Colt's hand slid across my stomach his fingers tracing my tattoos, his eyes were once again searching mine as his hand slid to the top of my pants, "are you sure?" the moment he spoke these words I wish he could return them to his mouth, I'm not sure, there is nothing in my life I am sure about right now.I pushed him away gently, standing I crossed the room standing by the balcony doorway I watched as the sky sprinkled diamonds onto the ground coating the world in sparkles. I could see his reflection in the glass staring at me, he hadn't made a move but the look on his face spoke loud in the silent room. He wanted me but I could see the conflicting emotions, he wanted me but he wasn't sure about this, about us, about me. I want to tell him we would be okay in the light of the morning but I'm sure it's a lie. He finally speaks and his request is more difficult than he knows. "say something." If only it is that simple I open my mouth and words tumble out for a living but here with him I am tongue tied.
I turn and go back to the bed kneeling down by his legs I reach out and undo the button of his jeans, he allows me to remove them, I slide my bare hand up his bare leg, thinking how my chipped polish is contradiction to his tan skin, it reflects how we are though my imperfections versus his perfection. I push the thoughts away tugging down Colt's boxers my eyes take in every inch. His erection lays hard against his stomach, hard and huge bigger then I could have imagined and it causes my eyes to widen, I am no slouch in the well endowed department but damn he may be the king. I feel his eyes watching every facial expression I make, every move I think he is waiting for me to run again, I'm not going to at least not now. I lean forward and like the precum from his tip, I hear him hiss but my moan is louder. His taste is everything I imagined it would be and more, I want, I need to taste all of him so I take him in as far as I can my tongue tracing every inch, my lips stretched, my cheeks hollow as I suck. I want to make him come undone, I want him not to ever know as much pleasure as he does tonight. I need to erase every other person from his mind. I feel his hand in my hair and I allow him to guide me until he is being to gentle for my taste and I try to swat his hand away, he just tightens his grip and I remember this isn't about fucking, it's about something different new and I'm not sure I want that it makes me feel vulnerable yet he doesn't let me increase the pace.
He finally pulls me up lowering me back on the bed, I watch as he crosses the room and returns with a bottle of lube, not something I am use too and again I am uncomfortable. He pushes my legs apart and slides down between them I think at first to take me in his mouth but then I feel the tongue run across my hole, my eyes widen and at first I think it is strange no one has ever done this to me, I wrinkle my forehead and bite at my sore lip, but it doesn't take long and I understand the attraction of this activity his tongue caressing, exploring, opening me up is breathtaking, I am moaning, and whimpering almost at the same time and I feel him smile as I come undone for him, not the plan but too late to back out now. I grip his hair and tug wanting more but at the same time never wanting him to stop, my back arches and I think I may yell slightly when a lubed finger slides inside of me. I look down and see he is watching me and I can't look away from his eyes, mesmerized my moans turn to plea's that fall upon deaf ears as he takes his time to prepare me, one finger turns to two, then three and he easily finds the spot in me that causes my body to come alive and move against those fingers. Then he is over me and his legs push mine apart widening for his entrance, he slide inside slowly letting me adjust, I want more, I want it hard, fast, rough the way I am used too instead I get steady, slow gentle, and with a few strokes I have lost this war.
I have no clue I am crying until his fingers wipe away the tears. This moment of tenderness further makes me fall apart I pull him down for a kiss, and as his lips are about to meet mine I whisper the words I've needed to for a while "I love you" his lips claim mine and I can't see his expression or tell if he heard me. I pull away from the kiss looking at his face and I know he heard me, he cries now and I wonder when love became about tears. He buries his head in my neck and we move together, both falling over the edge together.
I lay in his arms and no one speaks, I think we both know the truth tonight would forever be in my mind but I am going back to Raven in the morning. I'm going to go back and Colt is going to give up on me. Tonight is our goodbye, I can't keep waiting and neither can he I understand that now. I'm not ready yet for him, and he can't keep hoping I will be. I may never be ready for him, at this point I don't know how to love in a way that wouldn't destroy us. In the morning I'm leaving and he will move on and find the person who he wants to spend the rest of his life with and I hope he is happy. I wonder if I will ever be happy, if he hopes that I will be. I'm a miserable bastard right now and I can't keep pulling him down with me, but I know I will always watch from afar he will always be in my mind.
Morning comes too quickly for both of us, neither of us have slept, nor have we spoken I pull from his arms reluctantly still feeling him on my skin. I go into the bathroom and clean up, pulling on fresh clothes I see one of Colt's t-shirts on the floor and stuff it quickly into my bag wanting to have just a little piece of him when I leave. As he cleans up I get informed by text that we are snowed in and not going to make it to the show, I wasn't going to the show either way but now I need to figure out how the hell to get out of here today. I'm standing on the balcony when he appears. He speaks first and I force a smile. "Punkers" it's a question I am not answering so I look back at him.
"Come outside with me, play in the snow, lets build a snowman" he nods and follows me out. We play and I relax enough to enjoy it laughing feels good I have a feeling it will be awhile before I do it again. We stay out until I am too cold to continue, when we return to the room the silence is back. He speaks first again and I cringe because the talk has begun.
"Did you mean what you said last night?" Of course he starts there the one place I will not go with him.
"I'm leaving, heading back to Chicago this afternoon, there is a bus heading out." he laughs but not with humor and I keep my back to him.
"Of course you are, why stay and be happy when you can run back to him and be a punching bag. I should have known this is your typical style never stick around when the shit gets real.'' He is right about that I tend to run away instead of facing my problems lately.
"I don't want you in my life anymore Colt" my voice breaks and I have to clear my throat "I'm going to make sure not to book myself on shows you are on. I don't want you to call, or stop by. I can't be your friend this needs to stop." My hand grips the table edge in front of me so hard I know its going to leave a mark and I wait.
"You really are an ass, we sleep together once and you think that means you should break up with me?"
"No that's not it, I wish I could be ready for this but I 'm not I may never be, you don't deserve this Colt, you deserve better and I hope you find happiness. Be happy please just not with me." I am spun around and he is right in front of me and when I look in his eyes I want to curl up and die I'm hurting him and I can not deny the fact that this is my fault.
"What if I'm ready to accept you for who you are? What if this, as messed up as you can be is exactly what I want? Do I get a choice in this? Or is this about Raven? DO YOU LOVE HIM PHIL? DO YOU LOVE HIM MORE THAN ME?" he screams in my face his hands tightening around my wrist and I see the out I need, but I'm not sure I can take it. It would put the final nail in our friendship so I pause. He shakes me and I let him, I know he wants answer so I finally give them to him.
"You don't get a choice Colt, I am leaving and I hope you have a wonderful life, but my life is with Raven I love him, more than I could ever love you." My wrist are let go of and he is gone but not before I saw his face, I destroy us and now I can never take it back, I think my heart may actually be breaking I can't breathe and my chest hearts. I force myself into action grabbing my crap I run again, heading for the bus station and my way out of this mess.
It's been a few months, months of wanting to reach out to him apologize, months of not speaking to my friends, or ignoring the world throwing myself into work and Raven. I've avoided him like the plague and he has respected my request not that I gave him much of a choice, I changed my number and moved in with Raven as soon as I got back to Chicago Living in Philly was hell but if I was still in Chicago I would track him down and beg him to love me back. Yet here I am and the fates are laughing at me. Despite the fact that I made it clear I didn't want to work shows with him, and go out of my way to check he is not booked when I am he is here in New Jersey and I am hiding in a bathroom. I've heard rumors that he is dating someone, that he has moved on and he is thriving without me. He seemed happy when I briefly saw him in the locker room before I fled, I came here to hide from my former best friend. Hell he is still my best friend, my brain reminds me I currently have no friends except for the people Raven hangs out with who don't really talk to you, and try to get you high. It is so fucking fun too constantly tell the same people that you are straight edge and to take their drugs and fuck off. I rest my forehead into my heads as the headache I have is increasing, my head hasn't been right since the day before when Raven decided to slam it against a brick wall several times. I think it may be a concussion, I am not sure though it seems worse, like the fact that right after it happened I felt an odd warmth on my left side, or the fact that my back is incredibly stiff, sleeping had been impossible with the pain and at one point I almost asked Raven to take me to the hospital not that he would.
I'm shaken from my thoughts by the appearance of Reckless Youth my opponent for the night. We quickly go over the match and I get ready to head out. I hear AFI begin to pound through the system and I make my way towards the ring just before going out to the curtain I see Colt watching me and notice he is with Ace and Hero and I wonder briefly why they are all here. My match is shit, and my head well gravity is trying to shove it to the ground and god knows I want to let it but not before I get behind the curtain, the chair is shitty walker but at least it keeps me on my feet. As soon as I am out of the crowds sight I go down and damn the floor feels good, people are talking to me and I am puking, water is being poured on my back and that is not helping, I hold my head and decline an ambulance I'll be fine. Everything is blurring but Colt's voice focuses me back in, he is asking me stupid questions but I answer them to the best of my ability. Speaking to him for the first time since that morning, this wasn't how I imagined it but hey at least he spoke to me. Colt offers to take me to the ER and I nod slightly only to be informed they already called an ambulance, Colt states that is stupid and I agree I'm fine after all. I know I'm not so fine when light starts to hurt my eyes, and when the EMT's put me on a back board and neck brace my head pounds worse. The whole ride in the ambulance is a blur except that Colt is with me, holding my hand.
I'm told I have a fractured skull, and blood in the spinal column and I laugh, Colt is in shock and I laugh. I refuse all drugs and the doctor once again asks me how this happen I tell him in the ring and he asks when I tell him early tonight and that's when he says that it didn't happen tonight, he can tell by the swelling it is at least twenty-four to forty-eight hours old. I don't respond why bother Colt will know the truth even if I deny it so I shrug and close my eyes wanting to sleep.
I check myself out the next day, finding myself in a hotel room with Colt, Ace, Hero and a pizza I scarf down. They are making arrangements to fly me home at first I think they mean to Philly, but then I learn to Chicago to stay at Chez's parents while I heal. I want to say that I need to go home to Philly but I think that would just piss the men off more, and since no one has said Raven's name it is probably best I leave it this way for now. So I eat my pizza silent and agree to go to Chicago though I need to call Raven and tell him I'm suppose to home by now, I wonder why he isn't blowing my phone up. I learn the reason a few hours later when a pounding on the door to the room wakes me up. I watch as Colt goes over and looks through the peep-hole a sick smile crosses his face and he rolls his shoulders. He opens the door and disappears out before I can see who is on the other side. I know quickly though, the raised voices and sounds of a fight tip me off that Raven is here. Ace slides out of the room I think at first to break up the fight but it seems to only get worse so I stand and Hero blocks my way. "Move Chris if I don't stop it then someone may end up in jail. Just move don't worry I'm not going with him." Chris steps out-of-the-way and I go out my arms wrapping around colt pulling him back as Chris pulls back Ace. I struggle with Colt, finally just whimpering "my head hurts enough please stop" he immediately freezes and I sigh letting him go. Raven is picking himself off the ground and I can see they did a number on him, I almost feel bad, almost.
"Fucking bitch, stupid whore look what you fucking did" he spits at me but I am not in the mood for his bullshit so I turn to go back into the room, standing is making me hurt. "where the fuck are you going, lets head home Punk" I roll my eyes and look at him and laugh.
"Are you kidding me, you almost killed me I am not going anywhere with you. I plan on going home to Chicago without you so see ya later." His eyes are murderous and he starts smirking I know what ever he says next is going to suck.
"So you going to be his whore then, does he know what you've been up too? Does he know you've slept around, cheating on me that you can't be trusted? Does he know you got high a few weeks ago? Does he know the dirty little secret I know, does he know how you cut yourself." I glare at the man and wonder if I have enough energy to bash his head into a brick wall.
"You slip drugs into my drink, I didn't willingly get high and it back fired on you, just made me hate the idea more. I have never cheated on you, I told you I am seeing a therapist just because you don't believe that is where I am going is not my fault. I am no one's whore, and I will never be sleeping with you again so go to hell." I walk back into the bedroom hoping they kill him at this point. I lay back onto the bed and the door closes, I feel hands on my legs tugging at the shorts and I just reach down and pull them up so Colt can see the small shallow cuts. I have a history here this isn't the first time but its a lot less than in the past.
"Thought we were done with this bullshit" I shrug at Colt and he just shakes his head, he goes to walk away and I grab his arm tugging on him.
"I hurt, I'm tired so please no more yelling, no more fighting, no more tonight. My shrink says that sets me off and I throw up my walls. Just sit down and stay still for me." Colt look confused as I force him to sit on the bed his back leaning against the wall I place my head in his lap and close my eyes. I hear Hero chuckle and Ace snort but I just get comfortable, glancing up at Colt. I don't care if he has moved on, he offered to take care of me until I got home and damn it at least for now he is mine.
The plane ride is miserable, the worst pain I ever felt I'm sure Colt had permanent damage to his hand from how hard I am squeezing it trying not to scream, yet he never says a word just lets me cling to him. When we reach Chez's parents home I am grateful to see the bed all I want to do is sleep and so that is what I do. I sleep for hours, and hours turn to days yet whenever I open my eyes he is there making me drink something, eat some crackers I have no appetite at this point, helping me to the bathroom. We never talk, I am never awake long enough too he suggest going back to the hospital but I refuse to he lets me lay here and heal. Days turn to weeks and after a month or so my appetite comes back and I start to stay awake longer, I want to ask why he is here, I want to tell him he can leave but I don't do either. I tell him I want to go the gym, need to go back to wrestling and he tells me no not yet and I accept this. One day when I've been up for a while he agrees to go for a walk and so we do and I feel better with the fresh air and exercise so we watch a movie. Half way through he speaks and I am caught off guard by the question. "are you done being stupid yet, or should I expect you to throw me out again soon?" I take a deep breath and turn to look at him.
"I am an idiot I don't deny this, hell I'm in therapy because of it. I can't make promises though Colt. I want you here, I need you in my life as a friend for now. If you have given up on me that is okay but just stay for now."
"I will never give up on you, I hope you recognize that by now. Just warn me the next time you are going to shut me out please" I nod and snuggle back into his side knowing this is more than friendly but for the moment I could care less.
I sit in Colt's apartment watching TV waiting for him to get home, well really it is not so much his at this point since I am slowly getting back on my feet even gone to the gym a few times granted I got dizzy anytime I lifted a weight over my head but its progress. Though what I am really saying is that I've been living at Colt's place, well staying here at least until I find a place of my own. Since when I moved to Philly I gave up my shoebox. I regret that now of course since Raven has all my stuff and I really need to contact him so I can at least get my comics and dvd's back, though Colt just wants to replace them all so I never see him again.
A knock on the door distracts me from channel surfing and I wonder if Colt forgot his keys. I walk over opening the door with a smile that quickly changes to a scowl. "Marshal can I help you?" Colt's ex stands in front of me and it just points out the difference between myself and who he normally dates. Marshal is clean-cut, no tattoos, no piercing his hair is natural and not a strand out-of-place. He doesn't fit into my world at all, but he would fit in with Colt's another place we are polar opposites.
"You're here great, I came to see Scott is he in?" I glare at him crossing my arms over my chest, hoping he would take the point that he is not welcome.
"Nope he is not home right now, and I think he has made it perfectly clear that he doesn't want to see you or speak to you." Marshal tries to push past me into the apartment but I refuse to budge, nudging him back slightly. "I didn't invite you in now leave"
"This isn't your place it is Colts and I want to speak to him. Move aside I'm sure he is home." I am tempted to punch him but instead take a step closer getting right into his face.
"I live here now, this is my place and just so we are clear Colt also belongs to me now. I don't lie when I tell you he is not home I mean it. So why don't you take your trashy, good for nothing bitch ass and leave before I call the cops and charge you with trespassing."
"Oh so he finally decided to go slumming did he, well don't worry Colt will get tired of messing with trash and throw you out like the garbage you are and I will be waiting when he comes to his senses." I swing without thinking about it, he touched a nerve so I reacted and when he shoved me back and my head hit the door frame I see pretty stars and my stomach rolls. I tried to shake it off to defend myself but I don't need to Colt has him and I think the point is made that he is not welcome and Colt would like to kill him, I leave the beating and go sit on the couch trying not to throw up. Now I know Colt's right I am not ready to be back in the ring if I can't take a light blow to the head yet. I lay down and throw my arms over my eyes I hear the click of the door and feet heading towards me. My arms are lifted and Colt is checking me over.
"I'm fine just dizzy it will pass. I shouldn't have let him get to me, I should have kept my temper in check he's just right about so much that he said, and on top of that he is an arrogant, smug asshole. Why did you ever date him in the first place?" Colt ignores me at first going to the kitchen and returning with an ice bag my head is lifted and I groan as the need to puke increases. Colt sits and rest my head on his lap holding the ice pack in place.
"You have a small lump, I'm going to keep an eye on you if anything seems off I am taking you to the hospital. You are right you shouldn't have reacted to him. I was lonely when I met him, didn't recognize that he was and is all wrong for me. Yes he is an ass I agree and I doubt he is right about anything but care to tell me what you think he is so right about." I don't really want to answer him I am feeling insecure right now.
"He just pointed out that you're going to get tired of me being here, I'm not easy to live with which is why I need to start finding an apartment. I should look in the paper for a place." I go to stand and he keeps me in place. I look up at him and know he knows I'm not telling him the whole truth.
"If I didn't want you here you wouldn't be here. You are not going to look for an apartment right now Phil, maybe when you are stronger we can talk about that but right not it is not an option. Are you hungry, I got some burritos from that place you like." I sit up slowly grateful I am no longer nauseous He brings over the takeout and we eat in silence. I know he is going away for the weekend to a show and I want to ask him to stay with me. He'll leave first thing in the morning and I'll be alone til Monday, I usually like to be alone but don't feel like I'm going to do alone well this weekend.
"Who are you dating?" I ask him breaking the silence he gives me an odd look and sits his food aside. "I mean I heard you were seeing someone, but the last month you have been by my side so I just wanted who was being so nice to not be angry you haven't been around. Are they going with you this weekend? Oh god were you dating Marshal again?" Colt takes a deep breath and I can see him counting down from ten when he reaches one he does it again before taking my hands in his.
"I am not dating anyone, I haven't dated anyone since we were in Connecticut, yes there is a rumor but if you listened closely you would know that there is no way in hell I would be dating Joe. Though I am assuming people think that because he helped me out a lot the last couple of months. I am going this weekend with Ace, Danny, and Joe. I would take you with me but I know you to well and you would be begging Gabe to let you wrestle and he would give in. I can cancel if you want me too. Just say the world and we will spend the weekend hanging out." I shake my head no and grimace the headache that's coming on is going to be a bitch.
"I'll be fine by myself, I know you need to work to pay for this place, even though I keep telling you I can pay my share of the rent while I'm here. Though having a sugar daddy is kind of a huge turn on." It's the closes I've gotten to flirting with him and I hope he sees that I am. The smirk in his face tells me he caught on and he leans forward.
"Sugar daddies usually get something in return for their generosity Punk, I mean I just saved your ass from a beating and brought you dinner, so what do I get in return." I lean forward so our lips are almost touching.
"I'll do the. . ." I stroked his arm gently "dishes" with that I stood and head into the kitchen. I start the dishes while I am scrubbing at a pot with a foreign substance that I do not want to know about I hear my phone go off in the living. It's a text message so I ignore it. A shadow fills the doorway and I look over to Colt he stands clutching my phone with an unreadable expression.
"You're still talking to him?"
"Who are you talking about?"
"Raven, you are talking to him. Do you even give a fuck what he did to you?" I grab my phone and check the message rolling my eyes.
"I told you I wanted to get my stuff back from him, that is the only reason I am talking to him. I know what he did I feel the effects every day." Colt laughs bitterly and I know now he read more than this text.
"Really just this morning you told him and I fucking quote I love you too, and I forgive you, so what the hell are you doing here? Are you fucking using me to make your self feel good, Are you going back to him? You know I've never asked you about those months but why don't you be honest with me and tell me how bad it got. Tell me why he fractured your skull it was probably your fault right." I heard the sarcasm but he was hitting a little close to home with his accusations.
"I'm not talking to you about any of this until you chill out, I'm going back to the dishes which you apparently don't know how to do ever." He grabs my arm before I can go back to the sink.
"Answer him, he said he is in town and wants to meet. So answer him right the fuck now." I push his hand away and storm into the living room searching for my keys. When I find them I head for the door and he stands in my way. "Where are you going?"
"I'm leaving get out of my way Colt." he refuses to budge when I try to push past him. "Move Colt" I practically scream in his face he doesn't even blink hell I can't even tell if he is breathing.
"You don't get to do this Phil, run away whenever things get tough. Stand there and fight it out with me Punk in the ring would, so why can't Phil in real life stand his ground." I am seething and want out of the apartment so I do something I would normally never do and knee him as hard as I can in the balls. He doubles over and I push past him.
"Punk and I are not one and the same all the time Colt, you should know that. I'm leaving don't hold your breath that I will ever be back. Why don't you call Marshal since he is so much fucking better than I am and I'm sure would never run away." I storm out the door and head down the stairs I hear him right behind me now that he is recovered from my tiny attack. He reaches out and I shrug him off.
"Phil wait...wait damn it I'm sorry" I stop and his arms wrap around me. I accept it but tense at the same time. "You once told me you loved me well I need you to know that I love you too. Through the storm, the good and bad days I am here, but I am not willing to watch you run back to him. Raven is nothing but darkness for you, but you head into it like its your saving grace. If you chose to go back to him then I can not stop you but it would break my heart and I refuse to watch him destroy you. So if you leave her and run to him don't come back, I can't do it anymore." He kisses my neck gently and let's go walking away I hear him climb the stairs and I am frozen. I don't do well with ultimatums and I am pretty sure Colt just laid one at my feet. I have no plans to go back to Raven but the fact that he thinks I would hurts me more than I can express. It almost makes me want to see Raven, to hear him out, almost. Instead I head out the door and to Ace;s house, Joe is in town and I am sure they are out partying but I want to talk to Joe and this will give me enough time to cool off before I go back home.
I arrive at Ace's place to find it empty so I grab a soda and wait, I think about calling them too see where they are but know they will be back soon they have to leave early. I send a text to Raven informing him I am out of town and can not meet him but if he brought my stuff he could just leave it at Chez's since she would be the only one not to kill him on sight. He doesn't respond and I don't care he is fucking stuff up with Colt. Stuff that I am attempting to make work despite the fact it is doomed to fail. The door to the apartment hits the wall hard jumping the fuck out of me. I look over and stand quickly backing away fumbling with my phone to call for help. Raven is enraged I can see it in his eyes and that never bodes well for me. "You little lying bitch, you don't think I know where you are. Where you have been staying, or who you've been fucking. You're cheating on me with that lame ass joke of a wrestler, I'm not bringing your stuff to you, you are going to fucking come home now Punk. Lets fucking go." I don't move my finger finding the call button and hitting send right before I thrown against the wall. I try to defend myself, I scream for help unsure if the call went through. He is on top of me and I can't think straight, sure that I am going to throw up on him, everything is spinning and he is screaming at me. I finally understand he is asking if I slept with Colt while we've been together and I see no point in lying about it now, he is probably going to kill me as it is so I nod. He is choking me with one hand while undoing my pants and I scream and try to fight him off.
He is calling me a slut, a whore, and telling me to stop fighting that I know I want this but I don't. I am struggling, scratching, clawing, biting, hitting to escape before it goes any further my body running on adrenaline my mind not really functioning I lean up and my fingers grasp the chain around his neck twisting the heavy metal until he is no longer able to draw a breath and he struggles against me for a change. I don't want to kill him so as soon as I see him start to go week I shove him away and run for the kitchen pulling open draws knowing I don't have a lot of time until he recovers. I find a large knife and grab it huddling against the counter. I hear foot steps and slide into a tighter ball trying to make myself as small and invisible as possible. I can not beat him in a fight right now, my head can't take anymore it already feels like any healing that has happened is gone. I watch as the black boots approach, my body is shaking and my grip on the knife is not great my body is not responding to me the way I need, I flex my hand and tightening my grip, refusing to let this man kill me. I stand slowly and he is right in front of me "Leave, get out now" I state firmly he doesn't move laughing in my face and my hand without the knife reaches out and slaps him wiping away the smirk quickly. "You are pathetic, really fucking pathetic. You want to kill me, you want to rape me go ahead I am too weak to stop you but know one thing I never loved you, no one ever could love you. You are nothing more than a pit stop until people become aware they deserve better than you. If you kill me it won't matter because I know now what real love is, hell I know what real sex is. You are extremely unsatisfying in bed and that's an improvement for your performance in the ring. Get out of this house, get out of my life or I will tell the world how I really fractured my skull, people love my live journal and the stories I tell, I swear I will ruin you." I turned on Punk to the best of my ability lashing out hoping he would back down if I stood up to him. It didn't work but at least I tried, when he grabbed me to throw me to the ground again I brought the knife down his arm at first I didn't think it accomplished anything until I felt his blood falling on me as he again tried to get my pants off. I drove the knife again into his arm and he swore at me, grabbing my wrist tightly squeezing until the knife clattered to the ground he shoved it away.
My pants are wrenched down and I screamed, and screamed for help. My hands punched at his wounded arm, digging my fingers into the cut, he is bleeding a lot and it is coating my hand, causing my to become slippery and less able to hold onto the wounded arm. I wonder why no one is helping me it is an apartment building someone has to hear me screaming. He is trying to get his pants undone and so I bring the heel off my hand up into his nose busting it more blood dripping from him on to me though the moment gives me a chance to roll over and try to crawl away he grabs my ankle to pull me back to him and I drive the heel of my sneaker into his throat, he is coughing and sputtering as I run to Ace's room locking the door, I go into the bathroom and lock that door also I see a pair of Ace's shorts and yank them on climbing into the tub I stare waiting at the door.
I don't know how long I waited, every minute felt like a second he could come in and finish his plan at any moment and I never got to talk to Colt the way I needed too. I am dizzy, holding on to consciousness by a very thin thread, I may be bleeding but I'm not sure so much of his blood covers me. I want to throw up but I am trying to hold down that feeling. I freeze when I hear voices, it is not Raven's however the voices belong to Joe and Ace I want to call out to them tell them raven could still be here but I don't, I won't let him know where I am. I here the rattle of keys in the door a few minutes later and it is opened slowly to reveal Ace. He approaches me cautiously and I don't blame him, I'm shaking, covered in blood, and at some point started crying. "Raven, Raven is here" I tell him frantically wanting him to close the door.
"It's okay Joe has him in the kitchen, he is unconscious you did a number on him. He's lost a lot of blood. He is not going anywhere we will handle him okay." Punk's eyes widened what if he died then he would go to prison for killing him.
"Colt I want Colt." Ace is trying to check me for injuries and I just keep shying away.
"He is on his way, we've tried to find you since you called him. I'm sorry it took so long we didn't think to look here." I nod staying in my ball on the cold porcelain waiting for Colt. He appears quickly and pushes Ace out-of-the-way beginning to check me over, I allow him to do this.
"Most of it is his blood, my head is not doing well though" I tell him this and he nods pulling me to my feet he turns on the shower and I stand under the water the blood washing off so Colt can get a better handle on my situation.
"Did he rape you?" I shake my head no and see relief flash through Colt's eyes.
"Tried to but didn't succeed, is he going to die?" Colt lifts me from the shower removing my clothes and bundling me into towels.
"No he will live as long as I don't kill him. I tried to get to you sooner and hearing you screaming tore me apart. I didn't know where you were. I'm sorry he got to hurt you." I'm still shaking as he dresses me in some of Ace's clothes and then leads me to the living room. I sit on the couch while he retrieves my phone from the floor. Ace and Joe walk back into the apartment and I look at them confused looking towards the kitchen.
"We took care of him, don't worry he won't say a word to anyone about tonight. I'm going to clean up the kitchen, Joe clean up in here, Colt take care of Punk." Ace barked instructions and they were immediately followed.
"I'm taking Punk to the hospital he needs to have his head checked out." Ace nodded like it is the logical decision. I on the other hand protested.
"No I'm fine, just need to rest they can't do anything for it even if he re-fractured it. Colt I need to tell you something please." He looked at me from where he is helping Joe right the coffee table. :I love you, I want to be with you, but please be patient with me I'm really messed up. I was never going to see Raven, I never loved him. I love you I need to make sure you know that." Ace and Joe both had smiles on, but Colt seemed stunned in fact I don't think he is blinking currently the way he is staring at me. "Colt" I say this in worry and with a fear of rejection. He quickly crosses to me and his lips are again on mine and I feel so much better accept for one thing. I pull back quickly "I'm going to puke" I grab my head as the pain intensifies and I repeatedly heave into the trash can Colt hands me.
"Call an ambulance" I hear Colt from a distance my whole body feels off, I look up at him and then my whole body went cold. My mind is racing and I can't control anything Colt is moving me to the floor and Ace is on the phone. Colt is talking and I try to focus on the voice but it is so far away. "Punk. . .seizure. . .calm" I understand but it seems dream like, I've never had a seizure why would I have one now? I black out, at least I think I did when I come too EMT's are hovering above me Colt is informing them of my condition and that I decided to be an idiot and wrestle tonight and he thinks it re-injured my head. I understand the lie and I feel grateful for it, I try to speak but find myself unable to as the words slur in my mouth. Colt looks at me and forces a smile I can tell he is worried, hell I am scared as all hell, even briefly thought about praying to god but nixed that idea quickly, god doesn't exist so I just focused on Colt. I wince at a pinch on my arm "IV it's an IV you need it they need to get some anti-convulsion medications into you. Just let them treat you I will make sure they don't give you anything against your beliefs. Trust me okay? I love you too." I force a smile but if feels wrong, everything feels wrong and so far away.
"Kay" I slur out "lo...ve...y...u" it was the best I could do but I knew he got the message so I closed my eyes for a second to tired to keep them open any longer.
Thank you for reading and a big thank you to lamentomori you inspire me to keep writing and explore this couple furthur. If you haven't you should read everything she writes. This is not the end of Punk and Raven in this story there is more to come I know Raven is an ass so far and I myself want to punch him in the face but somehow I will find redemption for him, I love him to much to make him irredeemable. Please review!
