The Case of Rufus
Chapter 3 - The Talk

Rufus knew that he wouldn't be able to sleep at all, knowing that Cloud could drop the news at any time. And she needed to hear it from him. After all, he was the one that loved her.

Rufus sat down at the bar and clasped his hands together on the counter.

"Where are the Turks?" Tifa inquired.

"They're...indisposed," Rufus responded with a pained expression. In suffering, more like. Besides, he needed to do this on his own without them breathing down his neck. It was bad enough when Elena decided to give him advice on how to woo Tifa.

Rufus came back to the present, seeing Tifa standing opposite him, a concerned look on her face. "Can I get you a drink? You look like you need one."

"Scotch."

"How do you want that?"

"Straight."

Tifa caught the subtlety and she grinned. Rufus gave a smirk. "Are you sure?" she asked.

"Oh," Rufus flipped his hair, "I couldn't be surer."

Tifa laughed as she poured his drink. Rufus downed it in three gulps. "Is uh, Cloud around?"

Tifa nodded. "He's in the back, playing videogames."

A loud scream came from the back room. Cloud's voice yelled over the commotion.

"SHUT UP! I'M TRYING TO BEAT LIQUID SNAKE!"

Tifa flinched as a door slammed somewhere above the ceiling. Rufus smirked. "Playtime at the zoo?"

The barmaid nodded, refilling his glass. "It gets pretty crazy around here. They're Ultimate Weapon, fun-size."

Rufus grinned. "For some reason, it just seems out of character for Cloud yell at children. He sees evil dictators and demented science experiments eye to eye, but I don't think he could say boo to a goose."

Tifa chuckled, making the hairs rise on the back of Rufus' neck. "Tifa...there's something I need to talk to you about."

Tifa faced him, hands on her hips. "Does it have to do with the letter?"

Rufus nodded. "However, just so you know, that letter was hidden in my desk. I was finding the right time to send it, and my zealous Turks decided to mail it for me. Of course, having only 2 IQ points, the delivery boy thought that the letter was for himself and opened it."

Tifa gave Rufus a compassionate look. He continued.

"The repurcussions have been... well, we won't get into it," Rufus shook his head. "Anyway, the letter..."

"Ooh! Tell me who its for!" Tifa leaned on the counter, completely attentive. Her face was inches away from his, and Rufus' mind went blank. Silently cursing the alcohol and lack of composure, Rufus stuttered.

"I... I... can't remember."

Tifa arched an eyebrow. "Can't, or won't?"

Won't.

Rufus sighed. "Tifa... would you consider me... a friend?"

Tifa leaned back, deep in thought. Rufus took her hesitation for a 'no'.

"I guess not."

"Rufus, the only reason I said nothing is because I'm wondering why the ShinRa president would ask such a stupid question."

Rufus grinned and finished his Scotch. "I'm in love with someone," he began, "and I'm not sure how she feels about me."

"Well, be bold!" Tifa said breezily, "You never know what she might be thinking."

Rufus held her eye contact for several seconds before she blushed and turned away. "Want more Scotch?" she asked.

"No, thanks. But thanks for the advice. I might just take it. Hey, speaking of boldness, would you and Cloud and the kids like to come with me and the Turks to the Gold Saucer for the weekend?" He asked, formulating a plan in his mind.

Tifa jumped with delight. "Oh! That would be wonderful," she exclaimed, "and we have our unlimited pass, too! Maybe Cloud will let me ride Shadow again..."

"Shadow?"

"The black chocobo we bred way back when," she explained. "You know, when Sephiroth was alive and kicking our asses."

"Ah. You never bred a gold one?"

"Oh yes. But that one was Cid Highwind's. He wouldn't let anyone near it. So we sent Cid on a little mission to find a mysterious materia on a northern island in a cave. He was freaked out when he came back. He doesn't really like water anymore. Or caves."

Rufus' mind immediately went back to the file he had read proposing to build a mako reactor. Speaking of idiots...

"So, do you think Cloud will want to come?"

"I'll talk to him. But count on me and the kids joining you."

Rufus got off the barstool. "Shall I pick you up in 3 days?"

Tifa nodded. "Sounds great."


"Tifa, you and the squirts go, but I'm not interested." Cloud told her, not looking up from his gameboy.

"You say that alot, you know."

"What, squirts?"

Tifa rolled her eyes. "Never mind. So, you're not coming?"

"No." Not with you and...Shakespeare-fanboy.

Tifa gave an audible sigh. "Okay. Wait, isn't that Denzel's gameboy?"

"Uh, he sold it to me."

"What?"

"Yeah, he said he would give me his gameboy if I stopped putting him in a sleeper hold."

Without a word, she walked out, leaving Cloud to play Mario. Princess Peach is hot.

Cloud's eyes followed her out the room, and when the door shut, he exited the game. He took out his cell phone. Pushing a couple of buttons, he held it to his ear.

"Barret? Yeah, I need a favour. Get everyone together and call Cid. We're gonna need a ride to the Gold Saucer."


This was a short one. It's going to get much more stupid as the story progresses, so hold on to your drawers. I thought of another bad plot bunny to put in here: AVALANCHE. Hopefully, it will turn out quite hilarious.

Please, READ & REVIEW! :DD