Bethyl Week Day 3 – Prompt word "Numb." Song – Trading Yesterday's She is the Sunlight
A/N: This little fic ties takes place right after Merle has just been killed. I'm thinking that Beth and Daryl already have a close friendship, maybe the start to a romantic relationship but we'll see where the muse takes me.
"Rick," Beth's voice was soft in volume but her tone was heavy with emotions, which made the sheriff turn to face her in concern.
"Beth, what's wrong?" she looked away briefly, her eyes tearing slightly.
"It's Daryl," she answered and Rick's heart stopped. His mind instantly filled with concern for his brother who had left to stop Merle from delivering Michonne to The Governor a few hours ago. Michonne had returned, but not the hunter or his brother. "He just got back…but Merle…Daryl found him. He-he had to put him down…He was by himself, Rick, and he had to see his brother as one of those things and kill him…" her voice choked and she swallowed heavily and cleared her throat. "He didn't have a way to bring back his body, so he left him there. I want to go get him and bring him home. Merle deserves a proper burial. Daryl needs that too." Rick stared at the blonde in front of him before nodding and removing his gloves.
"I'll get the truck." Beth nodded and walked quietly beside Rick up to where their vehicles were parked. The two ran into Glenn along the way and, even though he hated Merle with a deep passion, he agreed to help them retrieve the man's body for Daryl. Beth looked around the outside of the prison in hopes of seeing the hunter somewhere but he was nowhere to be seen. Not that she blamed him. If she lost Maggie, she'd want to be left alone too.
The three of them climbed into the truck and drove down to the gate where Maggie shot them a confused look before opening to gate for them and closing it behind them. The drive was short and Beth tried to enjoy it since it was the first time she had left the prison walls (aside from their brief hiding in the forest during the Governor's attack) but her heart couldn't lift from its heavy place in her chest. The truck came to a stop behind a worn down barn with several feed stores around it. Beth climbed out after Glenn, her small pocket knife held tightly in her hand as she instantly began looking around for Merle's body. The three of them walked close enough to each other that they could help if one had a problem, but they were far enough away that they could scope out the various bodies that littered the ground. Beth gasped when her eyes found Merle's body and instantly Rick and Glenn were beside her, concern that the young Greene was in danger filling their bodies before their eyes took in the man laying dead on the grass.
Rick unfolded a blanket and laid it beside the body. Beth's eyes watered when she saw the beating the older Dixon had taken as well as the bullet wound in his heart and the multiple stab wounds to his head. She figured Daryl must have let some of his anguish out on his brother's body and had to force herself to blink tears out of her eyes before moving to help Glenn and Rick with the body. It took all three of them to move it on to the blanket and they made quick work of wrapping the older Dixon before heaving his body up off the ground. The three of them struggled under the dead weight of the body but eventually got it onto the tailgate of the truck. Beth climbed into the bed with Merle and Rick and Glenn climbed into the cab and returned to the prison, the three staying oddly quiet during this whole time. They parked the truck near the graves and Beth jumped down from the bed to go get shovels and gloves for them all. Her blue eyes fell on Daryl when she approached the door to the cell block where they kept the gardening equipment and she paused, deciding that he needed to know what they had done first.
"Daryl?" she approached him quietly, sitting down beside him, their arms and legs brushing as she did so. His eyes were bloodshot when they met hers and she gently grabbed his hand in hers, squeezing it. She didn't know what to say to comfort him. He gently squeezed her hand back, his eyes watering slightly before he blinked them fiercely. "Rick, Glenn, and I brought Merle home…" she told him softly, making his eyes shoot to hers. His eyes were unreadable but he swallowed heavily before nodding softly.
"I'm gonna get shovels…I'll let you know when we're done, kay?" her question was answered with a hand squeeze before he let go and went back to staring at the ground in front of him. Beth wasn't sure why she did it, she only knew that she wanted to, but she leaned forward and placed her lips to his temple softly before standing and retrieving the shovels and gloves.
Daryl watched her walk away with the shovels. His heart was broken…or maybe it was just heavy. To be honest, he couldn't tell. All he knew was that his chest had been hurting constantly since he had found Merle and a lump was permanently stuck in his throat. He felt like his lungs couldn't get enough air and his eyes burned to shed tears he couldn't release. He felt, deep under his grief, surprise at what Beth had said and done for his brother and him. Daryl would have had to been blind to not see that his brother hadn't been the most pleasant man to have in the prison and that everyone tolerated Merle because of him. He also knew that Beth took the treatment of her family very seriously and that the many fights the older Dixon had caused in their family had probably tainted her view of the man. Yet she still went and risked her, Rick's, and Glenn's life to bring the jackass home to bury.
Time ticked by and nobody attempted to talk with the hurting hunter. He was fine with that. He had become numb, his eyes seeing but not registering Beth and Rick digging across the yard from him. His body feeling the loss of his brother but his mind refusing to acknowledge it.
"Hey," Beth's voice interrupted his thoughts and his eyes moved to where she stood in front of him. Her hair was sticking to her forehead and sweat shined on her face and her arms, her jacket tied around her waist. A cool fall breeze blew through and she shivered slightly as it chilled her sweat covered skin. "We're done. Come on," she held her hand out for him and he took it, not really using it to pull himself up but needing the anchor she offered to return to the world. She smiled softly at him and intertwined their fingers together and they walked side by side to the graves. Daryl was surprised to see their prison family all gathered and waiting for him. They had hated Merle, he knew that, but there they were. For him. Beth squeezed his hand before letting go and walking to the tailgate of the pickup.
Daryl's brain registered his heartache at the sight of the blanket wrapped body and he moved slowly over to it, his hand going briefly to Merle's covered shoulder before he, Rick, and Beth carefully picked his body up and carried him to the grave, easing the older Dixon into the hole. Daryl's ears registered Hershel reading something from the Bible and he felt his eyes burning as tears forced their way to the surface and down his cheeks. He grabbed a shovel and began filling the grave with Rick's help as Hershel continued to read and their family watched. When the grave was done, Beth brought a cross over and Rick pushed it into the ground while the blonde moved back to Daryl's side, her hand finding his again and holding it tightly while he wept silently. Time ticked by and eventually it was just Beth and Daryl standing at the grave. Beth plucked a wildflower and laid it on top of the grave.
"He'd probably cuss about the flower, huh?" she asked and Daryl smiled softly knowing she was right.
"Prolly call us all pussies for this. 'Specially me, cryin' like some girl."
"I think he'd understand. He cared about you. If the roles were reversed, he'd be just as upset as you are about it." Daryl's eyes met Beth's for a moment and he squeezed her hand.
"Thank you…for doin' this for him."
"He was a good man. He tried to save us by stopping the Governor. The least we could do is give him the respect and proper burial he deserves. I'm sorry that I can't do more and I'm sorry I can't help ease your pain…" Beth's lips met Daryl's cheek and he felt his throat constrict from the gesture, a strange, but pleasant, feeling settling in his chest.
"I…I wish I could be numb again…" he muttered.
"The pain doesn't go away…you just make room for it. That's what Andrea told me back at the farm. It annoyed me at the time but…it's true." Daryl's eyes looked at their hands, still intertwined, before going back up to Beth's face, taking in the way the pale sunlight lit up her hair and her eyes. He felt his heart lighten slightly when she smiled softly at him.
The petite woman had helped him through so much of his anguish already. When he had returned to the prison after finding Merle, the world had seemed so dark to him. All he felt was the pain of his loss, anger at what had happened…Somehow, the petite blonde next to him had brightened his mood. She was like the sunlight to him at that moment. Warm and soothing in the cold world around them. He didn't know why she had done everything she had for him and his brother, but he vowed to make sure she knew he appreciated it, somehow. He vowed to protect her, to keep her faith and hope alive for as long as he possibly could.
Little did he know the terrible future they were facing. The death of one of the best men he'd ever known, the relationship the two would form over months of being alone together, the loss he would feel as he, once again, lost the most important person to him. As he lost that light in his life.
She is the sunlight
And the sun is gone.
