Other than that she's a hell of a kid. Is she expecting you? I have to be careful, she gets her share of snoops and stalkers."

Kaidan hoped that Anderson had talked to her. "I think she is. My name is Kaidan Alenko. I'm here to help her acclimate to her implants."

The man talked into his headset. Kaidan couldn't hear the conversation due to the noise cancelling on the mic, but there seemed to be no cause for alarm.

"You're in," said Rudy. "Wait five minutes before you go up, let her clean out her birdcage. Third lift, all the way to the fifteenth, it's the top floor."

"Which room?" asked Kaidan.

"Only one room up there," said Rudy. "It's the penthouse."

Kaidan gawked. "This place has a penthouse?"

Rudy nodded.

Kaidan shook his head. "Unbelievable."

He waited out the five minutes in the lobby. Just as he was about to step towards the elevator, the doors opened and two passengers scrambled out. It took a few seconds to register in his brain, but he recognized them, two girls, the pair from the dance—olive skinned, curvy figures, and long, dark hair, now disheveled. They were definitely twin sisters, and definitively hung over. They avoided Kaidan's stare as they made their way, arm in arm, to the building exit.

He stood dumfounded as he watched them leave. He had to be dreaming. It couldn't be. What were the odds? He tried to reconcile what Anderson had told him about Shepard with the spectacle he saw last night at the dance. Perhaps the whole thing had been a prank or a joke. Perhaps the sisters were Shepard's friends?

Once they were gone and the door closed behind them, laughter erupted from the front desk area. Kaidan deliberately moved closer so he could hear the commentary of the staff.

Fortunately, they weren't exactly whispering about it. "Damn, what is it about Shepard? I've seen a lot of girls doing the walk of shame off that lift, but that's new," said Rudy.

"What would you call that?" asked Garcia.

Raines snickered. "Let's go with double shame."

The three broke out into laughter as Kaidan stepped onto the lift. He was on the fifteenth floor so quickly that he didn't have time process what had just happened, so he found himself at Shepard's door, bewildered, confused, and unprepared when a female voice from above (presumably Shepard's) told him that said door was open. However, it didn't open and he couldn't see a button, or a control panel, so he just stood in front of it looking like a dumbass. Out of desperation he waved his hand around hoping it had a motion sensor. It was a shot in the dark that missed by a mile.

"Jesus, what the hell are doing? Push on the fucking door!" said the voice.

The door slid open with a soft hiss as soon as Kaidan touched it with his fingers. It was official now, he really was a dumbass.

Upon entering, the voice blared again. "I'm in the shower, be out in just a few."

Kaidan glanced around as the door slid shut. He found himself in a living quarters dominated by a large hideaway bed that was in the extended position. A tangle of sheets and pillows were piled on top. He thought about the two girls and tried his best to push any salacious thoughts into a dark corner.

The sour smell of spilled wine brushed his nostrils. He looked around the apartment and saw signs of a private party. In the far corner, near the dresser, he spotted the blue wig and the rest of the garish ensemble he'd witnessed at last night's dance. Around a low table of dark metal there was an array of strange black cushions. On the table was an empty pizza pouch, two empty wine bottles, and a carafe of blue liquor that was two thirds empty. There was also an old school deck of playing cards, an electronic pad, three empty glasses, and two pairs of black panties tied on a red ribbon.

'Ok, so they weren't friends,' thought Kaidan, 'and Shepard takes trophies; tacky, really tacky. What is she trying to prove?'

The place was nice, but the term penthouse was an overstatement. It was merely a nice apartment. Perhaps Rudy was using that term in context, comparing it to the average dorm room. The floor was clean, but the rest of the apartment was strewn with various mementos—a signed football, a baseball glove, several jersey's, a shelf full of children's toys, an old-fashioned tool kit, a bookshelf full of antique books (mostly religious or philosophical texts), and various other knickknacks. The walls were covered with photo panels of various sizes.

He drew near one of the panels and watched the changing display. There were family photos of children in various stages of life, three girls and a boy, along with captures of Mindoir colony life which portrayed a family farm and a chapel of some kind. It wasn't long before he worked out that Shepard was probably the oldest of the children depicted in the images, though none were recent so he couldn't be absolutely certain. They appeared to be a happy family, though the father seemed to be a dour and imposing figure.

"Coming through," said a voice from behind him. "I need to grab some clothes out of the dresser."

He turned around as he heard a wall panel slide open. A drawer had ejected from one of the recesses near the vid screen. As Shepard retrieved some garments from the drawer, he noticed that she was wearing nothing but a pair of socks and panties. Kaidan blushed several shades of crimson as she dressed in front of him. Several awkward heartbeats passed before he snapped his head in another direction.

He apologized. "Shit, I'm so sorry."

"Christ on a cracker, they're just tits," said Shepard. "I thought you were military?"

"Ah, yea, I'm in the Alliance," he mumbled.

Shepard snorted. "You do realize that half the ships we'll serve on have common lockers and showers?"

"Yea, well, I haven't been in that situation yet," said Kaidan. "So if it's just the same to you, I'll keep my head turned until you've finished dressing."

"Already finished," said Shepard. "Unless you're shy about bare shoulders as well."

Kaidan turned back to Shepard, relieved when he saw a cream colored tank top.

"Thanks," he said.

She shrugged indifferently.

Josslyn Shepard was a tall girl with a mop of red hair that edged a little closer to auburn than vermillion. She had a clean complexion, a darker skin tone than he was accustomed to seeing on a ginger, a dash of freckles, and exceptionally large, upturned emerald eyes.

He wasn't in the habit of judging people by appearance, nonetheless he felt compelled to overanalyze Shepard. There was simply too much going on in her face to look away. She was so alien to him compared to any other girl he'd ever met, that he felt much the same as he did when he first saw an Asari. Down the rabbit hole he went as he stumbled from one appraisal to the next, trying to work it out in his head.

All of the ingredients for exceptional beauty were on display in that diamond shaped face—a celestial nose, high-wide cheekbones, arched brows, puffy pink lips—yet something was wrong. The luminous green eyes were playful, but something sinister lurked just beneath the surface, like a rabid dog ready to take a bite. She had the mouth for it too. It was a little too large for her face, especially since her chin was a touch shallow. Her cheeks were soft and smooth, yet marbled with faint red lines, traces of scaring.

His stare caught her attention and she immediately feigned forgetfulness, muttering about something she needed in the kitchen while she quickly covered her jaw with her hand and turned her back on him. She fled to the kitchen to search the cabinets above the bar. As it turned out, she was tall enough that the cabinets over the bar concealed her face while she spoke to him.

"So, you're the new guy," she declared.

Kaidan hunched up. "Excuse me?

"Anderson keeps sending Alliance types my way, mostly biotics, thinks I need help adjusting," she said.

Kaidan went after it. "Well, do you?"

"Not really," said Shepard. "Hey, are you a Northern Lager or Silver Foam guy, oh wait, maybe something old school Canada like Molson or Moosehead?"

Her question took Kaidan off guard. "Uh, yea, old school, Moosehead."

Shepard pulled a glass out of the cupboard. A haptic display came up near the tap on the counter. She punched in a sequenced of numbers. Soon, a whirring sound commenced, the tap crackled with ice and condensation and poured out a frothy amber mixture. Once it was full, the glass left Shepard's hand, shot across the room without spilling a drop, and floated gently into his grasp.

Kaidan sighed. "Ok, that's just showing off, but I get the point."

He took a sip, it was nearly perfect.

"It has stock beer in the tank, then uses mass effect fields to alter the molecules so the taste adjusts to the brand I punch in. It came with over three hundred beers in the memory, and I can add more," she said.

"This is some college pad," said Kaidan. "How do you afford all this?"

"Being an orphan," said Shepard. "When your whole family gets slaughtered, you get the trust fund, the insurance, all the college funds, everything."

Kaidan tried to reign in his disapproval, but he couldn't shut his mouth. "Shepard, that has to last you the rest of your life, you don't want to blow it all and be out of credits in a few years."

"Not going to blow it all in a few years, because it's already gone," said Shepard.

Kaidan couldn't think of a suitable reply.

"I burned through it in a few months," said Shepard. "I didn't want it hanging over me. My dad was always on and on about the value of money and being a good steward, and how he was going to set me up and how I needed to be responsible and he'd show me the ropes and teach me to manage my money when I turned eighteen. Well, he isn't here, so I said, fuck it, and I spent it all. Got a nice place, a nice car, paid for my school, and now I'm done with it."

Kaidan felt a headache coming on. He rubbed his hand against his temple.

He didn't quite have the words for Shepard. "That sounds a little… uh,"

Shepard's tone became defiant. "Irresponsible? Yea, I've heard that before, but I'm going to be career military. I don't give a shit about credits or financial portfolios. Just give me a gun, some assholes to ventilate, and I'm happy."

What was it that Helen said last night at the dance?

'That's a daddy hater if I ever saw one.'

Kaidan took a shot. "Did your father want you to join the military?"

Shepard nearly howled with mock laughter. "Hell no! He hated the Alliance and anything to do with it. He was a pacifist, a naturalist, and when he wasn't working the farm, he was preaching from the pulpit. Ever heard of the Universal Church of Unity?"

"Only a few things, none of them very specific," said Kaidan.

"Or good, I bet," said Shepard. "It's mostly a lot of bullshit about all religions, even alien beliefs, bleeding into one, about reincarnation and space devils, and galactic cycles of extinction, and worse. There's some Volus with billions of credits who writes these books, and my dad used to exchange emails with the little lunatic. Don't get me wrong, I loved my parents, but they were into all kinds of crazy."

Kaidan was careful. "A lot of colonists hold to alternative belief systems."

Shepard "Yea, that's true. Every community on Mindoir had its own thing. You go out into deep space like that, risking your life and family just to get away from everyone else, you have to be a little different, and it's not all bad. There were a lot of great things about Mindoir. It was a beautiful place, and I was pretty lucky to grow up there. Not everyone on Earth has it so good, especially in the cities."

"Yea," said Kaidan. "Though I was fortunate where I grew up, Southwest Canada, out in the islands. My parents had an orchard."

"I read that," said Shepard.

Kaidan took another swallow of his beer. "Did your homework on me, I see."

"I got the name from Anderson, asked around, spent some time on the extranet," said Shepard. "Last two mentors he sent my way were total jerkoffs; couldn't stand them."

"Seems to be a pattern," said Kaidan. "Listen, Shepard, I don't want to cause you trouble or spy on you, it's just…"

"I get it," interrupted Shepard. "A guy like Anderson is a good connection to have. How about we make a deal, ok, Alenko?"

"What kind of deal?" asked Kaidan.

"You do your job without doing your job. We'll hang, do some biotic shit together, you'll report back to Anderson, and I'll tell him you're a real mensch and I couldn't have got through all this without you," she said.

"Sounds pretty close to what he wants," said Kaidan.

"What he wants is for me to become some girl scout," said Shepard. "You know, work out all my issues, pass my psychological profiles, and ascend through the Alliance ranks as a paragon."

"Sounds to me like he's doing you a solid, wanting that for you," said Kaidan.

Shepard stepped out from behind the counter. The thing he thought he saw behind her eyes before on full display and it was worse than he thought. They nearly flickered with green hatred. She took a step towards him, blazing with intensity.

"This is between you and me, Alenko, don't ever fucking repeat it. Can I have your word?" she asked.

"Yea," said Kaidan, foolishly, "My word, I promise."

"Ok, if you read the report it said that my family died in an artillery explosion, but that wasn't what happened, ok? They just struck it from my record, changed everything around so the press doesn't get ahold of it," she said.

"Why would they do that?" asked Kaidan.

"Because if humans ever knew what really went on down there, they'd feel like I do, and the Alliance would end up in a full scale war, and we'd be blowing Batarian ships out of space and bombing their colonies to ash," said Shepard. "But they don't want that, they want to suck up to the Council, make nice with all the rich aliens, especially the Asari, so we don't have to pay high tariffs."

Kaidan didn't like where this was headed. "What really happened, Shepard?"

She was smoldering. "They're slavers, Alenko, fucking four-eyed animals. They took children as slaves, branded them like cattle, and butchered anyone who looked too weak to be a slave. Any abomination you could dream up, they managed it and then some. They pillaged, they tortured, they murdered helpless people, old people, children, they…" she choked on the last word, "raped."

There was no lie in Shepard. Kaidan had heard stories from his friends, rumors. He'd always suspected, but this—he felt sick.

"I'm sorry," he said.

"It's a nice sentiment, but it doesn't do anything," said Shepard. "They'll do it again, it's what they do, and that's why I'm going to be Alliance."

"Shepard," said Kaidan. "Alliance doesn't do vengeance trips, they'll screen you out. You won't pass their tests. They have all kinds of ways to find out what you really think. They use VI's to administer polygraphs you can't fool."

"I know," said Shepard. "But I never would have gotten this far if I hadn't passed a muster of tests already. I'm on scholarship, and I'm going to be an officer—aiming for an N designation. A person can do what they set their mind to doing. My dad taught me that and it was one of the only things he was right about."

Kaidan stared at her, careful to stay away from the jaw this time.

She didn't flinch. "Do you know what they did, Alenko? They beat him to death right in front of me, with clubs. They smashed my father into a bloody pulp while he prayed to some God who wouldn't answer, while he begged for our lives, my mom, my brother, my sisters, and then it got worse after that, a lot worse."

"God, Shepard," said Kaidan. "I don't know what to say."

Shepard slipped her hands into her pockets. The rage emptied out of her and she became vulnerable. She was like a magnet pulling him in. Kaidan resisted the overwhelming urge to wrap his arms around her. It wasn't a good plan. It might lead somewhere else, and she was so… He had to be careful, really careful.

"Don't say anything, just be my friend, just report to Anderson that I'm all good, that I'm getting over shit, and I'll try not to make a liar out of you. I'll play nice, say the right things," she promised.

"Ok, Shepard," he said. "Just don't make a fool out of me."

She shook her head. "I won't, I'll be good to you. Stick around me and I'll make sure you get laid as often as you want."

Kaidan blushed. "Ah, yea, I don't think that's a good idea. Not what Anderson had in mind."

Shepard laughed. "Not me, idiot. I like girls, and I know a lot of girls who like me, and most of them still like boys, especially the tall, dark, and handsome type."

Kaidan glanced at the table with the wine glasses. "Right," he said. "Thanks for the… handsome, but, ah, I'm not so sure I'm cut out to be your wingman. Hooking up isn't really my thing, I'm more of a flowers and dinner kinda guy."

"Wow, a true romantic. Where did Anderson dig you up, some Prothean ruin?" Shepard winked. "Sorry, Alenko, all in good fun. I can respect that. Ok, I'll keep an eye out for an old fashioned girl, though I can't promise she won't come with a flowered dress and ringlets in her hair."

Kaidan laughed. "Where the hell did you come up with that?"

Shepard wrinkled her nose. "That's how my dad made us dress back on Mindoir, you know, girls should be girls and all of that."

"And it really wasn't your thing," assumed Kaidan.

"No, I was more of a long shorts and tank with no bra kind of girl," said Shepard. "The one who always had one of the other girls behind a tree with my head under her dress."

Kaidan nearly choked on the last of his beer. "That's, um, that's quite an image."

Shepard smirked. "Yea, well, if you can image what it's like growing up in a backwards, well-churched settlement full of repressed girls hitting puberty. Imagine this: our community was so strict that we weren't allowed to be around boys without a chaperone. Fortunately, for me, they didn't pay much attention to other girls."

"You were a busy bee, I bet," said Kaidan.

Shepard flicked her tongue suggestively. "Buzz, buzz, buzz!"

Kaidan was disappointed. He couldn't put a finger on why, after all, things couldn't have worked out any better for him. Shepard was safe, and that was a good thing for his career, a very good thing. So why couldn't he feel a genuine sense of relief?

He stared at her again, at the lovely little constellation of freckles across her cheeks and nose—at those beautiful green eyes, so fierce and fragile. She was so tall, but she seemed so tiny, she'd be light in his arms, and warm.

'Stop it, you idiot,' he thought to himself.

Shepard waved her hand in his face. "Earth to Alenko, come in, Alenko. Ah, shit, you're one of those," she said.

Kaidan shook his head. "One of what?"

"A daydreamer," said Shepard. "Like my brother, Johnny. You couldn't talk to him five minutes before he tuned you out and joined a platoon of his Turian brothers on some far off world."

"Turian brothers?"

"Another day," said Shepard.

She extended her hand. "So, Alenko, Kaidan, whatever you want me to call you. Do we have a deal?"

"Kaidan," he said. "And yea, I see no problem, we'll stick to your plan."

He shook her hand.

It felt like a betrayal of Anderson's trust, but he didn't know why. He was only doing what Anderson asked him to do—befriending Josslyn Shepard, helping her with her biotics, keeping an eye on her. He saw no reason he couldn't fulfill Anderson's request and still keep his promise to Shepard. He couldn't find the wrong in it, logically, yet he felt it, as sure as he felt something else that made no sense.

That was the problem with feelings. They were difficult to translate, and even more difficult to ignore.


Postscipt: Kaidan is wrong about one little detail - I won't give it away yet, but it has to do with DNA and all the crazy biotech of the future.

Next: Ride