I change shapes just to hide in this place but I'm still, I'm still an animal. Nobody knows it but me, when I slip, yeah I slip, I'm still an animal. Animal, Miike Snow.
Kim picked up the receiver and placed it to her ear, "Hello?" She said politely.
"I'm sorry." A voice spit out, as thought the person was reluctant to say it.
"Paul?"
"Who else would it be?" Paul laughed, though it was more a sarcastic chuckle than anything else. He was hot and cold. One minute he would be furious, and the next he was completely civil, pretending nothing had gone on in the first place. She supposed it was easier for him - pretending nothing had happened eliminated the need for awkward explanations and apologies - but it was throwing Kim for a loop.
"Well," Kim rambled nervously, awaiting the minute his temper would change, "It could be a number of people."
This time Paul laughed with humor, "You got a lot of enemies, Connweller?"
"Well no but-"
"Look, I'm just calling to say I'm sorry."
"Okay," He heard Kim pause nervously and rolled his eyes. She was so quiet, so shy - it unnerved him. A few seconds of silence later, she finished her statement with a quiet "thanks," and Paul took it as his que to end the conversation.
"Notta problem. Catch ya later Kim." Before waiting to hear her confused goodbye, Paul slammed Jared's cellphone shut with such force that Jared was surprised it didn't fall to pieces.
"Paul!" Jared scolded, snatching his phone back, "I told you to let me talk to her!"
His friend simply shrugged, "It's no big deal, just call her back."
"Well I can't do that now. She'll be creeped out."
"She should be creeped out. She's got herself a werewolf stalker." Paul sighed, knocking the phone out of Jared's hand and into his own. Jared watched nervously. It was partially for fear of Paul actually breaking if phone this time and partially because of the realization that in just a few seconds he would have to think of something interesting to say to Kim.
"Hello?" Though she sounded a bit nervous, most likely expecting a call back from Paul, Kim's voice was heavenly.
"Hi Kim, its Jared."
She brightened immediately, "Hi Jared."
"I just wanted to say that I'm really sorry about Paul today. He's just got some stuff going on but it still isn't an excuse. He shouldn't ever talk to you like that - nobody should. So I just wanted to make sure that everything is okay and you're mad at me, because I would really hate it if you were."
"I'm not mad Jared." Kim giggled, "And I'm really glad that you called."
"Really?" Jared asked, surprised. Kim's confidence was beginning to blow him away. He'd always thought of her as such a shy girl, but something about her lately seemed completely the opposite, at least around him, and he liked it. Of course, he knew he'd like Kim no matter how shy she was, but he appreciated her new boldness with him and he liked feeling as though he was a part of it.
"Really. Besides, we have to work out details for our project." Kim stated, for fear that she was beginning to sound to eager. Jared felt his happiness deflate, but only slightly. She was still happy that he'd called, and that was what mattered.
"We should get together to work on it, maybe tomorrow?"
"Sure. You can come over after school. You know, if you want." She'd tacked the end part of her sentence on purely out of politeness - the pause before it indicated that to Jared. He admired her courtesy; the way she was always considering the feelings of others.
Jared's response was dripping with excitement, "Sure!"
Kim giggled quietly, happy to hear that Jared seemed as excited to get together as she did - and this time she was positive that his excitement was not remotely for the assignment. A silence followed, both people too afraid of what the other thought of them to push the conversation forward. Ultimately, Kim ended the silence with words that Jared didn't necessarily want to hear, "Well, I should go."
"Okay, I'll see you tomorrow, right?" Jared asked hopefully.
"Right. Bye Jared."
"Bye Kimmy." Jared could feel his face flushing before he'd even finished the word. There was something about Kim and his feelings for her that made him say whatever was on his mind, no matter how much he knew he should hold back. He silently prayed that Kim had hung up before she'd heard him but something told him that polite, little Kim had been waiting for his farewell.
Paul was almost afraid to open his mouth because wasn't sure if he was going to laugh or throw up, "Kimmy?" He asked incredulously. When he saw Jared's face, he knew it was the former.
"Shut up." Jared commanded, hoping he wasn't turning even more red as Paul's smile turned into a laugh.
"I love you Kimmy." Paul mocked. He was bent over in a ridiculous position, clutching his sides and gasping for air, "Ou, Kimmy, I love you."
Jared resisted the urge to punch him.
"Anyone home?" Paul yelled loudly as they stepped over the threshold and into the Uley house. Though it had taken a long time (at least twenty minutes and a series of tackles from Jared), Paul had finally managed to calm down and suggested walking over to Sam's.
"In here!" A voice called from the other room.
Gemma Uley was standing at the kitchen counter when Paul and Jared walked in. She was leaning over her recipe book, the space between her eyebrows was furrowed in intense concentration as she studied a line of the page that was obviously troubling her. Her hair was falling across her face like a curtain, hiding it from view.
When she noticed their presence, she shut her book and looked up. A smile graced Gemma's feminine features and she ran a hand through her dark locks, "Hey guys."
"What were you looking at?" Paul asked, jumping up to sit on the kitchen counter. He leaned his head against one of the wooden cabinets, his hair almost blending in with the color of the dark material. Jared sometimes envied the good looks that his friend possessed - the shiny chestnut hair, his mysterious and intimidating almost black eyes, the dimples that made girls swoon. He couldn't exactly be objective about himself, but Jared was sure he would never have the effect on girls that Paul did. It would really help me now, Jared thought, his mind flooding to Kim.
"Oh nothing," Gemma said, waving her hand lazily. She seemed to be one of the only hormonal teenage girls who wasn't affected by Paul's good looks, "Just a little recipe I wanted to try out for Sam and Emily's engagement party."
Paul licked his lips hungrily, "What is it?" He reached out to touch the book.
"You don't get to know, silly," Gemma laughed as she tutted his hand away, "You'll blab to my brother."
"The telepathy thing is not my fault," Paul said indignantly, "It's not blabbing when I don't mean to do it."
"Blabber, blabber, blabber," Gemma sang. Her relationship with Paul was that of sister and brother, close enough to confide and take comfort in one another but also close enough to fight and tease. Around his wolf family, Paul was not always the temperamental guy that he seemed.
But sometimes, he was.
"I'm going to kill you," Paul growled playfully, jumping off the counter and advancing towards the small girl. Gemma giggled and ran to hide behind Jared's bulky frame. A few weeks ago, he would have offered very little protection to her. That day, standing over six feet with a sudden gain of a good amount of muscle, Jared was the perfect protector - he was built that way.
"No, you will not," Sam ordered sternly as he walked in from the front hall. He muttered a quick greeting to the boys and threw his coat onto the back of one of the kitchen chairs. Sam looked tired, he'd been forced to run extra patrols since Jared had returned to school and the pressure was closing in on him. The turning of more wolves could only mean that the vampire threat was slowly increasing and the danger that could be lurking seemed much too daunting for a pack of only three. He turned to Gemma, rubbing his temples with his first two fingers, "Where's Emily?"
"She's gone to the store," Gemma muttered, frowning at her brother in a worried way, "she'll back soon to help me start supper."
Sam tried not to let his frown show through, and leaned down to place a kiss on the top of Gemma's head, "Alright, I'm just going to get cleaned up, Gem, then the boys and I have to have a meeting."
"Alright, I'll just go do homework upstairs." Overprotective Sam rarely allowed Gemma to be part of wolf meetings, though sometimes she seemed to be as much a part of the pack as the rest of them. "Someone just come get me when it's okay to come back down."
Gemma grabbed her cookbook, sticking her tongue out at Paul as she skipped up the stairs behind her brother. The other boys made themselves comfortable in the small living room. Paul threw his large body across the worn couch and closed his eyes. Jared sat lightly on the single chair, dreading the moment that he would have to tell Sam about the imprinting incident. Nothing seemed more mortifying than discussing his almost nonexistent love life.
Sam came back down only a few minutes later, looking showered and clean in fresh clothes.
"What's the meeting about, boss?" Paul asked, his eyes still closed. He stressed the word 'boss' sarcastically. Jared wasn't sure that 'boss' was the correct word for Sam, but there didn't seem to be any word to describe exactly what he was. Maybe 'brother', or 'leader' would have been a better fit.
"I think someone is about to join us."
Paul shot up straight. He was no longer sleepy as he turned his eyes to Sam in alarm. It hadn't been long since Jared's transformation but it had really never occurred to him that at some point, there would be more than three wolves wandering around La Push. He was comfortable in their trio, finally growing used to being a wolf, following commands and working at his new, unavoidable job. The stress of another brother seemed like more than he could handle.
"Are you sure?" Jared asked.
Sam shrugged, in a way that indicated his relaxation with the situation as opposed to doubts or uncertainty, "Pretty sure. I can feel it." Whether it was an added alpha bonus or just his amazingly tuned intuition, Sam's feelings were almost always dead on. "I just need you two to keep an eye out for who it is. It's important that we know, so we can monitor the situation."
Monitoring the situation sounded like the last thing Jared wanted to do. He didn't even want a new wolf, let alone a new thing to babysit, but he knew the alpha command would be undeniable so he simply agreed before it could come to that, "Sure thing."
"I have some interesting news too," Paul had moved on from the stress of a new wolf and to the humor of embarrassing his unfortunately love struck friend.
Sam was peering out the window anxiously, most likely waiting for Emily's return. "What?" He asked, distractedly.
"Jared imprinted."
"No." Sam said skeptically. The second piece of large news that day caught his attention. His fiancee hadn't slipped his mind - that was definitely impossible - but staring out the window was much less interesting than Jared's imprinting.
One look at Jared and Sam didn't need a verbal confirmation. He looked lovestruck, embarrassed and slightly panicked, all the emotions that Sam could remember feeling not so long ago. Sam couldn't help but be amused at Jared's sudden bashfulness. He knew all the joys of imprinting and everything that came along with it. He couldn't tell whether he should laugh or hug the poor kid who was so obviously struggling with his new emotions.
Jared just nodded, lost in his thoughts.
"On who?" Sam asked. He had an air of disbelief, unsurprisingly. It wasn't that he doubted their honesty - Sam knew the boys would have no reason to lie and test his patience. It just seemed impossible that this imprinting, which was supposed to be something so uncommon in the Tribe's history, had already happened for two of the three boys in one generation.
"Kim Connweller," Jared's voice swelled with pride as he said her name. Paul didn't see the reasons that Jared was so proud of the unremarkable girl, but to Jared, there could be nothing more lovely or perfect or significant than Kim.
Sam was slightly disappointed when he didn't recognize her name and no faces came to mind. He had made it a priority for him to know everyone within their small tribe, but somehow Kim had slipped from his memory. "I don't think I know her."
Paul made a deep, throaty noise, somehow combining a snort and a scoff, "Not surprising."
"Shut up." Jared growled.
"Well congrats." Sam smiled, reaching out to clap Jared on the back. His large hand was too warm and he hit much harder than the normal person but Jared accepted the gesture, knowing that it was the closest to outright affection he'd receive. Sam was more playful, not the type for serious hugs. "And if you need to talk or advice or anything, you can always ask."
"Thanks Sam."
"No problem." Sam got up to leave, but just before he reached the door, he turned around, "Oh, and don't tell Gemma. Imprinting is off limits with her."
To say that Jared's day had been anything other than life-altering would be a lie. All in one day, he had found of out he was failing every single course (due to his extended "sick" period), he'd learned of a new, soon-to-be wolf and most importantly, he'd returned to school and met his soul mate. Jared thought about Kim all night. He hadn't had an imprint long enough to say for sure that this was how it would always be, but if Sam was anything to go by, Kim would be all Jared could think about for a very long time to come.
He was lying in his bed; blankets resting around his waist, his topless chest exposed to the cool air circulating through his dark bedroom. He thought about himself - his heat, his body, his life. He wondered if Kim would accept him for what he was and he longed for the day when he could tell her. He wanted them to be together, honestly and properly, like Sam and Emily. He envied them but tried his best not to compare his relationship (or lack thereof) to the other couple, because he was sure that getting his hopes up could only lead to them crashing down.
Was it wrong for him to want her - to hug her and kiss her and touch her? Was it wrong for him to picture their life together and the little children they would have, who would hopefully all inherit Kim's intelligence and beauty?
No, it wasn't bad. But it was very unlike Jared.
And surprisingly, he didn't mind.
Even the next morning, Kim was unable to shake the look of confusion off of her face. She went through her morning routine in a thoughtful daze, her mind unable to think of anything else than Jared and his sudden interest in her boring self. His phone call made things even more confusing to Kim. Why had he called her? Just to settle the little dispute she'd had with Paul over this tiny assignment? Something told Kim that it was more than that.
It was most definitely more than that. Despite the forced phone call, Jared was still worried that Kim was upset by what Paul had done. He didn't think he would be able to let it go until he could see Kim and be 100% sure that she was okay.
That was the thing about imprinting that Jared had discovered very early on. It was complete and utter devotion. The other person became a part of you, unchangeably and forever. Just as the wolf was a part of him, so was Kim. Jared was beginning to feel as though there were soon going to be too many parts of him to handle.
"Penny for your thoughts?" His least favorite sophomore, Serena Harding asked with a toothy grin. Jared felt very unnerved at the way she always managed to sneak up on him like that.
"I'm not sure his thoughts are worth that much." Gemma cut in, reaching her hand up to knock her fist playfully against Jared's skull, "Not too much goes on up there."
Definitely far from the sharpest tool in the shed, Gemma was hardly one to talk, but Jared was grateful for her interruption. Paul stood beside her, hovering silently.
Serena laughed lightly and walked away, muttering a quite rejected goodbye as she went.
"Ugh," Gemma scoffed, "I can't stand her."
It was obvious, from the look of disdain that Serena was sending at Gemma's turned back, that the girl didn't care much for Gemma. Jared laughed, "I don't think she's too fond of you either."
Gemma ignored him and pushed on, "You know who I do like?"
"Who?"
"Kim Connweller." She said in her sing-song voice.
Paul raised his eyebrows, smirking innocently, "Oh, really?"
"Yeah, really," Gemma smiled, "She's super pretty, don't you think? And really nice."
Jared hesitated. Kim was beautiful, undoubtedly, and he longed to say so. He would have screamed it from the top of the building if that wouldn't have scared off Kim immediately. But he knew Sam's alpha command. Authority had been dripping from every word when he'd told the boys that Gemma was to never be told about imprinting. Jared knew the second he opened his mouth about Kim, he'd never stop. The attraction of imprinting was impossible to miss, even for those not in it. So Jared settled for another lie, "Ugh, I guess."
"Why don't you date her then?" Paul teased Gemma, though his comment only granted him a sharp elbow to the stomach.
Gemma pushed the conversation, ignoring Paul's interruption as she so often did, "Don't you think so Jared?"
"Not really,"
"Don't lie to me Jared," Gemma said in a surprisingly firm and intimating voice for such a small girl. She reached over and grabbed Jared's shoulder, forcing him to look in her eyes, " I know you like her."
"I don't! Why do you think that?" Paul laughed. The boys had been friends long enough that Paul could see right through his friends words. And even if they hadn't, Jared had always been a terrible liar.
"I can see it," Gemma shook her head, "You can't hide things from me."
This much was true. Gemma had inescapable talent of reading people. Jared felt sorry for the man who ended up with her - he would never be able to hide anything.
"Fine, I really really like her."
Gemma smiled, relishing in her little victory. She knew Jared liked Kim, he wasn't exactly subtle with the way he stared at her or discussed her with anyone who would listen as long as Gemma was out of hearing range. She couldn't decide why Jared would hide it from her, but she thought it was more important to get the two together than dwell on being left out, "Well, what are you going to do about it?"
"What do you mean?" Jared asked. Boys could be impossibly oblivious.
Gemma sighed and clicked her tongue in disapproval, "You have to do something, silly. You have to show her that you like her."
"And how will he do that?" Paul asked. He chuckled to himself as he thought of how Jared could barely form coherent thoughts around Kim. If he managed to spit out a normal sentence, it was nothing more than an instinctual fluke. Gemma and Jared both glared at Paul.
"Flirt, flirt, flirt." Gemma smiled, putting her hand gently on Jared's shoulder, "And compliments never hurt."
"I think I can do that." His response was slow and hesitant but Gemma insisted on pushing him after Kim, pretending she hadn't noticed.
"You can!" Gemma cheered enthusiastically. She smiled as she wiggled her fingers in a wave, and said, "Knock her dead, tiger!"
"Yeah, tiger," Paul teased. Just before he spun around, Jared caught sight of the aforementioned boy shoving Gemma lightly.
He'd pay for that.
Catching site of Kim was like imprinting all over again. World shifting, mind losing all focus of things but her, and his body preparing to protect her. It was a shock and a relief all at once. Seeing her felt right - he knew she was safe, he could smell her and see her and touch her (or he could have if their relationship had progressed that far). Just being around her gave Jared an unbelievable sense of calm.
"Morning Jared," Kim said bravely when she walked into English a few minutes before the bell. She looked even prettier today, at least in Jared's eyes. She'd pinned the top parts of her hair back with a jeweled clip and was wearing a touch of makeup that he hadn't really noticed the day before. She didn't need the makeup - even without it she would have been the most beautiful woman in the room to him - but he liked when her hair was pulled back. He could see all of her face and notice things that he hadn't yesterday when her hair had fallen around her. She had tiny ears (pierced but lacking earrings), a light beauty mark just before her ear in the area her hair would usually cover, and a tiny scar just above her left eyebrow. Everything about her made her more precious.
Jared went to respond but the word came out like a whisper so he settled for shutting up and hoping Kim had heard it. It appeared that she had because she smiled and dropped into her seat.
It was almost as though his imprinting had made him even more prone to girl-induced idiocy. The only difference was that it was definitely intensified and the only girl who could provoke this new, dumb version of Jared was Kim.
Just to clarify, I don't believe the wolves in Stephenie Meyer's novels are fully aware of the significance of being a wolf. That was the point of the preface. It is not written in the point of any of her wolves specifically - though as they grow older I believe that they will begin to realize that side of things - but just to bring to reality what they are and as sort of a preview for whats coming later ;)
And I just wanted to say thanks to everyone who reviewed. You're all lovely, thank you so much !
Cheers and kisses .
